casual sex stories

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A friend of Mil Millington's wants some for a book she's writing.

http://www.mil-millington.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/em_book.htm?urlID=978254989

Send them to her, then tell us. Or just us.

― Lukas (lukas), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

And ah - no roommate stories.

― Lukas (lukas), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 03:10 (twenty-one years ago)

i was wondering what he was after in that mailing list whatsit, the links wouldn't work for me

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Mine is boring. You should have no trouble topping this:

"My husband ..."
"Your what?"
"Oh, it's ok, we're getting a divorce. So my husband is a Marine, and he can't stop talking about the 50 people he's killed."

― Pseudo (lukas), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I had sex with a flower - the flower was an angel - it was an accident

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 03:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Björk? Is that you?

― Ooooh Heaven is a Place on Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't write about my past sex life until I'm single again, if that ever happens (hopefully not). WHile I'm living with someone, none of it ever happened.

― Major McTwitch (kenan), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

weird question anyway. i realized few of you have any idea who i am. anyway, no, it's not sketchy, i ask this question of everybody. er, wait.

― Lukas (lukas), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

odd timing of this thread. I went jogging tonight, running around the track of this middle school at like 1AM. As I'm leaving the school grounds, this girl is walking towards me, smoking a cigarette. I ask her if she has anything better to smoke wink wink nudge nudge. "yeah, back at my house blah blah blah I'll be write back". Long story short we smoked up and gave each other oral pleasure at the school. It was kinda... bizarre.

― logged the fuck off, Wednesday, 28 July 2004 08:14 (twenty-one years ago)

roll on registered users...

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 08:15 (twenty-one years ago)

A long time ago when I was single, I got chatting to a lovely guy in the departure lounge of Bangkok airport and it turned out we were booked on the same long-haul flight. We had all that instant mutual attraction and overwhelming chemistry and stuff, so we managed to swap seats so that we could sit next to each other on the plane. Some hours later we adjourned to the toilet and joined the Mile High Club which was great, except right in the middle of it the plane hit a sudden pocket of turbulence and I ended up cracking my head on the wash basin and knocking myself out cold.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 08:26 (twenty-one years ago)

great story!

― Maneating Leopards of India (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 08:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Once I was in a pizza place in Connecticut. There was this really hot waitress working the pies like no tomorrow. Something about the way she said sausage that made me horny. "Sauseeg". Man did my sauseeg get hard when she talked. We flirted through must of our interactions. At the end of the night I asked her for her number and waht time she got off work. She said she was hanging out late tonight to close up. It was her parents shop. She asked if I wanted to stay and help. I did. We stayed late and we were so attracted to each other that we started going at it right there on the counter. We pushed the Jimmy Fund Donation can aside and layed out some flour on the counter top. We stripped butt naked and I told her to get the meatballs and sauseeg. She proceeded to shove two meatballs inside my rectum. It was hot. I rubbed her all over with capicola and mortadell. I made her my little italian sub and ate the shit out of her.

― captainmeatballs, Wednesday, 28 July 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope they don't that with meatballs in Ikea.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 11:42 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG!!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Captain Meatballs tells me that he made that story up.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

It was probably his ultimate fantasy! dude, meatballs?

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Captain Meatballs only has one fantasy involving meatballs and it involves Gary Busey and Johnny Utah.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Heheh!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, that looks like a roadkill!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Utah...TWO!

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Get me two!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Fucking exceptional. More made up sex shit here please!

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a very meatbally mind today.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

My captain meatballs identity has been outed.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

What's the difference between meatballs and faggots?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel bad for posting that and involving myself in this thread.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Dr Brain makes Faggots. Chris is not Dr Brain.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

eh?

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:23 (twenty-one years ago)

http://freespace.virgin.net/daz.bert/mirror/rudefood/food/faggots.jpg

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:25 (twenty-one years ago)

oh.

http://www.singlenesia.com/stuff/redtongue/rt18.jpg

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris, I kiss you in a TITTWIS way!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"in a rich West Country sauce"

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

^^^that was my casual sex story!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I was NOT involved.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I heard that Mr Brain's was in financial trouble and his faggots may be no more, but then they're not that good anyway. One of the benefits of being in the West Country (OK, Bristol, but it's closer than the rest of you) is that high-quality faggots are only a short car ride away.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I am still NOT involved.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, just log out & post something, it'll make you seem mysterious!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Why are Gay faggot called faggots?

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

From here

Derogatory term for homosexuals
usage faggot or "fag" is a term for homosexuals, almost always males. The origins of the word in this sense have been clouded by mythology.
It has been frequently said that it derives from faggot in the sense of a bundle of sticks, because homosexual men were burned at the stake for sodomy and faggots were used as kindling. A variant on this is that homosexual men were themselves used as kindling. The gay liberation movement of the 1970s promoted this supposed derivation to highlight the historical oppression of homosexual men.
There is, however, no historical evidence for these supposed derivations, and the use of the term faggot for gay men goes back only to the 19th century. The fact that the word appeared in the United States. , and not in Britain, where burnings for sodomy did take place until the 17th century, makes this derivation unlikely.
The more likely derivation is that faggot was originally a derogatory term for street prostitutes, female and male, because they were associated with "the gutter," where "faggot-ends" of meat were thrown by butchers. The term "faggot girls" for prostitutes is attested from the late 19th century. It is also possible that the expression "fag" meaning a cigarette-butt, something which is used and thrown in the gutter, contributed to the derivation of the word.
"Faggot" has historically been one of the most offensive terms that could be addressed to an American male, but the more casual use of the word in recent years has robbed it of some of its force. It has come to be used by gay men in a defiant or self-mocking way, rather as African American men have taken to using the word "nigger". In the mouths of homophobes, however, it is still a powerful term of abuse. (See for example Fred Phelps and his "God hates fags" campaign.)
Originally confined to the United States, "faggot" has been spread by American popular culture to other English-speaking countries, where it has begun to displace British-English terms such as "queer" and "poofter" as colloquial or abusive terms for gay men, particularly among heterosexual youth.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a friend in high school named Mark who was all geared up for his big date one weekend. "I have no moves" he used to say all the time. So a group of us were hanging out and we told him he should buy the Benny Mardones single "Into The Night". This would surely get you some. So he did. Apparently they ended up as he called it having a " soap opera fuck" in the back of his pickup by some lake. So the moral of the story is...Benny Mardones gets you mad ass.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i used to work in a bakery, this one time i went into the walk in freezer and a coworker who was a cashier came in to chat. by accident, she locked herself in with me. while we were in there, freezing our respective tits and nuts off, i grabbed a baguette, slid it between her legs, pulled her trousers down and inserted it in the appropriate place. 30 minutes later, it was on the shelf for sale.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

the baguette was frozen.

parts of this story may be complete utter lies.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

What? The part about you both being locked in together?

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe he was locked in by himself and stuck the baguette up his arse?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

no, the putting it up for sale part was the lie. i dont abuse baguettes like that, tuomas.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Um, you're saying your coworker actually let you stuck the baguette "there" instead of hitting you on the head with it?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that really the "appropriate" place, I have to ask?

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

im bored! i made it up! thats why i wrote it might be complete lies!

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

You dirty liar!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

guess I don't need to run out and buy a baguette after all...

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

If you can't trust anonymous people who post on an Internet messageboard, who *can* you trust?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

it could work. the mini baguettes might be best to start with.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

the government?

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i trust the advice and handy tips of phone sex workers. if they arent sexual pros, as they sit at home knitting while talking about infesting my groin with whipped cream and fruit salad, i dont know who is.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Start with grassini then work your way up to ficelle. When you get up to the bâtard you'll feel like a real pro.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

OTM michael white.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

wow, my bad. icky!

― Lukas (lukas), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

When they start refering to her as the 'breadbox', stop!

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 17:17 (twenty-one years ago)

*deleted joke involving yeast*

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

three years pass...

-- captainmeatballs, Wednesday, July 28, 2004 6:38 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

― deej, Friday, 27 June 2008 02:44 (seventeen years ago)

I hope they don't that with meatballs in Ikea.

-- Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, July 28, 2004 7:42 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

― J0hn D., Friday, 27 June 2008 02:59 (seventeen years ago)

hahahaaa

― wilter, Friday, 27 June 2008 03:00 (seventeen years ago)

Sauseeg

― deej, Friday, 27 June 2008 03:03 (seventeen years ago)

not gonna c/p any of the posts in this thread, no way

― max, Friday, 27 June 2008 03:22 (seventeen years ago)

why the flour?

― Maria :D, Friday, 27 June 2008 03:33 (seventeen years ago)

i imagine it would prevent chafing on the countertop

― deej, Friday, 27 June 2008 03:36 (seventeen years ago)

flour = contraceptive

― Autumn Almanac, Friday, 27 June 2008 07:49 (seventeen years ago)

the jimmy fund donation can is the grace note.

― estela, Friday, 27 June 2008 07:58 (seventeen years ago)

I had sex with a flower - the flower was an angel - it was an accident

-- Mike Hanle y (mike), Wednesday, July 28, 2004 4:38 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

SO ROMANTING

― warmsherry, Friday, 27 June 2008 10:35 (seventeen years ago)

two years pass...

meatballs and sauseeg

― blap...tremendo (deej), Sunday, 8 August 2010 05:43 (fifteen years ago)

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Sunday, 8 August 2010 06:00 (fifteen years ago)

we got pies flyin out

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Sunday, 8 August 2010 06:00 (fifteen years ago)

http://casualencounters.com/blog/2009/02/11/foodie-fuck-buddy/

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Sunday, 8 August 2010 06:09 (fifteen years ago)

Dying over here

― VegemiteGrrrl, Sunday, 8 August 2010 06:29 (fifteen years ago)

did the book come out in the end?

― piscesx, Sunday, 8 August 2010 13:06 (fifteen years ago)

not gonna recount my best one cept the punchline is "Well, it IS the day after Thanksgiving."

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Monday, 9 August 2010 03:59 (fifteen years ago)

...and if any ILXor wants to star in a casual sex story, put your nicest underwear on and show up at midnight tomorrow at my house in *mumble,mumble*, Florida. No preference for gender, all rights reserved, void where prohibited, etc.

― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 9 August 2010 04:18 (fifteen years ago)

http://casualencounters.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/casual_sex_mens.jpg

― not everything is a campfire (ian), Monday, 9 August 2010 04:21 (fifteen years ago)

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