wanking at work - is it good/bad/right/easy/nice/etc?

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sometimes you just cant help it.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew this was your thread.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

thats a bit judgemental.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, no, yes, yes, yes, etc.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, the third "yes" depends on where you work.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

anyone working in a brothel neednt respond to the third option (or any of the options, really).

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

wanking at work whilst reading/posting to ILX?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Whatever turns you on... Sicko!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i didn't start this thread. but i have had a wank at work, it was a saturday and I was stressed out.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

see, when youre stressed out at work, there is no better solution. always better when you have private bathrooms though, lined-up cubicles is not a good thing, unless youre really really quiet.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

ah not in my cube. in the loo

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

ive done it somewhere i really cant say where but it was on a large table, surrounded by lots of people seated around me.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread makes me feel much better about past, uh... stress alleviation techniques.
stress... yes.. that will do nicely.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Classic forever and ever, amen. What the fuck could be better than 1. shirking your responsibilities while 2. having an orgasm and 3 getting paid for it?!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I was wondering whether girls do it, but I got my answer. Thanks, Roxy!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I've heard of some places where they deduct wanking time from your wages.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

boys can compensate the loss by selling the sperm.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

roxy: so so so OTM.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course girls do it - they don't even have to leave their seat. OK, men don't either, strictly speaking.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 26 July 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course girls do it - they don't even have to leave their seat. OK, men don't either, strictly speaking.

men do it standing up

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

The thing about masturbating at work is that if you think about it enough you must do it.

xpost, so do women

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I've heard of some places where they deduct wanking time from your wages.

What, you have to stamp your clock-card before and after you pull your trousers down?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Wanking at work = classic. Working at a porn store, & cleaning up after other wankers at work = dud.

― Queen Electric Butt Prober BZZT!! BZZZZZT!! (Queen Electric Butt Prober BZZ), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought you said "stamp your cock hard"! and i was like wtf.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, you could have your special cock-card for wanking purposes only.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

roxy has been totally otm so far.

and now after all this talk i might have to go for a break.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

pervs.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

its harder wanking at work when youre challenged by your partner/GF/BF/whoever you shag to do it in some sort of wanking synchrocity. my GF once emailed me to both head off to the bathroom and report back in ten minutes to tell the other how 'we got on'. i didnt actually do it as i got really busy and it began to seem more stressful than the actual work. she said she did. i felt bad. but i hate being told what to do.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

hope what i just wrote makes sense.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you fake it?

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

can't you just lie?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

God, even when you're being told to masturbate by a woman? What's wrong with you?

xpost

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

next time a girl tells me to go fuck myself i know what they really meant.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

oh i did lie. fear not fellow wankers.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

did you make up for it with a retrospective during lunch?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there a thread about weirdest place you've masturbated? There should be.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

a hand to pants combat retrospective? i dont think i did actually. not sure what was wrong with me that day, i was adamant not to do anything my GF asked me to (sorry roxy).

roxy, youre not the legendary roxy saint from LA by any chance are you? btw, i could perhaps win the weirdest place thread.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

it's hand to GLAND combat!

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there a thread about weirdest place you've masturbated? There should be.

And now there is!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

ahhhh, yes...

well done tuomas!

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Nope, not legendary or from LA. you're probably mixing me up with Gear like most people do.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

It happens, aye.

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 26 July 2004 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

have you all gotten fired 1000x over???

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 27 July 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I only have the urge to do this when I'm hung over or really really sleepy. It's like I'm trying to give myself a reason to live.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 27 July 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd be too terrified of being caught.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 27 July 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

In the bathroom?!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 30 July 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I think amateurist means 'caught' as in 'caught in his zipper', roxy.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 30 July 2004 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

You know..we could arrange an ILE in work synschro-wank!

Or maybe not.

― mei (mei), Thursday, 30 September 2004 16:18 (twenty years ago)

(1pm tomorrow if anyone's interested.)

― mei (mei), Thursday, 30 September 2004 16:19 (twenty years ago)

i was at the job centre and one of the twats that works there was giving me these funny looks. when i left he followed but did not exit the building. i had to piss so i went back.
need staff to open toilets since they have the keys. i went in and the thing followed once more. it started saying it could get off work probably about 4.30 and it wanted to see me. he started stroking my dick through the clothing.
then he got his dick out and started wanking it or something. it looked like he'd been snipped so he wasn't really.
kept saying he wanted to see me later and gave me it's phone number.
hate it.won't call. it was really seedy like he'd been locked away in his grannies attic for being bent or something.
it works there all the time now.better get job soon so i never have to see it again.

― almost like this, Thursday, 30 September 2004 18:19 (twenty years ago)

he's right though, sometimes you just can't help but help yourself.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 30 September 2004 18:21 (twenty years ago)

exsqueeze me?

― Little Lord Travolta (nordicskilla), Thursday, 30 September 2004 18:22 (twenty years ago)

I suppose the words "stop that" just magically disappeared from your vocabulary?

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 September 2004 18:22 (twenty years ago)

magically

― almost like this, Thursday, 30 September 2004 18:36 (twenty years ago)

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