This afternoon a bird shat into my left front pocket

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I'm really mystified as to how this could have occurred, but I stopped for gas earlier and reached in my pocket to produce a ten dollar bill, and found my hand recoiling at the touch of fresh bird shit. I examined my pocket closely and discovered that somehow these leavings had landed about halfway down in my pocket, as if the feathered villain had perched atop my belt, opened the pocket with one wing, and contemptuously shat into it. I scanned the skies for the creature to no avail. I managed to scrape the feces from my denim and the tragically stained Hamilton bill and my life resumed as normal.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 9 May 2004 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

sure it was bird shit? might have been yogurt

― chrisco (chrisco), Sunday, 9 May 2004 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Or spunk.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 9 May 2004 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

My yogurt and spunk are all accounted for.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 9 May 2004 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope you store the tubs separately.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 9 May 2004 01:23 (twenty-one years ago)

yes but one time a mislabeling fiasco led to some Farrelly-esque hilarity.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 9 May 2004 01:24 (twenty-one years ago)

It's good luck, you know.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 9 May 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Eating a pot of spunk?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 9 May 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, that too.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 9 May 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I think my fear of this happening is much greater than the chance of it actually happening - I constantly get really worried when I walk under a tree and feel something landing on my head, only to discover to my relief that it's a leaf or twig or something.

Look at it this way Gear! you had more chance of being struck by lightning than having a bird crap in yr pocket. Don't expect it to happen again anytime soon.

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 9 May 2004 06:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I shan't launder these pants again, I've been blessed.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 9 May 2004 07:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark OTM. I feel like the amount of jokes about pigeons pooping on your head has produced a deep and unrealistic paranoia about this.

― Sym (shmuel), Sunday, 9 May 2004 07:15 (twenty-one years ago)

situation is all here - if you are near a rubbish tip, particularly one in a seaside town, then the chances of being a target rise hugely, as seagulls not only flock, but seem to have a high excretia to body size ratio.

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 9 May 2004 07:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, my recent lunch of yummy seaside chips had to be binned when a noisy seagull dropped its load, impressively on target, straight into the bag. It was a very loud splat that triggered other diners to snigger, point and firmly close the tops of their bags.

I was starving too, bastard.

― penelope_111, Sunday, 9 May 2004 07:44 (twenty-one years ago)

hold the mayo, mr seagull.

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 9 May 2004 07:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"This afternoon a bird shat into my front left pocket... so I finished with her."

― Lord Byron Lived Here, Sunday, 9 May 2004 07:57 (twenty-one years ago)

It could have been worse.

One of my first days at UC Irvine, almost (christ!) 15 years ago, I was eating at one of these prissy "grille" type places just outside campus. There were a couple of hawks fighting high above us over something one of them captured. Sure enough, they fought long enough such that one of the hawks dropped his/her prize, and it falls flat into the soup of this older couple sitting next to me from about 80-100 feet in the air. They had no idea the hawks were fighting as they were talking about something else, so needless to say, this nearly gave both of them a heart attack, when a dead dove slammed into their soup and nearly collapsed the cheap-ass plastic table.

So, um, Gear! at least THAT didn't happen to you.

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 9 May 2004 09:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"Waiter, there's a dead dove in my soup!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Sunday, 9 May 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"Waiter, what's this dove doing in my soup?"

"Sinking?"

― C J (C J), Sunday, 9 May 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I just slopped half a tub of yoghurt down the front of my clean tee shirt, and it does look remarkably like bird poo. Or spunk.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 9 May 2004 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

That reminds me, I should stop masturbating on the neighbors' cars.

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 9 May 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

gear! sure it wasn't santorum from another one of your roommate's sexploits?

when i was on my way to a DJ gig in tokyo, a pigeon ("hato") perched high above the fringe of kichijoji station plopped one down square on top of my head. i was told it was a lucky thing to happen.

― gygax! (gygax!), Sunday, 9 May 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Lucky it wasn't a house brick?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 9 May 2004 23:20 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost I never even thought of that possibility but the mere idea of it will have me awake all night, hiding under the covers, softly moaning "w....t....f" over and over.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 05:34 (twenty-one years ago)

In a garden a week ago a bird crapped in my significant others glass of wine, good or bad luck?

― frank swedehead, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 06:21 (twenty-one years ago)

thirteen years pass...

A bird shat on my head today on the way to work. The only lucky part seems to have been that I was wearing a hat. Though I do have a job interview on Monday so here's hoping for my Karmic redistribution.

― call me by your name..or Finn (fionnland), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 14:35 (seven years ago)

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