Straight guy goes in to a gay bar...

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

So my cousin's taking me to a gay bar tonight. I've never been to one, and in a group (I typed grope, first) of five I'm one of two heterosexuals. Give me advice, warnings, sarcastic commentary. Feat

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

if anyone larger than you asks you to dance assume that he is going to lead.

― anthony, Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"warnings"

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Gay bars are great places to take ladies for a date. They're hella fun, got the partyingest music, and nobody's gonna try to pick up on ya grrl.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh right, um, you and your sitch. I have no more advice.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

so I shouldn't wear this http://www.eden-lingerie.co.uk/acatalog/D66_s.jpg ?

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

No, but keep the haircut!

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, depends on how popular you want to be.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't expect to be the top on the first date!

― Huck, Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, you've got to work your way to the top.

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

They're hella fun, got the partyingest music, and nobody's gonna try to pick up on ya grrl.
-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), July 22nd, 2004.

Last November I discovered this to be raather untrue. And granted, she wasn't my girl, but I was still pissed.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

You don't need to tip the bartender, because he's paid in mackarel.

― Huck, Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll ask him about that.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 22 July 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

If you wear this, you're set:

http://www.demarsfashions.com/Pictures/background/27-1007.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

No wait, that's Sea World. Nevermind.

xpost...AAAAAGGGGGHHH!

― Huck, Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

that picture instills an awful lot of self-confidence.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I concede that the 23 times I've been to gay bars, the music was indeed hot shit. The DJs love it if you request something that they'll actually play, they might get a bit "Don't try it" if you repeatedly request Menergy or The Village People.

While I'm mentioning the V Ps, I recommend you don't wear that outfit - they'll never make a comeback if you keep stealing their wardrobe.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

or you could try this model:

ihttp://hulk.osd.wednet.edu/~lewisnt/nato/speedo.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i saw the best basement noise show of my life in jacques bar (gay cabaret bar)

― kephm, Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

what kind of gay bar is it? there are different kinds of gay bars, just like there are different kinds of every other kind of bar.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

ehh, it's the american equivelent of the london club heaven, as far as my understanding. It's very ... post studio 54.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Heaven counts for 2 of my 3 nights out at gay bars (that 23 upthread's an error), tho' one of them was a Ratpure gig. The 2nd one was really cool on its own merits - I met the coolest girl, found out she was gay, didn't give a shit and then lost her (Idiot Burms strikes again), plus an actual nice-looking straight girl gave me the eye (and then Idiot Burms struck AGAIN).

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

There's a URL up there including the words 'hulk' and 'speedo' - not a terribly appealing combination. Presumably the trunks are purple and frayed at the edges.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 22 July 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

When I lived in England, our local was a gay bar, and sometimes we'd see Alan Moore (the writer) in there, who is not gay, as far as I know. In fact, the ratio of straight to gay in there was probably around 60:40. But it was a laugh, anyway.

― David A. (Davant), Friday, 23 July 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Straight guy goes in to a gay bar...

and sees JON WILLIAMS!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 23 July 2004 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

http://images.dvdempire.com/res/movies/5/578333.jpg

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 23 July 2004 02:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Apparently some of them have wall-to-wall guys fucking in the toilets.

― That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 23 July 2004 03:08 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah almy, and glory holes in the toilet cubicles.

its gonna be fun. i've been to gay clubs hundreds of times. the trouble is there aren't that many women to look at.

― gaz (gaz), Friday, 23 July 2004 03:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Glory holes?

I've never been to a gay bar, ever. Not quite sure how I missed that boat.

― That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 23 July 2004 03:10 (twenty-one years ago)

i went to one once. couldn't tell the difference between it and any other south yarra bar.

― purple patch (electricsound), Friday, 23 July 2004 03:13 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

― gaz (gaz), Friday, 23 July 2004 03:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Zing!

― That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 23 July 2004 03:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i take it south yarra is the melb equiv of darlinghurst?

― gaz (gaz), Friday, 23 July 2004 03:17 (twenty-one years ago)

to say the least

― purple patch (electricsound), Friday, 23 July 2004 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Once I went to South Yarra wearing a suede jacket with jeans and $300 sunglasses, armed with three mobile 'phones and a copy of Elite Faux-Artist Quarterly, and sat outside a coffee shop drinking a latté and saying 'dah-ling' lots, and the police said GO AWAY YOU ARE NOT FAMOUS.

― That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 23 July 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

in a group (I typed grope, first) of five I'm one of two heterosexuals. Give me advice

What, other than the obvious?

― That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 23 July 2004 04:32 (twenty-one years ago)

lez up?

― gaz (gaz), Friday, 23 July 2004 04:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Dunno, I'll have to ask him.

― That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 23 July 2004 04:45 (twenty-one years ago)

so jeremy. did you have fun/get laid?

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 23 July 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

a: yes, and

ran into a psycho pseuxo-ex girlfriend who was handing out condoms

was told I was fuckable

danced to george michael

stalked by a coke-bottle glasses pederast in a ratty brown vest

imbibed freely

chatted up the haitian cab driver on the way home

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Friday, 23 July 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

So it turned you gay?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 23 July 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.rediff.com/sports/2000/aug/23drag1.jpg

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Friday, 23 July 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

1-2-3 Menergy!

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Friday, 23 July 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

fourteen years pass...

sup

― F# A# (∞), Sunday, 23 September 2018 01:46 (seven years ago)

are you popular there?

― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 23 September 2018 04:44 (seven years ago)

ah, the olden days!

― FRE SHA VAC ADO (jed_), Sunday, 23 September 2018 05:22 (seven years ago)

I think it would be a good scene in a screwball comedy if a straight guy accidentally walked into a gay bar a la police academy and there was a band playing in the bar called "Homo Panic"

― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Sunday, 23 September 2018 13:50 (seven years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.