The Lifetime channel

By default she has to be the queen of camp now.

MOTHER, MAY I SLEEP WITH DANGER?

A naive female college student (Tori Spelling) falls in love with a charming pathological liar, credit card scammer and murderer. When her mother attempts to break up the relationship, the psycho boyfriend abducts the daughter and hides her in his cabin in the woods.

Vivian is determined to fulfill her estranged husband's dying wish to deliver his secret invention to the Pentagon. It's a complete surprise when she discovers that she has been transporting a nuclear bomb! This heart-thumping drama stars Martin Sheen, Chris Noth, Gail O'Grady and Lori Loughlin.

this really is, hands down, the greatest title of all time.

"Deceived by Trust: A Moment of Truth Movie"

A fashion designer (Melissa Gilbert)undergoes hypnotherapy and discovers that she was murdered in San Francisco in a past life. She travels to San Francisco to investigate the crime.

PATRON SAINT OF LIARS
Director: Stephen Gyllenhaal
Year film was made: 1998
Genre: Drama
Stars: Dana Delany, Ellen Burstyn and John Putch
An unhappy pregnant woman abandons her husband in California and runs off to a remote Kentucky home for unwed mothers. She then falls in love with the handyman and marries him, despite already being married. After she leaves her second husband 15 years later, her first husband finds her.

http://www.lifetimetv.com/movies/info/move2527.html
http://www.lifetimetv.com/movies/info/move3237.html

i dunno, IS it maggie's dad? i didn't know he was a director, if he is.

Stars: Kim Delaney, Thomas Gibson, Matthew Lillard and Colleen Flynn
Nikki has the ideal life until a deal her mother made with the devil 20 years ago begins to wreak havoc. Will Nikki have to pay the price for her mom's mistakes?

or do i?

hee hee. like a plotline from a Twin Peaks ep or somethin'

Stars: Rob Estes, Shannon Sturges and David Soul
Torrential rains cause a dam to burst, flooding a community and trapping a group of people in a shopping mall. Forced to band together to survive, they are torn apart when they discover that one of them is an escaped killer.

whoa. they'll never stop finding new ways to re-do "Lifeboat"

Matt cheats on his wife, Ann, with their son's baby-sitter. When Ann discovers that the girl is pregnant, she secretly plots her death.

i need a copy of this film bad. apparently it's all tied up in rights conflicts. it was actually pulled from wide distribution because people accused of it of being racist (!!).

when does Side Order of Life come back?

I don't think I've ever watched any of their original shows, they looked kind of Canadian and off-putting.

I haven't watched a lot of Lifetime but I'm trying to figure out what this would mean. PC? Less-than-high-budget?

Sundar on Saturday, 17 March 2007 17:44 (Yesterday)

lol, i was chuckling at this and was going to post something. I think it means dorky, low-budget, non-slick

yeah. cumatively i've watched many hours of that horrifically chessy multiculti cop show because i'm too lazy to change after golden girlss. That black/puerto rican whatever chick gets on my fucking nerves.

Lifetime is pretty gay. The only worthwile thing is the Golden Girls reruns. Occasionally there's a awesomely bad made for tv movie, but overall Oxygen is much better. Bad Girls Club AND Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency!!

omg that Rosie clip. How could I never have seen that movie!? It's not even that funny but for some reason one of my favorite LM titles is "Half a Dozen Babies" about a lady that had sextuplets.

Viewed last night:

"Our Guys": Football players are accused of gang raping a mentally challenged girl.

Investigators: Ally Sheedy, Eric Stoltz
Mentally challenged girl: Heather Matarazzo

Verdict: A+++, but actually quite depressing rather than funny.

I could laugh at the movie where Hilary Swank abuses her mother, Joanna Kerns. But this story was just too sad.

This weekend is "wild teens" weekend or something, so keep your eyes open!

Looks like that was the DVD title. The TV listings said "Outrage in Glen Ridge"

(but honestly it was quite depressing...hard to watch bad things happen to dawn wiener)

PS it is on again RIGHT NOW

Homeless to Harvard FTW

some woman almost just got choked on Lifetime Movie Network

she was trying to attack an intruder with a bat, but he ducked and then choked her with it

have we talked about how Lifetime is supposedly stealing Project Runway from Bravo???

Did anyone see the highly entertaining new Lifetime original movie "Confessions of a Go-Go Girl"? That gave me one blessed afternoon of pleasure last week.

The "bad girl" in it dies while getting breast implant surgery.

Homeless to Harvard FTW

-- milo z, Friday, April 4, 2008

They should do a docudrama about this.

lifetime loves twitter

Drop Dead Diva's pretty rad

i've been meaning to give it a try

Did anyone see the highly entertaining new Lifetime original movie "Confessions of a Go-Go Girl"? That gave me one blessed afternoon of pleasure last week.

― Abbott, Wednesday, August 20, 2008 5:02 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark

I did! Corbin Bernsen was so disgusting in this movie!!

http://blog.kydj.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Bernsen1.bmp

Fortunately for you, this entire movie starring Judith Light and Jack Wagner as they have a torrid affair (and Tracey Gold getting wrapped up in it!) is available on youtube. Recommended.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEMJ0p6y8Zg

Judith Light plays a woman stalked by a man obssessed with her whom she once had an affair with.

Rob Lowe is DREW PETERSON in

UNTOUCHABLE

http://www.mylifetime.com/movies/drew-peterson-untouchable

premiere this weekend!

God I used to watch so much Lifetime.

Do you remember the really violent Lifetime movie where Jo from Facts of Life played a woman whose husband killed her? The death scene was ridiculously brutal. He killed her on the front lawn in front of a bunch of people. It was insane.

I don't know if I've seen that one?! I remember one where Corbin Bernsen was a really scary and abusive husband. And also another one where Corbin Bernsen was a majorly skeevy go-go dancing club owner.

Drew Peterson is really disgusting, so I hope this is ott.

Ok, I watched it. Rob Lowe/Drew P was unfathomably repulsive, but familiar. His accent was right on too, even understated. He seemed like the kind of boastful asshole who peaked in 7th grade and spent the rest of his life cultivating a really cartoonish predatory machismo. They gave Rob Lowe a little belly pooch too. Nice touch.

DP's reaction:

"He thought it was hysterical," said Peterson's lead defense attorney, Joel Brodsky. "He chuckled at all of the inaccuracies and things that never happened."

Even if 3/4 of it was exaggerated, the other 1/4 would still land him squarely in the DSM. Honestly I didn't really find it that funny or even campy -- it was sensational and somewhat splashy, but not even in the ballpark of the best Lifetime movies, like the one where Hilary Swank abuses her parents and gets taken to jail and plays a tambourine in her boyfriend's horrible band while her preteen brother swigs vodka in his bedroom.

http://www.avclub.com/articles/lifetime-to-explore-the-more-feminine-less-interes,75738/

Lifetime to explore the more feminine, less interesting side of Silence Of The Lambs

By Sean O'Neal May 29, 2012
Bridging the gap between the network's women-in-peril past and the strong-female-leads-and-masturbation of The Client List, Lifetime is developing Clarice, a Silence Of The Lambs spinoff that milks the Thomas Harris franchise for Lifetime's own greedy self-gratification, no matter how spent and exhausted it may be. This, of course, arrives in the wake of NBC making its own plans for Bryan Fuller's Hannibal, a Lambs prequel that follows the narrowly defined early days of the cannibal psychiatrist as he aids and occasionally eats the police. Lifetime's version will drag out the similarly already-inferred story immediately following Lambs by turning it into a standard crime procedural, picking up Clarice Starling's story once she graduates from the FBI academy and moves on to tracking other killers without being dragged down by the series' far more interesting character. ("This reminds me of the time I was having a particularly fascinating tête à tête with Dr. L—," Clarice will start to flashback, only to be interrupted time and again by a sudden phone call.) The onus is now on Animal Planet to create a series exploring the dog's-eye-view of Buffalo Bill's dog Precious.  

I wonder why the A/V club is so invested in Lifetime movies? http://www.avclub.com/articles/tall-hot-blonde,81708/

Tall Hot Blonde is the latest in an unofficial series of Lifetime TV-movies about the real-life dangers of the Internet. (It was preceded by The Wife He Met Online, The Boy She Met Online, and the instant classic Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life, in which Kelly Lynch’s level-headed, clean-living teenage son gets a taste of Internet porn and goes full Bob Crane, maxing out every credit card and hacking into every computer he can get his hands on in search of that sweet, sweet virtual stuff. Lifetime devoted the afternoon leading up to the premiere of Tall Hot Blonde to a marathon of these earlier films, demonstrating an admirable pride in its own contribution to cheese in our time.)

Laura San Giacomo was amazing as the aggrieved wife/mom in Tall Hot Blonde, C Cox looks weird though :(. The Boy She Met Online was not very good.

SOCIAL NIGHTMARE -- recommended!! This will look super dated in about 35 seconds, excellent for authentically unintelligible teenspeak, A+ for nu-Lifetime
http://www.mylifetime.com/movies/social-nightmare

Starring: Kristen Prout, Darryl Hannah

An A-student's life is turned upside-down when inappropriate status updates and photos appear on her online profile. She claims she is being set up, but no one believes her. Her only solace during this crisis is her mother, although even she admits that she's not looking forward to being all alone once her daughter leaves for college. Now she must figure out who is hacking her profile before her reputation and chance to get into a good college are ruined. Maybe it's her ex-boyfriend, a jealous friend competing for the same scholarship or someone far more dangerous than she could have ever imagined.

Amazing.

that's the first thing to even sound like it could be as good as Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life was

One of the websites that ruins her life is called BuddyMe.

My money is on "someone far more dangerous than she could have ever imagined."

Rosie O'Donnell

http://s4.tvequals.com/tv/up/2013/08/Social-Nightmare-Lifetime-10-550x366.jpg
http://www.tvequals.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Social-Nightmare-Lifetime-09-550x366.jpg
http://s1.tvequals.com/tv/up/2013/08/Social-Nightmare-Lifetime-01-550x366.jpg

The teen movies are CLASSIC, they remind me of teen movies from the seventies or eighties. They had a teen movie marathon recently.

Anyone catch "Triple Dog" about a girls' daring game gone wrong? One girl pees on the neighbor's porch...where are the morals police?

Did anyone else watch Petals on the Wind?! I read it as a kid and remember it being pretty ott wrt incest, but the movie was even crazier than I remember. It was basically a plot twist every 30 seconds. The actress who played Cathy (Sally Draper was replaced) summoned her inner Britt Eckland to remarkable effect. If this movie weren't so totally enjoyable to watch, I'd say it was repulsive but it was beautifully shot and well cast and the actors were on the right side of the uncanny valley.

the trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TspcQBbQWnM&feature=kp

Also Heather Graham was perfect as Corinne.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/style-blog/wp/2015/01/15/from-guilty-pleasure-to-emmy-awards-the-delightfully-weird-history-of-lifetime-movies

I watch this channel and the Hallmark channel quite a bit now that I am living back at home with my mom. There is something very unsettling about these movies, which seem to have been made in a parallel America, where filmmakers don’t need to anticipate a critical audience. In addition to the obvious — the casts are almost all white, rich, etc — there are stranger discrepancies. For instance, there is a series on the Hallmark channel set in an early 20th century Canadian frontier town where the characters are all super clean, inhabit immaculate houses, and wear clothes that are only vaguely archaic and always always pressed. None of the hairstyles are even remotely old fashioned.

welcome to women's programming

I kind of like it. The movies are like soap operas where nothing truly bad can ever happen. Narrative drained of any tension that is uncomfortable, only retaining enough for the movie to be legible as a story.

Automatons living in a Pottery Barn universe.

Unreal is p good

Watching the Hallmark Channel with aging mom right now. The bland consistency of the product is kind of mind-boggling.

hallmark movies sometimes barely cohere. i love watching them

they are also often completely bonkers

A friend of mine has written a few!

And has your friend revealed the secret formula to you?

You could probably have guessed - the title comes first.

Ah, so? So he gets an email saying “‘The Christmas Bookstore Mystery Romance,’ 95 minutes, you have 14 days for first draft.”

Actually I believe he came up with the pitches himself!

One time I was with mom watching one of these and simultaneously emailing an ex-ilxor as each new plot point was revealed.

Well

Mark your calendars because Lifetime and @KFC have partnered for a Lifetime Original Mini-Movie you don't want to miss! "A Recipe For Seduction" starring @MarioLopezviva premieres Sunday at 12PM. pic.twitter.com/nZJ2PXUR6G

— Lifetime (@lifetimetv) December 7, 2020