There once was a man from Tralee...

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Give us a limerick. The filthier the better.

― Sam, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The first man to fuck little Sophie
Has just won the Krafft-Ebing trophy.
Plus ten thousand quid,
Which, for what the chap did,
Is widely denounced as a low fee.

― Sam, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There was an old feller
Called Weller
Who never used an umbrella
His hair was a mop
And his records a flop
Take them take back to the shop!

― james, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

there once was a couple called Kelly

who got stuck belly to belly

for in their haste, they used library paste

instead of petroleum jelly

― chris, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

On the breasts of a barmaid from Sale
Were tattooed the prices of ale
and on her behind
for the sake of the blind
was the same information in Braille

Young Hamlet thought Uncle a traitor
for havingit off with his mater
Avenge Dad or not?
That's the gist of the plot
and he does, nine soliloquies later.

― Will, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If my insane grandpa knew how to use the modern interweb he would ROOL this thread but sadly he doesn't, and I can't remember any of his as he only ever recites them at dinner when he's had a few and thinks that 'the children' i.e. me and my 24 year old brother aren't there. Oh well.

― Emma, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There was plenty of good-natured chaff
When we popped in to fuck the giraffe.
The PRZS*
Could hardly suppress
A dry professorial laugh.

*President of the Royal Zoological Society.

― Sam, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A young girl who came from Lahore
Would lie on a rug on your floor.
In a manner uncanny
She'd wiggle her fanny
And drain your balls dry to their core

There was a young couple called Bright
Who made love much faster then light.
They started one day
In the relative way
And came on the previous night.

There once was a man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two.

― Kodanshi, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A faggot who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom!

― dave q, Saturday, 10 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There was an old man called Maconie, Whose historical musings were phoney, 'I won't make amends'' Bleated Stuart to his friends 'Cause a kissass will never be lonely'

― , Saturday, 10 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What Sam said.

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 10 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

Ein Fräulein im Amt von Bordeaux

War einmal noch spät im Bureaux

Ihr Chef hat diktiert

Und mehr noch probiert

Sie floh voller Panik durchs Kleaux

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 11 September 2003 06:05 (twenty-two years ago)

four weeks pass...

There was a young man from Bengwosham
Who took out his balls to wash'em
His wife said Jack if you dont put 'em back
I'll stand on the buggers and squash'em!!

― John Tootell, Thursday, 9 October 2003 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

There was an old woman from Madrid
Who had never been fucked or rid
Along came an Italian
With balls like a stallion
And he fucked her and fucked her, he did!

― Michael B, Thursday, 9 October 2003 11:52 (twenty-two years ago)

six months pass...

There once was a hooker named sue.
who fillde her vagina with glue.
she said with a grin,
you must pay to get in,
but now you must to get out too!

― spens, Friday, 16 April 2004 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

hmm. how bout

...
but to get out you must use a tool.

― AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 16 April 2004 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

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