"i was just joking!!!"

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what does it mean when someone uses this as an excuse after they do something annoying/rude/offensive? is it sometimes valid? or just a way of weaselling out of facing the consequences?

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 22:58 (twenty years ago)

100% weasel

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 22:59 (twenty years ago)

"I meant every word and it felt great to finally say it to your face without suffering the consequences!!"

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 22:59 (twenty years ago)

it's a good way to make it clear that you're unable to help from pointing out a foible/being rude/honest/whatever but still hold the person in some level of respect or fondness.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 23:00 (twenty years ago)

I must confess this is something I do all the time.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 23:00 (twenty years ago)

"No offence!"

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 23:00 (twenty years ago)

It can be attempt to defuse the situation after someone has taken something much too personally. You cunt.

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 23:01 (twenty years ago)

With the greatest respect, you're a humourless prick.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 23:02 (twenty years ago)

http://www.gijs.com/~gepping/images/triumph.gif

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 23:05 (twenty years ago)

I have said it to try to defuse an awful situation when I have hit on someone's sensitive spot after a throwaway teasing comment.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 23:06 (twenty years ago)

I do this a lot, because half the time I AM joking.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 23:07 (twenty years ago)

i say this all the time. sometimes i even mean it.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 23:07 (twenty years ago)

U R ALL GAY

I am not even joking.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 23:11 (twenty years ago)

In an ILX-type context, as a face-saving device after you've made an A-grade goose of yourself: as lame as lame gets, and last believed about half an hour after the net forum was invented.

In other contexts: not often much different. Wasn't that Fawlty's excuse in the 'Don't Mention The War' episode?

Too often it's a way of dumpmastering valid protests at insensitive or boorish behavior.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 23:17 (twenty years ago)

No, people are always lying when they say this. Don't believe them. Always assume that someone is operating under the most hateful, evil thought processes possible. Do not let them try to "get away with one". Stick up for yourself and don't let them diffuse the situation. People are never joking. Everything is serious, and you should live your life constantly questioning the face-value of what people, esp your friends, tell you.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 29 July 2004 00:44 (twenty years ago)

vs "its not my fault, its just the way i am"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 29 July 2004 00:47 (twenty years ago)

'I was just joking' definately wins, for so many reasons.

― Wooden (Wooden), Thursday, 29 July 2004 01:08 (twenty years ago)

vs "I was only trying to scare them!"

― dave q, Thursday, 29 July 2004 01:20 (twenty years ago)

honestly, i do often make jokes that people don't seem to get as jokes. the "i was just joking" clause is awkward but necessary in those cases. it does make whoever is saying it look like a chump, but it's mildly better than everyone thinking you just insulted them.

on the other hand, i have to own up to occasionally taking advantage of the gray area between a criticism/putdown and a joke.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 29 July 2004 02:21 (twenty years ago)

this explains why i have so many friends!

― amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 29 July 2004 02:22 (twenty years ago)

oops - but surely "i'm sorry" is the way to diffuse the situation? even though that's just a platitude also, i wouldn't be questioning it. "i was just joking" is more like "you're so humourless for taking offence!"

but whatever...

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Thursday, 29 July 2004 09:57 (twenty years ago)

Then again you have people like my sister who do not even understand the concept of irony or sarcasm and will lay into you and even break your thumbs off if you so much as utter a witty remark.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 29 July 2004 10:09 (twenty years ago)

Mouthy - don't you dare!

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 29 July 2004 10:09 (twenty years ago)

Putting three exclamation marks after the 'I was just joking' would work much better as a self-righteous whinge than an apology or an attempt at diffusing.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 29 July 2004 10:11 (twenty years ago)

I think in person this can sometimes be valid... On the internet, I've seen it used far too often as a defence after someone gets called out for trolling, general bigotted nastiness etc. "It was a JOKE - why don't you get a sense of humour?" (meaning "the same sense of humour as me") is often followed by "and stop being so PC!!!"

― Flyboy (Flyboy), Thursday, 29 July 2004 11:42 (twenty years ago)

That's a good point, Kilian, but saying "I'm sorry" is admitting that you weren't, in fact, joking. Obviously, if you weren't joking, you should say "I'm sorry", but oftentimes "I'm sorry" isn't good enough for people (understandably so) and could therefore escalate things more than "I was just joking".

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 29 July 2004 17:41 (twenty years ago)

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