I'm really worried about my friend and I can't find out if she's ok

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Whilst at Madchen's Calthorpe Arms FAP last weekend, I received a txt from my friend to say that she was unable to go to the gig we were supposed to be going to together because she was in hospital under observation. i tried ringing her straight away, but got the Orange answerphone lady. I suspect she may have switched her phone off coz she wasn't supposed to be using it in hospital. But I think it's might be on the blink anyway, coz I often have trouble ringing it from my mobile (I don't have this problem ringing anyone else) and get the answering service when I know it's switched on (coz I can ring her from a landline straight afterwards). Anyway, there wasn't a payphone in the pub or in the immediate vicinity outside. I was meeting other ppl before the gig and had promised to be there so went but kind of grudgingly and probably should've headed straight for my friend's house to see if her housemates could give me further info like which hospital, which ward and why she'd been admitted. Anyway, I did call round there the following day (Monday) but there was no-one in. She had said in her txt that she would ring and I never heard anything and have been unable to get an answer all week. I called round yesterday (Saturday) and again there was nobody in.

The problem is compounded by the fact that we don't so far as I know have any mutual friends whom I could contact to find out more info. I am absolutely sick with worry.

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 25 July 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

My sympathies, Mark. I had a very similar experience a couple of weeks ago, I called a friend several times during a week or two, but she wouldn't answer, and then I got a message saying her celly is out of reach, and later a message saying her celly number is out of use! I was deeply worried, because usually when you can't reach her it means problems, and I don't have any mutual friends with her either. Finally I managed to contact her through a txt message, and it turned out she had quite spontaneously gone on an Interrail trip, and that's why the celly was acting up. I was so relieved.

I do hope you find about your friend soon.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 25 July 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Can you visit her housemates maybe? Or do you know which hospital she might be in? The last time this happened to me I actually called the hospital number, which I still had from previous times.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 25 July 2004 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I have tried going to the house twice as I said in my original thread. Trouble is, I'm in Oxford and they're in London. In London, it could be any one of a large number of different hospitals. I wouldn't know where to start. The first time I called I put a note through the door.

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 25 July 2004 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I really know how you feel. Not knowing what's going on is awful, and in situations like these your mind conjures up the worst possible scenarios. But even if she's been admitted, she should be in the best hands.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 25 July 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Good luck with this, Mark. I don't know what to suggest.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 25 July 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

The worst thing in these situations is the feeling of inadequacy, that is, you want to do more for someone you care about, but you can't. Sometimes there simply isn't anything more you can do, and you have to live with that.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 25 July 2004 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I presume you don't have a landline number for her house or you'd be calling that. You know her address, so why not drop a letter in the post tomorrow morning addressed to 'the housemates of XXX' and mark it urgent, and ask one of them to call you and let you know what's going on.

You could also address a letter to "The Occupant" at the houses on either side of your friend's house - there's a slim chance they might know her and which hospital she's in (or don't London neighbours talk to each other much? I suppose they might not).

If you know her surname and whereabouts in the country her parents' home is, could you not track her down that way? This is of course a dumb idea is her surname is something like Smith :(

Has she lived at this address long? Do you know where she lived before? Does she have any ex-housemates at her old address who might still be in touch with her? Do you know where she works?

― C J (C J), Sunday, 25 July 2004 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks CJ - she hasn't lived at the house very long at all....a month or so. I don't think there's a landline, if there is she never told me. She used to live alone so there are no ex-housemates at her old address. She doesn't work anywhere at the moment. She used to be a classroom assistant at a school in docklands but term has just ended so that's finished and she used to have evening job at the pub just along the street, but that job finished when the pub changed breweries and they told her that they didn't need her on a regular basis anymore but would just ring her if they needed her.

Ringing parents - hmmm, that's a possibility. It's not that common a surname. I know roughly the part of the country.

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 25 July 2004 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Can you remember the pub-at-the-end-of-the-street's name? They may have a landline number for her - it's worth asking, and if you explain how worried you are, they might be willing to help. She might even have mentioned (a while ago) to someone there that she was going to be going into a certain hospital, you never know.

Schools have only just broken up, and there might be staff/school secretary still around. If you can track down which school it was, it might be worth ringing there tomorrow morning. They're bound to know something, even if it's just her home landline number (if there is one). She might even have a contact name and number on her file for next of kin etc, and even if they can't give out that info, they might be kind enough to pass your name and number on to them with a short message about your concerns. Worth a shot, possibly.

― C J (C J), Sunday, 25 July 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

May I ask if it's a question of physical or mental problems, because there's a difference between the two regarding her being able to answer the phone, or wanting to do so. You don't have to answer if the subject is too delicate.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 25 July 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Just reading this thread late on & I wondered if you had had any progress Mark?

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Monday, 26 July 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

sadly the answer's no, PinXor. Thanks everyone for yr support.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 26 July 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

oh no, best of luck & hope you get some good news soon.

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Monday, 26 July 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

phew! just managed to call her and she's fine...out of hospital now...she was only in for a couple of days. A heart condition apparently; she was suffering from irregular heartbeat, but is now going to be taking beta-blockers so should be ok.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

:-) I am glad to hear it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Me too.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

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