Comedian Jimmy Carr Sues Jim Davidson Over A Stolen 'fat' Joke

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― Hardie, Thursday, 5 August 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought that's what comedians do?

― Huck, Thursday, 5 August 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

It's one of the oldest jokes in the world. How can one corny comedian claim copyright of a joke that was around probably before he was born!

― Hardie, Thursday, 5 August 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe that's the joke?

― Huck, Thursday, 5 August 2004 20:10 (twenty-one years ago)

If Jim Davidson thought my material was his kind of thing, I'd want to keep very quiet about it.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 5 August 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Jimmy Carr is the worst human being ever.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 5 August 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Well he never assaulted my wife, so he's not even the worst in this story.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 5 August 2004 20:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"Comedian" Jimmy Carr.

i agree with you Dom.

― jed (jed_e_3), Thursday, 5 August 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I like jimmy carr more than dom passantino.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Vernon Kaye?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm afraid I don't know what you mean.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"Once I did wipe me with a gentlewoman's velvet mask, and found it to be good; for the softness of the silk was very voluptuous and pleasant to my fundament. Another time with one of their hoods, and in like manner that was comfortable; at another time with a lady's neckerchief, and after that some ear-pieces made of crimson satin; but there was such a number of golden spangles in them that they fetched away all the skin off my tail with a vengeance. This hurt I cured by wiping myself with a page's cap, garnished with a feather after the Swiss fashion. Afterwards, in dunging behind a bush, I found a March-cat, and with it daubed my breech, but her claws were so sharp that they grievously exulcerated my peritoneum. Of this I recovered the next morning thereafter, by wiping myself with my mother's gloves, of a most excellent perfume of Arabia. [He continues in this vein for several pages.] But to conclude, I say and maintain that of all arse-wisps, bum-fodders, tail-napkins, bung-hole-cleansers and wipe-breeches, there is none in this world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs: and believe me therein upon mine honour; for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down, and of the temperate heat of the goose; which is easily communicated to the bumgut and the rest of the intestines, insofar as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains. And think not that the felicity of the heroes and demigods, in the Elysian fields, consisteth either in their Ambrosia or Nectar, but in this, that they wipe their tails with the necks of geese."

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Jimmy Carr isn't very funny is he? Actually a friend of mine writes jokes for him.

― jellybean (jellybean), Thursday, 5 August 2004 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

haha nockhole

― purple patch (electricsound), Thursday, 5 August 2004 22:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Jim Davidson assaulted Martin's wife?

― zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Thursday, 5 August 2004 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

and the joke isn't even funny! carr and davidson are the alpha and omega of shit comedy.

― ENRQ, Friday, 6 August 2004 07:28 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought the joke was hilarious! more of that please!

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 6 August 2004 07:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Carr is just beyond fucking nightmarish.

― ENRG, Friday, 6 August 2004 07:35 (twenty-one years ago)

they are the apollo and dionysis of rotten joke telling

― dave amos, Friday, 6 August 2004 07:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Worse still, the joke in question doesn't even work

― DJ Mencap0))), Friday, 6 August 2004 07:59 (twenty-one years ago)

but it WAS funny!

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 6 August 2004 08:00 (twenty-one years ago)

not that funny - i think it would be funnier coming from Carr than Davidson tho based on Carr's voice and demeanour

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 6 August 2004 08:04 (twenty-one years ago)

if someoen said it now, it would be excelsiored and people would be roffling into their tea mugs.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 6 August 2004 08:15 (twenty-one years ago)

funnier than Spaced anyway ;-)

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 6 August 2004 08:15 (twenty-one years ago)

YOU'RE FIRED!

― earl's court, Friday, 6 August 2004 08:17 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not so much the punchline that is genius it's the concept of Jimmy Carr having an argument with a girl all about who is the fattest.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 6 August 2004 08:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i like jimmy carr. W12 represent!

― koogs (koogs), Friday, 6 August 2004 08:20 (twenty-one years ago)

doglatin you are calling this 'genius' now??

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 6 August 2004 09:05 (twenty-one years ago)

a lot of unfunny crap gets excelsiored remember (sometimes my own)

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 6 August 2004 09:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"making jokes about fat women isn't very clever i think, they're just easy targets....what with not being able to run very fast..."

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 6 August 2004 09:09 (twenty-one years ago)

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 6 August 2004 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

take my mother in law...

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 6 August 2004 09:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I think they should have a fight. Maybe they'll kill each other. That is my fervent prayer.

― Tag (Tag), Friday, 6 August 2004 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Obviously I'm not mad enough to write anything goggleable and actionable here; but when I was first going out with my future-wife she was a supervisor at a motorway service station. She was doing her rounds one night checking that no one had tried to break into the shop (which was closed at this time) and a certain racist, misogynist comedian grabbed her and pushed her against a wall and tried to kiss and grope her. She pulled away and escaped, and since she couldn't prove a thing she decided that, since she smelled a lot of alcohol on his breath and she watched him drive off in his Rolls, she called the police (they had a good relationship with the police, who had an office on site) and sent them after him. He lost his driving licence.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 6 August 2004 10:05 (twenty-one years ago)

That's a horrible, wonderful story.

― ENRG, Friday, 6 August 2004 10:06 (twenty-one years ago)

He should have been nick-nicked.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 6 August 2004 10:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw Jimmy Carr walking up the street the other day - should I have kicked him in the goolies? Undoubtedly.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 6 August 2004 10:21 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, it would've been interesting to see what would've happened.

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 6 August 2004 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

and then you could have posted about it on people who've been on TV whom you've pwned

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 6 August 2004 10:49 (twenty-one years ago)

more fat jokes please.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 6 August 2004 10:50 (twenty-one years ago)

What I should have done is stopped him and told him a really funny joke, then sue him when he used in his act

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 6 August 2004 10:51 (twenty-one years ago)

he won't use it if it's actually funny.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 6 August 2004 10:53 (twenty-one years ago)

i wouldn't say my wife is fat but she's the only woman i know

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Friday, 6 August 2004 10:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i heard lisa's dad once went into a restaurant, and he ate all the food in the restaurant, and then they had to close the restaurant.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 6 August 2004 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Bernard Manning can use this:

"Jimmy Carr? Jimmy Carr? He's so unfunny, Jim Davidson steals his jokes"

I will sue him if he does tho.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 6 August 2004 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Say that Sheckie Carr *did* win the lawsuit... how much money do you suppose he's entitled to for that joke?

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 6 August 2004 11:29 (twenty-one years ago)

a fat sum

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 6 August 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

a tub of lard

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 6 August 2004 11:32 (twenty-one years ago)

What does that stupid "nick ,nick" catchphrase mean???

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Friday, 6 August 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

It's an old Davidson routine about a policeman. Before Jimmy Carr was even born... before he gets any ideas.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 6 August 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't like it. THe punchline is telegraphed.

― Huck, Friday, 6 August 2004 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

punchline being telegraphed is the funniest joke ever though??

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Friday, 6 August 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

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