The bedroom conversations of Donald Rumsfeld

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Donald Rumsfeld has admitted that his wife often needles him about the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden - often just after they wake up.

"When I walk out of the bedroom in the morning, my wife frequently rolls over and says, 'Where's UBL?'" he said, referring to the spelling "Usama".

Mr Rumsfeld insisted the search for Bin Laden was as concentrated as ever.

Speaking to sailors and marines aboard the USS Essex in Singapore, Mr Rumsfeld did not reveal how he responds to his wife's teaser.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40235000/jpg/_40235429_essex_b203_ap.jpg

"And then she rolls out of bed entirely and I GET BUSY!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 June 2004 16:14 (twenty years ago) link

Actually the headline is great:

OBL stars in Rumsfeld pillow talk

Since I can read that as "ODB stars in Rumsfeld pillow talk."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 June 2004 16:23 (twenty years ago) link

I thought maybe he calls his cocker Usama Bin Laden.

"Mrs Rumsfeld, are you ready to blow UBL out of his dank, hairy cave?"

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 4 June 2004 16:25 (twenty years ago) link

hey, hey, OBL, how many more mornings will you bother rumsfeld?

crosspost

yuck

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 4 June 2004 16:28 (twenty years ago) link

Speaking to sailors and marines aboard the USS Essex in Singapore, Mr Rumsfeld did not reveal how he responds to his wife's teaser.

Why did the term "pegging" just leap to mind?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 June 2004 16:35 (twenty years ago) link

WAIT, THIS IS SERIOUS?

Utterly ridiculous.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Friday, 4 June 2004 16:47 (twenty years ago) link

Mr Rumsfeld did not reveal how he responds to his wife's teaser.

"Sweetums, we know UBL is out there somewhere, and we also know a few places where he isn't. But you know and I know that that leaves a heck of a lot of places to look.

"I can tell you, honeybuns, that we're doing everything in our power to find UBL and bring him to justice. Believe you me, I want him just as badly as you do. If I could make UBL appear just by snapping my fingers, would I do it? You bet I would!

"But we're all grown people here and we know that the tooth fairy doesn't exist. Believe you me, we've looked - hard - and all the available intel backs me up on that. So, let's all just wait and let our forces do their job, and stop being such babies about this, shall we?

"Now, roll over."

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 4 June 2004 16:48 (twenty years ago) link

I know sailors are supposed to be all "any port in a storm" and such, but I imagine the menta l image of Mrs. Rumsfeld smacking Donny around with her aging teats while shouting "WHERE'S USAMA BIN LADEN?" and pounding at his ass with a strap-on would pretty much annihilate any vestiges of libido they might have.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:09 (twenty years ago) link

Oh god I feel like I need to bathe now.

― Jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:14 (twenty years ago) link

HAHAHAHA I just looked at that picture! Apparently he rims her until she shuts up.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:15 (twenty years ago) link

Ah, sweet visions.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:19 (twenty years ago) link

Sweet like chocolate.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:19 (twenty years ago) link

that's her on the left:

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:21 (twenty years ago) link

(insert caption here)

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:22 (twenty years ago) link

("insert")

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:22 (twenty years ago) link

And on the right, the illegitimate child of Flip Wilson and Grace Jones.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:22 (twenty years ago) link

(This thread pretty much cements my place in Hell, I think)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:23 (twenty years ago) link

Even I'm amazed!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:23 (twenty years ago) link

I think my compassionometer is broken. Either that or I hate Rumsfeld more than I thought. Or both.

(Regardless, I shall still make a "Donald Rumsfeld gettin' down on the nappy dugout" comment.)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:26 (twenty years ago) link

Donald Rumsfeld gettin' down on the nappy dugout

Looks like he roughed her up a little. Weird that he'd send the Missus to commiserate.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:53 (twenty years ago) link

"Next time, dear, I'll tell Donald to lay off the crack pipe."

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 4 June 2004 17:54 (twenty years ago) link

Wow. Michael wins. Or does hstencil?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 4 June 2004 18:13 (twenty years ago) link

that poor lady in the hospital sure doesn't.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 4 June 2004 18:14 (twenty years ago) link

I MEAN THE G.I.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 4 June 2004 18:15 (twenty years ago) link

five months pass...

Perhaps the bad taste thread of the year, but we still have a ways to go.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 13 November 2004 16:42 (twenty years ago) link

This thread is only second to the one about Albania for making me laugh out loud.

― Earl Nash (earlnash), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:13 (twenty years ago) link

one month passes...

If there are no other challengers, this is the victorious 'Bad Taste Thread of 2004'

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 8 January 2005 19:04 (twenty years ago) link

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/6800276/

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 8 January 2005 19:35 (twenty years ago) link

"Yes, this is where the sex ranch used to be."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 8 January 2005 19:40 (twenty years ago) link

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