Name someone famous you want to see become an underpaid fry cook

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I ask because of this beautiful revelation via Metal Sludge about your non-hero and mine, Jani Lane, lead warbler of Warrant. And though the photo is a joke, the story seems real.

The end of the Metal Sludge piece mentions the idea of Aaron Lewis of Staind serving fries, a beautiful and holy image. Right now I'd also have to say Rodney Jerkins deserves it just for existing, along with Nikki Costa.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Metropolis general manager Donny, who doesn't give his last name, sums up the club's ill repute: 'I've heard that it was either a punch palace or it was a place for people to go and just do massive drugs.'"

What the hell is a "punch palace"?

My votes to man the fryer:

Nickelback Bubba Sparxxx Five For Fighting.

Later in life, when you go to the Social Security Office to file a change of address, you will see the Promise Ring.

We're all gonna work for The Strokes one day.

― Benjamin, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fred Fucking Durst, although I'd rather see him in the fryer.

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fred Durst will be rockin' the easybake oven.

― Nicole, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I believe that not only should Thomas C. Frank and Thomas L. Friedman be underpaid fry cooks, they should also be co-workers.

I like Nikki Costa!

― Michael Daddino, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

G.W. Bush. Matter of fact, being an underpaid fry cook would have been his calling had he not been born into his particular family.

I could go on for hours about people who I wish were taken down a notch or two. And that's not including certain ILErs who shall remain nameless at present :-o

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bill Gates. and Cher, and Madonna, and Richard Simmons

― Menelaus Darcy, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Martin Fry. Though I daresay he probably already is (can this be confirmed Pinefox?)

Whilst Suzy isn't very famous she a) knows famous people b) Would probably be horrified at the food hygiene standards as she tried to make her gormuet concocrition with lard and a skillet which has not seen any cleaning equipment for its entire natural life.

So that might be fun.

― Pete, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Isn't ABC coming back for a comeback tour with other 80s hasbeens? Sorry - digression from topic. I'd like to see Jamie Oliver be an underpaid cook. Have people in the US heard of Jamie Oliver?

― Will, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes!! Jamie Oliver must be banished to the high fat low pay sector of society. I am sick of him and his pukka tucker and crap camera angles meant to symbolise the verve and excitement of his fast cooking style. No more will I have to endure special tandem chopping efforts with guest chefs and basket ball while the rabbit is being braised gently

― Menelaus Darcy, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

To be fair I think Oliver is more of a literalist. When he wants to symbolised verve, he plays the Verve on the soundtrack. OF course this subtext device can be easily read into. The other day when doing a chicken dish he played something by the Revolting Cocks.

― Pete, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

nellie furtado, fly like a bird over to that skillet and rustle me up some hash browns and two eggs, over easy.

― chris, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jamie Oliver should be pushed into a deep fat fryer.

― rosemary, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'd like to see Simon Callow behind the counter. "CHEF, CHEF. WE NEED MORE FRENCH FRIES FORTHWITH". Then i'd throw ketchup sachets at him, the fat thespian tossmonkey.

― Jonnie, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jonnie, do I get the impression you don't like Simon Callow very much?

― chris, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Simon Callow is a rather annoying but I am curious to know exactly why Mr 5 is so riled by him.

― RickyT, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Could Callow do it dressed as Charles Dickens, thus frying two birds with one stone.

― Pete, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have a vague recollection that Jonnie may have delivered booze to him once, is this right?

― chris, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Never delivered booze to him thank god. He's just a fuck. In one of the shops that I used to work in there was a picture of him around a bottle of wine with the caption "I am Simon Callow, ACTOR. Look upon my face and despair".

― Jonnie, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Shame on you, Peter Baran ;).

I have actually already been an underpaid fry cook, it was my first job when I was 14! If you want a fictionalised account of this please check out my story 'Mr Pharmacist' in the collection Retro Retro (Serpent's Tail) edited by Amy Prior. I am massively proud of it, and the review in the Times that said it was the best story in the book.

So I have already fairly effectively written myself out of the scenario. I actually enjoyed the making stuff for people part of the job, but the people you have to work for are invariably a nightmare, as my story illustrates.

― suzy, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I met a girl at the booozer last night who claims to have worked with Rob Base at a diner in New Haven. He worked the grill. COrollary q: what fry cook ought to be a pop star.

― Benjamin, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wasn't Wayne Coyne (Flaming Lips) a Long John Silvers fry cook until he could pay off his house?

― Brian MacDonald, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If ABC toured, I'd go see them. I'd be really hoping for shimmery suits and a string section, tho I'm sure I'd be disappointed.

― Sean, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Michael Douglas

― dan, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

WILL SMITH. infact, i'd like to see him face down on the grill.

― di, Tuesday, 13 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

David Smith = US correspondent on channel 4 news. Even the anchorman (Krishnan Guramurty sp) was rolling his eyes last night. Smith has recently started using weird meaningless hand-gestures, in addition to his general irritating whiny voice and UTTER IGNORANT STUPIDITY.

Normally I can even stand Kilroy, but this man surely has norty pix of the head of Channel Four, and threatens to expose all,

― mark s, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I nominate thee gallagher bros. They suck. Martin Fry, OTOH.....I saw a daytime home dex0rating prog back when I had a TV, and they make-over-ised MF's house. The painted a tiger on the floor IIRC. It was hideous. He did appear to have a nice house, tho, and I doubt we'll be seeing him behind thee counter in wimpy's anytime soon.

― NoRMaNPHaY, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Lady Victoria Hervey.

― Andrew L, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fred Durst on Drive Through, the dude witht he fake dreads from Slipknot on deep fryer, Britney Spears on Cash register and moping the floors would be Baby Spice. Complete classic: Nardwaur Vs The Strokes.

― Mr Noodles, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

no, i love Baby, i want to have her Babies.

― di, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

David Smith = US correspondent on channel 4 news. Even the anchorman (Krishnan Guramurty sp) was rolling his eyes last night.

Actually, you'll never go wishing that any TV anchorman or "journalist" (using that term very loosely) should be asking "You want fries with that?" at the local burger joint.

Oh yeah, and related to this thread ... rumor has it that the former Dead Milkmen lead singer has become the store manager at a Philadelphia-area Boston Chicken franchise. Jess or other Philly folks, any truth to this?

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Uh, that should read, "You'll never go wrong wishing ..." I'll never go wrong wishing I didn't have to correct meself ;-p

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two years pass...

i think your message board is crap. its a waste of internet space. see ya later

― Tonya Henke, Tuesday, 16 March 2004 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

apparently she is already an underpaid fry cook (oh, Schaden-Snap!)

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Chan Marshall, sort of.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Why does she say "she you later" if she's never coming back again? Maybe being a crap internet waste of space is something to aspire towards?

― zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

is this thread a pitch for a new Fox series?

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 22:10 (twenty-two years ago)

It is now!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 22:40 (twenty-two years ago)

The Promise Ring! Nikka Costa! I'm totally time-traveling, dude!

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Then clearly they ARE fry cooks now!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 00:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Why the Rodney Jerkins hate so long ago, Ned? The man did "Say My Name" for god's sake!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 00:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe some asshole suggested Bubba Sparxxx!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 00:59 (twenty-two years ago)

The man did "Say My Name" for god's sake!

It is not enough.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 01:00 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.ohooligans.com/ohooligans_pic_kitchen_chicken_head_nugget_small.JPG

SAY HELLO TO THE FRY COOK, CLUCKY!

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 01:04 (twenty-two years ago)

omg I forgot about the chicken head! was that 2001 too?

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 01:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno, I see chickenheads at McDonald's all the time

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd like to see Catherine Zeta Jones do some menial low-paying job. She's crappo.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 03:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Terrell Owens

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 03:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Lady Victoria Hervey

Andrew L ca. 2001 completely OTM!

It would also be amusing seeing some other little society princess whose only activities seem to be partying, traveling, and partying some more, trying to hold onto a menial, low-paying job for at least a year, without any help from Daddy or Mommy, trying to keep up rent on an apartment, pay bills, etc. No cameras allowed.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 04:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Kirstie Alley.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 04:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Ryan Seacrest.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 04:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Jessica Simpson.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Aaron Carter.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

John Kerry.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, I understand Ryan Seacrest. But what did Kirstie Alley do?

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 04:53 (twenty-two years ago)

She is horrible.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

In every way.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, you may be right.

http://members.cox.net/batchild1/kirstie.jpg

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Those commercials she's in make me homicidal.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Everything about her just irritates me. I wish I could say it makes me homicidal, but for some reason I can't. She just bothers me a LOT.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

"Drop Dead Gorgeous" makes me really happy, even though she's in it. Maybe because her daughter gets burned alive and she goes to prison.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 05:03 (twenty-two years ago)

(I strongly dislike Denise Richards, too.)

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 05:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't keep up with all the people Kirsten's lost patience with.

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 05:06 (twenty-two years ago)

There really aren't that many.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 05:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Who likes Denise Richards?

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 05:09 (twenty-two years ago)

NOBODY.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, Charlie Sheen might.

― jim wentworth (wench), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 05:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Jack Welch
Robert Novak
Juliette Lewis

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 06:42 (twenty-two years ago)

antonin scalia

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 06:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Not that I dislike him, but the best would be walking into a KFC and watching Prince strutting around the fry-o-later in his purple suit and pumps. Ever since the Chapelle-Prince-Charlie Murphy thing, I keep imagining Prince in all kinds of everyday situations.

― Speedy (Speedy Gonzalas), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 07:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I dislike Kirstie alley as well. On top of that, she's a Scientologist. It would be funny to see her be a fry cook.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 07:27 (twenty-two years ago)

...in an amazing new sitcom!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 07:30 (twenty-two years ago)

...with sexy results!

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 07:30 (twenty-two years ago)

xpost...or is it?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 07:31 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

Another year, another list?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 15 April 2005 04:08 (twenty-one years ago)

well, i guess even charlie sheen doesn't like denise richards anymore.

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Friday, 15 April 2005 04:31 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

antonin scalia

Such wisdom must be acknowledged and appropriate thanks given. I salute you, Eisbär.

― Aimless, Saturday, 14 July 2007 05:14 (eighteen years ago)

If ABC toured, I'd go see them. I'd be really hoping for shimmery suits and a string section, tho I'm sure I'd be disappointed.

I went to see them play last summer & they were fucking DELICIOUS. Shimmery suits; no string section but 6 people on stage playing the dazzling, sparkling notes as perfectly as you'd expect.

― Abbott, Saturday, 14 July 2007 05:22 (eighteen years ago)

i dont know why but

for some reason, the first person that came to mind was richard gere

― the sir weeze, Saturday, 14 July 2007 06:24 (eighteen years ago)

Fareed Zakaria

― Heave Ho, Saturday, 14 July 2007 11:48 (eighteen years ago)

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