What's your favourite euphemism for bum sex?

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"Change at Baker Street"

(On the London Undergound Baker Street is the only junction between the Hammersmith and City line (pink) and the Bakerloo line (brown).)

― Wooden (Wooden), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"Buggery"

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

bum sex.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

gaping anal

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"riding the choo choo train to bumhaven"

― this is going to be horrible isn't it, Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

erotic bumsexery

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

going backstage

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Mr Blandings Builds his Dreamhouse

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

banging the balloon knot

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Robert Frost*

*as in:

ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

― Huck, Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

the persecution and assassination of jean-paul marat as performed by the inmates of charenton asylum under the direction of the marquis de sade

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Velveteen Bingo, you are one hilarious motherfucker.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

the ghost and mr. chicken

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought this thread was supposed to be for "euphemisms"

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

back to the beach

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

shock and awe

― Huck, Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

The Real Missionary Position

― Huck, Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"Oh geez wrong hole oh well it's all good"

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

eww bum sex is so nasty. homeless people should not be allowed to fuck.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

What, they're good enought to fight, but not to fuck? You racist.

― Huck, Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

To putt from the rough (as quoted in Good Will Hunting).

― briania (briania), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

To have sex in a very uncomfortable place

(to quote from another Ben Affleck flick)

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

impossible with current partner.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Thursday, 19 August 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I just added Robert Frost to my vocabulary- someday some man will get it right away and I'ma have so much sex with him

― doc, Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Gettin' Platonic.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

More Frost Pooper Shenanigans:
Neither Out Far Nor In Deep
The people along the sand
All turn and look one way.
They turn their back on the land.
They look at the sea all day.

As long as it takes to pass
A ship keeps raising its hull;
The wetter ground like glass
Reflects a standing gull

The land may vary more;
But wherever the truth may be--
The water comes ashore,
And the people look at the sea.

They cannot look out far.
They cannot look in deep.
But when was that ever a bar
To any watch they keep?

― Huck, Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

The Door in the Dark
In going from room to room in the dark,
I reached out blindly to save my face,
But neglected, however lightly, to lace
My fingers and close my arms in an arc.
A slim door got in past my guard,
And hit me a blow in the head so hard
I had my native simile jarred.
So people and things don't pair any more
With what they used to pair with before.

― Huck, Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Starfishing

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Going for Bronze in Athens.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"Might as well go for a soda!"

― Huck, Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

The Death of the Hired Hand. Oh, wait, that's my euphemism for a wank.

― briania (briania), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Spelunking

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

"holing up in the Imam Ali shrine"

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"fucking other men"

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

W.'s Big Fat Greek Pride By MAUREEN DOWD Published: August 19, 2004

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Stencil, is there any chance you saw Dowd and Safire on Meet the Press, like two weeks ago? I can't imagine why anyone would have been watching (and can't even remember why I was), but it was some of the most hilariously bad television I've ever seen. Safire made pretty much the worst "I'm old" joke in the history of man, and then there was a deafening silence as Dowd gave him one of her classic Valley Girl "Did you just say something?" looks.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Umm "the Kelly Riipa shuffle."

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"Greek" is the most tasteful. It's what I look for while perusing escort ads in the weeklies.

― andy, Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

no nabisco I missed it but I saw her on C-Span's Book Notes with Brian Lamb and goddamn she's kinda bum sex-worthy (if she just shut up, god her voice is so annoyingly nasal).

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

omg I can't believe I just wrote that.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe you wrote that either.

I prefer Hungarian, Slovenian, and sometimes Mongolian, but only with lots of lube.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

she looked hot though! I swear!

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

poking the brown eye

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

okay my new euphemism is "reading the NY Times Op-Ed pages." ugh.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

stretchin the onion

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

She's pretty, yes. But she has the demeanor of a stoned high school girl, and that always confuses me. Seriously, her and Safire is totally like bitchy-teenager and dodering-grandfather, like he comes into her room when her friends are there and tries to be funny and she's all like "Whatever, just go eat some prunes or something, you smell funny."

In her headshot she looks older than when in motion:

http://www.peacearchive.org/images/dowd.jpg

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

she was wearing this silver faux-Chinese thing on C-Span, it was really hot.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh wait, I know why that headshot is weird: she's smiling! Usually she just stares around like she's totally bored by the universe. And occasionally makes a disgusted face like she's smelled something.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, I am going to quit pretending I don't find her demeanor sort of attractive.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah being aloof is hot!

okay, we need to get back on-topic.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 42 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

WIZARD IS HUNGRY (10:20:58 PM): if only you had a silky love tunnel
orion0014 (10:21:05 PM): oh if only!!!
WIZARD IS HUNGRY (10:21:08 PM): and tit-tays!!!
orion0014 (10:21:16 PM): would you do me??
WIZARD IS HUNGRY (10:21:24 PM): i would lay down some pipe
orion0014 (10:21:28 PM): oh no!!!

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Thursday, 19 August 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

RUMPY PUMPY

― g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 19 August 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

taking the chunnel to france

More like 'a visit to Middlesborough'.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 19 August 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

That.

As in "Don't do that"

or, even, "Do that!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX

― kephm, Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Vasco De Gamma

― Huck, Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"Making Jesus cry with the kind of dirty touching where no babies can be made"

― Softly Weeping at the Oki Dog (Ben Boyer), Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"reuniting Sam and Frodo"

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Men's Doubles.

― Huck, Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Hobo humping

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

new questions.

― cºzen (Cozen), Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Rockin' the Suburbs!

― Huck, Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

some air show pilots are practicing over downtown chicago.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

help on a new relationhip, that maybe going south

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

try glasgow more

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

test to see if we're all just as gullible as we were in 1999?

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

We'll Dress Like Minnie Pearl

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

this is an annoying development.

― cºzen (Cozen), Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

RFI: Sunroof!

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Wooden Wand & The Vanishing Voice

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

GIVE EACH OTHER KUDOS!

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

why did "bufu" go out of style?

― Harold Media (kenan), Thursday, 19 August 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

taking the dirt road home

― dan (dan), Thursday, 19 August 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

splitting the Adam

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 19 August 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

"attention Dubliners"

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 19 August 2004 20:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Oblique strategies

― Harold Media (kenan), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"Date with the Night"

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"DEEP HURTING"

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Grim Fandango

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

with all these euphemisms to think of, its amazing anyone actually HAS bum sex.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:08 (twenty-one years ago)

people actually DO?

like who? gear's roommate?

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:08 (twenty-one years ago)

it would be a waste of learning all these euphemisms if you couldnt use them in sexual combat.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

holey communion

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

holey toledo?

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

vaginal sex

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

My friend Lyd1a would say she was just giving a blowjob, except with her ass.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

pilfering the puckerbox

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

plowing the fallow field

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 19 August 2004 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha

you put thought into that, didn't you?

― Harold Media (kenan), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

tracer I think I have a crush on yr friend

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Making a post on the All Noise Dude Summertime Fun Board and Pickle Bar

― Softly Weeping at the Oki Dog (Ben Boyer), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Curt1sss wins for "vaginal sex"

― Softly Weeping at the Oki Dog (Ben Boyer), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

BOURNVITA BYPASS.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Friday, 20 August 2004 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Darkness on the Edge of Town

(h otm re Dowd, unfortunately. Jill Abramson isn't bad either.)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 20 August 2004 05:39 (twenty-one years ago)

taking the skin boat to brown town

spending time with the priest

The Backside Glide

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Friday, 20 August 2004 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Glooping.

(Ref Augustus Gloop - he went up the chocolate chute).

― JimD (JimD), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Vegemite drilling.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 22 August 2004 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

eight years pass...

RUMPY PUMPY

― g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 19 August 2004 18:37 (8 years ago)

― every soulless meta poster is a ✰ (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Saturday, 9 February 2013 02:17 (twelve years ago)

i opened my back door a crack and got a windblown face full of snow immediately. well played, blizz

― johnny crunch, Saturday, 9 February 2013 02:22 (54 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― every soulless meta poster is a ✰ (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Saturday, 9 February 2013 02:24 (twelve years ago)

haha. It's the golden age for Euro expats, particularly those who use the STERLING M8.

― burt_stanton, Friday, November 2, 2007 8:22 AM (5 years ago)

― sarahell, Saturday, 9 February 2013 04:52 (twelve years ago)

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