has anyone else seen the trailer for "national treasure"?

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the line between jerry bruckheimer and jerry bruckheimer parody has officially been crossed. the trailer is a work of art that will last for all time.

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:50 (twenty years ago)

What movie do i have to go and see to see this? or is it online?

― adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:51 (twenty years ago)

http://nationaltreasure.movies.go.com/main.html

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:51 (twenty years ago)

it looks like a bad version of one of those ads where it turns out at the end the dude's a marine and you're sposed to join the marines

― cinniblount (James Blount), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:52 (twenty years ago)

My first reaction was: It's Captain Von Trapp!

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:54 (twenty years ago)

Why does Nicolas Cage have a can of soup sticking out of his left shoulder blade?

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:56 (twenty years ago)

it is like the ultimate bruckheimer film:

(1) an introduction taking place in ancient egypt!
(2) avalanches! and other natural disasters!
(3) safe cracking!
(4) nicholas cage!
(5) goatee-wearing, wisecracking sidekick!
(6) hot babes! (including requisite supermodel-turned-actress wearing a suit--i'm guessing she takes it off at some point)
(7) incredibly warmed-over one-line zingers delivered with that bruckheimer gravitas!
(7) ten count 'em ten screenwriters!
(8) kitschy appeals to patriotism and historical relevance!

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:58 (twenty years ago)

omg i saw this, it was pretty mindblowing

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 9 August 2004 18:29 (twenty years ago)

it's raiders of the lost ark meets gone in 60 seconds!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 9 August 2004 18:29 (twenty years ago)

The conspiracy angle looks kind of fun!

Also I chuckled when Nic Cage looked at Jon Voight and said wearily, "Dad, I refuse to believe that."

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 9 August 2004 18:30 (twenty years ago)

sidekick: "won't they put you in jail?"
cage, looking off wearily into the distance: "yeah, they probably will."

i also believe i heard "let's do this thing."

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 18:34 (twenty years ago)

...but what is it actually about?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 9 August 2004 18:40 (twenty years ago)

from what i gather, there's some magical treasure that nic cage's family has been after for centuries (to like protect it or some shit) and the map to the treasure is written on the back of the declaration of independence! so he has to steal it before the eurobaddies do!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 9 August 2004 18:41 (twenty years ago)

This wide collar look is getting out of hand.
Bruckheimer probably had to make this movie to get into Bohemian Grove or something.

― sexyDancer, Monday, 9 August 2004 18:42 (twenty years ago)

it turns out thomas jefferson's a mummy or some shit

― cinniblount (James Blount), Monday, 9 August 2004 18:46 (twenty years ago)

yeah but is this trailer as FUCKING SWEET as the trailer for TAXI??

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Monday, 9 August 2004 18:46 (twenty years ago)

Taxi looks like a piece of shit.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 9 August 2004 18:51 (twenty years ago)

is that a remake of the french taxi?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 9 August 2004 18:57 (twenty years ago)

when i was a kid i used to think the tv show taxi was based on the movie taxi driver!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 9 August 2004 18:57 (twenty years ago)

...and Andy Kaufman as Travis Bickle

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:05 (twenty years ago)

Dude, you should have a blog where you just give one/two sentence summaries of movies. I would totally read that shit DAILY mang.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:07 (twenty years ago)

hahaha thanks nick! i have actually thought of such a thing!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:07 (twenty years ago)

DO IT

― adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:08 (twenty years ago)

that sounded a little threatening adam

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:09 (twenty years ago)

PLEASE.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:10 (twenty years ago)

sorry! It was meant to be encouraging.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:10 (twenty years ago)

s1ocki has ILX groupies!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:11 (twenty years ago)

(i was just kidding! i think i will start posting in different colors to suggest how seriously people are to take my posts. black is uterrly sincere; hot pink is totally tongue in cheek.)

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:11 (twenty years ago)

test

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:13 (twenty years ago)

And carnation pink is for when you're feeling sexy.

― Harold Media (kenan), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:13 (twenty years ago)

http://magicalmoviemagic.blogspot.com

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:13 (twenty years ago)

er, test.

maybe colors are disabled?

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:13 (twenty years ago)

Gah! No colors!

― Harold Media (kenan), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:13 (twenty years ago)

i've been stoifled!

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:14 (twenty years ago)

So it was the Masons who did it, right?

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:20 (twenty years ago)

it was zog

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:20 (twenty years ago)

it was Zhul. There is only Zhul. And, clearly, DaVinci Code knock-offery. Which is, in itself, knock-offery. So this is 2nd or 3rd rate Bruckheimer ripping off 2nd or 3rd rate Dan Brown knocking off 2nd or 3rd rate Patricia Highsmith. This is, logarithmically, approaching the apogee of suck.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:30 (twenty years ago)

somehow this ends up being my favourite movie of the year

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:31 (twenty years ago)

i have this sick feeling in my stomach.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:31 (twenty years ago)

But it may also be the equation for "Best Turkey Ever!" (xxpost)

― Harold Media (kenan), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:32 (twenty years ago)

Yes, and the trailer looked like it was trying very, very, hard to decide if it wanted to be an 'action comedy' or 'comic action movie' or 'thriller' or god-knows-what. The whole thing felt really gosh-durn endearingly earnest, kind of like a retarded kid given a bit part in the school play.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:54 (twenty years ago)

OTM

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 9 August 2004 20:13 (twenty years ago)

we need a thread devoted entirely to how much taxi is a threat to western civilization as we know it.

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Monday, 9 August 2004 20:58 (twenty years ago)

Whoa, s1ocki, I totally used to think Taxi was based on Taxi Driver when I was a kid - and I'd only seen bits of Taxi Driver on tv (and somehow knew the "you lookin' at me" parts), whereas I'd seen lots of Taxi. When I finally saw all of Taxi Driver as a teenager I had to remind myself that it wasn't supposed to be a comedy so maybe I should stop waiting for it to turn into one.
xpost

I'm probably going to love National Treasure. But I'd love it more if it was about a girl, a race horse, and an island full of pirates.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Monday, 9 August 2004 21:19 (twenty years ago)

no shit! that's hilarious! i think i also thought "alice" was based on "alice's restaurant"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 9 August 2004 21:20 (twenty years ago)

My childhood mind also linked "D.C. Cab" into that whole mess, and, therefore, "The A-Team". ya gotta love kid logic. This should be its own thread: movies you thought were based on things they really weren't based on at all.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Monday, 9 August 2004 21:36 (twenty years ago)

Diane Kruger is waaaay hotter in this than she was as Helen (in Troy).

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 9 August 2004 21:59 (twenty years ago)

no shit! that's hilarious! i think i also thought "alice" was based on "alice's restaurant"

Alice's Restaurant Doesn't Live Here Anymore

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:30 (twenty years ago)

This, quite possibly, could be the greatest film ever made.

FREEMASONS! ANCIENT EGYPT! SEAN BEAN! GREEN LASERS!

― Michael Stuchbery (Mikey Bidness), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 05:26 (twenty years ago)

This could potentially be the greatest drunk/stoner movie ever. I seriously wanna get messed up and holler Illuminati dogma at the screen.

"FUCK THIS MASONIC REVISIONIST SHIT MAN! JACQUES DE MOLAY WOULD NEVER BETRAY THE 33RD HOMES LIKE THIS! EWIGE BLUMENKRAFT MOTHERFUCKER!"

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 05:39 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 59 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

the... "Internet"?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 8 August 2005 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

it's a mason thing. the secret dies with me.

― N_RQ, Monday, 8 August 2005 13:54 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0165663/

no much there yet.

― kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 8 August 2005 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

maybe these things exist to tap kids who gre up on 'the goonies'. it's nowhere near as good, of course.

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 9 August 2005 08:16 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN.

EVER.

I MEAN IT THIS TIME.

I WAS SO, SO, SO MAD AFTER THIS MOVIE FINISHED LAST NIGHT. I WOULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT HOW CRAP THIS MOVIE WAS AND HOW NONE OF IT MADE SENSE AND I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST HIRE JEFF GOLDBLUM INSTEAD OF MAKING NICK CAGE DO A GOLDBLUM IMPRESSION? ALSO FUCK JON VOIGHT AND HARVEY KEITEL WHY THEY WANNA DO NOTHING BUT SHIT NOW.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

Around the World In 80 Days starring Jackie Chan and Steve Coogan was more believable and made significantly more sense than National Treasure, never mind the fact that Wild Wild West possibly made more sense as well, and I will stand by this claim the rest of my life.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

God this was some kind of awful crap. How come Nicholas Cage knew EVERYTHING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED, EVER? There were serious leaps in his logic and explanations and why the fuck did they have all that treasure anyway and how did they get it down there also physically impossible hiding space for secret treasure!!!! FUCK Jerry Bruckheimer. FUCK HIM.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

yup!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

Also there is no way in hell a supposedly foreign woman is getting a job that high level in the US govt and you can quote me on that one. Also there is no way in hell Harvey Keitel would either but whatever.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

whoa. ally, i totally disagree. national treasure was one of the most fun movie-going experiences of my past few years. asking it to be more believable seems like barking up the wrong tree to me. its like a huge scavenger hunt. what could be more fun? and nic cage got the joke - hes right there with you the whole time.

national treasure = genius brilliance

― petesmith (plsmith), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:12 (nineteen years ago)

This movie would be significantly improved if, during the scene where Nick Cave eludes the INCREDIBLY INCOMPETANT FBI AGENTS by divng off the side of the Intrepid and when I say diving I mean saunters kind of casually and just slowly drops off at a speed where I probably could've easily shot him, it would be better if Harvey Keitel shot him in the balls. And then Sean Bean shot Harvey Keitel in the balls, to get back at him for Bad Lieutenant and The Piano and every other "starring Harvey Keitel's balls" movie there is. Then Sean Bean gets the treasure and hooray for Hollywood.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

I'm not asking it to be believable, I"m asking it to not star Nicholas Cage and have a writer that can put together "TEH SOLVING OF TEH CLUES" a little better than whatever sad sack wrote this. "So...they wrote down...the iron pen...but all pens were made of iron back then...so why not just say...PEN...because...it is writing...a solid thing...unbreakable...THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE."

I mean, what?

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:14 (nineteen years ago)

I could've been watching Zoolander again!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:14 (nineteen years ago)

the best thing about the movie was the hot jewish 20 year old who was sarcastic every 25 minutes on cue. I liked that guy.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

and what about how there was ACTUAL TREASURE at the end? what a coup that was!

― petesmith (plsmith), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah but the actual treasure wasn't things that impressed me, I was hoping it'd be a little more "piratey" if you know what I mean?

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:18 (nineteen years ago)

whatever - any pirate wouldve shit his/her pants at the loot in that room.

― petesmith (plsmith), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

I forgot harvey keitel and sean bean were in this and jon voight, too, probably, but I remembered nicolas cage

I enjoyed this movie but it was really shit

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

i think its possible that national treasure love is closely correlated with andrew wk love. thats the most analogous feeling i have, although stronger for AWK.

― petesmith (plsmith), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

dude Andrew WK is way better than this movie.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:22 (nineteen years ago)

right - i agree. but i reaaaaaaaaaaally love andrew wk.

― petesmith (plsmith), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

I would've rather spent the 2 hours listening to Andrew WK! Or watching Zoolander!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:24 (nineteen years ago)

This movie was on when I was looking at dirty manga toys in Suncoast the other day and the 10 minutes I had to endure were the crappiest minutes ever. Sean Bean who I normally love was like "They're capitalized because they're NAMES" And Ben Franklin wrote this at 17 well Mendelssohn wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream at 17 big fuckin deal. And then Nicolas Cage was doing some dumb-ass trying to be smart face and I kept thinking of how my friend's job in Philly was interrupted so that they could film this.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:47 (nineteen years ago)

So basically Ally OTM, and I'm glad I didn't get to the part where Harvey Keitel lovingly dusts the Liberty Bell naked and then fingers Nik Cage's leg through a hole in his sock.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

y'all crazy!

― petesmith (plsmith), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

ALLY AND TOM HAVE STRONG OPINIONS! WOW!

― Jonothong Williamsmang (ex machina), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

wrong opinions.

― petesmith (plsmith), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

Yes!

― Jonothong Williamsmang (ex machina), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

Ally, are you trying to say you didn't like the movie?

― nathalie, a bum like you (stevie nixed), Friday, 7 October 2005 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

seven months pass...

from Gothamist contribute

In order to promote Jon Voight's new film, "The Legend of Simon Conjurer", he has a couple events in New York City. The film is playing at the Village East Theatre (181 Second Ave., New York, NY 10003) and after the 10:20pm showing on June 2nd he is going to participate in a Q and A with the audience. Also, between 4pm and 6pm on June 3rd, he will be signing autographs at the Angelika Theater (18 W. Houston St., New York, NY 10012). From 6pm-8pm on the same day, he will be signing autographs at the Village East Theatre (181 Second Ave., New York, NY 10003)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 10:22 (nineteen years ago)

dude Andrew WK is way better than this movie.

This is the best thing I've ever said--ever--on any film thread, wow! I still hate this movie so much but I've forgotten almost everything about it now besides really, really hating it.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 20:30 (nineteen years ago)

national treasure is your my match point

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 20:31 (nineteen years ago)

I haven't seen Match Point yet.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

I've seen national treasure

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

Should I then go and see Match Point?

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 20:52 (nineteen years ago)

no it's terrible

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 20:55 (nineteen years ago)

"So...they wrote down...the iron pen...but all pens were made of iron back then...so why not just say...PEN...because...it is writing...a solid thing...unbreakable...THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE."

Hahaha, you make it sound like Adam West in the Batman Movie!

― Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 1 June 2006 00:57 (nineteen years ago)

I make it sound totally better than it is. I still think it should've included the ball-shot scenes.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Thursday, 1 June 2006 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

this is a totally harmless movie and i cannot fathom your hate for it!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 1 June 2006 22:19 (nineteen years ago)

*adds to GreenCine queue*

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 1 June 2006 22:21 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

Why on earth did I do that.

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Friday, 21 July 2006 14:38 (eighteen years ago)

Don't say I didn't warn you.

― Allyzay will never stop making pancakes (allyzay), Friday, 21 July 2006 15:07 (eighteen years ago)

Steve, you gave into madness and you KNOWINGLY did so.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 21 July 2006 15:10 (eighteen years ago)

"a beautiful mind (seen while half-delirious and sick)

russell crowe is a brilliant mathematician who befriends three imaginary people and makes love to jennifer connelly, later everyone gives him their pens."

Magicalmoviemagic RIP ;_;

― the doaple gonger (nickalicious), Friday, 21 July 2006 19:26 (eighteen years ago)

oh yeah, that!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 21 July 2006 19:42 (eighteen years ago)

hahaha this is the best thread revive ever

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Friday, 21 July 2006 19:45 (eighteen years ago)

I can't believe NICHOLAS CAGE is going to be Ghostrider. SOOOOOO depressing.

― the doaple gonger (nickalicious), Friday, 21 July 2006 19:49 (eighteen years ago)

I still stand by my Wild Wild West/Around the World in 80 Days claim. Even with the inexplicable "You know who else has been in this hottub? U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes!" scene in Around the World. Still better than that thing about the iron pen.

― Allyzay will never stop making pancakes (allyzay), Friday, 21 July 2006 19:50 (eighteen years ago)

twelve years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pukpz1tT9jw

― Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Thursday, 28 February 2019 22:47 (six years ago)

I can't believe NICHOLAS CAGE is going to be Ghostrider. SOOOOOO depressing.
― the doaple gonger (nickalicious), Friday, July 21, 2006 12:49 PM (twelve years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

twice, no less

― Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Thursday, 28 February 2019 23:23 (six years ago)

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