'unconventional' resumes: classic or dud

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see, because what i want to highlight now is the writing i've been doing, and yeah i'm picking a bad time to do it but oh well, but how do i put that front and center, ahead of the office jobs i've had that have been about writing in the beginning but have all devolved into spreadsheet-filling and 50-character limits?

― maura, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

not to mention the fact that whenever i write a cover letter it comes off all awkward and first-date-gone-wrong like ...

― maura, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You can create targeted resumes for different jobs, meaning that if you want to pitch yourself to employers that would value writing skills over spreadsheet stuff, just highlight all that and downplay the rest. Since you typically list employers in reverse chronological order, if your most recent jobs didn't contain this experience, you could create a section called something like "relevant job experience" and just focus on your writing jobs there.

― Sean, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Functional resume is no longer unconventional, but rather common and standard practice.

― Sterling Clover, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

One thing that has helped me a lot is to put an Extra Curricular section at the bottom... Companies that offer more interesting jobs are more likely to be impressed with something like this, than someone who makes themselves out to be a long colorless list of skills, and nothing more.

― Brian MacDonald, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cover letters. Christ. The college application essay of the professional world - it's all about how you sell rather than what you're selling. I'd rather write my own obituary.

Haven't cover letters become obsolete and antiquated? Please?

― David Raposa, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cover sheets should read like this:
Hello, I just thought I'd give you first dibs on the best opportunity to come along in quite some time. This is the sort of luck and serendipity that comes into our lives once in a blue moon and when the moment is gone, who knows when the next bit of good fortune will show up at your doorstep? Opportunity's knocking at the door. Opportunity's ringing the bell. Do yourself a favor and give me a job. Pay me a lot of money. I'd hate to walk out on you forever.

Included is my resume. Read it, if you must, but know that the clock is ticking, even as you read these words. Don't miss out! Act immediately!

― Nude Spock, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That would be the perfect cover letter for a job writing junk mail copy.

― Nitsuh, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nude Spock, will you marry me?

― Maria, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ned: and apparently for proposing...

― Sterling Clover, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

er ned=nitsuh.

― Sterling Clover, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why Sterling, I never knew you cared. :-)

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(Has anyone else noticed how Ned just pops up everywhere at the appropriate time? Must have a busy job)

― Graham, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Awww, the Nedster...

― suzy, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'M EVERYWHERE! I'M EVERYWHERE!

Suffice to say that 'relaxed' doesn't begin to describe the pace of my job most days.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Speaking of unconventional resumés, what happened about the badger-growling enthusiast? Did he get the job? Did he ever reveal whether this was indeed a reference to his sexual preferences? Etc.

― Rebecca, Tuesday, 6 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Satisfactory covering letter:

PLEASE GIVE ME A JOB!!! I WILL SHAG YOU!!!

Must be written by a female, must be immediately succeded by an interview which involves wearing a skirt, too much make-up and not saying anything remotely clever.

Another tip:- don't list your hobbies as "Picador and Opium Eater" as a combo, they can't win.

― chrissy, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

Oh, woe is me. Grumblegrumble...

more resume and cover letter advice please. I know it's dull but I'd love ya for it.

1)I hate all the Word resume templates. Is there a decent bit of (free?) software for mac that I can get?
2)I have done a mix of editing/film stuff and crap office jobs. The last year has been a bit heavy on the latter. How to bring the former to the fore?

Thank you SO much.

― adaml (adaml), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Functional, functional, functional

FILM POST-PRODUCTION EXPERIENCE
yada
yada
yada

OTHER EXPERIENCE
crap office
crap office
crap office

Make it clear and organized. "Oh, well, here is what we're looking for, and he's had some terrific crap office jobs to boot! Hire him!"

Can't help you with a cover letter, mine are always bleck-o-matic.

― Skottie, Wednesday, 1 October 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

print your resume on a slice of melba toast.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

My goal in life is to never write a resume. (I'll do applications or interviews)

― A Nairn (moretap), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm trying to think of what kind of printer would be able to do that. How thin can melba toast get?

― A Nairn (moretap), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Every so often I get called in to help look over some incoming resumes and years ago I worked at Kinkos typing other people's resumes, and after seeing enough crap resumes in my life I have a couple of suggestions...

Yes, you want to have different resumes for different types of jobs. More to the point, you probably want to have different resumes custom tailored for each job you're applying for. It's a lot of work, but any strategy that gets you out of the slush pile is a plus.

Do not list every job you've had since birth. Multi-page resumes are dud and are a fast-track to the dead pile.

Cover letters are a pain to write, but they exist for one reason only: that you can demonstrate the ability to write grammatically correct sentences that are spelled correctly. You would be surprised by the number of folks who can't.

1)I hate all the Word resume templates. Is there a decent bit of (free?) software for mac that I can get

Pretty much all "resume software" sucks. There's tons of other formats that you can use - just search on the web.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 2 October 2003 09:37 (twenty-two years ago)

six months pass...

"goal in life is to never write a resume."

hahaha

I just wrote a resume (At 3 am? yes!). And its great how completely pointless awards are, but how impressive they look when put together in a list.

Does anyone want to see mine, and make any suggestions? (maybe I'll just go to a career adviser next wedsday.)

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 8 April 2004 06:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm in the mood to do lots of things that aren't really all that difficult to do, but will look impressive on a resume

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 8 April 2004 06:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess I'll have to sleep first.

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 8 April 2004 06:42 (twenty-one years ago)

four years pass...

resumes = spite

― i'm shy (Abbott), Monday, 9 February 2009 20:57 (sixteen years ago)

I AM FALLING ASLEEP WRITING MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS

― i'm shy (Abbott), Monday, 9 February 2009 20:57 (sixteen years ago)

The are exciting but I've already DONE them, DUH I am a highly-motivated self-starter just look at me argh I can spell anything can we just get to the job interview? I am dazzling at those.

― i'm shy (Abbott), Monday, 9 February 2009 20:58 (sixteen years ago)

whine whine whine

― i'm shy (Abbott), Monday, 9 February 2009 21:00 (sixteen years ago)

"freaked out squares 1996-2001"

― max, Monday, 9 February 2009 21:00 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.barneysvideoresume.com/

― CaptainLorax, Monday, 9 February 2009 21:10 (sixteen years ago)

Accomplishments:
• Over 830 squares freaked
• Increased levels of blown minds by 13% in four-year period
• Stuck 3 points to the Man

― i'm shy (Abbott), Monday, 9 February 2009 21:14 (sixteen years ago)

rewrote the rulebook then ripped it up again

― Local Garda, Monday, 9 February 2009 21:19 (sixteen years ago)

this has reminded me that i should probably COMPLETELY rewrite my resume for the applications i'm sending out this week. sigh.

― Maria, Monday, 9 February 2009 21:30 (sixteen years ago)

expanded 1200 brainstates

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 9 February 2009 21:31 (sixteen years ago)

• Taken a bite out of the sun
• Drank the entire ocean

― i'm shy (Abbott), Monday, 9 February 2009 21:33 (sixteen years ago)

i keep revising my resume in the hope of getting even one interview...it's depressing.

x-post ran through forest without breaking twig
learned to listen, when others hear
developed a fondness for celtic mysticism

― Local Garda, Monday, 9 February 2009 21:34 (sixteen years ago)

learned to chant the heart sutra in japanese

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 9 February 2009 21:35 (sixteen years ago)

• fucked a giant donut

― i'm shy (Abbott), Monday, 9 February 2009 21:36 (sixteen years ago)

• posted it to youtube

― i'm shy (Abbott), Monday, 9 February 2009 21:36 (sixteen years ago)

gamerscore

― FADCFTMFW (cozwn), Monday, 9 February 2009 21:37 (sixteen years ago)

appreciated the value of money

― Local Garda, Monday, 9 February 2009 21:37 (sixteen years ago)

• Made a child cry in the grocery store when they looked at me

― i'm shy (Abbott), Monday, 9 February 2009 21:38 (sixteen years ago)

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