Magazine Reader Archetype

I am a MAD MAGAZINE Archetype:
- RED HAIR
- BIG GAP IN TEETH
- FRECKLES
- ALWAYS SAYING "WHAT ME, WORRY?"
- NOT FUNNY UNLESS YOU'RE 10 YEARS OLD

I suspect I am a BELIEVER archetype:

- attend MFA program
- attend "readings"
- think enjoying popular indie bands = knowing loads about music
- live in Brooklyn / San Francisco
- know too many of their writers socially
- write fiction
- read fiction

I am the COSMOPOLITAIN MAGAZINE Archetype:
- KNOWS 40 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR ORGASM
- ALWAYS GOT SOME HOT AIRBRUSHED MODEL ON MY FRONT
- AM THE SAME MONTH AFTER MONTH AFTER MONTH

I am a PAPER RODEO archetype!:

- live in Providence, RI
- NOISE DUDE (making and listening)
- have collection of weird shitty photocopied children's art
- ex comics nerd
- I bike in the city
- I MAKE STENCIL ART

I am a CAT FANCY archetype:

-I love my cats
-Sometimes I sing to them
-Uh.....

do you have a lot of them

The "Cat Fancy" archetype is invariably an unmarried woman going through menopause. If you do not meet this description, then you cannot be the archetype.

I know, I just can't think of a magazine which I am an archetypal reader of.

I don't fit into your pigeonholes, man, I'm a free spirit and I can't be tamed!

Like a cat.

i am a NEW YORKER archetype

- can converse with anyone, esp. at a party
- don't know a goddamn thing

I am the SOLDIER of FORTUNE archetype:

- fancy shoving a bayonet into someone, preferably smaller than me
- enjoy milling and filling my own brass
- have a large collection of tasers, pepper sprays and rubber clubs
- work for a Pentagon security contractor based out of a compound in
North Carolina
- push bad guys off a bridge into the Euphrates after curfew
- had the sense to stay out of camera range at Abu Ghraib
- run a rogue wireless network in the south of Iraq serving our
fighting men with much needed pix of naked women and such

I am the JUGGS archetype:
-I like to jerk off to pictures of big tits.

and you have huge tits.