Letting your girlfriend's sister live with you: dud or catastrophe?

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So my girlfriend's sister called tonight, all excited about a 2-bedroom apartment she found in a good neighborhood for ridiculously cheap. A lot of stuff is ridiculously cheap in this city right now -- it's a renter's market like you wouldn't believe. This place is a 2-bedroom in Edgewater, good square footage (about 1100), free laundry, great train access, basement "office" space free for the using, $725. Sounds perfect... for the two of us.

Trouble is, I just plain DON'T want to share a space with the sister of the woman I've been living with for three years. Not that I don't like the little girl, or sympathize with her. She just broke up with a bad boyfriend, and she's had a rough time of it lately. I know that will factor into my girlfriend's decision, but it does not factor into mine. She's worried about her sister, but I'm more worried about our relationship. How will we fight in front of her sister? How will we fuck? Quietly? I don't think I care for that at all. This could -- WOULD -- change the whole dynamic between us.

So how do I tell my girlfriend that her sister can move back home as far as I care? How do I phrase that so it doesn't sound cold?

― lye_eater, Friday, 6 August 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Threesome. I can't stress this enough.

― Al'manach Oseni (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 6 August 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

But if you must, perhaps you should just tell her you want the privacy? Would your g/f do it on your behalf, in case your advance is seen as hostile/unwelcome?

― Al'manach Oseni (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 6 August 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Just tell your girlfriend that you really really really don't want to live with her sister.

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 6 August 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I was about to say, as Scott notes, this is a bit of a no-brainer.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 August 2004 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Threesome occured to me, but then I thought, you know, that' fuking stupid. Nice, but fucking stupid.

― Harold Media (kenan), Friday, 6 August 2004 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Is your lease coming to an end? were you planning on moving? if not, then just say "I don't want to move".

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 6 August 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Not moving is not an option. We're living in a basement. We've almost died from carbon monoxide poisoning once this year. We're moving if it's the last fucking thing we do.

Just tell your girlfriend that you really really really don't want to live with her sister.

Good idea. I will, I'm sure. I may have to get a little drunk first, though.

― Harold Media (kenan), Friday, 6 August 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously, don't do it. Everyone either hates being around each other or becomes buddies - either way is an inescapable romance killer.

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 6 August 2004 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, shit. I just realized I just posted twice, not anonymously. Ok, so yeah, it's me. I was also smart enough to leave this window open when she came home, so we had the discussion I was planning very fast and very angrily.

It's ok, though. She understands, even if she thinks I'm a dick for posting on a message board before I discussed it with her. And she has a really good point there.

― Harold Media (kenan), Friday, 6 August 2004 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

It's really straightforward. You like the sister, you like the girlfriend. Moving in with both of them together would cause problems for both those relationships, which you value too much to compromise in this way.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 6 August 2004 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

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