I'm so so sorry

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When I was writing the program, I put a 0 where there should have been a 1.

It kind of fucked it up. But you know that.

Erm, I'm sorry. I just thought I'd come on here and tell you that.

I've been meaning to get round to it for a while, but..you know.
I'm stubborn. THERE. I said it. I'm proud and stubborn. Sorry.

It could've been worse. I was thinking of giving you interchangable genitals.

Anyway...please make me feel better.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

some of us figured out the interchangable genitals thing on our own. no prob.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Heh...well you know that was my filthy mind working through you lot.
I gave you technology to make up for that program error. I like the way you use it...sometimes.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

which do You like better, Jesus Christ Superstar or Godspell?

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

does God really work in binary?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

dude, God, it's okay.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: Father, Son, Holy Ghost

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

God, where's that $20 you owe me? You said you'd have it last week. Maybe I should ask your kid. He's not as forgetful as you.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Since you're here, there's something I've been meaning to ask:

Which religion is the TRUE religion?

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I was thinking of giving you interchangable genitals.

this would've been a good idea. you're fired!

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

"which do You like better, Jesus Christ Superstar or Godspell?"

Fuck, that's the choice? Actually I like Hair better than either of them. And the Rocky Horror Show, that shit is wild! "Let's do the time-warp again" hahaha.

I like Jeremy Sisto. He's a clean young man.

Erm, I should stress musicals are a by-product of the error though....still they turn a negative into a positive!

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Erm, I should stress musicals are a by-product of the error though....still they turn a negative into a positive!

So are you coming out as anti-gay but pro-musical?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

"Since you're here, there's something I've been meaning to ask:
Which religion is the TRUE religion?"

You know that Moon guy?
Hahaha only kidding, he's batshit.

Well Robert. The truth is they're all right.....and wrong.

Er, just praise me dude. You can't go wrong there.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

No problemo. Catch you later, buddy.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"So are you coming out as anti-gay but pro-musical?"

"I'm coming out! I want the world to know, got to let it show..."
oh man that's one of my best. Anyhoo what were we talking about..?
Oh yeah. No not at all Horace. Are you saying musicals is the only art gay people can produce? Dude, MICHAELANGELO. Just one example.

I only meant there to be 3000 of you at any one time so most sex was supposed to be up the ass anyway.
This procreation stuff....man have you twisted my intentions.
It's my fault though *sob*

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God,

Is Ghostface Killah really gay?

Your Humble Servant, JS

― js, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I only just noticed that '0' and '1' have a sort of yoni & lingam thing going on. Hey, God, what's with that?

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

For my birthday I want giant bat-wings and a tiger's tail. I want to be able to re-grow my teeth like a shark. I want my hair to glow like those deep sea fish. I'd also like claws and those extra eyelid things. Lemme know if you can help. Praise be unto you, etc...

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow God, you made the best thread evah.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Lord Thuindering Jesus, God you should know that not even you programs in 1 and 0s anymore. Just get yourself an opcode table and write in assembly.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm woindering what thuindering means.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

The extra "i"s are what make him all-seeing, I guess.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Makes sense.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick, you're not fooling me. You do NOT praise me enough. Oh I know.
And you come on here and you're all like "oh best thread evah!".
Stop drinking so much, it is an affront to my vision.
And you have poor taste in music. Get into some older bands.

Everyone else, I like all of you, carry on the good work.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

God's victimising me!

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I do like some older bands! And I've not had a drink since Sunday!

I am an athiest.

This is a great thread though! Or it was, until I got told off by God.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael, I'm up to my limit of superheroes (oops shouldn't have revealed that). However I do know of an animal-fetish circle in Maryland you might like to join. Pray to me tonight and I'll send you a vision.

(yes you can do it after rumpo)

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I do like you really Nick. Especially when you shout out My Name during - well you know.

Contrary to what some'll tell you, I don't mind that at all.
In fact I count it as prayer so...you know, get on it.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Hands up who else is feeling a little scared?

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

does God really work in binary?

That would be Manicheaism, which is considered to be a heresy because (among other reasons?) it implies that Satan is as powerful as God. (You do prefer "God" to "G-d"?)

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

God, can you give me some tips on lottery numbers?

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo, God, like not for superhero duties or anything but because I'm kinda bored. No offense or anything, Your Worshipfulness, but the whole creation thing is so...so predictable sometimes. Anyway, after the muddled, animalistic copulation I'll get down to prayin' and await the whole vision thing.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Sure Horace. What do you play?

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha! I don't play. You're not God at all, or you'd know that!

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Way to double cross the imposter, Hucklebunny!

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Shall we crucify then?

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Just kidding. Pick a pet's birthday, an important date from the civil war, your pant size, and three random numbers from tv baseball matches.

You will win $50

Repaid with interest!

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

The English or American Civil War?

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Although you owe ME for that remark

Your balls are going to ache like hell tonight mister.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Horace knows. He also knows what it's like to be speared through the crotch by a yankee bayonet.

Or he will soon anyway.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

j-lu I prefer to work in binary. I mean the problem with other programmming methods - well you'll find out soon. Oh man. You'll find out bad.

I'll leave you to your theological speculation.

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

don't You think You should look into getting Your own domain? or is yahoo actually a nickname for YHWH?

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I think they're ALL His domains.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

master of, blah blah blah

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"don't You think You should look into getting Your own domain"

Think about this for a second.

Everything that exists is mine.

Everything humans create is my creation.

So.

Also the storage space is v.useful, I mean hotmail wtf?

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Sick in quicker-than-God shockah.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I bow down before you, Sick.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I bow down, sick before you.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

God, I think I love you. I'd like to help you with your second coming. I'm pure, virginal and immaculately conceptual. Sorta.

― penelope_111, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick.

I took millions of years to create you.

Perhaps I botched it, yes.

But still, I take my time.

I learnt from my original mistake.

Didn't I guys?

― God, Tuesday, 11 May 2004 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 63 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

City poop has fluoride in it, ew.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 14 May 2004 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Your search - shit flavored toothpaste - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:
- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.
- Try fewer keywords.
Also, you can try Google Answers for expert help with your search.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God:

You're right, I'm thinking too much about me, and not enough about you. Would you like an apple?

Love, Luna

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you have a forked tongue and the ability to unhinge your jaw, Luna? 'Cause if you do we could start the Friday flirting again.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

A girl's got to have some secrets.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I won't tell.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm easy, but I ain't stupid.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Fair enough. As long as you're either not venomous or instantly lethal. His Awesomeness programmed me to loathe having to suffer.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I admit nothing.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

My Eternal Hour passes well. Hello everyone.
You know it really was a brainwave to get on the net and get to know all of you in person, rather than just squatting in your subconscious. I certainly designed an interesting bunch here.

Luna my blessed ones will certainly appreciate any apples you have.
Pay no mind to those who would interpret this as pernicious symbolism.
I wouldn't say you were selfish. Vain yes. But then that's an inbuilt recurring design flaw with beauty. My fault again *sigh*

― God, Friday, 14 May 2004 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"A girl's got to have some secrets."

I won't tell.

― God, Friday, 14 May 2004 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks, you're a peach!

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Not that I'm looking for a divine smackdown, but why, Oh Merciful One, didn't you just erase and re-write when you saw the error?

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael get in touch with you-know-who.
This will you save one of your limbs.
One of the ones you use a lot.

I don't normally do this kind of thing.

― God, Friday, 14 May 2004 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

The error, indeed the program, has power over me, Michael.

It's a long story.

Let's just say there are shareholders.

I've said too much.

― God, Friday, 14 May 2004 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

OH NO GOD IS MICHAEL STIPE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Can't buy 'em out, eh?

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

No.

I'm afraid your brain would literally explode if I even started to relate a tiny part of it.

And that's a program feature designed to prevent your soul from being shredded first.

― God, Friday, 14 May 2004 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Shredded soul tacos, mmmmmmm!

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm easy, but I ain't stupid.

Pointless flirting again. *sigh*

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

The error, indeed the program, has power over me, Michael.

Dear God,

ARE YOU KITT?????

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Friday, 14 May 2004 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God:

The men I desire only want to be friends. What do you have to say for yourself on this?

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 14 May 2004 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

When come back, bring sexing.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 14 May 2004 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

God sexing=good.
Pie sexing=50%

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 14 May 2004 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"The men I desire only want to be friends. What do you have to say for yourself on this?"

Some people have no friends j. I wouldn't use the word 'only'.

― God, Friday, 14 May 2004 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do you people magnify my mistakes?
The Eurovision Song Contest?
Rub my Heavenly Visage in it why don't you.

I'm not a happy God today.

― God, Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it true that it isn't you who's got the best tunes, then?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God (which is the beginning of the weakest song on Skylarking, btw),

How come I wasn't born black?

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

All music praises me.

At least I've learnt to look at it that way

― God, Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

All music praises me.

Including black and death metal?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

You will be Jeremy

― God, Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. They're actually singing about Me.
Okay so they should actually be catching rats or filing corpses, but I must allow music its own power.

― God, Saturday, 15 May 2004 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

O God. What's this all about?

God to endorse Dan

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey God, you said I could borrow your lawn mower. That was TWO FUCKING WEEKS AGO. What up with that?

Oh, and you still have my Kenny Loggins CD. I bet you didn't even listen to it, ya stupid omnipotent bastard.

― Satan, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 08:07 (twenty-two years ago)

This is why I am so glad I moved out all those years ago.

― Satan, Wednesday, 19 May 2004 08:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Somehow I always suspected that Satan used Hotmail...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 08:50 (twenty-two years ago)

What else would he use?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 19 May 2004 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Sweet Jesus, when will Kate Bush release another album?

Would Dear God answer this, please?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Sunday, 23 May 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

My sessions with Kate have been going well. Er, she's rather demanding so I've had to get several very personalised muse spirits on this one (Please don't ask how this bureaucracy asks, as I said you do not have the requisite marbles). Multitracking her voice with the use of spiritual doppplegangers has been quite fun (and she don't get phased at all! what a gal!)
You'll be able to illegally download the finished product fairly soon now, before the United States invades another country infact.
Disclaimer: I do not endorse all of the outlandish theosophy in Kate's new album. Ahem; it's sort of necessary that I say that.

Yo Satan! Your crack's showin! Yeah the circles of hell! Belchin' fire too. Heh heh. Oh man.

― God, Sunday, 23 May 2004 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I want to give a shoutout to Pope Perry aka Pope Delicious I; you are righteous in my Mighty Gaze dude. Just try not to be so sick in the bedroom/living room ok? I have to watch that stuff.

― God, Sunday, 23 May 2004 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

'how this bureaucracy asks'

works. I'm not a pedantic deity

― God, Sunday, 23 May 2004 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Dear God,

You mean 'fazed' not 'phased.'

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Sunday, 23 May 2004 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

ilx apocrypha ahoy?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Sunday, 23 May 2004 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

...A-hem?

How do I know you all exist?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

How did God create the sky? --Mike Hanle y

How blue is the sky?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 29 May 2004 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

five years pass...

3. Mohammed Rahim Khushnawaz - "Rubab and Datar"

It's so so great.

― anatol_merklich, Saturday, 19 December 2009 00:32 (sixteen years ago)

I would like to request a dharma battle between God and a puppy. No pay-per-view, please.

― Aimless, Saturday, 19 December 2009 02:54 (sixteen years ago)

Mama I'm so sorry, I'm so obnoxious
I want that bacon treat in your pocket

― kenan, Saturday, 19 December 2009 02:57 (sixteen years ago)

Moderator Request: please move this thread to AAD.

― alter cocker jarvis cocker (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 19 December 2009 02:58 (sixteen years ago)

I still can't believe Leee killed God.

― Sean Carruthers, Saturday, 19 December 2009 16:01 (sixteen years ago)

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