"Mum Admits Sex With Son"

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http://www.newsandstar.co.uk/news/viewarticle.aspx?id=120930

A MARYPORT mother-of-seven has admitted taking her teenage son as her lover.

Sylvia Payne, 45, slept with her 18-year-old son Mark as they lay in bed together watching a video.

Yesterday the pair left West Allerdale Magistrates Court together after she had pleaded guilty to having full sexual intercourse with him.

Payne was charged under section 65 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 with consenting to being penetrated sexually by an adult relation over 18, knowing that he was related to her.

The act took place on July 21 in Maryport.

Mark had a panic attack. His mother cuddled him and soon they began having sex.

Police were called in when a horrified family member reported Payne, of Gilmour Street.

David Hansford, prosecuting, said: “The police received a complaint from a family member to the effect that this incident had taken place. In the first interview she did deny the incident but did confirm that she and her son Mark were in bed together.”

But in a second interview she said full sexual intercourse had taken place. It had just happened on one occasion.

Mr Hansford added: “They were watching a video – he had a panic attack, she cuddled him and one thing led to another and they had sexual intercourse.”

Tattooed Payne, who was dressed head to toe in black, shook and sobbed through the hearing – she was led from the court in tears during a break.

Defence solicitor Mike Woolaghan said there was a complicated family background with spiralling abuse.

He said: “There’s a significant amount of history relating to this matter. Two families which have suffered in the hands of fathers who have been abusive towards Sylvia Payne in all matter of ways.

“It’s a graphic and horrific tale. It makes sad reading – to a large extent she is as much a victim as anyone else.

“She has seven children all told, four from a first relationship which was categorised by significant sexual, physical and emotional abuse.”

Payne, who is getting psychiatric help, spoke only to confirm her name, address and plea.

Magistrates told Payne her crime was serious enough for her to go to jail.

After the case Payne said: “ I just want it to be over, this was one stupid mistake, it doesn’t happen regularly, it was just a one off, we were both upset.

“We are still living together but as mother and son, not as partners.

“I am not a bad person, I am not evil.”

Mark cuddled his mum as she wept.

The case was adjourned for pre-sentence and psychiatric reports to August 25.

Comments, please.

Andrew (enneff), Monday, 9 August 2004 05:24 (twenty-one years ago)

One that comes to mind is wondering how Jerry Springer and the like make this kind of thing, while not "normal", certainly look not illegal?! WHich is odd really.

He was over 18. Its a tricky one. I dont think jail should come into it.

Trayce (trayce), Monday, 9 August 2004 05:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm for legalizing incest among adults.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 9 August 2004 05:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's absurd that somebody would go to jail for incest. It seems a waste of resources. If they're consenting adults, who are the victims? The community? Society as a whole?

Andrew (enneff), Monday, 9 August 2004 05:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess my point is that we really shouldn't know about this stuff. It is none of our business.

Andrew (enneff), Monday, 9 August 2004 05:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"Morals", "family values" yadayada, etc.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 9 August 2004 05:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Trayce OTM. Sex laws concerning consentual sex between adults are stupid anyways. I'm not saying this isn't kinda creepy but...why waste taxpayers money etc. etc.

AaronHz (AaronHz), Monday, 9 August 2004 05:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah its not like Bad Boy Bubby or something.

Trayce (trayce), Monday, 9 August 2004 05:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Sex laws concerning consentual sex between adults are stupid anyways

in principle i totally agree with this statement. but i think it's important not to overlook that there is a valid reason for those social mores/laws, i.e. that consensual sexual relationships between blood-related adults can lead to conception. and that leads to a whole raft of potential physical and social problems.

still, i don't think it is newsworthy. and certainly not deserving of a custodial sentence.

gem (trisk), Monday, 9 August 2004 05:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess my point is that we really shouldn't know about this stuff. It is none of our business.
-- Andrew (n...), August 9th, 2004.

Says the guy who posted it here.

Huck, Monday, 9 August 2004 05:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm referring to the fact that it was published in a newspaper. Obviously it makes little difference exposure-wise whether it's posted here or not.

Andrew (enneff), Monday, 9 August 2004 06:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Spanking The Monkey to thread.

AaronHz (AaronHz), Monday, 9 August 2004 06:10 (twenty-one years ago)

The Dark Art of Inbreeding rears its cockeyed head

Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 9 August 2004 06:26 (twenty-one years ago)

haw

AaronHz (AaronHz), Monday, 9 August 2004 06:27 (twenty-one years ago)

(or Hee-Haw, rather)

AaronHz (AaronHz), Monday, 9 August 2004 06:27 (twenty-one years ago)

But Andrew, your impulse to post it here was undoubtedly the same as as the assignment editor who decided to cover this story. Hmm, I bet people will have something to say about this, it's not something you hear about everyday.

Huck, Monday, 9 August 2004 06:30 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah ANDREW, you hippopotamus.

AaronHz (AaronHz), Monday, 9 August 2004 06:31 (twenty-one years ago)

But Andrew, your impulse to post it here was undoubtedly the same as as the assignment editor who decided to cover this story.

That's ridiculous. The assignment editor and I have completely separate goals, audiences, and political agendas (probably).

Andrew (enneff), Monday, 9 August 2004 06:35 (twenty-one years ago)

The mother has the same name as my friend's creepy ex-girlfriend!

Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 9 August 2004 07:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it might be more of a social concern if offspring ensued - think of the children etc.

the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Monday, 9 August 2004 07:54 (twenty-one years ago)

It's true that a part of the problem is increased risk of birth defects, but if that is the basis for prohibiting it do we also think a couple whose genetic makeup increases the risk of abnormalities should also be banned from reproducing? Certainly the risks in the latter case would be much greater.

I guess it seems that such relationships probably arise as a result of mental illness\other problems in the family, so maybe we should consider it more of a problem than a crime.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 9 August 2004 10:33 (twenty-one years ago)

the word 'ridiculous' is used incorrectly, too often.

RJG (RJG), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's absurd that somebody would go to jail for incest. It seems a waste of resources. If they're consenting adults, who are the victims? The community? Society as a whole?
-- Andrew (n...), August 9th, 2004 6:33 AM. (later)

it'd make the IT system designers life hell trying to build the civil registrar's database to cope with newly borns who are the brothers and sisters of their father and also their sons and daughters.

ken c (ken c), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

to be honest, if he's 18, and shes 45, theyre both consenting adults. they both knew what they were doing. its slightly sick, but whats the big deal?

splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

kenc, I kiss you!

Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

it's amazing; the switch that flicks, when you turn eighteen.

RJG (RJG), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:40 (twenty-one years ago)

this reminds me of the beastiality thread - people were having a tough time coming up with actual 'logical' reasons as to why it SHOULD be outlawed, heh

the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:44 (twenty-one years ago)

The bestiality thread is one of ILX's finest moments.

Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

you mean, what's the prob if, for example, dogs are over three and bark their consent?

crosspost

RJG (RJG), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

See the Bible only says 'thou shalt not covet THY NEIGHBOUR's ox'...

the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

RJG everyone knows two barks mean one bark

the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha

RJG (RJG), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Stevem that was brilliant

Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

http://midcoast.tamu.edu/images/ornate%20box%20turtle.jpg

"COME TO ME, MY LOVE"

Box Turtle Lover (ex machina), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

So what we're saying is that it's OK to have sex with close blood relatives AND animals and also ch1ldr3n, right?

Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

We're LIBERALS!

Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Heyo!

Firstly, introductions all round. My name is Gygax!, musician, pre-vet student and Delphinic Zoophile. People are often wondering just what the hell zoophilia is. Zoophilia is best described as a love of animals so intimate that the person (and the animal) involved have no objections to expressing their affection for each other in the sexual fashion. This is not to be confused with bestiality, where a person forcefully mates an animal, without their consent, and with no mutual feelings whatsoever. This is something that I would never do to a dolphin, since I love them dearly, and treat them with the same respect that an honest husband would have for his wife and children.

Dolphins are very intelligent, highly emotional and expressive creatures. They enjoy the company of humans, and if a relationship develops between a human and a dolphin, as has happened with me, they will, on occasion, wish to express their trust and affection for you in the most direct way; through mating, or sex-play. You see, dolphins do not use sex purely for procreative reasons. They use it as a way of strengthening the bonds between pod mates (mothers and calves included), and also for fun. Dolphins and humans share this common trait with very few other animals, so sometimes it makes me wonder when people continue to ask me "How DO you mate with a dolphin?". Easy. Let the dolphin tell you!

Well, here is a selection of questions people have asked me, so I hope this sheds some light on the subject...

Q1) How do I tell a male dolphin from a female one?

A1) Probably the most common question I get asked. There are 2 ways of determining the sex of a dolphin. The most obvious way is to take a peek under the peduncle (the long part of the body connected to the tail flukes). On the dolphin's belly, directly opposite the dorsal fin, will be the umbilicus, or the navel of the dolphin. Looking further down towards the tail, you start to see the differences.

Male dolphins have two separate slits for the penis (the urogenital opening) and the anus. These are separated by a bridge of skin. The male's urogenital opening is generally located further up the belly, towards the navel.

Females, on the other fin, have one continuous larger slit, the anus located at the end of it. On either side of the genital slit, you will find two smaller slits; these are the mammary slits, where the nipples of the dolphin are kept for feeding the calves. The slit is also located closer to the tail stock of the dolphin.

The other way to determine the sex of a dolphin, if you can't reach their belly, is to look at their mellon, or head. The males tend to have a fatter, rounder mellon, while the females are more sleek and streamlined.


Q2) How do I know if a dolphin wants to have sex?

A2) There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex.

Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.

Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.

Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active.


Q3) What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?

A3) Accept, if possible! I will go through the steps involved with males and females...

The Male:

When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough... so I cannot say for sure if it is safe to mate with them. I would suspect not, due to a dolphins size, but then again, I cannot say for a woman.)

WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. Unless you are the masochistic type, you will have a hard time explaining your predicament to the doctors in the emergency ward....

A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in a accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.

The Female:

Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.

Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalization.

Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, they have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.

One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one-night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.


Q4) What diseases can I get from dolphins? Can I give them any?

A4) I have had no experiences with Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD's) with dolphins, so I couldn't rightfully say. I do know, however, that you can pass the Flu between you, along with other respiratory problems. (I got a cold when a dolphin sneezed on me once. It cleared up after a week or so.) You can also pass some skin irritations on to them, if you handle them with chaffed or broken skin. Just like with a human, it is best to BE CLEAN when you handle a dolphin. If you have cuts on your hands, avoid touching them unless you wash with a Betadine surgical scrub prior to handling. This is available from most Veterinary and Surgical suppliers. If you have some disease of some sort, avoid mating, for the dolphins sake. This is a little known area, more so because Zoophilia is considered illegal in many places (which I think is a load of crud, but the law's the law....)


Q5) Is their any way I can invite a dolphin to be masturbated?

A5) Well, yes. If they are hanging around, but not looking particularly excited, but you are, you can invite them with this way...

Male and Female dolphins can be invited by rolling them on their sides, again, but instead of going straight to the genital slit, rub along their bellies, between their pectoral fins, along the navel, and every once in a while, over the genital slit. If they are responsive, they will show the signs of excitement as described earlier, and you can proceed as usual. If, however, they are not responsive, they will swim away, or turn back upright. DO NOT force the issue with a dolphin! Trying to restrain them will only break their trust in you, and could cause you serious injury. Pat them, stroke them and talk to them lovingly, but do not try anything else. It is best, anyway, to let the dolphin tell you when they are ready. It is far more pleasant, and more fulfilling anyway. And more special.


Q6) Where can I find a dolphin to mate with?

A6) Aquariums are a bad choice, for many reasons. Too public, the dolphins are not in their natural habitat, night visits are impossible, etc etc... some may have external enclosures, which may be accessible, but that is no guarantee. Best thing sometimes is to find a beach or a cove that the dolphins frequent. It takes time to develop a relationship with a dolphin to the point where they will let you mate with them (although some have been as quick as 3 days to acclimatize). Gaining their trust takes time, and you need to visit frequently. This is impossible for some people, I understand, but it is the best way. Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbor of my resident city.

Well, I hope this is of use to whoever is interested. One final note. You should love a dolphin, not because of the sexual relief they can provide, but because they are a unique animal, one of the few wild animals that seek the company of man by their own initiative. This is special. Do not abuse it.

Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

All those WACKO rightwing guys, the ones who say "first gay marriage tomorrow bestiality gets legalised, these evil liberals", it kinda looks like they may have a point, doesn't it? Not that I care, everything'll eventually be legalised I guess

Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Evidently.

X-post, cheers Jon.

Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

That was fucked-up when I first read it in January and it's still fucked-up now.

Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 9 August 2004 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

yes it's amazing how little has happened in these eight months to make us more sympathetic to the idea of dolphin fuckage.

m. (mitchlnw), Monday, 9 August 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

No magical trips to Sea World or anything

Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 9 August 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I still think incest AMONG CONSENTING ADULTS should be legal.

It would be great to free our morals and laws from being religion-inspired. A new breed of ethics -- ILXthics -- will take their place.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 9 August 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

it's amazing; the switch that flicks, when you turn eighteen.
-- RJG (RJ...), August 9th, 2004 12:40 PM. (later)

a computer should decide whether or not you're guilty if you have sex with someone in your family who is under 18, using a probability of guiltiness that is proportional to difference between the alledged victim's age and the number 18.

a difference of 0 or less giving a verdict of always not guilty, 18 giving a verdict of always guilty.

ken c (ken c), Monday, 9 August 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Ken C, the fall off should be logarithmic

Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Monday, 9 August 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

we'll first need statistical evidence to show that the decline in adultness with age is logarithmic.

ken c (ken c), Monday, 9 August 2004 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

...

Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Monday, 9 August 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

see! incest is the computer programmer's worst nightmare.

ken c (ken c), Monday, 9 August 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Yea, actually doing a relational database queries on stuff like geneology trees is kind of a pain! (I wrote a threaded messageboard back in the day)

Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Monday, 9 August 2004 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/13/amg/cov200/drd600/d664/d66478yy967.jpg

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 9 August 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

n Latin-Rite (i.e., Western) Catholic churches, married men may (since the time of the Second Vatican Council) be ordained deacons, but may not be ordained priests or bishops, and one may not marry after ordination. Since the Second Vatican Council, exceptions may be allowed for married Protestant ministers who convert to Catholicism and wish to be Catholic priests, provided their wives consent. (Catholics consider Protestant ordinations invalid, and recognize Eastern Orthodox and Oriental Orthodox ordinations as valid.) In some cases, defrocked (or "laicized") priests are allowed to marry by special dispensation.

Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Monday, 9 August 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

His mother cuddled him and soon they began having sex.

Mark cuddled his mum as she wept.

Mr. Tony Plow (Leee), Monday, 9 August 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

she should've stayed "mum"

gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 9 August 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

heh

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 9 August 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't you think it's a bit freaky to start getting it on with someone who has just had a panic attack? Isn't it kind of taking advantage?

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 9 August 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Police were called in when a horrified family member reported Payne, of Gilmour Street

Um, how did said family member know? Get a little shaky holding the video camera? What?

luna (luna.c), Monday, 9 August 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

i actually forgot that there was a news story about real people that started this thread.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 9 August 2004 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

er, inspired this thread, i mean.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 9 August 2004 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Your mama didn't forget.

Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 9 August 2004 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

mama told me not to come

:''''(

RJG (RJG), Monday, 9 August 2004 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

omg.

Kim (Kim), Monday, 9 August 2004 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

bahahaha.

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 9 August 2004 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Lou Reed says incest create neo-cons:

I was thinking of things that I hate to do
SEX WITH YOUR PARENTS
Things you do to me or I do to you, baby
SEX WITH YOUR PARENTS

Something fatter or uglier than Rush Rambo
Something more disgusting than Robert Dole
Something pink that climbs out of a hole
And there it was - SEX WITH YOUR PARENTS

I was getting so sick of this right wing republican shit
These ugly old man scared of young tit and dick
So I try to think of something that made me sick
And there it was - SEX WITH YOUR PARENTS

Now these old fucks can steal all they want
And they can go and pass laws saying you can't say what you want
And you can't look at this and you can't look at that
And you can't smoke this and you can't snort that
And me baby - I got statistics - I got stats
These people have been to bed with their parents

Now I know you're shocked but hang and have a brew
If you think about it for a minute you know that it's true
They're ashamed and repelled and they don't know what to do
They've had sex with their parents
When they looked into their lovers eyes they saw - mom
In the name of the family values we must ask whose family
In the name of the family values we must ask - Senator

It's has been reported that you have had
Illegal congress with your mother, - SEX WITH YOUR PARENTS
ah, Senator
An illegal congress by proxy is a
Pigeon by any other name, - SEX WITH YOUR PARENTS

Senators you polish a turd
Here in the big city we got a word
For those who would bed their beloved big bird
And make a mockery of our freedoms
Ah, without even using a condom
Without even saying "no"
By god we have a name for people like that
It's - hey motherfucker

miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 9 August 2004 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"All those WACKO rightwing guys, the ones who say "first gay marriage tomorrow bestiality gets legalised, these evil liberals", it kinda looks like they may have a point, doesn't it? Not that I care, everything'll eventually be legalised I guess "

Yeah, I was going to say that this sounds exactly what would have been said about homosexual relations like 30 years ago:

"I guess it seems that such relationships probably arise as a result of mental illness\other problems in the family, so maybe we should consider it more of a problem than a crime."

A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Also: Sex crazy perverted liberals and their lack of dignity are ruining the world!

A Nairn (moretap), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:29 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...
how did ian what's-his-butt miss this thread???

timmy tannin (pompous), Saturday, 3 February 2007 20:03 (nineteen years ago)

UH

grbchv! (skowly), Saturday, 3 February 2007 20:18 (nineteen years ago)

Does this mean everyone who touches themselves before their 18th/21st birthday is a pedophile?

StanM (StanM), Saturday, 3 February 2007 20:45 (nineteen years ago)

Um er if they had sex with each other, and both = consenting adults, how come one is criminally responsible and not the other? Or did I not read everything through proper, or miss something obvious, or something?

The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Saturday, 3 February 2007 20:46 (nineteen years ago)

he was having a panic attack?

UART variations (ex machina), Saturday, 3 February 2007 21:17 (nineteen years ago)

She has been charged with sexual abuse of children

lol!!!!

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 3 February 2007 22:24 (nineteen years ago)

All teenagers on myspace should be charged with abuse of sanity.

Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 3 February 2007 23:56 (nineteen years ago)

Wasn't "Sylvia Payne" the name of that scary "Madame Whiplash" woman from the 70s/80s?

JTS (JTS), Sunday, 4 February 2007 11:12 (nineteen years ago)

Nah, that was Cynthia Payne.

ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 4 February 2007 11:15 (nineteen years ago)

That "UH" link is almost three years old: what happened next?

("Posted 3/29/2004")

StanM (StanM), Sunday, 4 February 2007 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

motherfucking thread

onimo (onimo), Sunday, 4 February 2007 20:46 (nineteen years ago)

dude i would have a panic attack if i was in bed w/ that woman too

vahid (vahid), Sunday, 4 February 2007 20:57 (nineteen years ago)

just skimming through the thread, i thought i'd point out that the whole "inbreeding causes mutation" thing is pretty overstated in most people's minds. generations of inbreeding between distant relations leads to some pretty scary stuff but conceiving a child w/ your brother or sister isn't particularly risky unless you already have a bunch of congenital problems anyway.

there are important enough psychological arguments against incest to not need to resort to fake biology.

vahid (vahid), Sunday, 4 February 2007 21:01 (nineteen years ago)

(xpost) I meant: what happened next in the UH story skowly linked to:

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/webguide/internetlife/2004-03-29-child-self-porn_x.htm

StanM (StanM), Sunday, 4 February 2007 21:04 (nineteen years ago)

i'm going to xpost myself here and say that on the other hand, playing dice w/ your own genes like that is a pretty unappetizing prospect ... i don't wanna be the one that finds out that i'm carrying the recessive genes for two-headedness.

vahid (vahid), Sunday, 4 February 2007 21:07 (nineteen years ago)

you are forgetting one thing: recessive genes for two-headedness are AWESOME!

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 4 February 2007 22:30 (nineteen years ago)

unless you already have a bunch of congenital problems anyway.

Except that from the sheer number of recessive genetic traits out there, any person likely is carrying a handful of them. And for each one that you have, your offspring has about a 50 50 shot of carrying it also, not even taking into account the chance of the other parent having one.

The risk is roughly linearly proportional (in a big Oh sense) to the number that the parent carriess.

UART variations (ex machina), Monday, 5 February 2007 00:45 (nineteen years ago)

So you're saying Hitler should have been promoting incest, as virtually everything defined as 'aryan' was reccesive?

Lukewarm Watery G. Tornado; Less sick than before (The GZeus), Monday, 5 February 2007 01:04 (nineteen years ago)

'should' being a poor choices of word.

Lukewarm Watery G. Tornado; Less sick than before (The GZeus), Monday, 5 February 2007 01:04 (nineteen years ago)

most recessive traits are harmless.

vahid (vahid), Monday, 5 February 2007 01:42 (nineteen years ago)

JUST SAYIN you're not gonna give birth to this

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/gallery/2002/02/01/ballen_twins.jpg

just by sleepin with your brother or sister

vahid (vahid), Monday, 5 February 2007 01:45 (nineteen years ago)

you go first

UART variations (ex machina), Monday, 5 February 2007 02:21 (nineteen years ago)

Any statistical whizzes want to compare sleeping with sibling to parent?

UART variations (ex machina), Monday, 5 February 2007 02:22 (nineteen years ago)

Maybe I should ask straight dope?

UART variations (ex machina), Monday, 5 February 2007 02:22 (nineteen years ago)

then how did those guys get born?

kyle (akmonday), Monday, 5 February 2007 03:30 (nineteen years ago)

10 generations of second and third cousins sleeping together w/o anybody new showing up

vahid (vahid), Monday, 5 February 2007 03:35 (nineteen years ago)

family trees not forkin'

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 5 February 2007 03:37 (nineteen years ago)

lotsa porkin' but not much forkin'

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 5 February 2007 03:37 (nineteen years ago)

Except that from the sheer number of recessive genetic traits out there, any person likely is carrying a handful of them. And for each one that you have, your offspring has about a 50 50 shot of carrying it also, not even taking into account the chance of the other parent having one.

The risk is roughly linearly proportional (in a big Oh sense) to the number that the parent carriess.

No, your offspring has a ONE HUNDRED percent chance of carrying the recessive gene, and a 0 to 25% of displaying it. The problem is that siblings are more likely to BOTH carry the same recessive trait.

Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Monday, 5 February 2007 03:51 (nineteen years ago)

Wait, not 100, 75% chance of carrying the recessive dream. Doing Punnett squares in yr head while stoned is not easy.

Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Monday, 5 February 2007 03:52 (nineteen years ago)

dream = trait. UH.

Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Monday, 5 February 2007 03:53 (nineteen years ago)

Also that math is assuming you don't run out and impregnate you someone who displays the recessive trait.

Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Monday, 5 February 2007 03:54 (nineteen years ago)

Yea, I think I should have been more precise :/

UART variations (ex machina), Monday, 5 February 2007 03:57 (nineteen years ago)


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