Passive aggressive housemates..

Then wait and see what sign she puts up next.

please don't use my pink breakfast bowl. The reason why I keep it in my
personal shelf is that I don't want to run around in the house searching
for it and then having to clean it up.

M.

referring to his magical bowl that was sitting amongst the other bowls, having obviously gotten very lonely and in need of company.

I don't doubt that it annoys her that I am sometimes kinda lax on cleaning up, but I am not any more so than they are, and at least I take out the trash. argh. This person, though, I suspect lots of things irritate her. People not behaving the way she thinks they ought irritate her, and in this category I include, let's see, religious people, quite a lot of celebrities, the American government, some of her fellow students, etc., etc.. She is pretty damn grouchy and is a workaholic too.

in my house, at the weekend onetime my dad put a note on some bottles of miller beer.

"These are not for Ronan"

However I added to it "because Ronan thinks only mum would drink bottles of miller".

Immature perhaps but I feel it was Dad who was "murked" in that case.

i'm going to torch it before i leave.

Kephm - the passive aggression or the overreacting? :)

xpost

It's my pink bowl, the only pink bowl in the house and always on my shelf!
It's apparently a problem for people to accept that I keep my dishes on my
shelf so everybody grabs what he/she needs.

Now you know how it looks, so next time you see it elsewhere but on my
shelf, why don't you put it back on it.

That wouldn't be a problem if you would have cleaned it up right away and
stashed it away neatly. But that's yelling against a tornado, so why bother.

m

To the house: My shelf is the middle one on the left side, right above the
dishes. Whatever is stashed there is off limits to the house.

It's possible that she just got motivated to keep the sink clean, and the sign is her way of saying something to the effect of "Yay! If we all work together and decide to keep this sink clean the way I have then our kitchen will be more enjoyable for everybody!"

I'm totally serious, by the way.

If she really is being bossy or whatever, tell her she can sublet somewhere else.

AS MUCH AS YOU WANT TO BE
A LITTLE POLICEMAN, YOU
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO GO
THROUGH MY PERSONAL CUPBOARD.

A few weeks later, I discovered he was using them to copy massive amounts of software illegally after hours, at work, with work equipment.

Recently it's been pretty good, though. Just last night I suggested to him that we have a "no festering" policy - ie we can't let the dishes just fester in the sink for days. It's not even that big an ask, anyway, as we own a dishwasher. He seemed pretty receptive to the idea. He seems to be genuinely disatisfied with the messiness (as I was, before I got on this cleanliness kick) and welcomes the opportunity to fix shit up.

I've also been trying to keep the kitchen really clean in the hopes that he'll follow by example. Although I am wary of cleaning up after him and him getting used to it. I'm not frustrated, but if I do start getting annoyed I'll have to resort to leaving "his" dishes to sit around while every other available surface will be spotless.

Funnily, if you'd asked me a few months ago who does more household cleaning I would have said him, for sure, and that I feel guilty for not doing enough work around the place. I guess I finally realised that making other people feel guilty is much easier than feeling guilty yourself. Cleaning the house can be a stress-reliever, too!

Jesus won't help when the bed catches fire and the house burns down and we're all stuck on the third floor because we don't have a fire escape.

yes, they are, as Tuomas correctly states, little things, but they are damn annoying.

Years before that I had a roommate who used the dishwasher once when we moved into the apartment and never again. Needless to say, the dishes were still in the dishwasher when we were cleaning up before moving.

This is why I don't use the dishwasher.

I do this. Its not laziness, its being economical with water, electricity and the bloody expensive dishwasher poweder.

I actually run it about 2-3 times a week but fucked if Im going to run the thing every night if theres one plate or something to wash - thats what the sink is for.

I'm a slob, and I'm reasonably sure one or 2 flatmates have got fed up and left because of it. Ive had the snide notes (after I one time left one bowl on the coffee table for a day or 2!?). Ive had the subletter move in and, after 2 days, rearrange my ENTIRE KITCHEN because she was "bored". I still can't find some things.

Then there's Mr "I didn't do it, it was dolly" deny everything. He's a spoilt brat this one. Used to be a very close friend, til we lived together - then I noticed all this suddenly-appearing mess - cig ash/burns on the carpet, an entire cup of coffee upended all over the floor via my PC speaker, a tomato sauce splotch. Bear in mind I dont eat tomato sauce, and when the coffee stain appeared not only was I not even in the city, I found an empty cup with driblles on it in the sink as well as this big fuckoff stain - and what does he do?

HE SWEARS BLIND HE DIDN'T DO IT. I mean... god, fine, have some accidents, just dont be an ostrich about it, youre 26 years old for christs sake.

We're still not really on good speaking terms anymore :(

The quotes were meant to emphasize that she very rarely did succeed in actually running the dishwasher and was too lazy to wash the dish or glass as soon as she was done using it. I'm all for running a full load in the dishwasher if you've got it, but piling it up a dish or glass a day over a week or two is nonsense, especially if you've got roommates who might also like to use the dishes occasionally.

i have found no way to generalize about whether it's better to live with friends v. strangers, i've had very good and very bad experiences with both. the thing that matters most is just to live with people who bother to clean up after themselves, if that's in place everything's easy. the fifth wheel with couples situation would be hard though.

Both my housemates are terrific, and there's no 3-person animosity at all. We're friends, but we get that we need each other's space as well? I can imagine how if you're already friend when you move in together, there would be pressure to hang out when really you just want to chill in your room.

Generally I'd always prefer to live with strangers, because then you can pick them, and you have some kind of choice about how much you become "friends" as opposed to strangers who live together. I'm a super control freak though, so I'm pretty glad I don't have to live with anyone except my o/h.

That said, I lived with my fiance and an old friend for a couple of years and it was pretty cool.

It's none of your roommate's business whether they are having their period or not unless they volunteer that. Going through the trash to find napkins then implying they will stay out of your way at "that time of the month" is creepy.

Can't wait until I can move away from these people.

like what good can that do to tell someone that

There is something more than creepy and abusive about someone who complains out loud that the apartment stinks like tuna fish when I dispose of my trash in a timely and sanitary manner. Like I'm being blamed for being human.

I was kind of offended when this lady I was subletting from put my garbage can outside AND put a sign on it that said, "THIS STINKS." (I forget what stinky thing was in it.) Even more irritating bcz I was living in an apartment in her basement but she just came down to watch TV & relax all the time in my tiny living room (because that's where she liked doing it before I moved in?), and the garbage had apparently irritated her while she was hanging out in my living space while I was at work. This lady was my mom's best & oldest friend, so I never really felt like I could say anything to her (like, 'hey try not leaving a P-A note, I'm anosmic') without hearing back from my mom about it.

uh. holy shit. i would be v pissed about my landlord hanging out in my apt when i'm not there. sort of against alot of rules (here at least). i would have flipped my lid, mom bedammed!

Man I totes we've just walked around naked til she stopped

Ha actually Steve that is what I ended up doing, sort of! Just chilling in like pjs of short shorts & a halter top – too immodest for her to be around. The whole scene was crazy tho. Crazy and fucking boring. She drove me to church and everything. If you are a young person trying to move away from your family & see the world, I recommend not moving into the house of someone who is more conservative and rule-oriented than your own family, who is also essentially part of your family. I am sure that would be obvious to anyone else (but rent was only $200/month!).

got home from work today to find an empty 2 litre bottle of tea and an empty plastic container of ham/turkey placed on the table where I place my mail. apparently he was upset about me not throwing them out right away (fair point) but has lost the power of speech.

this would also be the same roommate who has had an unidentified dessert item taking up a quarter of the freezer for the last 1.5 years (and being that it's from a shop in NYC, where he hasn't been in 3 years, it's probably much older). and has three full gallon bags of trash covering the house because he's too lazy to take them to the dumpster down the street even though he's on leave from work at the moment.

you should put your bottle and container on top of his trash bags

i put them INSIDE the trash bags which I'm now walking to the dumpster cuz I'm tired of smelling em!

taking his trash bags to the dumpster - not that's what I call passive aggressive

sometimes as i clean things i am filled with a righteousness above and beyond words.

self-righteousness and passive aggression have played pivotal roles in most apartment toilet cleanings imo

sometimes i go for the more mellow "perhaps i don't have to be angry, i am cleaning because i want this clean..."

Housemates who are also younger siblings bringing groups of friends home at 5am to drink and listen to music: what's the best way to deal with this? Last night wasn't the first time it happened: it happened last week and someone spilled beer on my turntables which I keep tucked away in our living room - and when I went through the next day the empty can was still lying on its side by the turntables (ie even if it had been completely unnoticed when it happened, nobody had thought to clean up before they left). I've told said sibling I'm applying for a council house, and I've already begun my application, but it's probably going to be a while before I'm offered a place anywhere and I don't have the funds to go for a private let by myself. I can put up with food being eaten and dishes piling up, and I've even got used to the omnipresent stench of cigarettes and hash in our living room that I now just avoid, but him and his friends are ripping it right out of me. He obviously doesn't realise but when they're arriving without any drink or food but taking ours and graffitting our sofa, they're ripping it out of him too.

When we first started living together he was seventeen and I was twenty and I was willing to accept that he might have gone a bit wild without parental supervision and so on, but he's now nearly twenty himself and I can't make excuses that he's "a wee boy, really" any more.

Beat the shit out of him. That's the fraternal way.

with siblings it should be easier, you don't need to maintain the veneer of politesse that you do with people outside the family. go ham on him

move out and live with strangers. learn how to feign interest in conversation first though, and how to feign pleasure at others feigning interest in yours.

i live with 'the younger brother' and he's brilliant, if a little messy.

Beat the shit out of him is the right option.

i've got really neat in the last year or so and messiness infuriates me. especially when it becomes cyclical...like "you come home each day to a clean kitchen and leave a dirty one" style. it's extremely hard to bring this stuff up in a non passive aggressive way, not least cos in a flat of three people it's nigh on impossible to find a time everyone is in.

The thought of going to prison after battering him does have its appeals - "what's that you say? Lights out by 11pm?"

been waiting to use the bathroom for over half an hour now.

Are they having a long well deserved soak in the tub or just sat on the loo?

i really just want to have a shower and dont care. i fn hate these mfers.

slide a note under the door

GET PAPER PLATES _ FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS!!

Try knocking and say i'd like a shower.
Worth a try.

take a shit out of their bedroom!

that just sounds like they have a prized shit collection and who would want to fuck with that

knocked so many times. im not a total idiot. i turned off the light and waited for the door to open.

i then used the offenders expensive-looking shower gel. i smell like jasmine and lotus flower.

you won this round then!

try writing a note

were they fucking in the bathroom?

flatmate got up at 5am today, for no apparent reason, and made loads of noise.

Well, we are going to have to have "the talk". Third wheel has to go, he got up this morning expecting "Sunday breakfast." I have a sick mother to take care of, I can't afford pancakes and eggs and hash browns whenever roommate wants it.

Getting sick of his attitude, think he's crazy. The extra money isn't helping so we are throwing him out. We wanted someone to pay rent money, not live in a frigging commune.

who the fuck expects their housemates to make them any sort of breakfast let alone "sunday breakfast"?! o_0

Hahaha what

I don't think "I can't afford hash browns" is the right reason why you shouldn't be making breakfast for your roommate hahaha

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/09/ucla-freshman-sends-future-roommate-insane-dramatic-email.html

don't try it

ronan's july 19 2004 entry is hilarious

im p chill when everything goes my way and my nerves are not tested (lol)

that whole dorm-room shared with other people thing is my idea of hell.

ive been v lucky that my only ever roommate was my brother - which was bad enough. if youre not coupled up living alone is just the best

...even it means you have no dispoable income

I've just been liberated from a bad one, one where (rare thing) I'm sure it was them not me.

(I think I mentioned this fellow on the depression thread actually (iirc I had concerns about a self-imposed B12 deficiency). No need to go putting an extensive list of their offenses on here but I'll say one thing for closure: no, you cannot 'just use matchsticks' to make a 1:160 scale wooden truss bridge. Matchsticks are softwood, irregularly cut and take stain poorly and won't support the weight required. This is fact, and 1/8" stripwood exists for a good reason, and is bought by me for a good reason. In any case, why the fuck are you standing behind me, literally bending over me while I'm sat at a table over my 'work', and what business is it of yours what cardamons do for stress relief. Also your quorn breath washing over the table is knocking still-not-dry-glued truss sections out of true in a scale unforgiving to the milimetre. Good riddance.)