The weirdest place you've masturbated?

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You asked for it, Roxy, you got it!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

stuck in traffic.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

on a bus next to a sleeping family member.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

In a tube slide at a playground.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Stuck in traffic next to a family member. Not kidding!

― j.e.r.e.m.y (x Jeremy), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

in a school classroom, when at school in geography class, in the afternoon, while seated on a table of about eight. it was difficult but very necessary. it also helped that there were several visual aids at the time.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

(I cleaned up with a leaf.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

i think the tube slide is the winner so far.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

In a swimming pool, WITHOUT USING MY HANDS!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

In the periodicals section of a local library.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Laying in my girlfriend's backyard naked during a thunderstorm, with her laying right next to me doing likewise.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Car and bus!

― Hanna (Hanna), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

(And school toilet but that's not so weird maybe.)

― Hanna (Hanna), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, everyone's done that.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Laying in my girlfriend's backyard naked during a thunderstorm, with her laying right next to me doing likewise.

That sounds really awesome.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

until lighting strikes your beanbag.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

it'll go for the lightning rod first.

― j.e.r.e.m.y (x Jeremy), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean that would be one hell of an orgasm. boom a bolt of lightning right to the boys when you loft one.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, wow. That one's awesome. I am impressed.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

In a swimming pool, WITHOUT USING MY HANDS!
ok, tuomas, what were you "using" then¿

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I assume his penis.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I bet he used one of the little holes on the sides that the water shoots into the pool from. Ouch!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

apparently i attempted to masturbate in the middle of a party after I had performed the silence of the lambs dance, luckily I fell down from the rafters and passed out bare ass.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

remoras?

― j.e.r.e.m.y (x Jeremy), Monday, 26 July 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

In the butt, Bob.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 26 July 2004 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

At work in the men's room, in a toilet stall. Two or three times over the course of five years.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 26 July 2004 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Bismarck, North Dakota.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 26 July 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

driving on the highway at 120Km/h

― anthony, Monday, 26 July 2004 18:02 (twenty-one years ago)

you really don't wanna know.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 26 July 2004 18:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I've never really masturbated in a PLACE that was weird but I've tried lots of weird METHODS to get myself off.

I used a shoe-buffer/polisher/whatever-it's-called in a hotel room once (I was 13, bored, horny, and stupid). Instead of getting myself off I just ended up scrapeing my manhood.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 26 July 2004 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

And here I thought I was weird for jerking off in the bathroom of a Kindergarten classroom (it was during the summer and I was cleaning it as part of my summer job when I was 17) to a 1977 Sears catalogue. I really liked how high the toilet was and those were the days when the women were still really hott in the Sears catalogue.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 26 July 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i did the anthony at about 140km.

bryan still wins, i think. seriously, dude - i was born in '77¡

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 26 July 2004 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i may regret asking this... but which section of the Sears catalogue was it Bryan?

― anthony, Monday, 26 July 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

bras, panties, hardware, the usual.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 26 July 2004 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

ah hardware! The seductive ratchet etc etc.

― anthony, Monday, 26 July 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

the map of mississippi's flood plain always does it for me, too.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 26 July 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post

seriously man, weren't all the ladies dressed in horribly outdated cloths - like those old cone-shapes bras, big panties and beehive hair-do's¿ i don't understand how you could get off on something so terribly outdated¡

― the fashion masturbation police (dyson), Monday, 26 July 2004 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

lots of those old lady body shaper corset things with the garters and stockings, and cone-shaped bras are fucking HOTT!

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 26 July 2004 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Give or take a couple of hundred metres, I'd say it was about here:

http://tinyurl.com/5ok6p

Sat on a rock, halfway up Benn Resipol, looking down towards the rooftops of Scotstown.

― JimD (JimD), Monday, 26 July 2004 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, this is probably closer to the truth:

http://tinyurl.com/4fot8

I didn't make it all that far up the mountain. I had inappropriate footwear.

― JimD (JimD), Monday, 26 July 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

jim you'd have gone farther if you hadn't stopped to have one off

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Monday, 26 July 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

not if he had the swelled aching bollocks.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 26 July 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

In my parents' caravan. With my parents there.

Oh, and we were all naked.

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 26 July 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Families that play together stay together I guess.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 26 July 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i used to like looking at lingerie sections in home catalogues too. before i *could* actually wank though, i used to like getting a blue biro and drawing a line from their pants to the floor. i have no idea why, either.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Monday, 26 July 2004 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

This doesn't quite count, but for the hell of it, I once jerked off before submitting a urine sample to the doctor's. I waited in slightly nervous/amused silence as the nurse assessed the state of my pee. After a few minutes, she remarked "Hmm, this has an unusually high protein content", whilst giving me a stern, yet otherwise unreadable stare. I shrugged.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Monday, 26 July 2004 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

they test for protein content¿ "hmmm, tastes unusually salty too"

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 26 July 2004 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought she looked suprised!

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Monday, 26 July 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

during my radio show, saturday 7am, freshman year of college

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 26 July 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

it was a long song

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 26 July 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

!!! Anthony, you.. GUY!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 26 July 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

But to respond truthfully, I worked as a volunteer at a hospital my junior year in highschool.. and I was stuck in this tiny office all day, and I got bored.

Oh wait! Once in my car, I was real, real bored, too.. I was locked out of the house.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 26 July 2004 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

a medical establishment called no shit the sperm bank. semen analysis their speciality. produced my sample in a dusty disused office euphemistically called an "examination room." equipped with porn mags and videos "if you need" explained stern russian nurse. loud conversation audible from bored employees just outside the door. quite possibly the least erotic experience that's ever resulted in an orgasm. for me, anyway.

― portnoy's catholic cousin, Monday, 26 July 2004 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

In a swimming pool, WITHOUT USING MY HANDS!
ok, tuomas, what were you "using" then¿

I was in a swimming pool with this sort of "massage" thing, where a heavy current of water comes out of a hole on the side of the pool, and you're supposed to sit there and let the current massage your back. Well, I just stood in front of the hole and... let things happen. I was also 12 back then, if that's any sort of an excuse.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

So, you lost your virginity TO a swimming pool? Man, you Finns got some kinky tastes.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Monday, 26 July 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

No, I lost it to my right hand.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I just realized that by forgetting to put the word "in" in the title, I've accidentally let it open to interpretation...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I jerked off my ear once.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Monday, 26 July 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I once brought Trafalgar Square to orgasm by gently tiptoeing on it.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 26 July 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck the world.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 26 July 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

In an open office, while co-worker stepped out for a 2-min bathroom break.

In a sock in a closet of the office.

In the woods, at a nice hidden leafy spot overlooking a walking path with lots of walkers.

― Queen Electric Butt Prober BZZT!! BZZZZZT!! (Queen Electric Butt Prober BZZ), Monday, 26 July 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"Have you ever masturbated on the upper deck of a number seven bus?"
"Uh... what number?"

― That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 26 July 2004 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

In the rafters of a garage.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Tuesday, 27 July 2004 05:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Boeing 777 JFK-Heathrow I think somewhere over Novaskosha
clients house while babysitting

― lukey (Lukey G), Tuesday, 27 July 2004 07:51 (twenty-one years ago)

three years pass...

damn u freaky, girl

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 15 April 2008 01:20 (seventeen years ago)

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