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Oh no I'm, fucked!

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I got in my first Real Relationship with this girl a few months ago (I'm 21). We moved pretty fast, we were spending every night together within a week or two of meeting each other. She is in love with me. I THOUGHT I was at first, but that faded about a month and a half ago. We started getting into really really stupid fights and I started to notice things about her that REALLY bugged me. I realized my false love for her was probably just due to the fact that she was my FIRST girlfriend.
So I broke up with her the other day and told her i didn't like the way our relationship was heading. She got pissed and e-mailed me the next night demanding to know more precisely why i broke up with her. I felt like a total asshole and fell in love with her again for about 5 hours, resulting in us getting back together. I came to my senses this morning and I am really kicking myself for being such a moron asshole and getting back together with her, because that really isn't what I want. EEP! What the fuck do I do?

― unknown, Wednesday, 2 June 2004 07:09 (twenty-one years ago)

thank the stars that at least you didn't get her pregnant

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 07:11 (twenty-one years ago)

end it, and this time mean it.

sounds like your concept of being 'in love' is a little sketchy to say the least.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 07:13 (twenty-one years ago)

most people's is

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 07:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll say!
"I fell in love with her again for about five hours"??!
just be honest with her and tell her that you aren't into it.
Having said that though, maybe you're a bit scared and aren't sure what you want. Maybe she's being too pushy and if you get her to ease off a bit things might look up?

― emjj, Wednesday, 2 June 2004 07:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Well maybe but being in love with someone again for a total of five hours after previously dumping them seems a little questionable to me.

x-post

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 07:21 (twenty-one years ago)

You're 21. There will be other loves. She will be pissed and hurt. Sometimes you have to wear this, especially if you've made a mistake or two. Its part of life really. I know that sounds cold, but what else can you do? DO NOT keep changing yr mind and yes/noing her, thats just silly.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 07:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, no matter what you think, she'll get over it too.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 07:36 (twenty-one years ago)

...and fucking hurtful.

xpost

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 07:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sensing that 'my first girlfriend' and 'i was in love for five hours' = "my first sexual experience made me feel funny in my heart"

― emjj, Wednesday, 2 June 2004 07:39 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah what trayce said. if she's really in love with you, and still wants an explanation, there's probably none you can give her that will truly satisfy her. she won't want to hear 'i'm sorry but i don't love you' but say it anyway if she asks why. be kind, but break up with her and mean it--cut off contact if she keeps bugging you to keep explaining. she'll get over it.

― sgs (sgs), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 07:42 (twenty-one years ago)

you fucked up by taking her back and no mistake. But fucking up is a big part of life, and so is the fact that a lot of things can be eisily confused with love. End it now. And next time dont go around looking for love, and don't sit around thinking how great it would be. just relax and let it happen. Once again, dump her and move on, life is too short. Plus dont feel too negative about this, life experience usually comes at a price. One last thing, she will get over it.

― lukey (Lukey G), Wednesday, 2 June 2004 09:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks everybody for the responses... it's nice asking strangers for advice because oftentimes they are much more blunt than one's friends.

Yes, I certainly have a very fucked up idea of "love". She doesn't even like most of the same music as me! (jk)

― unknown, Thursday, 3 June 2004 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

And holy cats, ipsofacto, don't rub it in!

― unknown, Thursday, 3 June 2004 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Just don't make the same mistake twice is all I'm saying.

Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 3 June 2004 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

We have all been there to some degree. It's all part of life. Be cool, don't say things you'll regret and let it go.

― jim wentworth (wench), Thursday, 3 June 2004 03:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Though make sure you get a farewell pop!

― Paul Kelly (kelly), Thursday, 3 June 2004 05:24 (twenty-one years ago)

please explain for me what kind of "pop' you are speaking ov

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 3 June 2004 05:29 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cynosure-publications.co.uk/acatalog/bottles-of-pop.jpg

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 3 June 2004 05:36 (twenty-one years ago)

What do I do?!

Grow up would seem to be an option.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 3 June 2004 07:41 (twenty-one years ago)

oh come on, sick. you were young, dumb and 21 once?
(er, nore sure how old you are at all...)
yes, he shouldn't have slept with her again, but haven't we all lapsed stupidly like that?
yeah, break it off, be firm but not mean, and you'll both eventually put it behind you. and next time, maybe judge more carefully about how headlong you want to dive into the relationship, and what kind of message it sends to her...

― paulhw (paulhw), Thursday, 3 June 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm 25. I guess, thinking about it, between 19-21 I was a complete and utter cunt towards most women I was involved with. I was gonna write a 'However...' sentence, but there's no excuse. I was a shit.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 3 June 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, at least you grew a brain right? :)

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 3 June 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

This happened to me when I was 16

― HAMBURGER NEURON GROUP (ex machina), Thursday, 3 June 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

what, you grew a brain? :)

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 3 June 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Propose to her.

― don (don), Thursday, 3 June 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Propose to her.

More like propose not going out to her. Love? Anybody who claims to be 'in love' for five hours is probably just 'in lust'.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 3 June 2004 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

probably?

I'm sorry, there's just no question.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 3 June 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Don and Sick OTM. Grow up and marry the girl.

― ___ (___), Thursday, 3 June 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Grow up, marry the girl, and get a mortgage! Preferably an endowment mortgage!

― Possibly Kate Again (kate), Thursday, 3 June 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)


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