Disgusting Corporate Ads

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Corporate Apologias

If you watch programs like NBC's Meet the Press and ABC's This Week, you of course have noticed that the commercials sandwiched in the midst of these shows have a much different character than those for Dharma and Greg or Just Shoot Me. These ads are for scary ConHugeCo.-style corporations like GE or Archer Daniel & Midland, and they actually aren't so much advertisements than heavy-handed apologias for these corporations' role in every last scrawny aspect of our lives. Not Socialist Realism, not Capitalist Realism – it's Globalist Realism.

One particularly sickening example is a thirty-second spot relating just how wonderful Philip Morris was for providing Kraft macaroni and cheese for Kosovar refugees. Not only do they have the nerve to milk the genocide angle (implicitly if not explicitly), there's a brief scene where the refugees gratefully lug around large boxes with the Kraft logo digitally superimposed on them -- the wretched of the earth become the willing foot-soldiers of globalism, perhaps the creepiest capitalist fantasy outside of Ayn Rand I've ever witnessed.

A Wall Street Journal article about the ad which revealed that, as Carrie McLaren put it: "the production costs of this commercial alone dwarfs the amount Philip Morris spent on actual food donation." Jesus.

What are some particularly self-serving corporate ads that have raised your ire? (Surely there have been plenty of those as of late in light of 9/11.)

― Michael Daddino, Friday, 2 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Private Eye has been keeping a gd record of crass and clumsy press releases etc. that reference 9/11. My favourite:

"Now that the world is getting over the initial shock, and the war against terrorism has begun, what now for bridal retailers?" (Editorial, 'Bridal Buyer')

― Andrew L, Friday, 2 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've been a little unnerved by the subtle pro-consumption messages that have appeared on a number of ads I've seen.

From a car ad: "Keep America Rolling" - i.e. buy our cars and save the world

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 2 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"In other news, dog bites man." -- mark s, from some other thread.

― Sterling Clover, Friday, 2 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yeah, duh, ALL commercials' underlying subtext is that buying things is good IN GENERAL, and this specific product's kind of fun so why not? but tying sports sedans or fucking macaroni and cheese to the sudden death of 6000 people (and the slow death of who knows how many more, Over There) - well hell I wouldn't have put it past them but i did sit up and notice.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 2 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

pfizer or glaxo, one of the pharmaceutical behemoths anyway, placed a full page ad in the NYT only a few days after the 11th which began something like, "We don't make a pill that gets rid of heartache, but until we do we offer our condolences..."

it was one of the most wretched things I've ever read.

― fritz, Friday, 2 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The MCI "freedom to choose" ad that's been airing locally coz they're competing over local long distance.

― Sterling Clover, Friday, 2 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

For some reason this doesn't really bother me. Yes it is jackassish to spend more on the commercial than the donation but if the commercial is the incentive to make the donation it's better than nothing. And for pete's sake, does it matter what brand macaroni and cheese the refugees are eating? Does it seriously irritate you that the boxes with food have Kraft logos on them? I see no relevance whatseover. If globalism can be helpful then it is not PURE EVIL.

― Maria, Friday, 2 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I get a kick out of those psychiatric drug ads that proliferate these days:

"Do you find yourself feeling blue and hopeless lately? Take Prozac!"

― Kerry, Friday, 2 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the xenocal ads are particularly emotive. I don't think I have seen antidepressents hawked on TV, I'm only going to take them ifCher is on the infomercial anyway

― Menelaus Darcy, Friday, 2 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Where's Gary Condit?

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Friday, 2 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yes maria, it does irritate me (even though i'm not from the US and have never seen said ad). product placement is bad enough, but product placement in a refugee camp is just fucking sick, quite frankly. using footage of these poor people to flog your gloopy crap is just disgusting and i can only be glad that i am thousands of miles away having a good old rant about this, rather than actually sitting in front of a TV set showing this. talk about insult to fucking injury.

― katie, Saturday, 3 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i quite like phillip morris - they kept me alive during uni with mac cheese and malboro.

― Geoff, Saturday, 3 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

seven years pass...

http://commercial-archive.com/n1rv4n4g8/2006/april/creamsicle.jpg

― lol (roxymuzak), Sunday, 22 February 2009 12:22 (sixteen years ago)

jesus

― "olympics rings" (special guest stars mark bronson), Sunday, 22 February 2009 12:29 (sixteen years ago)

Luscious, smooth, sweet and fun. These are just a few of the words we used to describe our new Vanilla Orange Sherbert Creamsicle. These words also aply equally to America's 2005 Olympic Rhythmic Gymnastics Team and the beautiful young ladies that comprise it. In responce, Breyers has created a flavour inspired by the sassy metallic orange leotards of our young feminine gymnists who are eagerly busting their fresh asses to make every American proud. And of course, our RSG themed Creamsicle is as fun to eat as the girls are a pleasure to watch! So come join in on the action. All proceeds to sales from the Vanilla Orange Sherbert Swirls line go to help sponsor our young ladies in competition against other rhythmic gymnists from around the world.

― ledge, Sunday, 22 February 2009 12:36 (sixteen years ago)

WTF? This guy (it has to be a guy I think) is obviously a pedo. Perhaps this was meant as one of the following:
1) Satire about our obsessive fear of pedofiles and child moesters
2) A parody for other pedofiles that was only meant for the underground
3) A malicous attempt by a pedo or otherwise demented person to mess with people's minds. Hey - it worked.

― ledge, Sunday, 22 February 2009 12:52 (sixteen years ago)

No way that ad is for real, got to be a parody.

― Tuomas, Sunday, 22 February 2009 12:59 (sixteen years ago)

Yep.

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/weblog/comments/4129/

― StanM, Sunday, 22 February 2009 13:05 (sixteen years ago)

(oh, that's where Ledge got that comment)

― StanM, Sunday, 22 February 2009 13:05 (sixteen years ago)

"One particularly sickening example is a thirty-second spot relating just how wonderful Philip Morris was for providing Kraft macaroni and cheese for Kosovar refugees."

http://www.altria.com/images/logo-HomePage.gif

― harry s tfuman (and what), Sunday, 22 February 2009 15:07 (sixteen years ago)

As God as my witness, I saw a cooking spray commercial the other day that ended with the tagline "Pam Helps You Pull It Off."

― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 22 February 2009 18:27 (sixteen years ago)

five months pass...

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl0/0/4445/04_2008/%5Bcreepy%5Dloves-baby-soft-ad-c1976.preview.jpg

― "he said...all things passantino the night" (omar little), Thursday, 23 July 2009 00:10 (sixteen years ago)

How Not to Advertise on the Internet

― I am moving on baby, I am moving on (Pancakes Hackman), Thursday, 23 July 2009 00:21 (sixteen years ago)

Perhaps it's not quite in the spirit of this thread, but there was a commercial for Metamucil that featured the slogan "Gussy up your insides" that disturbed me on a profound level. (Post script: They later changed it to "Beautify...")

― Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Thursday, 23 July 2009 00:22 (sixteen years ago)

I thought this revive would be about the Sprite blowjob ad.

― Beanbag the Gardener (WmC), Thursday, 23 July 2009 00:22 (sixteen years ago)

o_O

― "he said...all things passantino the night" (omar little), Thursday, 23 July 2009 00:24 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/20/sprite-blow-job-ad-banned_n_240851.html

― Beanbag the Gardener (WmC), Thursday, 23 July 2009 00:26 (sixteen years ago)

Oh, I thought it would be about the Burger King blowjob ad:
http://www.beneaththebrand.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/burger-king-blow-job-ads1.jpg

― jaymc, Thursday, 23 July 2009 03:58 (sixteen years ago)

one year passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49fqlyPBeiA

think this is the shittest ad i've ever seen. what kind of gigantic wanker is this aimed at?

― I see what this is (Local Garda), Saturday, 2 October 2010 12:36 (fifteen years ago)

Fucking Tories, obv.

― Already WSed last summer (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 October 2010 12:36 (fifteen years ago)

yeah otm...city boy sort of i guess. but god...even the tedious criticism of "everyone out for themselves" has a cameron feel to it.

― I see what this is (Local Garda), Saturday, 2 October 2010 12:45 (fifteen years ago)

More like 'A movement' amirite?

― Chewshabadoo, Saturday, 2 October 2010 13:02 (fifteen years ago)

this ad with gorillaz on it......omg, THEY ARE THE SHITTEST BAND OF ALL TIME.

― I see what this is (Local Garda), Monday, 4 October 2010 12:47 (fifteen years ago)

seven months pass...

It cannot be hidden on the Eric Clapton thread revival.

Behold.

It's real, BTW.

I'm not kidding, IT'S REAL.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 12 May 2011 20:46 (fourteen years ago)

lol those are so terrible

its a chris ware ripoff rite???

― funperson (Lamp), Thursday, 12 May 2011 20:49 (fourteen years ago)

did Clapton okay this??

― wanking on the moon (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 12 May 2011 20:52 (fourteen years ago)

It's two Argentinian comic artists desperately trying to be Mr. Ware, but it's not Ware himself.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 12 May 2011 20:53 (fourteen years ago)

too busy fundraising for the Nat'l Front iirc

― american thinker (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 12 May 2011 20:54 (fourteen years ago)

four months pass...

http://www.tyson.com/Promotions/~/media/Consumer/Promotions/Header.ashx

http://www.tyson.com/Promotions/Anytizers.aspx

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 22 September 2011 16:43 (fourteen years ago)

six years pass...

motherfuck these GRAMMERLY ads

― brimstead, Friday, 29 September 2017 04:25 (eight years ago)

wrong thread prob, abuse of ilx likel

― brimstead, Friday, 29 September 2017 04:26 (eight years ago)

got gasoline the other day @ Cumberland farms & noticed their horrifying hashtag... #gotmyCumbys

― johnny crunch, Friday, 29 September 2017 15:50 (eight years ago)

who is "s"

― Marcus Hiles Remains Steadfast About Planting Trees.jpg (DJP), Friday, 29 September 2017 15:52 (eight years ago)

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