YOUR SECRET YUPPIE SHAME

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I admit it - I lust after furniture, menswear, electronics, and motor cars. I enjoy dandyish and explicitly metrosexual pleasures when and where I can find and afford them. I decry the state of my wood floors and take to them with exotic waxes and treatments. I enjoy reading biographies of rich and successful individuals. I crave international travel and decent drycleaning services. I enjoy nothing more than staring enviously through the windows of other people's apartments and noting the finish (or lack of) on their automobiles.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Japanese food should only be served on boldly-designed and logistically unsound dinneware, shot through with the light only crystal can provide.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

this is afflicting me more and more lately. right in step with the final years of my twenties.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

ugh, me too!

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i'be always liked The Blow Monkeys actually

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Scandinavian design.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

we're all honquistadors.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I patronize the new Starbucks down the road -- the one the entire neighborhood fought tooth and nail (and lost, obv.) to keep out.

― Aaron A., Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

you know you're a yuppie-in-training when: you're willing to pay the $20 more to fly on an airbus jet because the last time you were shoehorned into a boeing 757 you couldn't move your arms at all.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

and I thought Americans were larger than Europeans!

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"Working out to Big Black? Again?"

http://www.iskon.hr/2003/09/12/0509007.17.jpg

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

i am starting to think neitzche was wrong about the botched and bungled, we're a lovely bunch really.

― mullygrubber (gaz), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Gaz, I must recommend you my masseuse. She goes by "Phoenix" and she has magic, magic hands.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Self parking is a filthy business.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Still, I suppose it's better than using public transport. I've gone through 10 pairs of white gloves on BART this year alone.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

And no Wi-Fi in the tunnels? For shame!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

FUCK YOU YUPPIES. I AM GOING TO THROW BRICKS AT YOUR SUVS.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I enjoy shopping at banana republic, etc. (but only clearance!)

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

you know you're a yuppie-in-training when: you're willing to pay the $20 more to fly on an airbus jet because the last time you were shoehorned into a boeing 757 you couldn't move your arms at all.

seriously, that's six hours of my life i'm not getting back and it led to a migraine that lasted well into the next day. i want some comfort, dammit.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I HAVE AN SUV

― TRON FIGHTS FOR THE USERS (ex machina), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

i buy a fair amount of work clothes at yuppie establishments. but when I hang out with REAL yuppies (and I know several) I am reminded that I am not one of them.

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

all over the yuppie shame, thanks.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost:

oh no, don't get me wrong, I empathize with you, JBR. I'm just sorta surprised that the European airplane manufacturer has larger seats (maybe they're just better at playing to us Americans?).

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean them knowing their customers (American airlines) better than Boeing would maybe be a reason why they're beating the pants off the latter?

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I say you're a yuppie when you go for business class or work out how to scam upgrades. A yuppie in training would so not sweat an extra $20.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

what if you accept upgrades/business class for your business travel but always fly coach on vacation?

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

that's just sensible

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

@d@m we have a room dedicated to massage in our luxurious beach suburb abode (this is true in fact)

― mullygrubber (gaz), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

staring enviously through the windows of other people's apartments and noting the finish (or lack of) on their automobiles.

why are these people keeping cars in their apartments?

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

BIG apartments

― mullygrubber (gaz), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

like cameron's dad in ferris bueller?

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Kyle, this thread is here for you if you need it.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

my apartment is too shitty for me to be a yuppie

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I say you're a yuppie when you go for business class or work out how to scam upgrades. A yuppie in training would so not sweat an extra $20.

what if you've been used to taking the bottom-line cheapest flight your whole life because that's what your parents always did and then in your early/mid twenties you lived like a broke-ass backpacker? it's kind of a revelation when you realize "oh wow, you actually DO get what you pay for and even though i'm not rich by any stretch i don't have to be one of the riff-raff forever!"

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

i like fine breads and cheeses, it's no secret.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Amst, that reads like a Cole Pole lyric.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Cole Porter, I mean!

("Cole Pole"?)

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

yuppies are fall into debt trying to finance their image, living beyond their means, blah blah blah american dream &c. &c. &c. &c. &c.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

being a gourmand does not make you a yuppie.

x-post.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

being rich isn't one of the prerequisites for being a yuppie. see: new york city.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

pilates/hotties &c.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi gygax!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey Kyle and gygax, last week I went to the worst yuppie-ish bar/restuarant, just off of Grant. It was like some Parisian brasserie that had been imported to SF in its entirety and it was full of horrible people drinking wine and being assholes. Do you know where I'm talking about?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

cafe claude?

xpost:
I’m drinking a soy latte
I get a double shotty
It goes right through my body
And you know I’m satisfied

I drive a mini cooper
And I’m feeling super-dooper
Yo they tell I’m a trooper
And you know I’m satisfied

I do Yoga and pilates
And the room is full of hotties
So I’m checking out the bodies
And you know I’m satisfied

I’m digging on the isotopes
This metaphysics shit is dope
And if all this can give me hope
You know I’m satisfied

I got a lawyer and a manager
An agent and a chef
Three nannies, an assistant
And a driver and a jet
A trainer and a butler
And a bodyguard or five
A gardner and a stylist
Do you think I’m satisfied

I’d like to express my extreme point of view
I’m not Christian and I’m not a Jew
I’m just living out the American dream
And I just realised that nothing
Is.what.it.seems.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

yuppies are cool though because they spend a lot of money and they support certain economies singlehandedly as a demographic.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Cafe Claude.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I've only been there once. It was okay.

good lord those are the worst madonna lyrics ever

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Have you not been to "London Wine Bar"? This is apparently a London Wine Bar transported to SF in it's entirety, but filled with asshole american yuppies instead of english ones.

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

that place is very very old... apparently like 80 years old or something? downtown happy hour crowd FWIW.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

This question/proposition is alien to me.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 53 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Being a yuppie isn't so much what you earn though its what you choose to spend it on.

― christhamrin (christhamrin), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 05:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes

― jim wentworth (wench), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 05:15 (twenty-one years ago)

duh shopping at Century 21 /= working at Century 21 obv.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 05:16 (twenty-one years ago)

duh whole point of thread obv.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 05:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm kinda a yuppie, but not really. I used be a proper yuppie scumbag when I was in Toronto. I bought nice clothes from boutiques, went to cocktail bars/lounges, occasionally ate at restaurants with minimalist interiors, and *gasp* I drove a BMW 325. Then I got fed up, sold the car and left the country.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 07:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Infinite Cow!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

don't call names

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I have bought clothing and ties as well as a belt from here. I also get the catalogue.

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

i shop at wh0le foods, but otherwise, no - my car is shitty, most of my furniture is still student/first post-collegiate job level cheapo.

― gershy, Monday, 19 March 2007 03:27 (eighteen years ago)

Yuppie is other people

― Hurting 2, Monday, 19 March 2007 03:30 (eighteen years ago)

Right now the contents of my fridge include a sixpack of McEwan's Scotch Ale, a red and a white wine (opened) that were each over $10, goat chese, stilton and something called "ptit basque," and baby bella mushrooms, and I have a *real* espresso machine and a burr grinder, so I guess you can color me yuppie.

The bottom line is that if you're talking about it within the context of gentrification, EVERY college-educated non-local in any gentrifying urban neighborhood is a yuppie, at least in the eyes of locals. I think it originally was mostly applied to higher-earning professionals like lawyers and stock brokers, but I could be wrong.

― Hurting 2, Monday, 19 March 2007 03:41 (eighteen years ago)

-expensive cocktails
-monthly bill for health/narcissism regimen
-preppy/metrosexual men

― get bent, Monday, 19 March 2007 04:00 (eighteen years ago)

-expensive cocktails

yeah, i got over that a few years back - now it's "gimme a whiskey, and make it snappy"

― gershy, Monday, 19 March 2007 04:05 (eighteen years ago)

All my toiletries are Molton Brown (ok, apart from toothpaste), and I own over £2000-worth of shoes. Ahem.

― peteR, Monday, 19 March 2007 08:18 (eighteen years ago)

i want to buy a house, and a toyota prius. but i dont make enough money. i also live in a cheapish apartment and still have student/thrift store furniture. i'd say if i ever made about $10-15k more i'd get pretty yuppie-ish.

― homosexual II, Monday, 19 March 2007 12:59 (eighteen years ago)

I draw a mental line between yuppies who use their money to follow their passions and tastes and yuppies who just buy all the *right* things to buy. It's probably rockist of me to assume there exists such a line.

― Hurting 2, Monday, 19 March 2007 13:05 (eighteen years ago)

a sixpack of McEwan's ... so I guess you can color me yuppie.

Ahahahahaha - yuppie? Not in Britain mate.

― Chewshabadoo, Monday, 19 March 2007 13:10 (eighteen years ago)

Well yeah, but imports are imports.

― Hurting 2, Monday, 19 March 2007 13:22 (eighteen years ago)

I have a leather sectional sofa that is rarely sat on.

I subscribe to Martha Stewart Living, Blueprint and Real Simple (the shame)

― Ms Misery, Monday, 19 March 2007 13:29 (eighteen years ago)

One of the shitty things about the U.S. is that certain quality goods that would be considered staples elsewhere (decent produce, good beer, etc.) are luxury items here.

― Hurting 2, Monday, 19 March 2007 13:54 (eighteen years ago)

where are these places? I think most of the products we consume would be considered luxuries in the majority of the world.

― Ms Misery, Monday, 19 March 2007 13:55 (eighteen years ago)

Well most of the world is poor.

― Hurting 2, Monday, 19 March 2007 13:57 (eighteen years ago)

that was my point.

― Ms Misery, Monday, 19 March 2007 13:58 (eighteen years ago)

But in much of the *Western world* or whatever you want to call it, I think the standards of quality are much higher for food, at least for the middle class, than here. Where my wife grew up (Israel) for example, produce and dairy are cheaper and better on the whole.

― Hurting 2, Monday, 19 March 2007 14:02 (eighteen years ago)

That McEwans thing... is the funniest thing I have ever read on the entire internet!

I have a costly membership to an expensive gym (although get corporate rate through work), erm... once I bought some Clinique product (although it was discounted in TK Maxx!!), erm - I have an mp3 player (tho I bought it when it was reduced by £100..) er... bl00dy hell I really thought I was more of a yuppie than this! Erm! Oh gawd!! Actually I think the worst bit was when I spent £2.59 on a jar of anchovies. Although I DO love dem anchovies...

Hurting - do you mean like local produce etc etc

― Sarah, Monday, 19 March 2007 14:02 (eighteen years ago)

Oops - submitted too quickly. Yes - the fact you can get charged more for things that come locally than something shipped halfway across the world is pretty terrible, but I don't think buying those things makes you a yuppie - an "effing bleeding heart gruaniad reader" p'raps...

― Sarah, Monday, 19 March 2007 14:04 (eighteen years ago)

All my toiletries are Molton Brown

Problem with MB is that all the gaffs that like to think of themselves as fancy have MB stuff in the loos, and that kind of taints them for me.

― Mark C, Monday, 19 March 2007 14:07 (eighteen years ago)

Not only produce - any decent non-cheddar cheese is seen as a luxury, any decent bread that's not pillow-soft is seen as a luxury. Any non-crap beer is seen as a luxury (though that's changing).

England might not be as different from the U.S. as other countries - our food culture is descended from yours after all.

― Hurting 2, Monday, 19 March 2007 14:09 (eighteen years ago)

― peteR, Monday, 19 March 2007 14:23 (eighteen years ago)

What on earth *is* Molton Brown? there was a joke about it in the Guardian Guide this weekend that flew totally over my head.

― Masonic Boom, Monday, 19 March 2007 14:25 (eighteen years ago)

it's high end toiletries, basically. i would peg Kiehl's as the ultimate 'yuppie' bathroom product line. i'm more of a Trumper's man myself, but that's more "posh old man" stuff than yuppie i guess

― Rob Bolton, Monday, 19 March 2007 14:28 (eighteen years ago)

I misread this title as "Your Secret Yuppie Name." Like your secret porn name, only for yuppies. Mine is Florio Broadway. Better as a porn name than a yuppie one.

I don't think I can be a yuppie anyway, since I don't have a job. Not too professional of me.

― Fa Fa fa FA, Fa fa Fa fa FA Fa, Monday, 19 March 2007 16:09 (eighteen years ago)

Your Secret Yuppie Name

Mine is Anderson Alverston

― onimo, Monday, 19 March 2007 16:17 (eighteen years ago)

Alexandra Easton

― nathalie, Monday, 19 March 2007 16:17 (eighteen years ago)

Bryn Marmalard

― Ms Misery, Monday, 19 March 2007 16:18 (eighteen years ago)

Bryn Pepperidge!

Excellent!

― Masonic Boom, Monday, 19 March 2007 16:18 (eighteen years ago)

Quinton Pepperidge (no relation)

That McEwans thing... is the funniest thing I have ever read on the entire internet!

This is ale as opposed to lager supposedly... do they do an upmarket range, McEwans?

― DJ Mencap, Monday, 19 March 2007 16:34 (eighteen years ago)

Saturday evening in W'burg, there was this huge new SUV stuck trying to get over the snow and ice that was plowed around it. We couldn't figure out what they were doing, and after 5 minutes we went to see if they needed a push. That's when we saw 4 huge dudes sitting in the car, like idiots. WTF? Learn to drive your car or get your friends to push.

My secret yuppie shame is that we were trying to snag their parking space.

― Yerac, Monday, 19 March 2007 16:39 (eighteen years ago)

Bennett Buckingham. I think I like Florio Broadway better.

― Fa Fa fa FA, Fa fa Fa fa FA Fa, Monday, 19 March 2007 16:48 (eighteen years ago)

Not only produce - any decent non-cheddar cheese is seen as a luxury, any decent bread that's not pillow-soft is seen as a luxury. Any non-crap beer is seen as a luxury (though that's changing).

Am surprised to hear this - but non-cheddar cheese being seen as aspirational and "lifestyle"y is a bit of a step too far for me to reach, is it really that exclusive overall? I am assuming this wouldn't be the case in the major cities at least.

― Sarah, Monday, 19 March 2007 17:02 (eighteen years ago)

polyurethane condoms.

― g®▲Ðұ, Monday, 19 March 2007 17:34 (eighteen years ago)

Mark C: I do know what you mean, although there's less of that out in the sticks. I started with the black pepper shower gel stuff ages ago and it spiralled from there; it does still feel like luxury to me, although I suppose if it was everywhere I went then I'd start to feel less like that.

I also love MB stuff. The Black Pepper shower gel is amazing. My gf introduced me to that and now I have shampoo, gel, and eau de toilette also. It is so good.

― Ronan, Monday, 19 March 2007 17:38 (eighteen years ago)

Am surprised to hear this - but non-cheddar cheese being seen as aspirational and "lifestyle"y is a bit of a step too far for me to reach, is it really that exclusive overall? I am assuming this wouldn't be the case in the major cities at least.

In major cities you have lots of yuppies.

― Hurting 2, Monday, 19 March 2007 17:51 (eighteen years ago)

dont they sell molton brown at bath & body works now? hence, not yuppie no' mo'.

― homosexual II, Monday, 19 March 2007 17:56 (eighteen years ago)

Maybe I'm not as bad as I think, then, although the fact that they aren't yuppie isn't going to stop me buying their stuff, esp. Black Pepper anything. Ronan=OTM.

To be honest, I'm still amazed I got the grief for the toiletries bit of my admission, not the shoes part. Go figure.

― peteR, Tuesday, 20 March 2007 10:07 (eighteen years ago)

My yuppie shame: I find the original post quite beautiful. I decry the state of my wood floors and take to them with exotic waxes and treatments. Woah.

― anatol_merklich, Thursday, 22 March 2007 00:41 (eighteen years ago)

I own a Mac.

― Abbott, Thursday, 22 March 2007 02:22 (eighteen years ago)

I get ribbing about the espresso sometimes. But it's a genuine passion! I'm not trying to impress anyone by making frou-frou flavored lattes in my home, I just really love good coffee!

― Hurting 2, Thursday, 22 March 2007 02:23 (eighteen years ago)

I wish I was more of a yuppie. It would mean I would have more money.

― Abbott, Thursday, 22 March 2007 02:29 (eighteen years ago)

tea.. expensive tea.. i went to dean & deluca to try and get a box of mariage freres bourbon vanilla but they were out so i got russian chai with ginger/anise/cardamom, but now i still want the mariage freres.. will have to check this other fancy yuppie grocery store

― daria-g, Thursday, 22 March 2007 03:44 (eighteen years ago)

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