The Evening Standard billboard game

Background for non-Londoners: The Evening Standard is a newspaper available in London and the surrounding area published on weekdays and primarily aimed at the commuter. Like most UK evening papers it is sold on city street corners and outside train/metro stations as well as at newsagents. In order to attract passing custom, it uses billboards with 'shock horror' headline messages, which are sometimes amusingly ambiguous and usually wildly OTT when read literally.

On this thread, post examples (must be genuine) as and when you spot them. Others can then speculate about the story, post fake reports consistent with the headline, etc. In this game, it helps of course if you know nothing of the real story behind the billboard.

Hope that's clear. Here we go...