things that you hear coming out of your mouth, and you wonder 'when did I get so old...?'

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I just went to have my hair cut, and found myself asking her not to put 'One of those lines in the side... you know, like young people have'.

She laughed, hollowly. Like someone making it clear they're laughing because she's not sure whether you're trying to be amusing or not.

She still put a bloody line in it. Grrr. No tip.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

*bemused at this 'line' image (clearly I'M old too)*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Every time I turn the music down, a little part of me dies inside.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

lines? Do you mean like a fade?

this morning:

Let's get this straight, *I'm* the adult and you will do what I say. It is not optional.

I think it was the "i'm the adult" thing you know.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

at around 12:15AM: "man i'm really fucking tired. I'm gonna go home and go to bed". I lost a lot of respect for myself after that.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"what's emo?"

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Every time I turn the music down, a little part of me dies inside.

Alternately, if you keep having to turn it up, it means you are old and deaf.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

*bemused at this 'line' image (clearly I'M old too)*

It seems to be the THING in Birmingham. It often accompanies a mullet - the lower portions of the side of the head are shaved, the mid part is a little longer and the bit on the very top is left long, flowing and free, to run all the way down the back and perhaps, if you're really stylish, to be bleached. Even when you don't request a mullet, there seems to be a tendency at this particular place to put a little line in, as if they know that you secretly wanted a stupid haircut, but you were just too scared to ask.

Birmingham appears to have wholeheartedly embraced the mullet. This saddens me.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

It seems to be the THING in Birmingham. It often accompanies a mullet

I fear this says so much.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

It seems to be the THING in Birmingham. It often accompanies a mullet
I fear this says so much.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), May 10th, 2004.

Usually, I'd have to berate you for this type of remark about Birmingham. On this occasion, I'm aware that I'd only be attempting to delude myself.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Alternately, things that make me think 'when did I become my dad?':

*"If you don't quit that right now, you're getting a time out."
*"I'm gonna count to 3. 1...2...2 1/2...2 3/4..."
*"DON'T MAKE ME PULL THIS CAR OVER."
*"Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should."

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Normally I wouldn't have said it, Hobart, but it sounds like the city decided to embrace the stereotypes.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Oddly, I've managed to avoid all the old lines my parents used on me. But it's early days...

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

nick you became your dad when you became a dad, surely?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sorry, could you repeat that? My hearing's not so good these days

― Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Monday, 10 May 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

The urge to marvel over how much a kid has grown since you saw them last. I manage to bite my tongue before that comes out...it always annoyed me so much when I was little.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"what the bludy hell does he/she look like?"

"it's just noise"

"is that a boy or a girl?"

"blah blah mortgage blahblahblah"

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"goddamn, why won't these college girls wear proper clothes?"

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

"they should ban every one under 16 from cinemas and public places in general"

"oh my back"

"why can't people queue anymore?"

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

"it's your own stupid fault for not carrying an umbrella"

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

oh geez, 10 already? I should really be going. I've got an early start tomorrow.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"put some clothes on and cover up. your only 13 ferchrissake"

― oops (Oops), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"i remember the moon landing"

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"oh my God, you were born in the eighties, shouldn't you still be in school? How come you're making more than me?"

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

my ongoing struggle re: Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players to thread

― Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

teaching has provided me so many reminders of my waning youth. I am really old for sure now. no questions asked. I'm older than some of my students' parents. :/

It's bad when I'll tell them things like remembering when MTV first came on the air and they give me this look like I'm Grandpa Simpson starting one of his stories. "It happened back in ought-eight and I was wearning an onion from my belt 'cause that was the fashion at the time. . ."

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't like those hubcap rims that keep moving even after the car has stopped.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i love those!!! I wish I could afford some spinners. I'd slap 'em on my 93 Chevy Lumina and I'd be one stylin' mofo.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha Chris Rock to thread!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

oh my God, you were born in the eighties, shouldn't you still be in school?

jel otm.

― martin m. (mushrush), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"What do you mean you've never heard of Talking Heads?"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"will you just SIT DOWN and stop being so hyper?"

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Anything to do with rents/house prices.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"can you *please* turn that down, I can't hear myself think" - I actually said this in my office a few weeks ago. they all laughed at me. bah.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

This happened a couple of years ago, I was walking with a friend as we spotted a gang of loud, boozing teenagers. I said to my friend: "Fucking youth!", then stopped for awhile. Since when did I start not including myself to the "youth"? I'm still in my twenties, for chrissakes!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

8:30pm on a Friday night "Its bedtime! YAY!"

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"it's your own stupid fault for not carrying an umbrella"

WINNER

― Aaron A., Monday, 10 May 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm too tired"

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 10 May 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

"When did I get so old"

I tend to think this kind of thing. In the last few weeks I've had an intangible but very strong sense that I have reached the second half of my life, that I've passed the fulcrum and am definitely on the other side. I hope this isn't literal - I'd like to live beyond 59 - but on some terms it's got me and I can't shake the feeling.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 10 May 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I've kinda always been old, or completely kiddish, none of the inbetween "youth" thing.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 10 May 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

jel, OTM.

I bounce between being a curmodgeonly old geezer and a seven year old sometimes in the course of the same hour.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 10 May 2004 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"I don't think this Chablis has been properly chilled"

"A splash more tonic in my gin, old bean"

― penelope_111, Monday, 10 May 2004 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"Could you direct me to the nearest B&B in the Glastonbury area please?"

― penelope_111, Monday, 10 May 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

"A splash more tonic on my bean, old gin"

― HELLO NURSE (Dan Perry), Monday, 10 May 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Applying tonic to your bean sounds appropriate.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 10 May 2004 16:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"This is one of those fancy [insert foodstuff here], isn't it?"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 May 2004 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

The bakery where I work is just down the block from an elementary school, and around 7:45 every weekday morning there's a rush of kids coming in for a free slice of bread or a piece of a cookie or something from the sample board. The neighborhood is very wealthy, and many of the kids are very, very spoiled and rude and greedy. (Once, for example, this little snot-faced ten-year-old pushed his way in front of a bunch of paying customers and demanded a slice of bread, and when I quietly and politely told him he was being rude and had to wait his turn, he glared at me and laughed and said "You can't talk to me like that." Much to the delight of the other children.)
So, the other day, I decided that kids who don't say "please" don't get anything. I actually opened my mouth and said, "What's the magic word?" to a fourth-grader, who responded with a blank stare and then..."Now."
Due to incidents of this nature, I have stopped filling the sweets sample board until after eight o'clock, when all the kids are in school. No cookies, no brownies, no scones. Nothing but the flavorless low-fat berry muffins I know they all hate. At times, the satisfaction I get from observing the disappointed faces of the little fuckers makes me feel very old and crotchety, but I really don't care.

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

kudos kirsten!
fuck those kids.

― todd swiss (eliti), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:14 (twenty-one years ago)

haha recently "I just think it'd be nice to go out for dinner sometime, and THEN go out drinking!"

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

kirsten you are my hero. GIMME SOME BREAD NOW.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

What's the MAGIC WORD?

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Due to incidents of this nature, I have stopped filling the sweets sample board until after eight o'clock, when all the kids are in school. No cookies, no brownies, no scones. Nothing but the flavorless low-fat berry muffins I know they all hate. At times, the satisfaction I get from observing the disappointed faces of the little fuckers makes me feel very old and crotchety, but I really don't care.

you're awesome. dissapointing children is sooo satisfying.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Well done Kirsten. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

CUNTYMINTS!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Sprinkled with fresh bootyflakes.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, that is truly a magical word.

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"I have to nap otherwise I won't get through tonight."

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

That was a beautiful story.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 10 May 2004 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

That was a beautiful story.

So it was. Reminds me of that episode of EastEnders where Grant Mitchell walks into the Vic (after he's stopped working there) and says to whichever buxom burd's behind the bar, "Pint of the usual". Burd says, "What's the magic word?", to which Grant replies..."Lager".

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Monday, 10 May 2004 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Nice one indeed Kirsten :D

I know I'm old cuz I'm always saying stuff like "no I cant come out, its a weeknight, I'll get too tired" and "what, 2 nights in a row? How do you do it?".

Also, music is shit these days and kids wear the tartiest clothing.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 10 May 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

poppers? urgh, no they just give me a headache.

sometimes people just GET tired.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 10 May 2004 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Meh, I'm too busy to get old. My excuses are always because I've legitimately got something else on, like uni assignments.

The only 'old' thing I can think of is this frickin' gut I can't seem to shake off. Being tied to a desk and eating biscuits all day doesn't help, but the gym keeps it in check.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 10 May 2004 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Ooh yeah thats the other one, I now find myself saying "damn, I cant eat what the hell I like anymore... where the hell did this gut come from?"

The other day my mum informed me "thats the menopause dear". I'M ONLY THIRTY THREE MUM.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 00:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"the"

― martin m. (mushrush), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

What is it with old people [i.e. our mums' generation] and getting old? They behave a certain way because they're 'old'. They think they should act old. And when something happens to us, they go 'oh, it's because you're getting old, dear.' It's an obsession. They waste the last 40 years of their life waiting to die. Naff++.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I caught myself recently saying, while listening to an album a friend suggested I, "this just sounds like noise". I felt like such an asshole.

― Charlie Rose (Charlie Rose), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm starting a liver cleansing diet next week. WTF!!!

― neurovurgeon, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I should do me one of those, I think mines shot to shit.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Detox? A naturopath gave me this stuff in a bottle that smells actually like sewerage and tastes even worse, and I had to take it every day for weeks. Then as soon as I got up I had to empty my bowels or risk losing it all over the bedroom. Detoxing sucks.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

On reflection, that probably could have been less graphic.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Um yeah, thanks ;)

but ewgh... wtf is the stuff? Sound nasty.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 03:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Not sure. It's meant to detoxify you somehow, in conjunction with magnesium powder and a very specific diet. We threw out the bottles when we finished, didn't want to risk breaking them and getting shit smell all through the house.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 03:29 (twenty-one years ago)

the other day, i just told a young lady w/ whom i work who's about 8 years younger than me and who likes interpol and franz ferdinand -- "if you remembered the originals like joy division, the fall, and echo and the bunnymen, you'd have no use for that crap."

i was half-joking, but STILL.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 04:03 (twenty-one years ago)

oh god, it's so much worse when you're a teacher. just try pulling that stunt where you sit in silence until your class notices your moping and quiets down, and tell me you don't feel 85+.

i was trying to explain to my students who Buddy Holly was, so i asked them if they knew who Weezer are. blank stares, and one cheeky fucker in the back piped up that 'it must be the generation gap'. kill me now ok pls thks.

― Dave M. (rotten03), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 04:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I live in (cue Bret Hart voice) Calgary, Alberta Canada (/Bret Hart), where after seven years out of the playoffs, our local hockey team, the Calgary Flames, are on an amazing run - three wins away from the Stanley Cup final and four wins away from taking the whole thing.

After they clinched a second round upset against the Detroit Red Wings (who had won the President's Trophy for earning the most points in the regular season), I joined 10 000 of my fellow fans in the bar district near the stadium (17th Avenue aka "The Red Mile"). But watching the kids riding around on the tops of their cars, all I could think is "that's dangerous - they should get down!" even though I had done the exact same thing in 1989 when the Flames last won the Cup!

― Jaybo, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 05:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I sit there with kids watching the new episodes of the simpsons and they think they're hilarious. I yearn for the days when they weren't shite.

― Nellie (nellskies), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 05:14 (twenty-one years ago)

there's also 'when did i feel so old' with the tendency to call people 'kids' and then remember they are the same age as you or perhaps even older.

― scissors (Honda), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 05:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i realize that half of the punk/new wave music being played in LA on 103.1 is 20 years old and I was at the live show. shoot me now, i am a useless cultural relic.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 05:29 (twenty-one years ago)

CUNTYMINTS!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 05:40 (twenty-one years ago)

"Every time I turn the music down, a little part of me dies inside.

Alternately, if you keep having to turn it up, it means you are old and deaf. "

I always keep the music down a little bit, but that's just becuase I'm a hypocondriac and fear that my hearing is starting to go. I don't want to not be able to listen to music!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 05:45 (twenty-one years ago)

The other week I went to the doctors and realised in horror the DOCTOR WAS YOUNGER THAN ME BY SOME AMOUNT.

AAAAARGH.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 05:46 (twenty-one years ago)

judges are still older than me ... BUT NOT BY THAT MUCH

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 05:49 (twenty-one years ago)

there's also 'when did i feel so old' with the tendency to call people 'kids' and then remember they are the same age as you or perhaps even older.
This is SO me. I even feel a huge gap between people who are only about four years younger than I am and myself, no matter what kind of justification I try to make re: why I shouldn't.

(Note to Eisbar -- I love Franz Ferdinand AND I love Gang of Four and The Jam. *grin*)

I just remembered that I used to play "Barney" videos for little tiny children who are now old enough to have earned their driver's licenses. Fuck. I can't picture any of those little kids I haven't seen in nearly a decade actually being behind the wheel of some sort of automobile. I mean, I taught half those kids how to tie their own shoelaces and I gave them cookies and milk when they arose from their naptime. Oh damn, gray hair check underway right now.

But you're asking for things that come out of my mouth instead of things I think about? Hm. I suppose catching myself saying "These kids today" and "I wouldn't even let her walk around the house in that outfit" would just about do it. Oh, and "That boy must have some kind of hearing problem, having the volume turned up that loudly."

*searches frantically for a cane*

― Those Beautiful Lines (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

is it "not remembering" if they were too young to have known about it in the first place?

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 07:35 (twenty-one years ago)

judges are still older than me ... BUT NOT BY THAT MUCH

dude, i was walking past the back of the Royal Courts of Justice last week and i saw this guy who was wearing the garb of a barrister and HE WAS ABOUT TWELVE, and don't get me *started* on policemen...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 07:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Amber (three at the time): I want a drink!
me : What's the magic word?
Amber: Abracadabra?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 08:04 (twenty-one years ago)

ok, I guess I'm worse, not only I'm growing old but I refuse to realize it - that means I must look demented when I behave like a 21 years old and believe am one, nothwistanding the fact that I obviuosly don't look one (plus embarassing the kids around me)
another sign I'm getting old: I've been thinking "true" and "hilarious, but true" for everything I've just read...
Finally, in Italian you use a differente verbal form for "older" people, and when kids start using that with you, to ask for cigarettes and stuff, you automatically know you're done with.

― misshajim (strand), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 08:32 (twenty-one years ago)

"i can't believe i've been in this job 4 years. my last best was 2"

― mullygrubber (gaz), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 08:34 (twenty-one years ago)

in Italian you use a differente verbal form for "older" people

Oh man, the first time some woman in a supermarket said to her child, "Let the lady past" I nearly died. Mind you, I guess it would be a bit weird calling me a girl now.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 09:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyone calling me a 'boy' would be in for a very severe look over the top of my glasses.

I can do that, cos I am old and work in a library. Double the joy.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"Come on, the video will still be here when we get back"

GOD I SOUNDED LIKE MY MOTHER!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 09:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"I think I'll phone ahead"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 09:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"Yeah, we got on really well the other night. She's a couple of years younger than me and she's a teacher"

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 09:22 (twenty-one years ago)

The really disturbing thing is when old ladies refer to me as 'that lady'.

― leigh (leigh), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 09:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I have the opposite 'problem', in as much as I don't feel that much older than people I work or talk with, who are 24 upwards. I think that as I'm not one to offer advice or impart 'knowledge' without being fairly specifically asked for it, is when you know as Dennis Norden used to say "you know when you're getting old..."

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 09:24 (twenty-one years ago)

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