nothing to say. and no way to say it.

duuuuuuh...i likes stuff.

The Seinfeld solution:

Stop having sex. Unless you are a woman (which I know you aren't) in which case start having sex.

I really sympathise. I was like that a while ago (posted threads about it, even) and now I'm not, and I can't actually work out now I got from A to B. Tidying the house up helped though.

y'know tom...i do think you're onto something with the tidying. my "personal space" at work, at home...is just a sty right now. and you know: space affects personality, etc. i just don't even feel arsed to do anything about it when i get home from work at night, and the vicious little cycle continues. i don't know how to break it.

I'd recommend to continue talking / writing, no matter how stupid. In an ideal word, continual practice will inevitably lead to improved results. If you babble, it will come. It's like exercise, innit? (I'd like to say I'm not only the president, but my own crippling bouts with self-doubt leave me staring slack-jawed at the television, hands clutched around a Playstation controlled, trying desperately to go five-hole on Dominic Hasek.)

I was in exactly that position and it had got really out of hand. Basically what I did was get Isabel to come up and help with it and took her out to a nice meal and her favourite day-out-place in return, and made sure I worked as hard as she did to get the place nice. But that's a resource you don't neccessarily have.

Jess you are surely tired and/or stressed. You know on computers when it says "application runs in background", and you can work while it's running but it slows everything down and causes glitches — well, what emotional jess-application is currently being required to run on background? The energy it takes to move eg anxiety off the front page can be considerable, esp. over extended time.

eg not worrying 24-7 abt my parents = major drain on instant-access memory, this year, I have noticed.

Brilliant trick my friend R showed me re tidying. Look at your room as if it was a stage-set (she is a theatre designer) in a scene from the story of your life. What does it tell the cosy front-row observer? If you don't like it — eg four-foot "collection" of old pizza boxes — then dispense with it. Archives are not clutter. Overlooked clutter = a snapshot of the bits of your mind/soul you are also choosing to not gaze at, or notice, or acknowledge.

Nick: the Seinfeld method is obv. not accurate, case in point: Tim Finney.

But he has yoof on his side!

I don't believe that theory anyway. An abundance of sex hasn't made me any smarter.

But if it were withdrawn suddenly, who knows what might happen?

That's true, I suppose I could always get even dumber.

fat = good for yr brane (indeed, fat = important carrier of information rd body, so is PART of yr brain)

huge reserves of fat >>> enormous brainpower
+
huge reserves of fat >>> celibacy in domain of hardbody skinny-fascist overlords

Hence, lack of sex = you are smarter

QED hurrah

i suspect you've just been reading too much fatnick. the constant streams of IR's do tend to dumb you down after a while - i got over this by reading a big load of DAVID FOSTER WALLACE who can but inspire you to new heights of vivacious verbosity.

If you can get someone to navigate you round cleaning, that helps, and makes it more fun. Lixi needs to navigate me whilst cleaning my room else I just degenerate. I must say that I often have the same feelings as Jess - actually, most of the time I feel like how you described. My job is essentially brainless, never causing me to think. I could spend my time trying to educate myself but I don't. I'm trying to get past this by writing some more. I'm writing to my blog more (whoop de flipping do!) and I'm trying to make a start on some music writing. To be honest, the thought of it gives me the fear, which is why no Essex Green/Moldy Peaches diss/wuv haf been produced just yet.

But still, it's a start. My blog is good because it's no pressure. And I'm also trying to make an effort to stay in touch with people on email. If you fancy sending an email please do. It doesn't help that in this board are some of the most articulate, intelligent and funny people about in my opinion and sometimes I feel myself being a little lacking.

AW, wuvvly.

It doesn't help that in this board are some of the most articulate, intelligent and funny people about in my opinion and sometimes I feel myself being a little lacking.

Let the record show ;-) that in my utterly unhumble and totally arrogant opinion that both Sarah and Nicole in particular underrate themselves as posters and as people entirely far too often, and that they are Good Folks who I am very happy to call friends, and that I'm still surprised Nicole puts up with me. :-)

Nicole, yes. Sarah, no - she thinks she's it. The above comments were clearly made in order to garner praise.

(It's OK Sarah, I know that under it all you are a gibbering Manics fan wreck - I saw your 'are you mentally ill?' scores)

Nick, please see here.

I don't take orders from RARE EGG STEALERS.

Blimey it's Barry Sheavils!

This has been happening steadily to me for a couple of years and is getting worse instead of better with time. Cleaning doesn't help, though. At all. It just ends up giving me a physical manifestation of my blankness.

tired yes. very much so. and constantly it seems. also plagued by...outside worries. which might not be appropriate to discuss in a public forum. which are eating at me, and will not even be...resolved...for another week and a half. but i didn't want to mention them regardless, because this is a larger trend.

starting my blog up again has helped too somewhat. (confession time: i re-started it just so that "special someone" might get a peek inside the noggin.) but so often it feels like spitting into the wind, or off a cliff. i'd be lying if i said i wasn't hoping for an audience for these thoughts, no matter how inane they might be. (the thoughts, the thoughts.)

also contributing: lack of real-time stimulating conversation. i've mentioned this to others before, but...IM's are very cost-effective, but a really emotionally/intellectually deadening way to keep up relationships (especially romantically.) no one to talk with about art, life, etc. on a reg basis, face to face = stagnation, no matter what.

plus: filthy conditions, general apathy, soul-crushing battles with bueracracy at work, recent extended poor self-image, terrorism paranoia, everyone hates me, guess i'll go eat worms blah blah...

Mitch - This is the first time I've been used as a case in point for anything, and I'm not sure whether to be pleased or horrified.

Jess - good luck getting your voice back. If it's any comfort, I've never found you to be inarticulate. I imagine your condition has from time to time afflicted a lot of people here - including myself - without you being fully aware of it as well.

Jeps, jeps, jeps! (I am singing that). I want to soothe you but I feel guilty and self conscious b/c I am so deliriously happy that I make people want to puke and I nearly have to punch myself in the face.

If you would like to know my secrets I will happily tell. Otherwise just tell me to shut up, because everyone knows I like it.

jess, now I know exactly why I said what I did about you on that IL* favourites thread. This is so me, it's scary.

Actually, I didn't consider it worth mentioning before, but it's kind of a "funny" thing that I too once caused a fuss in another online community by treading on the same sacred cow you did - also without malice. Tell me, do you have incontrovertable proof of your father's identify? I mean, I've had long lost siblings pop up before.