great ideas you'll never actually do so may as well reveal here

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1. Take footage of the sign-language people they add on the screen to late night TV shows, cut out and super-impose them onto hallucinogenic patterns generated in Maya. Use as club visuals.

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

2. Paddling pools for adults, with adult-oriented design.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

@d@m i was thinking you could actually have a crack at #1

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

3. Cars that are only one seat wide.
4. Roads to match.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

wank off the top of the sphinx

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I am no good at Maya. It's too hard!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

5. A new currency bearing the images of famous movie monsters.

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

6. Money trees.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:36 (twenty-one years ago)

7 Garbage Pail kid Talking Robots

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 00:36 (twenty-one years ago)

8. The triumphant return of Choose Your Own Adventure books.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:38 (twenty-one years ago)

9. The triumphant return of Sierra games. For Macs.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

10. Management with brains

― mullygrubber (gaz), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:41 (twenty-one years ago)

11 Food that plays music

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 00:42 (twenty-one years ago)

12. The triumphant return of Kings Quest I. For GBA.

No joke, this is from memory: IFNKOVHGROGHPRM

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:42 (twenty-one years ago)

13 Self-shaving beards

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

14 Braille furniture

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 00:48 (twenty-one years ago)

15. Orange tampons

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Smell-O-audio

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 00:51 (twenty-one years ago)

TVs that answer back

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

18. A talking car

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

20. Doorknobs shaped like dicks and knockers shaped like ... knockers.

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:54 (twenty-one years ago)

19. A machine that turns any object into Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Guide cats.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

That's gold, Trayce.

22. Self-saucing condoms

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

19 a Porgy and Bess sitcom

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

23. A 'Jump to Conclusions Mat'.

― Tom Smykowski (James Mitchell), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

24 Octopus toupees

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

25- Commentary tracks fer CDs, a lá DVDs....like, you know, 2CD reissues of classic albums where one is the actual album and the other is the album w/ the artist (or some music critic, or whatever) talking over it and giving insights.

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

that's genius!

― the 'surface' 'noise' (electricsound), Monday, 10 May 2004 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

26. Commentary tracks for commentary tracks.

'Heh. Heh. Yeah, this is the bit where I sniffed. Awesome.'

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 10 May 2004 01:01 (twenty-one years ago)

27 Disaster cookies

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

28. A tabloid that isn't shit

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 10 May 2004 01:10 (twenty-one years ago)

29. pr0n that isn't shit!

― Aaron A., Monday, 10 May 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

30 donut delivery service
31 invent time machine, go into past, cause time anomaly, film it all, go back further in past, undo anomaly, come back, win documentary prizes
32 also when I was back in past I'd kiss kathleen ilg at that one party at my place
33 microwave freezer

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 10 May 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

34 Ann Coulter sex doll

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

A tabloid that isn't shit

The Age as a tabloid size read would be a good start, who the hell invented broadsheets anyway.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 10 May 2004 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

35 gamelan muzak

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

White chocolate milk!!!

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Monday, 10 May 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

37 - rewrite Much Ado About Nothing for American teens, set it in a high school

38 - scene from a nonexistent coming-of-age story, five people sitting around a playground after midnight drinking from a magnum of merlot

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 10 May 2004 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

(I would apply to film school, but my desire to only make art-house teen comedies would get me laughed at.)

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 10 May 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

39. giant squid cuddle parties

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 10 May 2004 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

40. Glow-in-the-dark shower curtains, so that you could see where you're going at night.
41. Black shower curtain with miniscule tiny little holes in it. You could pretend like you were bathing in space.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 10 May 2004 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

3. Cars that are only one seat wide.

This exists actually.

― Debito (Debito), Monday, 10 May 2004 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

All right,

42. bloody more of them then.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 10 May 2004 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

43. Make Iraq the 51st state.

― Debito (Debito), Monday, 10 May 2004 04:53 (twenty-one years ago)

(this was actually something i spent quite a deal of time thinking about when babysitting my nephews):

45. eating containers for children that allow them to feed themselves but are spill-proof/throw-resistant (basically, a sippy cup for food).

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 10 May 2004 04:56 (twenty-one years ago)

46. also, a diaper changing robot. i mean, really.

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 10 May 2004 04:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Internet radio in yr car via wifi

― spilt_tigermilk, Monday, 10 May 2004 05:39 (twenty-one years ago)

so many of these are god-like

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 10 May 2004 08:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Alcohol vending machines in clubs. Maybe with a swipe-card so you just go up, swipe and that's it. Less time queuing, but equally ensures that only the girls who want to speak to blokes at the bar will be at the bar. Service at bars must remain just as slow so I can continue to use this as my opening line, though.

― Flameproof (Flameproof), Monday, 10 May 2004 08:24 (twenty-one years ago)

A website for 'wants lists'

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Monday, 10 May 2004 10:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Mentioned before:

50. Vinyl that wears down the more you play it so that by the 50th time the song sounds completely different than before.

51. A series of books that work as accompaniments to great albums. The series would be called "Sleevenotes" and would tell you all about that particular album, who played on it, interviews with the band at the time, lyric sheet, chords, a song-by-song critique etc. So if you really like the album, you can buy the sleevenotes.

52. Something to replace stamps on letters. It's the 21st century and we're still licking these crummy ripped up pieces of paper. There should be some kind of digital equivalent non?

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 10 May 2004 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

you can get self-adhesive stamps

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 10 May 2004 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

51: Ask and you shall recieve

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 10 May 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

They have a beer vending machine at a club I go to.

― ferg (Ferg), Monday, 10 May 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

52. release an instrumental album w/ a cookbook and have each piece of music be named for the recipe it is to accompany (like, Meters-style funk number called "Fish Fry" for fish fry recipe, etc)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 May 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

53. interactive holographic full-length feature films

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 May 2004 11:44 (twenty-one years ago)

52. release an instrumental album w/ a cookbook

jeebus i hope Jamie Oliver isn't lurking

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 10 May 2004 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

WTF?! hats

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 10 May 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha WTF?! hats would sell like bottled water in Mad Max world

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 May 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

54. Alcoholic Meat Yoghurts.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 10 May 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

kebab flavoured beer

or beer flavoured kebabs

― de, Monday, 10 May 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/9/7519129_F_tn.jpg

also:

http://www.t-shirtjunkies.com/comments/29_0_1_0_C/

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 10 May 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

the one linked to is better. who wants to wear white t-shirts?

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 10 May 2004 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Much Ado was re-written as a highschool flik. It was called "Get Over It" and starred Sisqo.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 10 May 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

56. Film adaptation of the poem "The Highwayman" that takes place in the projects.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

57. Develop a way to think through all your drudgery work so that way the brain-reading robots do the work for you, and you can stay in bed and sleep away the morning.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

58. build me one of them thurr Bucky Fuller-designed floating cities, float around the Earth picking up do-gooders a la the rapture

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

59. Read a thread all the way through before posting

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i saw this on tv a while ago and it was genius but it never took off. it's a peanut butter jar that has lids on BOTH ENDS so that when you get halfway empty you just flip it over and thus save yourself the indignity of incurring pbsleeve/pbwrist. so awesome.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 10 May 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

60. Earlids. We have eyelids that we can close when something's too bright. How about earlids for when something's too loud? You could also walk on a cold day with your earlids shut tightly. I'm not one to say that God made an oversight, but...

I sat here for ten minutes thinking about that peanut butter jar. Brilliant.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 10 May 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

70. Ice Cream Delivery Truck

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 10 May 2004 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

i can't help but notice that delivery is a central theme to lots of these 'ideas'

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Do hookers deliver?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, but you must ask before tipping them

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

The lastest update of Viz's Profanisaurus has an entry for 'Earlids' but they're defined as 'invisible flaps of skin that descend to cover a man's ears whenever his wife is talking.'

Ha ha, and stuff.

― ferg (Ferg), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Record people's real life conversations and interactions, then make a film with "movie" sets, camerawork, and all that; not faux-realistic stuff, except with actors carefully performing all the same dialogue, motions, facial expressions, etc. that you recorded earlier.

I imagine the secondhand "real" behavior would clash strikingly with the professional "movie" looking sets, shots, and actors.

Now that I think about it, though, it seems like this would have been done already. Can anybody tell me of movies where the dialogue isn't just "realistic" it's actually real (but not delivered by the people that originally said it)?

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Friday, 14 May 2004 08:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Are Cassavetes movies kind of like that? I've never seen...

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Friday, 14 May 2004 09:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd quite like to make a TV serial about time travelling Luddites. It'd be like Quantum Leap but with more fear and smashing.

― ferg (Ferg), Friday, 14 May 2004 09:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Similarly I wanted to record a conversation of people speaking in a pub and make a sort of collage-like film that shows representations of what they are talking about e.g. anecdotes, funny stories, stupid facts set to film and have the soundtrack as just their conversation.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 14 May 2004 10:07 (twenty-one years ago)

four weeks pass...

Some of the ideas on this thread should be submitted at http://www.globalideasbank.org/

their mission :
"The Global Ideas Bank aims to promote and disseminate good creative ideas to improve society. It further aims to encourage the public to generate these ideas, to participate in the problem-solving process. (...)"

People get to vote about their feasability/originality/humour.

Here's a an idea I just read from that site, that I like in a "the amount of power one have over the others should come with an equal level of transparency" sort of way:

" _Electronic surveillance of the police_
It is time to put to use the miniature electronic devices now available to monitor every act and word spoken by police officers during their duty rounds.

It has been revealed that many convictions of so-called criminals in the Los Angeles area have been accomplished by law officers falsifying evidence and committing perjury. These records, like the black boxes in aircraft cockpits, could be made an essential part of every case."

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Sunday, 13 June 2004 04:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Recently I lay in bed trying to go to sleep and spent a good hour thinking up an idea of a new type of online adventure game, which didn't involve any programming but instead utilising a more human response a bit like a gamesmaster in a d&d game but without all the dice rolling and stats and shit. I thought it was great and eventually went to sleep.

I woke up in the morning and after about 20 seconds immediately found a ton of flaws in the idea.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Sunday, 13 June 2004 07:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh and everlasting gobstoppers

― Ste (Fuzzy), Sunday, 13 June 2004 07:49 (twenty-one years ago)

ratsac for humans

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Sunday, 13 June 2004 08:23 (twenty-one years ago)

i want to sell rocks with with little fake mohawks pasted on them. they'd be called "lil' punk rocks". the gullible hot topic set would probably buy them, stupid kiddies.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 13 June 2004 08:30 (twenty-one years ago)

seven years pass...

TV Channel showing nothing but funny cat videos 24/7. Seriously - why hasn't anyone thought of doing this yet?

― Yo wait a minute man, you better think about the world (dog latin), Monday, 19 September 2011 09:36 (thirteen years ago)

http://funpics.classicfun.ws/var/albums/Cats!/two%20hundred%20channels%20and%20nothing%20but%20cats.jpg?m=1293808122

― Silent Hedgehogs (Trayce), Monday, 19 September 2011 09:46 (thirteen years ago)

dohh

http://funpics.classicfun.ws/var/albums/Cats!/two%20hundred%20channels%20and%20nothing%20but%20cats.jpg?m=1293808122

― Silent Hedgehogs (Trayce), Monday, 19 September 2011 09:46 (thirteen years ago)

Oh, and this one:

2. Paddling pools for adults, with adult-oriented design.

Kind of already exists, tho Im not sure if adam meant RUDE design:

http://swimmingpoolsdesign.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/inflatable-swimming-pools.jpg

― Silent Hedgehogs (Trayce), Monday, 19 September 2011 09:48 (thirteen years ago)

25- Commentary tracks fer CDs, a lá DVDs....like, you know, 2CD reissues of classic albums where one is the actual album and the other is the album w/ the artist (or some music critic, or whatever) talking over it and giving insights.
― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Monday, 10 May 2004 00:59 (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

There's an edition of "Queen's Greatest Hits" that is exactly this, I believe.

― Mark G, Monday, 19 September 2011 10:00 (thirteen years ago)

Alcohol vending machines in clubs. Maybe with a swipe-card so you just go up, swipe and that's it. Less time queuing, but equally ensures that only the girls who want to speak to blokes at the bar will be at the bar. Service at bars must remain just as slow so I can continue to use this as my opening line, though.
― Flameproof (Flameproof), Monday, 10 May 2004 08:24 (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

It's OK, they don't have vending machines for turkey.

― Mark G, Monday, 19 September 2011 10:06 (thirteen years ago)

Insert $2 to gobble

― Silent Hedgehogs (Trayce), Monday, 19 September 2011 10:26 (thirteen years ago)

three years pass...

A service like Uber where you pay someone a nominal fee and they come round and shout at your noisy neighbours so you don't have to.

― who epitomises beta better than (ShariVari), Friday, 19 June 2015 21:21 (ten years ago)

Housecleaning party, where you invite all your friends to have food and drinks and help you scrub floors

― Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Friday, 19 June 2015 22:05 (ten years ago)

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