Improve An Olympic Sport

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If you could make a change to the rules or equipment used in an Olympic sport to make it more fun, what change would you make?

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:10 (twenty-one years ago)

mud to be introduced to wrestling arena.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:14 (twenty-one years ago)

In addition to the biathlon, triathlon, heptathlon and decathlon, there should be events with all the other numbers of events just so I could figure out what they'd be called.

― Aaron A., Friday, 13 August 2004 08:20 (twenty-one years ago)

The U.S. basketball team would not be comprised of NBA stars but rather the Harlem Globetrotters.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:21 (twenty-one years ago)

all events which just involved one event would be renamed the athlon.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:21 (twenty-one years ago)

events with all the other numbers of events

hey, it's 5:43 a.m.

― Aaron A., Friday, 13 August 2004 08:22 (twenty-one years ago)

And have it sponsored by Intel.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha!! (x-post x2)

― Aaron A., Friday, 13 August 2004 08:23 (twenty-one years ago)

100 metres in slippers

Apologies to peter Kay

All swimming events to be done in pyjamas

Weightlifting with mechanical feather tickler under arms and mandatory imbibing of bouze.

Hammer to be real hammers.

Javelins made to look like really big darts.

Steeplechase to have fences like the Grand National made of branches

Marathon to be renamed Snickers

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Javelin involves live game. Medal winners get to feast on the results.

― robster (robster), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh I was going to suggest poison-tipped javelin, but if they eat the victims maybe not...

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:34 (twenty-one years ago)

triple jump to be replaced by this

http://www.hcn.zaq.ne.jp/sirius/mario/image/simb2c.jpg

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Pole vaulters to land in water instead of on mattress (marks awarded for style of descent)

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Shot Putt: Athlete is handed shot in the dressing room which is actually a cartoon-style bomb with a lit fuse. They then have to run to the arena, holding the shot at arms length with a suitable look of bug-eyed panic, scattering as many bystanders as possible, before lobbing it to a safe distance (bonus points are given if they take a few incorrect detours on way).

― robster (robster), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:50 (twenty-one years ago)

what Madchen said only substitute treacle for water.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 13 August 2004 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Medals awarded for synchronized swimming, speed walking, archery, and the other more dubious "sports" will now be foil-covered chocolates

― Aaron A., Friday, 13 August 2004 08:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Inclusion of a swimming event wherein you retrieve a rubber brick from the bottom of a pool.

Fencing to take place on a PIRATE GALLEON, points awarded for imaginative use of ropes.

All walking events to be accompanied by constant playing of the Benny Hill theme.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 13 August 2004 09:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Shot Putt be changed into a carzy golf event.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 13 August 2004 09:09 (twenty-one years ago)

MC Hammer Throwing

― Davel (Davel), Friday, 13 August 2004 09:10 (twenty-one years ago)

(all entrants to this event must wear hammerpants)

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 13 August 2004 09:21 (twenty-one years ago)

and before the event they've got to pray. Just to make it, today.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 13 August 2004 09:23 (twenty-one years ago)

The event should be started by someone saying:

Stop Hammertime

― Davel (Davel), Friday, 13 August 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

clay pigeon shooting to be combined with the discus

― Porkpie (porkpie), Friday, 13 August 2004 09:32 (twenty-one years ago)

piranhae in swimming pool.
interactive hurdles where spectators can vote when a hurdle magically appears on the track.
long jump on quicksand.

(did anyone see Animal Games the other night btw? ludicrous)

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Friday, 13 August 2004 09:41 (twenty-one years ago)

There needs to be more big elastic bands tied to people's backs, more big shoes that are connected in such a way that you can only take small steps, more frankenstein costumes and more greasy poles.

Sharks in the swimming pools (x-post). None of those poncy masks in the fencing. Hurdles etc to be electricfied. Starting pistols to have real bullets.

― koogs (koogs), Friday, 13 August 2004 09:43 (twenty-one years ago)

We had a go at football some time ago: The rules of football

― Japanese Giraffe (Japanese Giraffe), Friday, 13 August 2004 11:20 (twenty-one years ago)

An extra 10m added to any throwing event if you hit the judge.

― ___ (___), Friday, 13 August 2004 11:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Pints of beer instead of water along the marathon route - special awards for most impressive drunken spewing mid stride.

Rhythmic gymnastics performed in full S&M gear, using whips and chains instead of poncey ribbons.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 13 August 2004 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Everyone should perform in their traditional national dress.
The William Tell overture to be played at equestrian events

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 13 August 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Pantomime horse showjumping.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 13 August 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

the new decathlon:

nude gymnastics
whiffle baseball
unicycle racing
long jump over a pit of gators and vipers
tennis with a shuttlecock
speed-vacuuming the pool
high diving into a 55 gallon drum
three legged marathon
swimsuit competition before pool events
(also pool related) staying underwater the longest then bursting into the air singing Meatloaf's Paradise By The Dashboard Lights singing event

― jim wentworth (wench), Saturday, 14 August 2004 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

All of these are excellent ideas.

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Saturday, 14 August 2004 02:47 (twenty-one years ago)

...in bed

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 14 August 2004 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Every event naked, of course (Scott's dream)

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Saturday, 14 August 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

New judges:

http://www.grudge-match.com/Images/addams.jpg

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 14 August 2004 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Thing could hold up the scorecards.

― jim wentworth (wench), Sunday, 15 August 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

My plan would be that no one would know what event they were going to take part in until they got to the games, then they would just pick a name out of the hat and that would be their event. It would introduce a sense of amateurism to the games, and might be quite funny too.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 15 August 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

what if a gymnast picked weightlifting -- you could kill 'em! :-)

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 15 August 2004 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

at first I thought this thread was "IMPROV an Olympic Sport."

― hstencil (hstencil), Sunday, 15 August 2004 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

omg i didn't!!!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 15 August 2004 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Improv an olympic sport = unsynchronised swimming, obv.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 15 August 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

A more or less Sinkah-style post as it was originally his idea.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 15 August 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

400m Derek Baily imitation guitar relay

― hstencil (hstencil), Sunday, 15 August 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

e, even. 10K serendiptious spelling event.

― hstencil (hstencil), Sunday, 15 August 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Qualactin."

"K - W - U - L - L - A - C - K - T - I - N - G."

"...can you phrase that in the form of a solo, please?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

two words: lightning round

― Al (sitcom), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

best thread ever!

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 16 August 2004 00:20 (twenty-one years ago)

The 100 metre sprint to be replaced by the 100 metre pogo stick race.

― Wooden (Wooden), Monday, 16 August 2004 00:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Water polo to be replaced by paint drying.

― Dirty Muriel (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 16 August 2004 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.wwujd.com/mythsaboutunclejesse_files/American-Gladiators-1.jpg

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 16 August 2004 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 14 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Competetors who fail to win a medal to be transported to a specially constructed penal colony in Antarctica.

― Wooden (Wooden), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Instead of playing a country's national anthem, they should play "Rhinestone Cowboy" during all medal ceremonies.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Or "Gold," by Spandau Ballet.

― Nemo (JND), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

"Musclebound"

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe the gold-medal winner should be able to choose his or her song, like baseball players when they come up to bat. This would probably result in a lot of "Who Let the Dogs Out?", however.

― Nemo (JND), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

OK but if we're going to allow people to choose their own, they have to choose an artist that actually comes from their country.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

If a few squished gymnasts brings back the spirit of the games, then I'm all in favour of that.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

That's a good idea, Allyzay, but it would significantly reduce the chances of ever hearing Spandau Ballet.

― Nemo (JND), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Sweden would be The Final Countdown! That'd be great.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Norway would be something by Burzum. Maybe Burzum doing a cover of 'Take On Me'

― Wooden (Wooden), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Norway could have Turbonegro, they are from Norway, right?

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Germany could have FALCO

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Italy would have to be Paulo Conte.

― Wooden (Wooden), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Canada - Avril
America - Meat Loaf
Britain - Take That

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

America: William Shatner

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Spain (I think) could get the Vengaboys.

― Nemo (JND), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Women weightlifters measure their cocks after failing to lift 75K...biggest she-cock wins consulation pocket pussy.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Monday, 16 August 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

As in Biathlon, *all* Olympic sports would include pausing for sharp-shooting.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 16 August 2004 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

All events require athletes to smoke throughout, with an extra set of marks given for coolness.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

America: William Shatner

Shatner is Canadian!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

3 day eventing on micro scooters

― Porkpie (porkpie), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Synchronised hangliding.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

What country is Dragostea Din Tea from?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Romania, I'd guess?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

unsynchronised non-swimming

aka - sleeping wit da fishes

― Porkpie (porkpie), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

instead of weight classes have age classes

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Let seals and otters compete in the swimming events.

― Nemo (JND), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Long distance runners should be allowed to fire out oil slicks, smoke screens and spikes out of the back of their shoes.

― Porkpie (porkpie), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Esperanto Spelling Bee!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

They should play use tennis balls instead of bastketballs, and vice versa.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I've got the Grauniad Guide and some events are in blue, and some are in light blue, and some are just white. ??

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Instead of floor exercises in team gymnastics, all members of two teams will face off in a break dance battle royale.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

this isn't exactly what the thread asks, but mene and i were trying to think of new olympic sports last night. we were unanimous on the idea of dance-olympics. we want breakdancing, elizabethan court dancing and vogueing. and synchronised swimming knife fights.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

and the drag olympics, where everyone competes in stilettos.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

instant disqualification if one's wig falls off.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

And points added if athelete manages to sing 'I Will Survive' whilst competing.

― Wooden (Wooden), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

For the winter olympics: All bobsled teams must stop after turn three to perform a chinese fire drill.

― jim wentworth (wench), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

What is a chinese fire drill? Is it pervy?

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 09:34 (twenty-one years ago)

It can be

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 10:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Olympic smear the queer. No one/everyone wins. Come over for popsicles after, except for the guy who went home cryin' with a bloody nose.

― dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Olympic freeze-tag.

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Leapfrog as a gymnastic event.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Sod choosing your own song, EVERY winner should get Dragostea Din Tea!

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Low-gravity track and field.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Rename eveyone Draculasceau, like the gymnast last night.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there any Olympic sport that wouldn't be improved with guns?

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

(Um, except the ones that already use them, I guess.)

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 16:55 (twenty-one years ago)

There needs to be some crossover between games. Let the sharpshooters fire at the rowers. Whichever team makes it to the finish with the most rowers still breathing, wins.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I wanna be an archer!

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

guns.

― cºzen (Cozen), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

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