The Shame Train

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I just came to work without going home last night!... How do I make them think I'm not a bad person? Febreze?

― andy, Thursday, 3 June 2004 16:14 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.homemadesimple.com/febreze/images/product/g32_product_xstrength.gif

?????

― andy, Thursday, 3 June 2004 16:15 (twenty years ago) link

Throw yourself into a fountain and apologize for being wet.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 3 June 2004 16:15 (twenty years ago) link

Where were you?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 3 June 2004 16:15 (twenty years ago) link

I told you to stop sleeping under those West Oakland freeway bridges.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 3 June 2004 16:16 (twenty years ago) link

So Febreze then?

― andy, Thursday, 3 June 2004 16:19 (twenty years ago) link

Buy some donuts for everyone. Then they'll forgive you for whatever filthy transgressions you drag into the office with you.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 3 June 2004 16:20 (twenty years ago) link

Actually somebody already bought donuts. So it would look doubly suspicious if I showed up with another baker's dozen.

― andy, Thursday, 3 June 2004 16:25 (twenty years ago) link

no-one is going to care at that place!

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 3 June 2004 16:28 (twenty years ago) link

go to a mall and buy brand new clothes. ive seen this done before. it probably would have worked on me had I not known all of her business beforehand.

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Thursday, 3 June 2004 16:31 (twenty years ago) link

throw up all over the watercooler.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 3 June 2004 17:40 (twenty years ago) link

How's that gonna make them think that andy's not a bad person?

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 3 June 2004 17:41 (twenty years ago) link

They will respect you if you talk about it on the internet.

― deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Thursday, 3 June 2004 17:42 (twenty years ago) link

The question is how to make yourself think YOU'RE not a bad person. Which you're not.

― Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Thursday, 3 June 2004 17:43 (twenty years ago) link

It's not so much whether you're a bad person as whether you're a malodorous person. Toothbrush, Febreze, and the ole' pits and ass, and you should make it through to the end of the day without giving major offence.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 3 June 2004 17:48 (twenty years ago) link

"Toothbrush, Febreze, and the ole' pits and ass" is giving me inappropriate fits of giggling.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 3 June 2004 17:50 (twenty years ago) link

I can see an alternate way of interpreting that which is makes for quite a comic picture.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 3 June 2004 17:52 (twenty years ago) link

get an office with a door. (trust me on this one.)

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 3 June 2004 17:53 (twenty years ago) link

Every time I read this title, I can't get "Love Train" out of my head.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 3 June 2004 17:56 (twenty years ago) link

I imagine ILXors dancing on said Shame Train like in the closing scene from Last Days of Disco

― Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Thursday, 3 June 2004 18:03 (twenty years ago) link

Dancing on the Shame Train = fidgeting nervously and trying to avoid eye contact with the other passengers.

― Scott CE (Scott CE), Thursday, 3 June 2004 18:23 (twenty years ago) link

I fear I am malodorous... I smell like a beached whale and look like a wretched sex offender.

― andy, Thursday, 3 June 2004 18:24 (twenty years ago) link

That's how I always dance.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 3 June 2004 18:25 (twenty years ago) link

I'm thinking of the title in far ruder and rawer ways than anyone else has proffered, actually.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 3 June 2004 18:25 (twenty years ago) link

The Stain Train?

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Thursday, 3 June 2004 18:53 (twenty years ago) link

"Now serving #45... please avert your eyes as you cum."

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 June 2004 20:10 (twenty years ago) link

go home and change

― dan (dan), Thursday, 3 June 2004 20:12 (twenty years ago) link

The real answer to this question is to somehow wrangle a working situation in which you work across the street from your house. Also, create an atmosphere of fear within your workplace that if you choose to show up at 11am, they daren't say a word to you anyway. That way, you will always come to work fresh and clean.

And by "always" I mean when you aren't still drunk from the night before and feel it is "your right" to go into work wearing practically your pajamas and without taking a shower at all. That's abit of a horse of a different color though I reckon.

Several of my old coworkers used to actually keep spare work clothes in their desk or in the office closets just for this situation, FWIW.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 3 June 2004 20:12 (twenty years ago) link

three years pass...

haha

― Surmounter, Wednesday, 14 May 2008 16:38 (sixteen years ago) link

Surmounter's post is brilliant.

― bamcquern, Wednesday, 14 May 2008 17:03 (sixteen years ago) link

one year passes...

thanks, i like to think i know how to spin a post

― yeahhh (surm), Friday, 5 March 2010 01:55 (fourteen years ago) link

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