DISASTER FLIRTING

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If this goes on any longer I may have to ask the person out. And it's a sort of past drama potential for weirdness or tragedy very very high kind of thing.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Ask her out.

Wait, tell me the whole story, THEN ask her out.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Ronan, this happens to you every week.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a long story. Which begins with an all too short story.

No it doesn't! Nothing ever happens to me! I just have random crushes mostly.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Hm, starting a thread about it merits telling the whole story, after which most of us will invariably tell you to ask her out.

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I am pretty amused by that!

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Amused by the fact that much of ILE is more romantic than they will admit?

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

If I tell you all then I'll have to admit I started this thread to myself. But I will. In a second.

(amused by the idea that people think I have a dramatic love life)

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

People are easily bored and usually interested by the "romantic antics" of others.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

If you don't believe me, I'll tell you about my workplace sometime.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I believe you, but I'm bored, so tell me about your workplace.

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Ronan, you sound so Jon Williams!

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Ouch.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

At least 5 times each month (Jan-now): "Do you have a girlfriend/are you a virgin/have you ever fucked before?"

-----------

Everyone barring the bosses after I show up in the Ghanaian counterpart of Hotstars holding hands with a friend, resulting in my being referred to as her partner (b/c they don't know who I am but don't care because slander laws seem to be negelected here):

"Hey Barima! We Saw you in Ovation Magazine!..with your GIRLFRIEND! Hee hee!"

"Do you know A***** P***?"

Me: "Of course I do, why do you think we were pictured together?"

--------------

Most intrusive interrogator: "I really need to get a man this weekend. I want a kiss. Just go for his lips and CHEW."

Me to most intrusive interrogator, yesterday: "Why do you talk about my sexlife all the time?"

Her: "I'm a virgin."

Me: "...Ah."

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

hush up, I like Jon. He actually posted a post once that consisted merely of the word "ROFFLE" and a picture of him. I can't argue that.

Ronan, for fuck's sake, tell us all the story already so we can order you to do our bidding.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I imagined this thread would be a knockoff of the Flirting While Driving thread from yesterday, and would be all about people flirting during volcano eruptions, tornados, etc.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

c'mon ro! ask the girl out!

― geeta (geeta), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post: That was to martin.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Pleasure her orally, THEN ask her out. If it all possible, wear a sombrero.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I imagined this thread would be a knockoff of the Flirting While Driving thread from yesterday, and would be all about people flirting during volcano eruptions, tornados, etc.

It would be awesome if there were people permanently frozen in flirtatious poses in the waste of Vesuvius.

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Or better yet, someone fingering somebody.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

If I was discovered frozen for all time knuckle-deep in a vagina... well, I'd be dead so it doesn't matter, but imagine the smirks on the archeologists' faces.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

a metaphorical volcanic eruption

― A Nairn (moretap), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

If it all possible, wear a sombrero.

Hence "fuck washing a hat?"

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

The number of potential frozen poses involving sexual acts and Mt. Vesuvius is pretty funny... why limit it to one?

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't imagine the smirks because I'm too busy imagining a skeletal Vesuvius-era VengaDP fisting a skeletal chick.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

This isn't a Belle & Sebastian thread?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, ronan, get to it. if she's mean to you, i'll slap her unconscious when i come over in july.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow Andrew, you've made zombie-fisting into something twee and precious.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

off topic xpost - i really want to visit accra, but between stories of barima's co-workers and my friend's relatives i'm rethinking it!

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

hey skeletor, get it right, zombies don't come from volcanos

― A Nairn (moretap), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

OH MY GOD RONAN PLEASE TELL US YOUR STORY BEFORE THESE PEOPLE CONTINUE WITH THEIR ZOMBIE FISTING FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD TELL US THE STORY.

― allyzay, Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.georgevasilakos.com/hello/zombie.jpg

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Zombiest.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

(that was to A Nairn).

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I dunno how they turned into zombies... They started as dead folk petrified in volcanic rock.

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I am the anti-Midas; everything I touch turns to GAAAAH!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I was just trying to be funny with the Jon Williams insult, tell us your story Ronan!

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Shit, Lauren, I've been meaning to start a Ghana thread since you asked back in March!

(Hint 1: start it for me, thereby forcing me to contribute. Hint 2: come over at X-Mas or whenever I'm here after the summer)

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, and make sure there's some zombies in it too.

― A Nairn (moretap), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

that is is the saddest goodbye kitty ever. (upthread)

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost)

― A Nairn (moretap), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry I was eating.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't worry, Nairn, I'm a regular moonwalking zombie.

Haha, I was about to say "99 posts and a Ronan story ain't one."

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope you weren't eating dead flesh.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry I was eating.

Did you find a sombrero?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I think there's dead flesh in the tacos at the mexican place near me.

― A Nairn (moretap), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.zombiejuice.com/

"web's favorite zombie" is an interesting concept, though there's no choice for fingering...

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

So ok we've known each other for about 3 years, when we first met it was sort of instant attraction and we got together, it was great, exciting and stuff. Anyway it shortly went kind of wrong, she made some iffy excuses about not wanting a relationship but we still kept hooking up for about 7 or 8 months.

Eventually we stopped that and just became good friends, no conscious talk of stopping or becoming good friends was had but we got along fine, and we've been getting along fine since.

Until, say, the last 6 months. We've been getting along alot better, recently, just generally. We talk about writing and things alot tho', which can be confusing cos it's hard to tell sometimes if we like messing with each other and being competetive or if we just should have had sex a long long time ago and put an end to all the constant tension which may still go on when we are old and grey etc.

Anyway in the last 6 weeks or so she's been texting or emailing me, and the emails have started to become just conversations, back and forth, for ages, like 20 or so on Sunday, or about 19 this evening. Flirting and all that sort of thing. We do see each other in person regularly aswell.

It's weird, we both have alot of time stuck in computers at the moment with it being exam time (or essay time for me). Anyway I think it seems like something should happen but I don't know, maybe we are just good friends, or maybe it is just the constant recurrence of the initial time we liked each other, which may be gone forever, I don't know.

Also I should have been fired from ILX for not calling this thread flirting with disaster.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Part of me feels I should only go forward.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 8 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i have been in this sitch on a few occasions: ie. i snogged girls/had mini-relationships with and then parted but stayed in touch and had the chance (well, possibly) to get back with them later. the first 2 i did nothing about it, the third i did and have been going out with the girl in question for over 2 1/2 yrs. just ask her, meh who cares? college will end sooner than u think.

x-post: that plan is gud.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

who said anything about college!

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Kilian you are jeopardising the "safety of telling internet mentalists your problems" rule!!

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

(uh, sorry man i've been drinking vodka and orange all nite!! mods change my post please in some subtle way!!!)

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

haha no it's totally cool, I was only messing!

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Ro, wait til end of exams, then make sure she goes to every end of term party you attend, find a quiet corner and chat away, don't actually ask her out unless you feel the situation warrants it. Don't get into anything while inebriated (you or mutual, if she is, maybe some truths will come out).

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't get into anything while inebriated

bah!

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

IF SHE KNEES YOU IN THE GROIN RUN LIKE THE WIND

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't get into anything while inebriated

Barima, has the sun over there rotted your brain or something? He should be totally pissed.

Do it Ro. If she's awful then I will slap her too. Just think, Women Of All Nations will fly to Dublin to enact Vengence for you.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:47 (twenty-one years ago)

bah!

Datey Datington law #4 states that if you have a history with the romantic interest in question, inebriation is not a good idea.

Jess otm., Anna otm about my brane.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

At least that way I get to be pissed. I think I'll invite her to come to the night I DJ at. How scene.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:53 (twenty-one years ago)

You got a great car
Yeah what's wrong with it today
I used to have one too
Maybe I'll come and have a look
I really love your hairdo yeah
I'm glad you like mine too
See where looking pretty cool
Will get ya

So what do you do?
Oh yeah I wait tables too
No I havent heard your band
'Cos you guys are pretty new
But if you dig on vegan food
Well, come over to my work
I'll have 'em cook you something
That you'll really love

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been looking for a name for this, and this is a good one

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

'The Dandy Warhols' is a good name, now?

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:56 (twenty-one years ago)

'disaster flirting'

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

It's kind of redundant.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:58 (twenty-one years ago)

sometimes it does work though

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

but then it usually bites you in the ass

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"timebomb flirting"?

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, getting kneed in the balls is a definite disaster while flirting.

TS: Knee in the balls vs bite in the ass.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, but it was only a disaster after i had slept with her.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Disaster Flirting could be both a film and a movie genre. ILX could concoct a hell of a story using just the two upfront/unsexy propositions threads.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

In fact, film a series of short vignettes based on the threads and you're gold.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

meanwhile I just got a message on my phone saying "AH GERARD, COME HOME....OR PHONE HOME, PLEASE"

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

If she can't get your name right, there's not much hope, really.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think it's her. Should I ask out the other person?

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, if she's already pissed, scoot over there, pronto!

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

She sounds like she'd like some company.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd exercise caution. i'm envisioning screaming kids and an angry bailiff in the background at gerrard's house.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

She sounded kind of gravelly and broken by life.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Uh oh uh oh uh oh oh no no

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

that's the impression i got. you don't need that, buttercup.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

One disaster is enough for any boy.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I figured Ronan more for Bubbles actually, besides you and Buttercup share hairstyles.

x-post - not if it's good enough for the movies, son.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread has given so much. I am indebted.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Feeling's mutual.

When I write my future bestselling romantic disaster novel/autobiography, I'll be thinking of you guys.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

THE CLIFFS OF MY EMOTIONS BY BARIMA N

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's like I lived through it all" - Ronan Fitzgerald, Dublin Times

"Better than a kick in the balls" - Strongo Hulkington, Seattle Weekly

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 12 May 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

So, did you do it yet?

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 13 May 2004 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Not yet, I'm not going to anything suitable yet. I'll find a time.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 13 May 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

This story is a thing of beauty and wonder. Do not let some prick filmmaker turn it into a wacky comedy.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 13 May 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Invite her to your next DJ gig, play the most incredible set ever including her favourite record no matter how awful it is. When she comes to talk to you afterwards say "I do it mainly to attract cute girls" and see how she reacts.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 13 May 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Also she is sending you 19-20 emails a day, she is either:

1. In love with you, in which case make the sex with her.
2. A terminally lonely, obsessive, multiphobic mentalist who will run a mile at the first sign of real commitment. In which case send her a link to ILX.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 13 May 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

now? have you done it now?

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 13 May 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

not every day, just all day every few days for the last 2 weeks or so, you have to understand it's like email/reply/email/reply so it's conversation. erm, by email.

x-post: not yet Mark! but wait there until I do.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 13 May 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

ok.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 13 May 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

This story is a thing of beauty and wonder. Do not let some prick filmmaker turn it into a wacky comedy.

*contemplates whether or not to hit the save button*

*pauses*

*closes final draft*

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 13 May 2004 16:55 (twenty-one years ago)

IF SHE KNEES YOU IN THE GROIN RUN LIKE THE WIND

Surely you mean "HOBBLE LIKE THE WIND"?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 13 May 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

Ronan what happened?!

I want you to send her an email saying "Do you want to come around to my place and cuddle in bed with me? I think it'd be really fun."

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 06:29 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG I so want to send that to someone but have absolutely no candidates to choose from.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

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