Friends at work

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As i've been considering a change of job (i.e. one failed interview so far) this has been on my mind a lot.

Do you have *real* friends at work? Or are they just people you'll have a pint with after work and never talk about anything other than the usual trivia? ok, so much of the time we talk trivia on ILE, but there's also a lot of candid personal stuff too.

We often jokingly say things like, "well i'll only have a half after work, as i'm meeting my real friends later". but it's not really a joke -- or that's the way it feels now.

― Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

new "white rabbits" answers.

― Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

work and social are completely seperate for me. i prefer it that way. never the twain etc etc

― gareth, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What Gareth said. I have three or four people who I would like to continue to see if I changed jobs, but basically they're work is separate. I read an article which said that you can roughly divide people into two categories, analogue people and digital people.

Analogue people have many of their best friends at work and see then all the time out of work. They often behave emotionally and over- react during a 'bad day at the office' because they're very bound up in what friends think of them, relationship issues etc

Digital people are often 'task' rather than 'people' people and have few close friends at work. They tend to worry less about bad stuff which happens in the workplace, as they have 'real life' to go back to at 5.30pm.

I'm digital!

― Dr. C, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A stray 'they're' appeared in the second sentence. Sorry

― Dr. C, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A stray 'they're' appeared in the second sentence. Sorry.

― Dr. C, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think I have a bit of both. I tend to make my friends at the stuff I do *for* work, as opposed to *at* work. Friendships with work people from the office aren't often struck up until after someone leaves, unless an editor goes freelance. Then I won't see them for dust due to competition issues yet I'm not the type who's actively like that.

― suzy, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's like, taking sides: friends or acquaintances...Once you leave a job, it's rare if you actually keep in touch. There's always a chance that you might make a good friend at work, which would be nice.

― james, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm a digital person. Thogh I wish the definitions were switched as Analogue is far cooler than digital. God bless analogue.

― james, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Some of my best friends are people that I've worked with in the past or work with now. I think this boils down to a more fundamental question (which I'm sure we've done before) about the nature of your job. I would always try to work somewhere where I enjoy the company of my colleagues as well as the actual work itself. It's a pretty simple distinction to make - if you work in a bar or a record shop, etc, etc, you're always going to have more fun than if you work in an office - well, that's what I think anyway.

One of my favourite bits in "Generation X" was always the phrase "air family" used to describe the shallow (non)relationships of people in a work environment who would never normally be friends but have to get along. I've been stuck in places like that before and I wouldn't want to do it again.

― Andrew Williams, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My actual work is pretty mundane, but the people I work with are fab. In fact, having been through a pretty rough time over the last few weeks, I realised that it's been the people I work with (and have previously worked with) who have got me through all the crap (along with a few other gorgeous friends :). I would go for good workmates over an exciting job every time! Makes all the difference for me.

― julia, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Whilst I was working at the university the summer before the one just past, I made a really great friend who I still see and go for a drink for each time I go back home. In my current job, there aren't that many people my age but I am friends with the girl who is my age in the office. It also helps that we're both Thee Office Temps. And also, the friends I make at work I often end up telling more to than I can tell my "real friends", them not being involved or having any issues. I can tell my friend here things I could not tell anyone on here. It's so nice to have a fresh perspective. However, we've never really ended up going drinking or anything. She appears not to be a fan of pubsXoR.

All round, our office is pretty friendly. I wouldn't like to work somewhere with a bad working atmosphere which is what intimidates me a bit in my search for something else. Especially somewhere more corporate. Ulp.

― Sarah, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd love to have really top mates at work, but I always seem to fuck up professional friendships. I'm too keen, I try too hard, and then at the first sign of trouble I clam up, don't go out, sit at my desk and wish I was one of the popular kids. Sad but true. It's mainly because, unless someone is new to the area, the people you meet tend to have all the friends they need and you're only going to penetrate their ring (sorry) if you're something really special. That's when the pressure gets to me. I end up coming across a bit weird. Which couldn't be further from the truth. I'm Normal Boy (a superhero who gets out of breath climbing stairs, forgets he's left the pasta on and occasionally pisses off his nearest and dearest through being a bit selfish and moody).

― Mark Casarotto, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

One very good friend at work and that's it. I dispise many of my co- workers, sadly...

― Dark Eyes, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's a particularly odd inbalance because of the amount of time one spends at work, compared to socialising with *real* friends. I think I'm digital, yet I've been in one office nearly 5 years: had a 2-year fling with the boss, my sister has worked here, one of my best real friends now works here, I've lived with someone (other than the fling) who worked here. It swallows my life, yet I go home and don't care about these people - I care more about what I read here and I've never met most of this crowd. Koyaanisqatsi I reckon.

― chris, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i have a couple that i'd continue to see if i left here, and that i'd be sad to leave. but i could always meet them up the pub at a later date...

― katie, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

chris and katie -- quite agree. first the time thing was what made me think about it. i spend a good deal of my waking life with these people, yet i just never seem to be as close as you'd expect in such a situation. it's not exactly a WWI trench, but you do expect something, don't you?

Nonetheless, there is a small group of people that i'd see at the odd pub gathering if i did move.

― Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I get my friends to come and work with me.

― Nick, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I was going to say what James said.

― Sean, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My small crew at work doesn't hang out after it, but we all have the same sense of humor and there are one-off things -- we end up going to shows, out to dinner, stuff like that. It's a good balance (and since everyone else has a spouse and for the most part kids to deal with, we probably couldn't do much more than that anyway).

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Because i spend all day at school and do plenty of work for that i consider it my work. I've got about five real friends and many more friendly acquaintances whom I wouldn't really miss at all.

― Maria, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I hang out with work people from time to time, but I wouldn't want to do it too often. It's not a personal thing cos they're all top people and when I leave, I'd like to see quite a few of them again. However, in terms of my current job I don't like the super buddy buddy clique thing that goes on and I also see that when certain people get too close, they take the professional relationship far less seriously and more fucking around goes on, and it's very noticable. So I stopped hanging out too much - it used to be a constant thing, I'd go to this ones house on this day, we'd all go out together on this day, I'd go to parties that this one threw the next week, we'd all play baseball together and go drinking, I'd call so and so on the weekends, this one wanted to set me up with her brother-in-law, blah blah blah, which was all really a lot of fun but it makes the work environment much worse.

― Ally, Thursday, 1 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

eight years pass...

So if you don't make real friends at work, where do you meet new people?

― calstars, Sunday, 20 June 2010 15:50 (fourteen years ago)

the gun club.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Sunday, 20 June 2010 18:38 (fourteen years ago)

three years pass...

I just had a friend at work, someone I trusted, fuck me over in front of management and some peers. Your co-workers are not your friends.

― calstars, Friday, 2 May 2014 13:17 (eleven years ago)

To put it succinctly, there are no "friends" at work.

― calstars, Friday, 2 May 2014 13:17 (eleven years ago)

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