Greatest Hits: Your Random Public Mutterings

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Because you're excited, depressed, giddy, insane, whatever! Extra points if people stared!


Feeling:

Musical, happy - "Chk-Chk-Chk-DUNH-Chk-Chk-Chk!" (with dancing)

Embarrassed, guilty, sarcastic - "Well today was a hit."

Panicky and indecisive in video store - "Cmon baby, gimme that newness"

LC, Monday, 10 May 2004 11:02 (twenty-one years ago)

An example of Insane:

I was once taking a streetcar through Chinatown in Toronto. I was feeling a little out of it, and the streetcar was packed with people. I guess my internal monologue got switched to "external", 'cos after catching a glimpse of this bizarrely customized Honda Civic (huge spoiler, ridiculous rims/lo-pros, paintjob, etc) I exclaimed "THAT'S CRAZY! That's just crazy." much to the bemusement of those around me.

Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Monday, 10 May 2004 11:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I was trying to calm myself down while i was walking down the street and i said 'be cool' out loud and a guy looks up at me and says 'ayyyyyyyyyyy' like the fonz

Nellie (nellskies), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 07:25 (twenty-one years ago)

First thing in the morning I have very little control over my verbal reactions to annoyances. Thus, when I find that my crazy flatmate has once again moved the bathmat out of the bathroom or flung my towels in a corner, I whisper viciously, "stupid cow" or similar and stomp around moodily. Likewise, when I actually make it out of the door, I have to cross a fairly busy road to get to the bus-stop, and I'm sure everyone already over there really enjoys me yelling, "stop, you fuckers, let me over!" at the traffic. As if the drivers can hear me.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 07:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Driving past some cyclists on a road trip in Colorado, yelling "work it! Feel the burn! Master your ass!"

Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 10:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Just before my wife gave birth, we're in the hospital walking up to deliveries. This is 3 o clock in the morning. My head is playing the Fall record I like at that point.

Then I suddenly sing under my breath: "I'm a mummeah!"
Dawn : "Pardon?"
Mark: "nothing."

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 10:10 (twenty-one years ago)

(I can't resist adding a PS to Markelby. We were driving up a steep hill and Mark failed to realize that the back window was open while he was doing his very loud shouting at the cyclists. Cue sheepishness and my loud laughter.)

sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm working and singing along to Negativland and taking some books outside to put on the sale rack..."COMMUNISM IS GOOOOOD!" Unfortunately, there is a bus stop right outside the store. Everybody stops waiting for the bus and looks at me, because I am the crazy lady at the bus stop. Sigh

Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

to myself, today, walking by Ground Zero and witnessing a girl with a Bush/Cheney campaign hat: "holy fucking shit!"

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Having just drunkenly pissed on an alley wall, I look down at my shoes and mutter, "Next time don't stand so close to the fucking wall," just as a posse of women amble by.

mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I once heard a guy at a barbeque in Dublin, looking absently at the rosy sunset, murmur dreamily to himself: "...vagina-pink clouds..."

Conor (Conor), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

In school, bored and staring at the girls in my class: "Mmmm... boobies".

dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

usually just the word "motherfuckers" with increasing volume & disbelief

J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

When I was 13 or so I had some Fisher Price tape recorder thing, and one day I decided to record myself saying all the bad words I knew, especially if they were about girls' bits. This I did, behind a closed door, whispering - but somehow my mum heard me and made me wipe the tape "in case your little brother finds it".

Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 11:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark, can I use that in a story?

kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

On a flight to Taiwan aged 5, when the plane dipped and I got that funny feeling I exclaimed: "Ooooh! That tickles my rooster!"

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"I like bananas okay, but don't you hate how they make your throat swell up and make it difficult to breathe?"

Of course, after the response I got to this, I realized that this is *not* a normal reaction to bananas and that I am -- in fact -- allergic to bananas.

Evanston Wade (EWW), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I was at Amoeba and found this Ellen Allien CD I'd been looking for, very cheap and used. for some reason I said "excelsior!" out loud and this girl looked at me funny.

Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

In a politics lesson, rapping the Beasties' 'Eggman' to myself.

Me, slightly louder than necessary: I throw it at a sucker/K-pap

Politics tutor: No, not a kebab, Barima.

Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Kirsten, sure thing.

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 13 May 2004 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Five years old at a playing pool. Little kid wanders over and wants to play. I look at him and shout "WORKTOP, WORKTOP, WORKTOP"

Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 13 May 2004 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

(the days before Laptops presumably)

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 13 May 2004 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha, me too, John!

tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 13 May 2004 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Mikey is responsible for the funniest one of these I ever heard....

"g g I am the G for I am he, the g g g"

did you think anyone was in the house dude?

chris (chris), Thursday, 13 May 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)


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