Stop Being So Mean To Our Lovely Forum!

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

When somebody says something like "ILM has gone rockist" or "ILE is really mean-spirited" etc. etc. are you the kind of person who thinks "Hmm thats interesting" or do you think "How dare they say that I'm not rockist/mean-spirited at all"? i.e. how personally do you take communal criticism? In general, as well as for these specific communities.

― Tom, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

For instance I tend to get stupidly personally affronted. This is probably in part due to moderating and so self-identifying too much with IL* but I always take generalised criticisms as an attack in part on me. Which makes no actual sense, so I just wondered if this is just me or if other people are so defensive. And assuming some people will respond personally, are these kind of no-names-mentioned criticisms actually more harmful than specific ones? (Note though that I am making a no-names-mentioned criticism MYSELF, aaargh.)

― Tom, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I take it pretty hard as one of my reasons for starting this in the first place was to make people happy, and if they aren't happy then I feel I've failed in some way.

― DG, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

aw, poor tom and dg, here they are trying to help us by giving us this lovely ickle place for talking bollox and not doing any work and then they get sad when we are nasty about it, i hope you all feel suitably ashamedand i think everyone should say thank you to them, i'll start

thank you boys :)

― carsmilesteve, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No no arrgh grr it wasn't meant to be asking people to thank us Carsmile you drunken beast. I was asking a serious qn. Also it is the mysterious overlord Greenspun who gives us the forum, we are just his vassals.

― Tom, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"I don't want to sell my soul/It's already in me/I wanna be a VASSAL!"

Hmm. Doesn't scan.

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yeah, all you detractors, go fight a lamppost!

― maryann, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dan, you are to be killed. It might take me some time to figure out how, though.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tom, DG... the detractors love the board more than the non- detractors. Trust me. I've been running a whole bunch of listservs long enough to know that the folks who have nothing better to do than generalize and criticize an entire board/list are folks who would stop breathing if said board/lists were down.

― Brian MacDonald, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

This is true. I am just bemused by all of this because ILE is distant to me, not a major part of my life like it is for some people here.

― Maria, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't know, I used to feel sort of a part of this place but I feel very separate from it now. It's not like my opinion counts for much anyway.

― Nicole, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, I totally take it personally, even though I'm hardly a champeen poster. Sure I've got "issues" with certain things -- I wish IL* would be less dopey, and I wish threads didn't have the shelf-life of a fluffy souffle -- but damnit, I'm PROUD to be part of the FT posse and the IL* massive. Really and truly.

(This has to be said: Gary Bushell? Isn't that a tad heavy- handed? I mean, really now.)

― Michael Daddino, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

those are some sweeping generalisations, aren't they? when people say that, i just shrug my shoulders and think "ok".

i got called rockist at work today, for saying i prefer the birthday party to nick cave solo.

― di, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Clearly I wrap the boards around me like a shroud to keep the world at bay (or is that work at bay?), but the sweeping comments are just...I dunno, sorta silly. It's the classic five blind men/elephant story, people are just honing in on one part and then expanding it outward.

If Nicole underrates herself again, I will contact her fiance and have him make her write a prize-winning book that outsells anything approved with Oprah's seal. There.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't mind the generalisations, I dont take the criticism personally. I think I am too dependant on this forum though, it is addictive. Like another home or the bar in cheers

― Menelaus Darcy, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There's a few people, they know who they are (no, not you), who make complaints directed at nobody in particular.

― maryann, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I hate it when people complain like that. Oh wait...

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I just think "that's there an opinion, but I hope they don't make one of those I'm leaving because this place sucks now type posts"...because that will always descend into an arguement. Do something positive rather than complain!

― james, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My last post was sort of a complaint, but I've been wanting to get it off my chest for a while.

― james, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think Hmmm..interesting~what's got your goat?>>>>>e.g. people who desperately wanted to talk about #### but not any more because they got answers/questions they didn't like or things hit a nerve [which is fair enough]>>>>Looking back at the boards we can see the patterns and predict the swings and shifts so we either attempt to nudge things along, ride the wave or go elsewhere>>>If I had just arrived this week I doubt I'd stay as all the Oxbridge/Molesworth stuff isn't my scene>>but I arrived when the board was attempting to find other topics post 11/9 and ILM was a bit flaccid[though perking up again now] so things were interesting>The RoXoR[currently raking in the dosh overseas by applying a generalisation about construction and sports] introduced me to ILE thus ^smug/self assured/vital/banal - usually in the same day>often in the same post^[gorgonzola !!!]Can you deal with the silly communal praise...?

― , Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If you think people are complaining pointlessly why not highlight that? I mean if it is pointless they'll surely see the error of their ways quickly. It's just as annoying to have people making vague comments which don't really give you the whole picture, or what they really think. I mean if you're not prepared stick your neck out and maybe seem like an asshole for 5 minutes, then don't mention the problem in a half assed way. Just don't bother.

― Ronan, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

practical criticisms>>>things something can be done about given the will of ^The Dreaded Clique^[shiver we newbies]e.g Search IL* >>>>pointless criticisms>>>direction,style,tone,mood ~ post questions that lead elsewhere>>see what happens>>>whose board is it ?>>>Do you care ?>>>>Why>>>>^half arsed^ can be better than ^can't be arsed^ but PLEASE>>>what does the Sounds parallel mean as I wasn't a reader ?

― , Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i got called rockist at work today, for saying i prefer the birthday party to nick cave solo.

that doesn't make you a rockist. that just makes you a very, very smart woman. (the bp being infinitely more "pop" than nc solo, notwithstanding...)

― jess, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Both of them are rockist. But the BP had that fellow in a cowboy hat. What workplace is this where such insults are bandied around so casually?

― Tom, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What if you've never heard the Bithday Party or Nick Cave?

― james, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'fortunate'

― , Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

neither of them are rockist in the coldplay/starsailor sense

― mark s, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

because Coldplay are a pop band?

― gareth, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yeah, jeez, where do you work? at my job the sales people make fun of me for being 'too cynical' because i can't tell bands like lifehouse and fuel apart, which is part of their point i guess but still.

― maura, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

at my job the sales people make fun of me for being 'too cynical' because i can't tell bands like lifehouse and fuel apart

ditto. except replace "cynical" with "old" and "you have bad taste."

― jess, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ned: I wasn't "underrating" myself, I just meant that the couple of times I have brought up criticisms of ilx they have gone unacknowledged. This isn't meant to single out anybody, since it has happened on a couple of occaisions.

― Nicole, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ILE has gotten so defensive lately that I'm leaving and never posting again.

― Nitsuh, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's just a phase, Nitsuh. I think it's already calming down. I try to ignore snits here as they blow over so quickly and they're not real- life anyway. People are only human and therefore occasionally crabby.

Besides, you may all be figments of my imagination but I love y'all just the same.

― suzy, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

because Coldplay are a pop band?

Coldplay are not a pop band they are indie. Evidence: Britannia Music Club advert where one gets to tick what one's musical tastes are: "Indie (eg. Coldplay, Radiohead)".

― NIck, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why are you talking to me, Suzy? Didn't I just say that I was gone?

― Nitsuh, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I just meant that the couple of times I have brought up criticisms of ilx they have gone unacknowledged.

D'oh! My due apologies -- and that is a good point.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

*giggle*

ILE rule Number One: all people who say they're leaving lurk to see how the board reacts. But y'know we all want to see if the bear shits in the woods.

*sashays off in drama-queen/Lot's wife-type huff*

― suzy, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Quick! Turn Suzy into a pillar of Maldon rock salt!

― Nick, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The bear shat in the woods and his name is Nick Dastoor;).

Quick, pass the salt!

― suzy, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I never said I was leaving ILE. I simply said I was leaving a thread. I'm trying to get over it and understand what happened, and I wish you'd all just drop it for chrissakes.

― Kerry, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Whoah, I don't think anyone was referencing that in the least! Just the general tendency of people to, you know, try to find some electronic equivalent of huffing indignantly off.

― Nitsuh, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh yeah! I wasn't referring to Kerry either! Just past experience!

― james, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cam i just point out that i was *completely* sober when i posted at the top of this thread, honest.

― carsmilesteve, Saturday, 10 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Down with all labels I says. I mean, half the stuff that gets tossed around out here, we end up debating days, weeks, months, without even having common definitions in our heads. I think when I see a word being bandied about the place, knocking other opinions out of the way like a club, I often tune out a bit and tell myself not to even waste the time. That probably sounds much more harsh and absolute than I actually feel.

Incidental comment - I have all mp3s on my computer on random play right now and the one that was on just before I typed this was that London ILE'ers karaoke version of Bohemimian Rhapsody. It's quite shocking you know, to have such a thing still lurking unbeknownst on your hard drive, and then to have it popping up out of nowhere.

― Kim, Saturday, 10 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.