Orgasm vs Spiritual Enlightenment: An ILE case study

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Over 100 search results for "orgasm":
http://www.ilxor.com/searchresults.php?board=1&mode=threads&q=orgasm&titlepart=&name=&email=&username=&dateafter=5%2F2%2F00&datebefore=&catid=all

Just one result--from a most unlikely poster-- for "spirtual enlightenment":
http://www.ilxor.com/searchresults.php?board=1&mode=threads&q=spirtual+enlightenment&titlepart=&name=&email=&username=&dateafter=&datebefore=&catid=all

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 06:13 (twenty years ago)

spiritual enlightenment via orgasm = classic

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Thursday, 1 July 2004 06:16 (twenty years ago)

Your guru has conned you into letting him suck your dick, hasn't he?

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 06:19 (twenty years ago)

Heh heh: how about guiding me toward a spiritually enlightened orgasm?

― Evanston Wade (EWW), Thursday, 1 July 2004 06:19 (twenty years ago)

(nb: I did spell "spiritual" correctly when for my search)

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 06:25 (twenty years ago)

i'd rather have orgasms than spiritual enlightenment.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 1 July 2004 07:30 (twenty years ago)

shouldn't it be: orgasm=spiritual enlightenment.

― jesus nathalie (nathalie), Thursday, 1 July 2004 07:31 (twenty years ago)

Di: Yes, absolutely.
Nathalie: No.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 07:33 (twenty years ago)

the difference between orgasms and spritual enlightenment is that I know for sure that orgasms actually exist.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Thursday, 1 July 2004 07:36 (twenty years ago)

Another difference: Jenna Jameson does not reach enlightenment 20 times a day.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 07:40 (twenty years ago)

....on film.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 07:41 (twenty years ago)

TS: Spiritual orgasm vs non-spiritual orgasm?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 July 2004 08:00 (twenty years ago)

Sting to thread. he's into that tantric shit.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Thursday, 1 July 2004 08:09 (twenty years ago)

Tantric shit? Surely you're referring to Adi Da?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 July 2004 08:13 (twenty years ago)

whatever. he talks about having sex for 7 hours in interviews and stuff.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Thursday, 1 July 2004 08:17 (twenty years ago)

in interviews?!!!!?

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 08:19 (twenty years ago)

big deal though. who doesn't have sex for 7 hours?

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 08:20 (twenty years ago)

Are you saying you do? Blimey. Umm...

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 July 2004 08:43 (twenty years ago)

yeah. isn't it a shame no one will do it with me?

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 08:45 (twenty years ago)

... ooh look a fishhook just sailed right past my head ;P

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 July 2004 08:48 (twenty years ago)

seriously though, I'm not bragging, I just assumed nearly any man under 35 could go that long without a problem. Am I mistaken? This isn't the sort of thing I can really ask my male friends cause they'd just lie they're socks off.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:02 (twenty years ago)

Well, see, Sting's over 35 but he's got yoga hard-on superpowers.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:09 (twenty years ago)

You are mistaken.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:10 (twenty years ago)

Does he thrust faster than a speeding bullet? Are his buttocks stronger than a locomotive? Can his spunk leap tall buildings in a single bound?

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:11 (twenty years ago)

I think it's safe to say most men can't keep it up for 7 hours at a time, oops. maybe if they had them rubbers with the numby stuff inside, but who wants to have sex when they have a numb wanger?

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:14 (twenty years ago)

Sting later confessed that the "8 hour" sex-stints generally included dinner and a film.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:15 (twenty years ago)

he was banging the chick in the restaurant?

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:16 (twenty years ago)

Numb wanger = loss of sensation = loss of erection, surely?

Also WHAT WOMEN WOULD WANT A MAN HUMPING HER FOR SEVEN HOURS? "For fuck's sake, Sting, I'm trying TO READ!!!"

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:17 (twenty years ago)

Well ladies there you have it. I expect 200 emails by tomorrow afternoon.

xxpost

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:17 (twenty years ago)

did she go down on him in a theater?

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:17 (twenty years ago)

He dalso didn't describe it as "having sex" for 8 hours; it was "making love". Dinner and a film is foreplay, innit.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:17 (twenty years ago)

I'm assuming most women wouldn't last for 7 hours, either. The longest I've done it is maybe three hours.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:18 (twenty years ago)

Also WHAT WOMEN WOULD WANT A MAN HUMPING HER FOR SEVEN HOURS? "For fuck's sake, Sting, I'm trying TO READ!!!"

I usually just get "um, you think you can wrap this up soon?"

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:18 (twenty years ago)

Dinner and a film is foreplay, innit.

hahahahahaha, and dinner and a film=a pizza, a six pack, and a porno.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:20 (twenty years ago)

Also last night about the final thing I saw before I went to bed was a pic of the queen picking her nose on the noise board, and I had just eaten a lump of cheese (often do before bed to encourage great dreams) and then I dreamt that the queen was walking through Exeter with lots of Beefeaters and fell over and slipped and as she was slipping she shrank to a tiny tiny size and she accidentally fell into a cash machine that served coins rather than notes and she got stuck and someone had to press the buttons in a certain order to get her out and I held my hands under the cash machine and caugt the tiny queen in my palsm and then wandered aroudn Europe with her like a pet mouse.

I'm glad I got that out.

k thx bye.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:21 (twenty years ago)

"You've just been stung, baby"

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 09:22 (twenty years ago)

3 hours? 7 hours? You are freaks who have NO idea how to please women (except trudie Styler obv).

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 1 July 2004 12:06 (twenty years ago)

yes i do.

with this.

― AaronK (AaronK), Thursday, 1 July 2004 12:28 (twenty years ago)

What Mark, do you only please them once and then go back to watching footie?

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 13:11 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, cos if multiple orgasms aren't forthcoming at all times during seven-hour loveless fuckathons you must be a FILTHY MISOGYNIST PIG WHO LIKES FOOTBALL.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 July 2004 13:42 (twenty years ago)

Sting's seven hour sexual marathons probably include six hours and 58 minutes of begging though.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 1 July 2004 13:52 (twenty years ago)

Far better to fuck a girl for four minutes and then give her a bit of cake, I say.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 July 2004 13:54 (twenty years ago)

Oooh, yes please.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 1 July 2004 13:55 (twenty years ago)

well I took his statement to mean that it took us (y'know, me and my boy Sting) 7 hours to bring a woman to climax.
xpost after she gives you her cake you give her some of yours?

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 13:55 (twenty years ago)

if you're getting told "can you wrap this up please", you aren't doing your job properly.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 1 July 2004 13:58 (twenty years ago)

That came after she came 10 times and had to get to work, so let's not make sweeping statements.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 14:00 (twenty years ago)

So it's considered a bit rude to tell him "knock it off now, I'm getting bored", then?

xpost

― C J (C J), Thursday, 1 July 2004 14:00 (twenty years ago)

Orgasm then Spirts then Enlightenment

Sometimes Spirts then Oragsm then Enlightenment

If you start with the Enlightenment you usually can't be bothered to drink or fuck.

"knock it off now, I'm getting bored"

CJ, it is if you've got a nice book at hand and he rutting like a sweaty stoat trying to reach Nirvana. It is permissible, however, to say, "Darling , do you mind? You're in my light and this passage is particularly fascinating. Do you think you'll be at that much longer?"

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 1 July 2004 15:05 (twenty years ago)

What the heck are Spirts? I was, of course referring to spirituous liquors.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 1 July 2004 15:19 (twenty years ago)

What's an oragsm?

― C J (C J), Thursday, 1 July 2004 15:28 (twenty years ago)

It's hard to describe, but I could show you.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 1 July 2004 15:37 (twenty years ago)

Yes, well. I'm better at them in real life than I am at spelling them apparently.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 1 July 2004 15:43 (twenty years ago)

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:PeylL2D17doJ:www.sonrise.com/images/smiley%2520face.jpg

― C J (C J), Thursday, 1 July 2004 15:48 (twenty years ago)

Actually, now that I look at that post I see that the 'oragsm' was due to drinking beforehand. Tsk tsk.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 1 July 2004 15:53 (twenty years ago)

I prefer orgasm to spiritual enlightenment. Once one has achieved spiritual enlightenment, then that's done, it's over, you've saved the princess, etc. Achievement of orgasm doesn't presuppose a plateauing, a singular pinnacle reached. Once spiritual enlightenment is achieved, it's all just like "hallelujah I'm at one with the universe and shit" like from then on, whereas orgasm can lead to more orgasm and that to more orgasm ad nauseum til spurty euphoric infinity.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 1 July 2004 15:58 (twenty years ago)

Plus you can't spiritual enlightenment into a tissue.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 July 2004 16:04 (twenty years ago)

maybe you can't

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 1 July 2004 16:10 (twenty years ago)

who maybe can?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 1 July 2004 16:17 (twenty years ago)

http://www.kasterborus.com/tardis/4/tbwho1.jpg

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 1 July 2004 16:19 (twenty years ago)

His is blowin' in the wind

― C J (C J), Thursday, 1 July 2004 16:19 (twenty years ago)

Maybe the two go hand in hand...so to speak. I mean, could there *be* spiritual enlightenment without semi-regular orgasm? How enlightened can someone who doesn't orgasm regularly really be?

― Evanston Wade (EWW), Thursday, 1 July 2004 16:48 (twenty years ago)

No offense Evanston Wade, but I cannot bear the use of orgasm as a verb. It can be an adjective though, as in, 'Well doesn't she look orgasm today?'

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 1 July 2004 17:49 (twenty years ago)

TS: Orgasm as noun vs orgasm as verb

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 1 July 2004 20:27 (twenty years ago)

I choose orgasm as adverb.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 1 July 2004 20:28 (twenty years ago)

She was dancing so orgasm!!

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 1 July 2004 20:57 (twenty years ago)

Why don't you orgasm me, baby - literally.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Thursday, 1 July 2004 21:20 (twenty years ago)

TS: Orgasm vs. Wargasm

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 1 July 2004 21:22 (twenty years ago)

martin, you have just inspired the most disturbing images of Wolfowitz and co. in my mind. For the moment, I loathe you.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 1 July 2004 21:46 (twenty years ago)

Actually, I was talking about these guys.

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 1 July 2004 21:49 (twenty years ago)

Not much of a metal fan but thanks for helping to clear out the old psyche there.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 1 July 2004 22:26 (twenty years ago)

No problem.

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 1 July 2004 22:30 (twenty years ago)

"Wargasm, wargasm, 1 2 3/Masturbate, watch it on TV/Smutty bloody pictures, ecstasy"

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Thursday, 1 July 2004 22:40 (twenty years ago)

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