Lollipop, lollipop, ooh lolly lolly lolly

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Lollipop men and women. I've noticed that the ones round my way all seem to be a bit mental. One's a recovering alcoholic, one waves at everyone who goes past with a gormless look on his face.

Do you have to be mentally unhinged to be a crossing guard or does the job makes you that way? Is it a fulfilling occupation which keeps you in touch with the community or a dreadful slog, standing in the pissing rain making sure the brats who abuse you are safe?

Would you ever consider being one? In God's name, WHY?

― Ally C, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I wanted to be one on a road works site so I could stand around in a neaon orange vest and use a walky talky. I'm sure that insanity is both enhanced by and a prerequisite of the job

― Menelaus Darcy, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

One of my friends dream of becoming a lollipop man during what should be his retirement years. And he wants to do it in his slippers. Be a lollipop man that is.

― Jonnie, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i wwanted to be one, but when they asked me what to do if a kid comes up and says he's lost, i replied I'd take him home, tie him up and make sure he never got lost again...welll, I still don't have a job.

― Geoff, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'd be one if every kid brought me a box of Quality Street.

― Madchen, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'd like the uniform. What's the pay like?

― Will, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I should note in America we don't call them lollipop men -- 'crossing guards' is how I learned it growing up, or street patrol or the like. So when I first heard the term I was wondering why guys who sold candy were stationed out on the street at schools, that sounded more like pedophilia sanctioned by the authorities!

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I had no idea what people were talking about until Ned's post. What's Quality Street, btw?

― Sean, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Waxy individually wrapped chocolates, often sold in big gift tubs. The parallel of the waxy candy one finds in cut glass bowls on the coffee tables of aging great aunts.

― Benjamin, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I thought Quality Street was some sort of illegal drug. I would like to herd children across the streets and give them lollipops. If only I could grow a nice white beard.

― Maria, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

this morning I stopped at the school crossing at the north end of George St & I didn't notice anything about the actual lollipop bearers but crossing from the LH side of the st was a man in his 30s in a leather jacket carrying a violin case & crossing from the RH side was a 7 or 8 year old Asian boy carrying a violin case.

― duane, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

as everyone knows a violin case is just the right size for carrying a submachiner gun with the stock removed. --->LOLLIPOP MAN FACILITATES TERRORIST ACTIVITY.

― , Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ah, but you don't give anyone any lollipops, you just hold a sign that looks like a lollipop. Like this .

Round here the lollipop woman always lets the kids cross about two car lengths away from the busiest roundabout in town, stopping the traffic with absolutely no concern as to whether there's anything right behind it which will hit it or block the roundabout. It's not a very busy town, but there's enough traffic there at twenty to nine in the morning that it seems asking for trouble.

Erm. That paragraph was considerably less interesting than it seemed in my head. No, I wouldn't want to be one, I have no road sense, I hate kids, and standing in the road wearing fluorescent yellow and waving your hands around in front of loads of kids has to be a pretty fast way to acquire some insulting nicknames.

― Rebecca, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

George Henderson from the Puddle used to be a lollipop man. Does that answer you question?

― hamish, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh i only looked at this thread because i thought it was about fellatio.

― hamish, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yeah Hamish have you heard the song he writ in the And Band about the lollipop man? he rhymes "can" with "can" ("the lollipop man/he lives in a can/he takes all the drugs that he can"). It's a real good one tho.

― duane, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think it's about fellatio.

― , Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

well that just adds so much appeal to the career Hamish

― Menelaus Darcy, Friday, 9 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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