Examples of people you know who talk loudly about being an expert on a certain subject but in fact are not remotely knowledgable

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I was out at a bar last night and ran into some old friends from college. Among their group was another person I went to school with, who is now a music writer for a couple of entertainment publications in Los Angeles. I think I must have heard him utter the phrase "I know a lot about music" half a dozen times in two hours. Me and another fellow started in about Herbie Hancock and Dexter Gordon or something and he sort of stood there saying nothing. Then another girl I'm acquainted with came over and started talking about Tom Petty and Coldplay and he held up his hand and said "Yo, high five. As someone whose job it is to be an expert about music, I give you props!" Then he went on about Wilco being the greatest American rock band since the Beach Boys or something, etc etc. The other guy I was with asked him "but what about Television?" and he goes "TV? We're talking music here!"

That sort of ended that.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

oh jesus.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

No NO! We need people like this!

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

at least they're entertaining.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

The bad part is people always tell him "you know more about music than anyone!" strictly because he's a music writer and always talks about the Flaming Lips.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

In my teens, my friends would always introduce me to pretty girls by saying "This is Adam. he knows EVERYTHING about music".

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Were they trying to cock block you?

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

...I don't know.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

that guy in annie hall going on about marshall mcluhan to thread.

xpost - oh, god. my friend introduced me to her cute juvenile delinquent brother by saying, "this is lauren. she's very well-read."

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

The bad part is people always tell him "you know more about music than anyone!" strictly because he's a music writer and always talks about the Flaming Lips.

Oh jeez, I am worried because my ladyfriend says this a lot to me, but I'm not really a music writer and could care less about the Flaming Lips (and know who Herbie Hancock and Dexter Gordon are).

In general, is that a backhanded compliment? (should that be a whole other thread?)

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

HEY! I'M AN EXPERT ON PALEONTOLOGY AND 19th CENTURY FRENCH FOREIGN POLICY! HEY! I ALSO KNOW A LOT ABOUT THE ROLE OF BACTERIA IN FOOD PRODUCTION! HEY!

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear, you would never have posted this thread if you had attended an FAP!

;)

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahaha! That shut everyone up.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Not me. Gear has to attend the Saturday FAP now.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

You should have whacked him in the nuts and asked him "how you like them apples."

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I was playing DVD Trivial Pursuit at a party once and the question was "Captain Beefhearts real name is?" I answered it and the people were in awe. Gimmee a break.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to get "you know so much about music" a lot. Now I like too much mainstream bullshit to get that compliment. I regret nothing.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"This is Anthony. He has two CDRs FULL of Good Charlotte studio outtakes".

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

*makes dope gang hand gestures*

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

"Yo, high five. As someone whose job it is to be an expert about music, I give you props!"

i can't imagine anyone actually saying this, in any context.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear lives in LA.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear's threads are like Jane Gooddall documentaries minus any compassion whatsoever for Koko and the gang.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, that wins.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I was seeing this girl a while back who always refered to me as a "music nazi." Because I didn't want to hear Pat Benatar EVERY time we, uh, you know.

xpost galore

― Huck, Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Koko and The Gang had some pretty catchy tunes, Mr. Music-Expert.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I get "music nazi" as well.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I was called "music nazi" in high school. You like that band? NO MUSIC FOR YOU!

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Strange..I was called "music GURU".

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I got called "music nazi" in college as well, but it may have had extra resonance since I booked all the bands there and wrote a music column in the school paper.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I think part of the reason Jim DeRogatis bugs me so much is that he reminds me too much of me...when I was an adolescent who couldn't talk to girls.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I think part of the reason she called me a music nazi was that I invaded Poland. With Beefheart bootlegs!

― Huck, Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I held yoga classes where all of my disciples listened to Arcwelder.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Or was it killdozer? Or Love battery?

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

If you have to preface a high-five by saying "Yo, high five!", under no circumstances whatsoever do you actually deserve that high-five.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

When was the last time you gave someone a high-five and what was it for?

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I high-fived Phil-two for liking Smashmouth at that July 4th FAP last year. I forget if I said "yo, high five!" but since the high-five was atypical enough I may well have.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I know so many music writer people like this. I fucking hate them and the bad part is I feel guilty because to non freaks who aren't me they're probably nice people. I like them apart from that aspect, probably.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh and I also get "guru". And "snob" from some people but they are scum.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

As a teenager, I went to a barmitzvah where I sat at a table with a group of peers who assumed I knew nothing whatsoever about music simply because I had no opinions on either Skid Row or Bon Jovi. If only I could go back to that day now...

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

One of the girls there also once saw that I had a Pet Shop Boys CD and said "Oh, the Pet Shop Boys! I haven't listened to them since I was like FOURTEEN!".

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Thursday, 29 July 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

i feign dumbness now about music. then i can pretend i have everything to learn (not saying i know it all but that its better than seeming like a pompous know it all).

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Thursday, 29 July 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

You had my sympathy until you said "but what about Television?"

― dean? (deangulberry), Thursday, 29 July 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

It was heavily implied recently that I am never allowed to play the Pet Shop Boys again at work, in the morning meeting.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 July 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

the worst thing is when people like guy who didnt know the difference between television/the small box in your living room encourage people to think they DO know it all or blather on and on about how they are a music expert.

― thesplooge (thesplooge), Thursday, 29 July 2004 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate when you have a conversation with someone and they have all these instant controversial views, like you mention an album and they'll go "OH IT'S RUBBISH, CRAP ABSOLUTE CRAP" randomly and there's no pattern or anything to any of their spouting.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 29 July 2004 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I love being around d00dz like Gear!'s acquaintance though, cuz then, when we're talking about music, it makes me look like the total fucking Ken Jennings of the conversation.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 July 2004 17:06 (twenty-one years ago)

usually if I'm caught with someone undeservedly self-impressed with their music knowledge I'll drop some a-bomb of trivia about the band in question and then try to steer the conversation towards something more rewarding (like how fucked up they got last night). It doesn't always work.

"aw, man, you've got to hear the Stooges, Anthony! They're so badass! They were the godfathers of punk, Lou Reed being the grandfather of course..."

"yeah I think my favorite Stooges song is I Got A Right, which they made after Raw Power. So what did you do last night?"

"yeah, but do you have Fun House?"

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 29 July 2004 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

xposts:

- What's crazy is that the guy actually DID say it, but I think me also might have been trying to get laid because the girl resembles Katie Holmes

- He also looks very much like Jim DeRogatis, with a touch of Oliver Platt

- It was the other guy who asked "what about Television?" I don't like Television enough to bring 'em up like that.

- also, I don't know anyone IRL who shares my musical taste at all. Try talking about the Oblivians with people in L.A. and see where that gets you.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 29 July 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Again, this is why you come to FAPs where people DO know about the Oblivians.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 July 2004 17:14 (twenty-one years ago)

He also looks very much like Jim DeRogatis, with a touch of Oliver Platt

gah!

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 29 July 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

He got all panicky and confused when I tried to shove a Smoking Popes CD down his throat and then I said "oh sorry, I thought you wrote for the Sun-Times".

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 29 July 2004 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, namedropping time. I once cooked (for a few days) for the cast and crew of a movie costarring Jack Oblivian. But I wasn't an expert about cooking... in fact, I wasn't remotely knowledgeable.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 29 July 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Me: 'This British cop left the police force because he was sick of hearing the word 'nigger' used all the time, and other racist stuff.'
Dad: 'Oh, I don't think that's true, love. I heard about that case, and you'll find that sort of thing just doesn't go on here. I think he was just disappointed with other things.'
Me: 'But his co-worker was on TV saying it was true.'
Dad: 'I don't think so, love.'
Me: 'But what do you mean? There were two witnesses. One of them went on TV, he wasn't even anonymous.'
Dad: 'I think you'll find that's not true, love.'
Me: 'I don't understand ...'
Dad: 'It's just not the sort of thing that really goes on, you'll find, love.'

― --, Thursday, 29 July 2004 20:28 (twenty-one years ago)

- What's crazy is that the guy actually DID say it, but I think me also might have been trying to get laid because the girl resembles Katie Holmes

- He also looks very much like Jim DeRogatis, with a touch of Oliver Platt

This sounds like a bizarro Pieces of April.

― The Dreaded Rear Admiral (Leee), Thursday, 29 July 2004 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I should emphasize this is Katie Holmes circa The Gift and DeRogatis without the coolness factor.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 30 July 2004 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

DeRogatis without the coolness factor.

gah!

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 30 July 2004 00:36 (twenty-one years ago)

And yet you stay on ILX?

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 30 July 2004 00:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I work with a sack of shit who thinks he knows everything about everything, but knows nothing about nothing. I mean that in a very literal sense. And he'll actually butt in to every single conversation he possibly can, and pollute it with his gobshite know-all bollocks. The only way to prevent it happening is to not talk at all, ever.

― Careful with that Almanac Eugene (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 30 July 2004 00:47 (twenty-one years ago)

That annoying gent I work with who specializes in office mischief is also an "expert" on everything. He talks about everything in this faintly condescending, soft, "wise" manner: eyewear, Iraq, inversion tables, the mob, all fucking day long!

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 30 July 2004 00:51 (twenty-one years ago)

There is a frequent ILX poster who likes to speak as the voice of authority on the American legal system all the time, and he's wrong about 80% of the time. I'd call him out on it, but it'd be too much like teaching a pig to sing, y'know?

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 30 July 2004 09:10 (twenty-one years ago)

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