RFI: non-traditional hand-shaking.

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This is a constant source of humiliation for me. How does one do the new "regular" type of hand-shake (the "frat guy" shake?)? I know it's not really like what people called jive handshakes in the 70's cause it only has one motion/iteration, but I also know that it differs significantly from the traditional kind.
It might also be a modified high five, I don't know.

It starts out sort of off to the side (the "I'm going to give you a handshake" indicator, only not straight front like traditional and not up high like a high five) and then... I don't know. The last one I was forced into I sort've did the, like, Ben Hur style hand clasp where thumbs are more involved than in a traditional handshake, but judging from the guy's weird reaction (which I may have been imagining) it was supposed to be more percussive or something?

Do you see what a hell day to day interaction is for me!?

― Dan I., Wednesday, 12 May 2004 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

It is confusing, but mainly because you don't realize that the gesture is a subtle cry for help and a plea for you to plant a big wet kiss on the guy. With mucho tongue.

― Skottie, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

i've been trying to get 'high fives' back in style for years.

my friends and i don't know how to greet each other, so a couple of us came up with special greetings. jim and i went through a phase of bumping our bums into each other as hello and goodbye...

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I tend to bust out the Complicated Handshake Part 1 (normal handshake, then upwards so your finger pass by the wrist and grasp the back of your opponent's thumb) at innoportune moments. About half the time (generally on guys) I pull in once the second one has locked for a clap on the shoulders. I'm worried that at some point I'll meet someone who'll try for the Part 2, and my feeble response will mean that I'll have to leave town.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

It's called getting/giving a pound, doods. Get hip.

― TheNewJMod (JMod), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait, what's part 2?

I've got the complicated handshake pretty ingrained...what Andrew describes, with the optional pound, and then the finishing movie is the snap. Hard to describe, but sliding your fingertips against the other person's so that upon release they make a snapping sound. Is that part 2?

I once gave the complicated handshake to a friend of my girlfriend's, mostly out of reflex, and his response was, "Hey, um, he's doing something...urban."

(x-post)

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

W, and indeed, TF???

you meerkans are wacky...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I suggest you master the pitying stare

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Preface it w/a chicken dance maybe, that'll learn em

― Mr Mime (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

(scribbles part 2 on piece of paper)

I'll learn ye on Saturday, stevem.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

It's always a problem when there has been no precedence established for the non-traditional handshake. The traditional handshake has evolved over many centuries as defacto standard. When your partner decides to stray from this standardized protocol, somehow YOU are the one feeling awkward! Why is that? It's like you're about to start a waltz and your partner breaks into salsa, and suddenly you look like the jackass.

Flamboyant handshakes must be built up over years of friendship, with elaborate choreography increasing in difficulty appropriately.

Personally, I prefer the fist crunch. Going into a handshake, balling your fist cues your partner to do the same. You rap knuckles lightly, and avoid any embarassing hand flailing because the visual cue is enough to say, "I am violating the handshake protocol and establishing a new one based on masculine respect for force. Please brother, join me in this new protocol so that we shall respect each other and not dally in oneupsmanship."

― Dale the Titled (cprek), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I seriously do daps/taters more often than handshakes/high fives anymore.

x-post you are my favorite person ever dawg *fistcrunch*

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:12 (twenty-two years ago)

You people are so square

― TheNewJMod (JMod), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

But with the fisting (so to speak), you can be unsure if it's going to be a straight-on motion or if it will be preceeded by the vertical one-on-top-of-the-other-and-then-reverse move.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm all about the ass-slap.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

...the vertical one-on-top-of-the-other-and-then-reverse move

This is what I mean when I say daps/taters, although the difference between the two is that daps conclude with a fistcrunch, whereas taters don't.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I just keep getting squarer.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

jordan, wtf? if the knuckles are on top, it's a single bump, if they're too the side, it's the vertical double-bump. Do I have to show you how to pee standing up too?

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

the gesturing of the fist before contact indicates the attack axis. raising the fist upwards before it's in between personal space is a clear sign of one-on-top/reverse. having the fist oriented with thumb and knuckles parallel to the ground is clearly straight-on attack.

ass-slap is good as well. i'll take fisting and assplay over a non-traditional handjob.

― Dale the Titled (cprek), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

That occurred to me after posting it actually. Handshakes are only as strong as their weakest link though, and if the other person doesn't know what they're doing, then you're going to have problems.

(x-post)

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

99 problems but a handshake ain't one

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

my & mr teeny's relationship is completely based on ass-slaps and high-fives.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

is it also based on hustling and grounders?

― Dale the Titled (cprek), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

(scribbling frantically)
(feeling self getting blacker)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

White people be deconstructing handshakes!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh word?

― TheNewJMod (JMod), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

my new favorite greeting is the "exploding fist crunch" that the chicago white sox do sometimes. you go in for a regular fist crunch, but when contact is made, open your hand fully. its the most funnest handshake greeting type thing ever. sound effects help.

― todd swiss (eliti), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, now you all are making it excessively complicated. All I want to know is what I should do when some guy with his hat on backwards swings his arm off to the side (open-handed) and goes "later bra" or something! I'm 99.9 percent certain he doesn't expect something with more than one move, or anything with a closed fist. Bumping is also probably not a factor. Is it just a strange wind up for a traditional handshake, or does he expect the (slightly more intimate, it seems to me) one where you're sort of gripping each other's thumb areas? Also: should the hands be brought together in a quick percussive motion, or smoothly (to me the fact that the handshake seems to require a "wind up" indicates the former)?

I'm honestly asking for help here, not for you to describe your favorite novelty greeting.

kthxluvDanbye!!! XXXOOOXXX

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Just roll your eyes if anyone tries to do anything other than a traditional handshake. That way they feel stupid.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

You can always just cut off your hands.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, seriously, NOBoDY wants to touch a STUMP.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Just out-do him with some incredibly fancy handwork that he can't keep up with. Preempt his non-traditional handshake.

― Dale the Titled (cprek), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

spit in your hand.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

SPIT IN HIS HAND

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

WHUP OUT TEH SHLONG!!!!!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Too much?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i always feel self-conscious when doing any hand shaking/dapping/etc.
Traditional hand-shaking seems too formal, like I'm on a job interview. All the other new-fangled versions seem too hip, too forced. I usually start giggling.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Not enough.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

When he swings his arm towards you, clasp his hand. If he pats you on the back, pat him on the back. If he kicks out his right foot and stands there balancing on his left, tap his outstretched foot with your right foot, then step back onto your right foot when he does and kick back with your left foot. IT'S NOT THAT HARD, PEOPLE.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't know you were a Shriner, Dan.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I a Shriner or am I Play? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

five months pass...

Hey the bartenders in jamaica would do this all the time! It was great! you do have to make a little 'paaahhhh' sound when you do the exploding though.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 8 November 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Bowling night is a veritable encyclopedia. Each team has its own dap. I used to be on a squad where we'd bash forearms a la Canseco/McGwire. Now it's a two-fingered tap into the open palm of the dap-ee. It USED to be accepted that the fist-bump was ONLY offered as a "shake-it-off" gesture following a blow, but lately I see these young punks doing it after a STRIKE! WTF???

― briania (briania), Monday, 8 November 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate this kind of stuff. I'd rather stay in my apartment than have to engage in non-traditional hand-shakes.

― Rockist_Scientist (rockist_scientist), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 02:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't even especially like traditonal hand-shakes.

― Rockist_Scientist (rockist_scientist), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 02:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I hug people. It disarms them and it can be really amusing =)

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

DOOD BRAH THIS THREAD IS TIGHT, YO

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Man-hugs are the best/worst - start with the handshake, move in close, slap the dude on the back with your other hand. Suitable only for friends you haven't seen in months.

Traditional handshakes suck when the other person grabs your fingers and you can't get proper strength in the grip.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm mostly a clasper - ie standard shake then other hand embraces partners hand. I don't know why. I love a good hug, man or nonman, but I don't like the patting thing men do to try to decrease it's hug status - it's like they're trying to burp you.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 03:31 (twenty-one years ago)

seven years pass...

I think about this a lot

― ASPIE Rocky (dayo), Sunday, 13 November 2011 21:09 (fourteen years ago)

there's that one where you lock thumbs and then can transpose into a traditional handshake

― ASPIE Rocky (dayo), Sunday, 13 November 2011 21:09 (fourteen years ago)

non-traditional handshakes are really like chess moves or dance moves or gymnastics or wrestling moves, so many variations

― ASPIE Rocky (dayo), Sunday, 13 November 2011 21:10 (fourteen years ago)

http://pretprieel.nl/pictures/futurama_bender_handshake.jpg

...I tried so hard to find an animated gif of this :(

― Trayce, Monday, 14 November 2011 11:22 (fourteen years ago)

it's like a dance u got to just sense how ur partner's gonna go

― ₪_₪ (darraghmac), Monday, 14 November 2011 11:27 (fourteen years ago)

two years pass...

Bro fist???

― how's life, Friday, 6 June 2014 09:40 (twelve years ago)

there are three people in the world besides me who know this one. it's not executed perfectly but not bad for only having practiced it a few times

http://instagram.com/p/ob-EVjizVT/

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, 6 June 2014 10:24 (twelve years ago)

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