WILL I RECIEVE 100% OF THE COMPENSATION?

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Also known as "grating lines of dialogue from daytime TV ads."

This is what happens after months of unemployment and Buffy reruns.

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 09:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes yeh could.

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 09:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh god, Peter and I were just swapping lines of an advert last night, and now I can't remember which one it was...

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:01 (twenty-one years ago)

(Sorry - English. or Dr. Teeth. Or whatever he prefers.)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Only if you've had an accident within the last three years which Wasn't Your Fault.

(small print: 98% of any miniscule compensation that you might receive will go directly to us to pay for "insurance" and "administration" costs)

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Diamond?
Diamond!

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:08 (twenty-one years ago)

and away those Corsas go!

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, that's French they're speaking. And no, they're not French - they're British!

I'm not your sister, dummy! (said through terrifying grimace)

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I think all comments by the Sock from the egg card are excused because they actually make me laugh.

"Yeh turnip!"

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Only if you consolidate your loans into one easy monthly payment.

― ___ (___), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Our man saved a lot of money with us!
So now let's show him what else we can do!
We'll get that car fixed up and outta there sharpish!

Does she say "sharpish"? I really don't know.

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Eurgh, it's her horrible chirpy determinedly-casual pronounciation that drives me up the wall. 'Outta' oh God kill me now.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Kev! Bev!

Bev! Kev!

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I only saw it the once but the winner for me was

"These children are not French! They are English!"

In english.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:21 (twenty-one years ago)

ah, Bev and Kev. Bless.

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:25 (twenty-one years ago)

We saw another Maestro advert that sounds like an old Momus record.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and the king of all of them...

"Go HOME!!!"
"no"

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

bloody andy mcdowell in whatever sodding anti-wrinkle cream ad. i.e ANY she does EVER. i mean she's such a bad actress she can't even convincingly dub her own voice with the stress in the right place to make the words printed before her make sense

"I'm on holiday - not my wrinkles" - this means that confounding expectation you are not on your wrinkles as we all thought (??) but actually on holiday

"I'm on holiday - not my wrinkles" - this is what you REALLY mean. It's not your wrinkles that are on holiday, it's YOU. YOU are on holiday WITHOUT your wrinkles.

for FUCKS sake, woman

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 11:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"The things I do to hydrate my skin!!!"

― sgs (sgs), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH < /girlie scream>
Summer doesn't last forever!

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

When you gather round the good stuff!
[Is that for pizza or weed?]

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"I saved! ...I thought that mattered to you."

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

David Seaman's big hands to thread (ideally wrapped around that ghoulish Barker woman's throat).

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"I had a cancerous lump. They operated the next day. Priorities changed. If I was NHS scum like you lot I'd probably be dead."

The 'outta there sharpish' woman is fit.

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Kev! Bev!
Bev! Kev!

I am secretly in love with Bev. Mainly cos she was in Peepshow, but also cos, well, y'know when she says, "we used to have one of those", I just melt into the sofa.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I know! Women should wrinkle their noses more. Actually I predict that as a trend for 2005.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.vh1.com/shared/media/images/sn_legacy/sonicnet/assetmedia/bands/images/503204_9241.jpg

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I love the Churchill dog when he tries to save us from aliens. That kills me.

My flatmate is totally in love with the Wall's sausages dog.

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

The Churchill dog annoys me. I am ambivalent about the Wall's dog.

― sgs (sgs), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

The Churchill dog tries to hard to be loveable national treasure these days.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I think my mom owns the poodle version of the Wall's dog.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

That is one viscious little mutt, man.

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"for high notes.....and low notes" says the Celebrity Hair Colourist while a fake midi trumpet squeaks way.
the red mist descends once more.....

― zappi (joni), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"I just love new colorific atonal noises from Clariol!" says Celebrity Colorist James Brown.

I think he *also* loves "that little white stick that you put in your mouth."

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Or possibly those little white rocks he keeps lighting in a pipe every 10 minutes.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

haha!
oh and that one about digital photo printers in boots when the guy says "and we WANT IT NOW!!!" like a spoilt kid. argh.

― zappi (joni), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Catty, it's "that white little stick", not "that little white stick". This is u+k as it annoys the tits off me even though I should be sympathising with the poor fucker and getting my wallet out.

If sgs and me ever split up it will be because of my deep and abiding love for the Churchill dog.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

aaaaaaoooooooohhhhhhhhwwwwww yesss!

― sgs (sgs), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

So cute!!

(sgs + pooch obv)

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I AM NOT CUTE. NEITHER IS IT

― aarghnevermind (sgs), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"I've got the right!"

"Have you got the right to buy your council house?"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"Suffered in an accident?

I'm Paul Rooney, of Paul Rooney soliciters.."

one for the radio fans there

― Bumfluff, Wednesday, 4 August 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

and it's got a hemi

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's the lovely Churchill dog ....

http://www.tvwhirl.co.uk/count.php?file=http://members.lycos.co.uk/tvrevision10b/tvwhirl.php?file=tesadverts/churchill2004.rm

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry, i thought I typed "that white little stick."

But please, Dan: REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE!!!!

(the anti-smoking one that really gets me is the one where the guy dies before he sees his daughter, that makes me so sad.)

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Those basically only serve to remind me to go out and smoke.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Get a few fags in before you die?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

roxymuzak died minutes after this post: she never got to make out with the gay guys.

― parakeet_esparanto (parakeetesparanto), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Schtop!

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 5 August 2004 06:55 (twenty-one years ago)

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