Lindsay Lohan: "Hot, Ready, and Legal!"

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so sayeth Rolling Stone!

http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/cms/2004/other/Homepage_-_Lindsay_Lohan_cover_story_top_artwork.6383941.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Are the Olson twins legal yet? I've forgotten.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Has Wenner just finally given up and done one too many Reddi-Whip hits?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

if Wenner was running the show it'd be Ashton Kutcher: "Hot, Ready, and Legal!"

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Wenner can eat a dick.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

They sure are, TR!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

A'ight now Ned, don't be knockin' the Redi-Whip!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Wenner would probably gladly eat a dick, no?

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

POLL: HOW MANY TIMES WILL I CLICK ON THIS THREAD TODAY?

― dean? (deangulberry), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

So far, 8. I'm willing to bet that it will be somewhere around 47 or 48.

― dean? (deangulberry), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

THOUSAND! HI-YO!

― dean? (deangulberry), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, "Refresh".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

One time, for the thread will remain up on your screen all day. You will refresh your screen 2193 times, however.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Wenner's whole purpose with Rolling Stone now is to get enough money to build a time machine so he can go back to 1965 and have sex with a young Mick Jagger.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope we're not harshing the voibe by posting about Wenner but c'mon even Dave Geffen dated Cher, right?

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

RS doesn't seem to have really given a shit about music since before I was born.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm hot, ready and legal: where's my Rolling Stone cover?????

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

highway legal!

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to see a photo of Rosemary posing exactly like LL up there. then photoshopping can do the rest.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I just clicked on the arrow on the pic twice in futility.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Didn't work did it?

― TheRealJMod (TheRealJMod), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf do all of these new teenybopper disneykins have to record damn songs? i blame j-lo.

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll do it at the next FAP where someone had a camera, Gear.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

NB: Clicking on her tongue doesn't do anything, either.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

From the article: On reaching voting age: "I'm not very politically involved. And I don't like to talk about it. I mean, if you say you're a Democrat, that'll turn off Republicans and that's half your fan base."

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

See I'm hot, ready, and legal too.

http://photos.friendster.com/photos/90/38/6718309/5048451319006l.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

well, ready and legal anyway

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Lindsay kinda looks like Celine Dion up there.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story?id=6388250

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I'm sort of cold today. It's rainy and damp. Although I think I have a fever, so maybe I am hot after all.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

are you READY for some LEGAL fever medication?

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

OH BOY NYQUIL SHOTS TONIGHT!!!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"Lindsay Lohan has been eighteen for just under a week when she tells me her breasts are real. I did not ask (gentlemen never do), though my reporting (discreet visual fact-checking, a goodbye hug) seems to confirm her statement."

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

does lindsay work for www.teenstogetbrokeninto.com or something?

i have no idea who she is.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

That "reporting" comment is too fucking coy for words.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Who wrote the story, and can we abuse them?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

click on the link.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"wrote"

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

click on the link

Frightening thought.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Rosemary I've got lots of Nyquil! I'll ship it overnight.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

don't blame me, Ned.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 19:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, so YOU wrote it!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 19:00 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.kimkimdir.gen.tr/foto/2905.jpg

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I could think of a better pseudonym than MARK BINELLI.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

haha, i thought the quote from the intro in this thread was a piss-take.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

It sounds like Ms. Lohan has a wonderful homelife!

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Forget those rumors about her breasts. Lindsay Lohan has risen to the top of the teen-star crop by keeping it real

― Kingfish von Bandersnatch (Kingfish), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Does that mean she only has one breast, but it's real?

― Huck, Wednesday, 28 July 2004 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/004124.html
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/004161.html

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish Lindsay would quit it with the spray tan.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 5424 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

"THIS IS our president. Stop #bullying him & start trusting him. Thank you personally for supporting #THEUSA
— Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) July 4, 2017"

http://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/the-wrap/article/Lindsay-Lohan-Defends-President-Trump-Stop-11267405.php

― akm, Wednesday, 5 July 2017 18:18 (eight years ago)

Wonder if she's read the quote four posts above. Celebity ouroboros.

― the body of a spider... (scampering alpaca), Thursday, 6 July 2017 01:12 (eight years ago)

I expected better judgment from Lindsay Lohan, very disappointed

― Karl Malone, Thursday, 6 July 2017 01:17 (eight years ago)

Jesus God that Trump quote from Stern.

― Treeship, Thursday, 6 July 2017 01:32 (eight years ago)

one year passes...

Been quiet, thesedays...

― Mark G, Friday, 6 July 2018 14:51 (seven years ago)

It's been a whole week since a fawning NYT profile about her, and a day since she allegedly bragged at having a rival nightclub shut down for tax evasion

― kelp, clam and carrion (sic), Friday, 6 July 2018 15:06 (seven years ago)

Hot, Ready, and Snitchin'

― Making Plans For Sturgill (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 7 July 2018 23:36 (seven years ago)

sic’s lilo google alerts finally pay off

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 7 July 2018 23:38 (seven years ago)

lilo & sic

― repartee is deft (darraghmac), Saturday, 7 July 2018 23:49 (seven years ago)

two months pass...

"Lindsay Lohan, speaking in Middle Eastern accent, tries to kidnap homeless kids and gets punched in face"

― Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 3 October 2018 18:13 (seven years ago)

headline undersells it, if anything

― shrek and han solo kinda dress the same (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 3 October 2018 18:51 (seven years ago)

TAGS :
LINDSAY LOHAN
WTF

― Mark G, Wednesday, 3 October 2018 19:37 (seven years ago)

you know, i wonder....actually you know what, never mind. 2018.

― omar little, Wednesday, 3 October 2018 19:50 (seven years ago)

three months pass...

https://themuse.jezebel.com/no-one-is-safe-in-lindsay-lohans-beach-club-1831468826

― vision joanna newsom (Stevie D(eux)), Sunday, 6 January 2019 23:23 (seven years ago)

This show is full of awful, terrible obnoxious Instagram types AND I LOVE IT

― boxedjoy, Wednesday, 9 January 2019 19:28 (seven years ago)

somehow i ended up watching this. She is so fucking weird

― (•̪●) (carne asada), Thursday, 10 January 2019 17:23 (seven years ago)

fame is a helluva drug

― sans lep (sic), Thursday, 10 January 2019 18:35 (seven years ago)

i think she's intersting and i'm glad she's back on the radar. she's really the marilyn of our times

― rip van wanko, Thursday, 10 January 2019 18:39 (seven years ago)

wow this was really fucked up i didn't know this

There’s also the aforementioned accent, which Lohan most recently displayed when she live-streamed a video of herself getting into a physical altercation with a homeless family. It’s not surprising that Lohan and her family have turned, again and again, to reality television as a means of extending their frenetic brand of fame; it’s only notable that they haven’t yet fully succeeded.

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 11 January 2019 16:15 (seven years ago)

the accent is hilarious. It's like this girl I went to school with who put on this mad accent to speak to her German exchange partner.

― kinder, Friday, 11 January 2019 18:16 (seven years ago)

Nothing is funny about this. She was a totally normal kid who was tortured by the media in her formative years abd now she seems odd and dissociative.

― Trϵϵship, Friday, 11 January 2019 18:31 (seven years ago)

and when she dies everyone will say what a tragedy it was and wonder if they were complicit or not

― Οὖτις, Friday, 11 January 2019 18:38 (seven years ago)

Her mom and dad being extremely bad people probably played a huge role.

― Nerdstrom Poindexter, Friday, 11 January 2019 18:43 (seven years ago)

and her being a child actor then young woman actor in hollywood

― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Friday, 11 January 2019 18:46 (seven years ago)

Yeah true

― Nerdstrom Poindexter, Friday, 11 January 2019 19:23 (seven years ago)

really weird thing when former child actors or young women actors end up "troubled" as they get older and everyone reaches for some bromides about "too much too young", the pressures of fame, the media glare etc. when the elephant in the room is abuse, exploitation, neglect

― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Friday, 11 January 2019 19:27 (seven years ago)

Yup. Hollywood teems with young Lohans and abusive stage parents, but also with Weinsteins and Polanskis.

― A is for (Aimless), Friday, 11 January 2019 19:32 (seven years ago)

abuse, exploitation

this is fame

― sans lep (sic), Friday, 11 January 2019 19:37 (seven years ago)

(in this context)

― sans lep (sic), Friday, 11 January 2019 19:38 (seven years ago)

I feel like people’s addiction shouldn’t be treated as entertainment, which lindsay’s was back in the mid-00s. No one treats other diseases like this.

― Trϵϵship, Friday, 11 January 2019 20:52 (seven years ago)

It’s always amazing to me how heartless tabloid culture is. Like if I read the top voted comment on any daily mail article—not something I do often—but it’s always coming from this perspective of no compassion whatsoever.

― Trϵϵship, Friday, 11 January 2019 20:54 (seven years ago)

Because they get held up as role models when they are young, then any transgression is held up to ridicule and is not tolerated.

Amber and Alice would take an interest in what LL would do, but they could understand bad behaviour does no good.

― Mark G, Friday, 11 January 2019 21:06 (seven years ago)

I think there’s a darker thing at work. I think people enjoy watching someone struggle—especially a rich, beautiful etc. person—a “serves them right” attitude. In the end that tabloid stuff is consumed as entertainment.

― Trϵϵship, Friday, 11 January 2019 21:08 (seven years ago)

But also some people are famous, young AND awful

― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Saturday, 12 January 2019 08:34 (seven years ago)

six months pass...

What’s going on between Lindsay Lohan and the crown prince of Saudi Arabia? https://t.co/QtuByRhOqW pic.twitter.com/F4d9TGqDFi
— Page Six (@PageSix) August 5, 2019

― ... (Eazy), Monday, 5 August 2019 18:11 (six years ago)

^^ Deep cover

― ... (Eazy), Tuesday, 6 August 2019 04:16 (six years ago)

A Lohan pal also pointed out that before the gruesome killing of Washington Post journalist Khashoggi in the Saudi embassy in Istanbul, Turkey, last October, MbS — who took office in 2017 — had been touted as a modernizing force in Saudi Arabia who would push for women’s rights, among other things.

this lohan pal makes some interesting points

― Karl Malone, Tuesday, 6 August 2019 04:32 (six years ago)

Her biopic is gonna be bananas.

― frustration and wonky passion (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 6 August 2019 04:50 (six years ago)

A Lohan pal also pointed out that before the gruesome killing of Washington Post journalist Khashoggi in the Saudi embassy in Istanbul, Turkey, last October, MbS — who took office in 2017 — had been touted as a modernizing force in Saudi Arabia who would push for women’s rights, among other things.

reminds me of that old "....but you fuck one sheep" joke

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 6 August 2019 12:28 (six years ago)

one month passes...

https://pagesix.com/2019/09/20/lindsay-lohan-reveals-shes-single/

― j., Saturday, 21 September 2019 23:18 (six years ago)

one year passes...

Now that I’m thinking about it, what are your guys’ must read “oh my god people wrote this?!” instructively cruel celeb profiles of the 2000s? I’d love to compile a list of TEACHABLE MOMENTS. To start: Lindsay Lohan as Rolling Stone IT GIRL 2004 https://t.co/Ftfs9eh9fC
— Jordan Crucchiola (@JorCru) February 7, 2021

― "what are you DOING to fleetwood mac??" (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 00:34 (five years ago)

she's not wrong

― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 02:49 (five years ago)

Thread now complete

― Mark G, Tuesday, 9 February 2021 08:41 (five years ago)

yikes that article is fucking vile

― Warmed Regards, (Stevie D(eux)), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 17:08 (five years ago)

yeah the opening paragraphs are truly disgusting

― mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 17:22 (five years ago)

If you really want to take a deep dive into gross Y2K teachable moments, I recommend this NYT Spears doc on Hulu:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXG28S8cAJU

― Darin, Tuesday, 9 February 2021 18:07 (five years ago)

shouts to jaymc for highlighting that opening when the thread first happened

― shivers me timber (sic), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 18:29 (five years ago)

three weeks pass...

“It was a horrible time for young women in popular culture,” Binelli said. Though he’s sure his Lohan story received zero pushback from his editors or his readers and “seemed funny and edgy to me at the time,” he no longer finds it so. “Reading the story today makes me cringe and I deeply regret writing it and any other ways in which I participated in the rampant misogyny of the media landscape at the time.”
“However much I’d told myself I was making some kind of meta-commentary on the sexist culture of the day,” he said. “I was very clearly also perpetuating it.”

― grab bag cum trash bag (sic), Wednesday, 3 March 2021 05:19 (five years ago)

There is shit I wrote back then which... well, not nearly as bad as that Lohan article but it was such a fucking GIVEN that if you were writing journalism and a woman appeared you were supposed to signal to the reader how hot they were supposed to find her, it's really messed up

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 3 March 2021 06:18 (five years ago)

Baby Sinclair: All Grown up and Feeling Nasty https://t.co/4lEPqrZzqq pic.twitter.com/Nu84cLgkt4
— The Hard Times (@REALpunknews) March 4, 2021

― lukas, Friday, 5 March 2021 15:44 (five years ago)

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