Cheese Rapping

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Diss you homies, Mikey G is better
A 187 and a plate of feta.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Friday, 27 August 2004 13:46 (twenty years ago)

Bit early to be drunk, G?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 27 August 2004 13:51 (twenty years ago)

I haven't touched a drop. It's my brain, it's gone wrong.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Friday, 27 August 2004 13:58 (twenty years ago)

Nice one Mikey, your cheque's in the mail
your rhymes are cheesier than Wensleydale.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 27 August 2004 13:59 (twenty years ago)

Wooden be da bomb, listen and you'll see
He's chunkier than cheddar and he's creamier than brie.
Word!

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:02 (twenty years ago)

My name is Nick A. and I aim to please
I get your holes open like your name was Swiss cheese

I'm sorry.

― n.a. (Nick A.), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:02 (twenty years ago)

never wrap your cheese in plastic, use wax paper instead.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:06 (twenty years ago)

Y'all are wack and ya know it - yeah sue me
My rhymes are more pungent than a slice of halloumi

― oh god, Friday, 27 August 2004 14:14 (twenty years ago)

stilton, ya still dumb, my uzi still weighs a ton, son
young's better than some, ya cheddar's wetter than dung

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:22 (twenty years ago)

I liked the milk rap better. Those farmers had mad skillz.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:23 (twenty years ago)

haha, this thread had certainly brightened my friday afternoon!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:25 (twenty years ago)

My milk's gone sour, in under an hour,
Now it's more cheesy than David Gower

― make it stop, Friday, 27 August 2004 14:31 (twenty years ago)

Hulumi isnt particularly pungent

― lukey (Lukey G), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:34 (twenty years ago)

I don't want to meet your mouda
I just want to eat your gouda.

― Rockist_Scientist (rockist_scientist), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:37 (twenty years ago)

Im Mature like cheddar
only a little bit better
thats right i be the man
make all the ladies say edam
skin creamy like Boursin
muscles hard like parmesan
all the ladies gettin fatter
cause they cant resist
my cheese platter
Biiatch!

― lukey (Lukey G), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:41 (twenty years ago)

Well my name's Dog Latin and I'm the number one fella
Wave my thumbs in the air then put them in some mozarella

ihttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v192/doglatin/a_picture_of_me_being_number_one_again_but_also_looking_a_bit_monged_on_shrooms.jpg

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:41 (twenty years ago)

I look like havarti and I smell like brie
I ran past edam and I landed on three

― cheesehead (Jocelyn), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:42 (twenty years ago)

I saw a little lady I said "Will you be my gal?"
She said "No way foo' I be eatin' this here Babybel"

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:42 (twenty years ago)

Your rappins so wack
You startin to fester
You ass be smellin
like old Red Leicester

You mamma wanna fuck me
I tell her it cost her
She say she so poor
Will I take Double Gloucester

― MC Wensleydale (GerryNemo), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:42 (twenty years ago)

So slow up your roll and stop all your vices
Cos this Friday afternoon we be handin' out Kraft slices

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:43 (twenty years ago)

She don't want know scrub
She don't want know baller
Just a piece of bread
And a slice of Gorganzola

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:45 (twenty years ago)

er.. "know" = "no"

it is Friday after all.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:45 (twenty years ago)

Eatin cheese in the mornin'
Cheese in the evenin'
But don't you eat it late at night
Or you'll be mad gay dreamin'

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:46 (twenty years ago)

Tracer, take that mozarella to Rocafella
I got a beef with your cheese so when you're all alone
my posse's rollin' provolone and throw you in the cella'
without a cell-phone or chicken bone

― Rockist_Scientist (rockist_scientist), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:47 (twenty years ago)

Babybel rules indeed eternally
B.R.I.E.
get the hollumi
and cheddar cheddar cheese y'all!!!!!!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:47 (twenty years ago)

I think DL has found his callin! ;-)

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:47 (twenty years ago)

People say I rap like Eminem
Others say like Missy
Some say I sound like Ad-Rock
But I'm down with Dairylea

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:48 (twenty years ago)

I got me a bull and that ain't no shit
Why? cuz they call me la vache qui rit

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:49 (twenty years ago)

Your nasty Limburger makes me want to vomit
I'm a cheese connoisseur just like Wallace & Gromit

― n.a. (Nick A.), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:51 (twenty years ago)

Yo I'm on my way out of the door
But will slam your cheese down to the floor:
Just jump up and say "si si"
I got the number of your Vache Que Rit.

xpost CRIKEY MINDMELD

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:51 (twenty years ago)

In a tub of Philladelphia born and raised
in the fridge is where i spent most of my days
cooling down, congeeling, fermenting
Till a couple of folks
with a bagett or two
started making a meal
of you know who

― lukey (Lukey G), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:55 (twenty years ago)

Your rhymes ain't fit to be spread on Ryvita
Cardboard, flat like yo' girlfriend Rita
My cheese rhymes are stinky, funky and lean
So crack out the gruyere, cos you know we're all keen

Your rhymes don't even stand up
They make me wanna spew
So everybody throw yo' hands up
and and eat some Danish blue

Word.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 27 August 2004 14:59 (twenty years ago)

jack colby nigga you aint hungry as me
naw naw one slice two slice fat free? fuck that!
get off yr tuffet, suck it, you crumblin feta
yall betta - ask around, gouda with the wax 8.50 a pound
i cut you crossways, cube you like chedda
my beretta - in hand, look up look down, you holed up like brick
of swizterlaaaaand

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 27 August 2004 15:02 (twenty years ago)

*instrumental break*

aww, yeeeah - it's the cheeze rap niggaz

Welcome to the 36 Cheddars Wu Tang Killa Cheez fo' real.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 27 August 2004 15:04 (twenty years ago)

g--ff got it goin' on!

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 27 August 2004 15:05 (twenty years ago)

I hit you hard on the mike, ya'll got no time to be comin up for air
And all your motherfuckin flows be stinking worse than camembert
Yeah, all your motherfuckin flows, that's you and you and you
I eat you motherfuckers up like a wedge of port salut

I'm out.

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 27 August 2004 15:09 (twenty years ago)

Don't wanna boast but your pussy so rank it smells like getost

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Friday, 27 August 2004 15:15 (twenty years ago)

I'm cheesy like swiss/a bad joke terrorist/i poke holes in ya bliss/hey that rhymes with piss

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 27 August 2004 15:28 (twenty years ago)

why has this thread died? come on! this is pathetic!

― dog latin (dog latin), Saturday, 28 August 2004 09:03 (twenty years ago)

i please your unease/with a rhyme about cheese/c'mon a donkey has better skils than these/ebola is a contagious disease

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 28 August 2004 09:10 (twenty years ago)

sure my skills may be less than ill/but i'm no good at sitting still

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 28 August 2004 09:12 (twenty years ago)

maybe like cheddar if i age i'll get better

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 28 August 2004 09:13 (twenty years ago)

I'm Mr. Plow and I'm here to say...

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 28 August 2004 09:19 (twenty years ago)

I'm the music mole, and yes I live in a hole
And I burrow up a furrow like a platinum pole
Leading straight to the source of the meaning of life
Copping plaudits from you all except the one you call trife

In the cheesy rap war I take the golden claw
Because I scratch up a groove that makes you fall through the floor
And then you enter my world, surrounded by the sound
Of the mole in the hole, lord of the underground

I cannot see but my nose is sensitive to a groove
They call me stinky cos I sniff you and I make my move
And I will snuffle you up and drag you down by the fur
And you say, 'moley, don't hurt me - where we going, sir?'

I say 'we're going to a place which is cosy like a teapot
And once you get to know me, then both of us will see what
We can do to have fun in my damp abode
Six feet under the ground, you'll find the motherlode'

Cos the mole got time to show you round my system
Pumping earth like a machine, cos I'm a furry piston
I just generate beats with my tiny feets
I got rats, grubs and worms yeah all kinds of treats

I thump my paws as I claw through my catacomb
And my ears are attuned to the sonic boom
I stay away in the day, cos I don't like the light
Like Stevie I'm blind, but when the day turns to night

You'll find me in the woods - hey babe are you nocturnal?
What say we break a nut and we can share the kernel?
But when daybreak comes it's time to scurry away
Cos when the sun shines then we don't make no hay

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Saturday, 28 August 2004 11:21 (twenty years ago)

*insert sample of man off BBC4 folk festivals advert here*

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Saturday, 28 August 2004 11:24 (twenty years ago)

LET ME PUT ME WILLY IN YER MOUTH AND MAKES ALL ME CHEESY SPUNK COME OUT IVE GOT A CHEESY NOB I WANK SO MUCH THAT I GRATE ALL THE CHEESE OF ME NOB TEHN I MAKE MY CHEESE SPUNK IN YER GRANS FANNY

― GARRU C, Saturday, 28 August 2004 12:13 (twenty years ago)

Unfortunately you lack the necessary art for this kind of thing.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 28 August 2004 14:01 (twenty years ago)

"LET ME PUT ME WILLY IN YER MOUTH AND MAKES ALL ME CHEESY SPUNK COME OUT IVE GOT A CHEESY NOB I WANK SO MUCH THAT I GRATE ALL THE CHEESE OF ME NOB TEHN I MAKE MY CHEESE SPUNK IN YER GRANS FANNY"

That's probably the most British thing I've ever read. Please come to my "UK English" thread, Garru!

― JTS, Saturday, 28 August 2004 14:04 (twenty years ago)

We'll sort it out, mano a mano
Bring yo' Roquefort and Parmezzano

― JTS, Saturday, 28 August 2004 14:05 (twenty years ago)

Most times when I rhyme I’m off the hook
until I took a big bite off a loaf of Tillamook
Now I know about good shit that comes from Oregon
I be rollin it up whenever I can get my hands on some
but this cheese, man, it stuck to the roof of my mouth
my rhymes? so slow you’d think I came from the south
I don’t like sounding dumb like some Paris Hilton
Next time I’m gonna stick with a bite of Stilton

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Saturday, 28 August 2004 15:37 (twenty years ago)

You be limp like dairylea
I wouldn't eat you for my tea

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 28 August 2004 15:42 (twenty years ago)

What, you think you some Caseous Clay?
Dissin on me on a Saturday?
You may think you’re smooth like Philly cream,
But I’d spit you out faster than Listerine.
You acting more bitter than Provolone.
All I got to say is The Cheese. Stands. Alone.

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Saturday, 28 August 2004 15:57 (twenty years ago)

yo I don't mean to give all y'all beef
but you gotta rap your cheese with a chestnut leaf.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 28 August 2004 20:01 (twenty years ago)

and don't rap it in plastic or your cheese will go spastic
and don't be sweatin' the mold it's the best part (or so i've been told)

― scott seward (scott seward), Saturday, 28 August 2004 20:25 (twenty years ago)

Yo stop, collaborate and listen
I got the dope rhyme this thread be missin'
My rhyme is sizzlin' like smoky gouda
it make yo sista, yo momma and yo brudda
Get wet, just like a block of feta
they know I'm sharper than 5 year old chedda
i melt them down like a big fondue
while all you sucka's just crumble like Blue
ya'll rhymes be moldy like Roquefort
shut yo mouth son, you got no retort

― Queen Electric Butt Prober BZZT!! BZZZZZT!! (Queen Electric Butt Prober BZZ), Sunday, 29 August 2004 00:13 (twenty years ago)

You might be my biggest fan/
but I prefer the taste of parmesan

― Nellie (nellskies), Sunday, 29 August 2004 04:04 (twenty years ago)

I would take you down right now/
If I weren't currently indulging in Laughing Cow

― Nellie (nellskies), Sunday, 29 August 2004 04:06 (twenty years ago)

i am so actually going to record the Cheese Rap for real!

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 29 August 2004 15:43 (twenty years ago)

MY NAMS GARU G AND IM A NICE FELLA ME NOB CHESSE SMELLS LIKE MOZARELLA I PUT IT IN YER MOUTH THE SPUNKY CUMS OUT TEHN YOU SPIT IT ON YER NANS FANNY AND LICK IT OFF AGAIN COS YOU LIKE CHEESE SO MUCH

― GARU G, Sunday, 29 August 2004 16:18 (twenty years ago)

MY NAMES GARU G AND I RAP LIKE A RASTA I GRATE MY NOB CHEESE ON YER PASTA YOU HAVE A TASTE AND NEVER WASTE WEHN YOR NAN PUTDS ME NOB IN HERE MOUTH SHE HAS TO USE TOOTHPASTE COS ME NOB STINKS OF FOOKIN MATURE CHEDDER SHOW ME YER NAN AND I LIKE TO BED HER PUT ME NOB CHEESE ON HER TONGUE STICK ME BABY BELL IN HER BUM

― GARU G, Sunday, 29 August 2004 16:21 (twenty years ago)

WEHN I SEE YER NAN SHE SAYS "GARU PLEASE.GIVE ME A TASTE OF YOUR SWEET NOB CHEESE" I SAY NO ONLY IF U BLOW GET DOWN LOW AND GIVE IT A GO IT TASTES OF CHEDDER IT GETS NO BETTER WHEN YER NAN SEES ME CHEESE HER FLANGE GETS WETTER MINE SMELLS OF CHEEDDER HERS SMELLS OF COD ME NAMES GARU G AND IM A DIRTY SOD IF YOU LIKE CHEESE THEN GIVE ME A BELL BELIEVE ME LOVE ME NOB REALLY SMELLS IT PACKS A PUNCH U CAN EAT IT FOR LUNCH EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT YER NAN LIKES TO MUNCH IT IS CHEDDER IS IS BRIE ME NOB CHEESE SMELLS WORSE THAN YER NAN BETTY SHES GOT FLABBY FLAPS THAT SMELL LIKE FISH IF U LIKE ME NOB CHEESE I CAN PUT IT ON YER DISH HER FLAPS ARE RANK SMELLS LIKE A FISH TANK I GOT MORE CHEESE ON ME NOB THAN FRANK

― GARU G, Sunday, 29 August 2004 16:28 (twenty years ago)

the all caps is killing me

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Monday, 30 August 2004 01:15 (twenty years ago)

put a cap in his nob
blam blam blam
that should do the job

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Monday, 30 August 2004 01:18 (twenty years ago)

I thought nob meant dick
circa two thousand and two
but that's knob (and I'm thick)
rub my face in some poo.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 30 August 2004 01:23 (twenty years ago)

his spunk done sunk
I drove his chevre to the levre
now his nob's all dry
bye, bye garu g, bye, bye

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Monday, 30 August 2004 01:25 (twenty years ago)

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