We just got rear-ended.

I wouldn't worry, you made a mistake and you realised it and your reason for doing it was admirable, just the way you dealt with it wasn't.

x-post

i guess i feel like i most need some kind of tongue-lashing though, for doing what i did. i shoved her pretty hard, and i'm a big guy and she must have been terrified. i really need to think hard about why i did that. and how i can make sure not to do it again.

also this one dude came buy and kept bugging us about how he ran an autobody shop. he kept interrupting my mom when she was talking w/the cop and i told him (politely but firmly) to buzz off.

and came BY

i can't type for shit, sorry

ad*m i'm ashamed to say i don't even know where you are living now. you were in chicago at one point right?

I'm in the Bay Area, but I visit Chicago a lot.

tho what the cop told you is pretty fucked up; "if i rear ended you at 40mph, and then told you my brakes were out, and you shoved me, i would shoot you")

Obv you can't undo it so I would just let it go and let your mom resolve the accident business. Probably it is extremely unwise to offer additional apologies or mention it again as that just invites a lawsuit.

i have two feelings: one is the sense of shame over having done something wrong; the other is worry that she'll still press charges (though she declined tonight of course, and thus there was no report). the two feelings are sort of conflicted: i feel like i really do deserve anything coming to me, the other part dreads--naturally--any kind of punishment or further drawing out of the situation.

do you think of yourself as someone with a bad temper, or is this a first?

there weren't really any mitigating factors, if you discount the accident. i was just really angry. it happened about 5 seconds after the accident. i hope she accepted my apology, but i'd understand if she didn't under the circumstances.

hopefully the woman you shoved is worrying about why the f**k she was driving without brakes and how close she might have come to killing someone, rather than starting a lawsuit for a shove.

I would not write, or attempt contact w/this person, b/c it could prompt them to press charges, and the last thing you want is to be charged by this dangerous, irresponsible driver.

You probably have her details if you exchanged stuff following the crash so maybe give her a call (I wouldn't write), saying that you're just checking to see that she's alright and apologise again. I think maybe telling her how out of character it was and how badly you feel, might help defuse whatever she feels about you. And maybe be as fair as you can when submitting your bill for damages - that should ease your guilt somewhat and soften the blow for her.

Also, it's nearly impossible to predict how we will act under severe stress, so lighten up on yourself. The fact that you're reflecting on it all and have awareness of the effects and implications of your actions, makes it highly likely you won't react like this again.

If she is not thinking of pressing charges, I don't think apologising again would make her change her mind. And if she is considering suing you, well apologising again can't do any harm and if you were taken to court, would only reflect well on you.

2. Get a lawyer. Your insurance company is not your friend, and things will get more unpleasant faster for all parties if you try to do this on your own or to just forget about it.

3. File a complaint against the cop.

No I didn't, but I definitely considered making him. He made me drive cause HE doesn't like to drive in the city. Fucker.

(seriously, I don't know what the difference is)

xpost nope??

here's what I mean?

It's be the opposite, NA.

A soft turn is one where you're barely turning. So, for example, if you're driving north on Damen and you want to go northwest on Milwaukee, that's a soft left. A hard left would be onto North.

(Now suppose I was going south on Damen and wanted to go northwest on Milwaukee, that's presumably a hard turn, too -- but it's even harder. Is there a name for this?)

*looks at map*

well it depends on which road you're on.

xpost I think it must've been M/N/D and I was on Milwaukee instead of North or Damen which I usually come down on, so it didn't look familar.

jaymc - Jim Magas likes to call M/N/D "the crotch."

Amateurist shoved someone! I'm shocked. Here's the thing: you're tall, so she was probably scared in the moment. But after even five seconds of you being anything closer to calm and normal (plus with your own mother there), I'm sure she put it down to stress -- hence the not-pressing-charges, no? It sounds like you're looking for some sort of atonement on this one, and the source is going to have to be your mom. She was there, and she's known you all your life; if anyone's going to have any insight on why that happened, it's her.

Seriously, though, she just wandered out of her car and was all like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just wasn't paying attention." Like in a pleased-with-herself Star Jones type of voice.

I've never gotten into an accident while driving in Chicago.

see I told you I was confused!

okay then, I could either have made a hard left onto Damen or a soft one onto North. I figured that making the hard turn would be the illegal one, but thinking about it now, it makes sense that the soft left would be illegal since you have to cross over two traffic streams.
Did I mention that this never would have even happened if I wasn't driving around forever trying to find a parking spot? I had just given up and was just going to drop my friend off and wait outside.

http://www.terraserverusa.com/GetImageArea.ashx?t=4&s=9&lon=-87.6778022854154&lat=41.9105077050772&w=600&h=400&f=Tahoma,Verdana,Sans-serif&fs=10&fc=ffffffff&logo=1&p=2:-87.68356434:41.90857226

damen/north/milwaukee is the worst intersection i know. i've heard horror stories of pedestrians being hit by cars, by flying motorcycles, etc. if you're on damen then i believe milwaukee is the soft left, north is the hard left. btw.

I just got rear-ended the second time in a month. Just had the bumper replaced, just got over the back pain from the first one. Both times it was a young woman talking on a cell phone.

not the same woman both times

is it possible each one of them was talking to the other one at the time tho

they're all out to get me so...