A new Simpsons potboiler... who will be outed?

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OK, so we all know Smithers is gay on the Simpsons. Apparently however, a new episode is going to reveal a character as gay (and lord help me it better not BE smithers, that would be just stupid).

Article here:

Simpsons in gay mystery

So the question remains. Who will they have it be?

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 05:31 (twenty-two years ago)

My immediate thought was Lenny and/or Carl. But is that also too obvious?

Other suggestions: Groundskeeper Willie, Selma or Patty, Flanders, Mr Burns (bit too obvious).

Who would you like it to be, and why?

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Gil

― purple patch (electricsound), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 05:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Lisa

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 05:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Skinner?

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 05:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Lenny/Carl is likewise too obvious, though I still want to believe that all of their recent buddying up is purely on the homosocial level, and a statement of the validity of such relationships between men.

― The Dreaded Rear Admiral (Leee), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 05:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd like to see it be Maggie, for political reasons.

― The Dreaded Rear Admiral (Leee), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 05:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Maude Flanders!

Oh wait.

― Ooooh Heaven is a Place on Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 05:52 (twenty-two years ago)

What about Ned? The irony would explode in a big bloody mess and Bush would hang himself. Can't lose.

― Ooooh Heaven is a Place on Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 05:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Will they out Milhouse, or is he too young?

― nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 06:05 (twenty-two years ago)

One of the colourful characters will tell the world he or she is gay - in an episode where lovable oaf Homer Simpson is ordained on the internet and begins performing same-sex weddings.

Christ, fuck the Simpsons.

Furthermore, christ-fuck the Simpsons.

― David Allen (David Allen), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 06:14 (twenty-two years ago)

conversation with friend about this:

Me: http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2004/07/28/1090693989897.html
Friend: All I see is "Simpsons in gay mystery"
Me: good
Friend: Here's a really good idea for an episode:
Friend: Cancel the show
Me: No no I have an idea, okay, okay, so a Starbucks moves into Springfield!
Friend: And Mr. Burns steals Christmas!
Friend: Lenny Kravitz guest stars
Me: oh oh and William Hung makes a guest appearance!
Me: I think Lenny Kravitz actually has been on before
Me: Seriously
Friend: Christ Jesus
Friend: Okay, fine
Friend: Gunnar Hansen guest stars
Me: They should get Sadaam Husein to make a guest appearance
Me: They could now that we have him captured you know
Friend: And he does love American pop culture
Me: 3% of those polled predicted Lionel Hutz to come out of the closet
Me: Theyll bring back Phil Hartman from the dead to make their joke
Friend: No, he just won't speak
Friend: Clever editing and writing will be the order of the day
Me: Or they have stock audio of Phil Hartman coming out of the closet

― David Allen (David Allen), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 06:23 (twenty-two years ago)

"There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality"

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 08:05 (twenty-two years ago)

so glad i don't watch this anymore

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 08:14 (twenty-two years ago)

but why 'potboiler'?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 09:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Another vote for Skinner.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 09:53 (twenty-two years ago)

It should be Marge.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 09:54 (twenty-two years ago)

OK maybe potboiler was a bad choice of phrase - I sat for ages trying to think of a phrase to suit this.

Flanders - no, too harsh for the general public.

One someone came up with I didnt even think of - Moe.

I realise this whole arc is lame as fuck, and probably a nadir for the show, but ah fuck that.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 09:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Look I love the Simpsons and Futurama, so I will say now, I am biased as fuck on this.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 09:57 (twenty-two years ago)

first one i thought of was Flanders.

i like the suggestion of willy and the bouvier sisters.

― AaronK (AaronK), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 10:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Flanders agreed. He's the one that makes the most sense. Plus he has a moustache. Everybody knows people with moustaches on American TV are gay.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck watching a simpsons

― jess, Wednesday, 28 July 2004 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Flanders wouldn't make sense at all. None of it makes sense. There's no point hinting about Lenny as much as they have done before if it's not going to be him. He did have a wife once tho (we saw her unshaven legs, clue clue). Patty's pretty much taken for a lesbian anyway.

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Duffman.

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

patty's supposed to be a lesbian, isn't she?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i get confused as to which Bouviere sister dated who out of Skinner, Sideshow Bob and Troy McClure

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 11:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, Patty has been semi-outed a couple of times (the only female caught coming out of the Maison Derriere burlesque house)

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

thats right!

― AaronK (AaronK), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG If Homer can do same-sex marriages maybe he'll marry Lenny and Carl. I would like that.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:38 (twenty-two years ago)

It's probably going to be Smithers, you all realize that right?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I like the duffman idea.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Apu

― ___ (___), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

It's not going to be Smithers! And it's not going to be funny!

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree on teh duffman thing

― Porkpie (porkpie), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.trailbosstours.com/pictures/Jump.jpg

http://www.nhptv.org/natureworks/graphics/shark.jpg

― TheRealJMod (TheRealJMod), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I read that as "Simpsons is gay mystery".

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

All the episodes from the most recent season have been funny as fuck. You guys R MINT ALL.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Moe

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Duffman would be good.

"That's right, Duffman likes the fellas...OH YEAH!"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think it'll be Skinner, as they've already exposed one big secret about his life (that he's not really Seymour Skinner, innit).

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Moe is the OTM choice.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

The Sea-Captain, or Otto
I was trying to think who might be lesbian, but there aren't all that many women characters. Also I just realised that Marge doesn't have any friends.

― Joe Kay (feethurt), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

since homer will be presiding over a marriage my first thought is lenny and carl. i like the duffman idea but not nearly as much as i would like for grandpa to come out of the closet.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

If it's a lesbian, I'd say Patty is a lock. Selma Bouviere Terwilliger McClure though likes the yellow 2D cock, obv.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG that kinda rhymed.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Lets wager. Im taking moe for $20.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

smithers.

bah. no wonder i don't watch the show anymore...

altho, perhaps it's Disco Stu

― Kingfish von Bandersnatch (Kingfish), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

my vote is for McBain - he has such nice biceps... sigh

― Anthony (Plato Guy), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

why do so many people like the Duffman idea? how many episodes is he even in? like 3 ever??

― the neurotic awakening of comic book guy (blueski), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Sea Captain also 'outed' in a previous episode. Barney homo-eroticism towards Homer in the Navy episode too. In fact, is there anyone in Springfield who ISN't gay?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 29 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Santa's Little Helper! He's going to marry a box turtle.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

the simpsons is still on?

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

The Sea Captain? Barney?

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Nelson

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Supernintendo Chalmers.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I should have read this before I posted.

How about Krusty?

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

SIDESHOW LUKE PERRY, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

My serious answer would be Milhouse's mom (Luann? Van Houten).

My real answer would be, that if it got him back into another episode, SURLY.

― The Dreaded Rear Admiral (Leee), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

it's obviously Martin

http://www.terra.es/personal/mmb00002/clipart/otros/martin.gif

― common_person (common_person), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha, I read that before the picture loaded (slow dialup), and thought "I'm being outed on the Simpsons???"

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

barney

― Symplistic (shmuel), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Sounds to me like Ice-T is finally going to make that long-promised cameo appearance.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Do it, Tracy, do it!

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

It'll be Hermes.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

It'll be Cleveland.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

It'll be Pip.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

It'll be John Redcorn.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

It'll be Todd.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

It'll be Log.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

It'll be the entire cast of Stressed Eric.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

it better be reverend lovejoy.

I can't see it being pretty much anyone named so far. moe? wouldn't fit the character, to out Moe as gay would be to suggest he has some sort of sex life or sexual awareness and isn't just an insecure but loveable weirdo.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

It'll be Matt Groening's wallet.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)

to out Moe as gay would be to suggest he has some sort of sex life or sexual awareness and isn't just an insecure but loveable weirdo.

In the old Flaming Moe episode he quite clearly gets it on with the barmaid.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Come on, Ned! "Flaming Moe"?

― The Dreaded Rear Admiral (Leee), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

michael stipe

― parakeet_esparanto (parakeetesparanto), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Reagan!

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Come on, Ned! "Flaming Moe"?

Touche.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

No one has mentioned Professor Frink yet, I think.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Frank Grimes' animated corpse

― Kingfish von Bandersnatch (Kingfish), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahah I love you guys.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 29 July 2004 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I suppose it's a good point that whoever it is would have to be marrying a stranger i.e. not an existing character - unless one of the bridegroombrides is Smithers and the other is this closeted dude.

Ronan how can you say 'wouldn't fit the character' re Moe when you're talking about Rev Lovejoy, a happily married priest...oh wait...

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 29 July 2004 08:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Barney may well the most major character who it could be...

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 29 July 2004 09:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Smithers could marry whatever John Waters' character was called

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 29 July 2004 09:06 (twenty-two years ago)

barney was my first guess too, but they already made him give up alcohol, right? two major changes for one minor character seems a bit much.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 29 July 2004 09:14 (twenty-two years ago)

It's NEW SIMPSONS tho JD

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 29 July 2004 09:33 (twenty-two years ago)

like New Baywatch, only shit

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 29 July 2004 09:37 (twenty-two years ago)

It's gonna be Smithers, if for no other reason than that he hasn't officially outed himself to the most of the other charachters.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 29 July 2004 09:58 (twenty-two years ago)

true actually, sure we all know but how many of the characters really know for sure about Smithers? I can't think of any (Dr Hibbert?!). therefore SMithers coming out would still be some news to them if not to us - I would almost appreciate that the writers were thinking about it that sensibly (for once). If it was another character coming out, this would surely just make Smithers realise he was being 'cowardly' staying in the closet himself, and/or give him the courage to come out also. but why i'm applying rational thought to a show this zany and deliberately inconsistent i don't know.

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 29 July 2004 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

At the risk of ruining this guessing game fun, one of the upcoming episode summaries seems to spell it out: http://snpp.com/upcoming.shtml. I'm still hoping it's gonna be Milhouse.

― Vinnie (vprabhu), Thursday, 29 July 2004 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Oooh, but there's a twist!

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 29 July 2004 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

the twist: it was all a crazy dream! omg lol

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 29 July 2004 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't know Joe Montagna did Fat Tony!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 July 2004 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, it's pretty amazing since Fat Tony sometimes just pops up for a line or two here and there, but Mantegna always does the voice. (At least Sideshow Bob only appears like once a year for Kelsey Grammer.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 29 July 2004 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm guessing it's Poochy or Booo-urns. Maybe Gabbo. Fucking puppet.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 29 July 2004 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Another vote for Skinner, to a reader of Andrew Sullivan's blog: http://www.andrewsullivan.com/

"In the entry about the Simpsons character that will be coming out of the closet, you forgot Principal Skinner, who appears to be the obvious (and best) choice. Principal Skinner is a well respected professional male in his mid 40s. He is single (and has never had a serious relationship that we know of), and lives at home with his mother. Like many closeted homosexuals who struggle with their sexual orientation before coming out, Principal Skinner was caught hooking up with Ms. Edna Krabappel, a divorced and desperate co-worker (anyone else's gaydar would have instantly picked up on Skinner's secret). Moreover, he proposed marriage to Selma, Marge's sister, who is obviously a lesbian. His attraction to women is clearly a facade, designed to be an elaborate lie to both fool the community and perhaps even continue to deny his true sexuality.
Moreover, Principal Skinner is obsessed with his image. He sits for endless sessions where his mother sketches his silhouette, and then he tacks the images all around his house. Additionally, he is a very neat and tidy person, always looking presentable and well-kempt, attributes that straight men of his age and situation do not usually personify."

In sum, Andrew, it has becomes obvious that you ignored the most clear-cut choice when predicting which character will come out of the closet. Moreover, given his persuasion as a white, middle-aged, educated man, homosexual man, I would ask that you recommend Principal Skinner for honorary membership in the Log Cabin Republicans."

― stevo (stevo), Thursday, 29 July 2004 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

But Selma is a maneater! She craves manlove - see her sadness at it not working out with Troy and with Bob.

Unless Jub-jub is some lesbian slang I don't know about.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

it's already been revealed as Patty.

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Lisa gets a restraining order against Bart. Gary Busey guests as himself.

hahaha. i so hope he just wanders about the episode.

― Kingfish von Bandersnatch (Kingfish), Thursday, 29 July 2004 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah Patty was one of my choices - and mainly because doing lesbianism is "easier" politically for a show than doing gay guys, I suspect. Which irks me. But then again, this whole concept irks me, and I'm still a fan.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 30 July 2004 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought this was on tonight! It's a repeat! wtf?

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Sunday, 1 August 2004 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

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