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At the ILE christmas party I think we should have an ILE awards - but we need some categories. Frivolous and non-hostile please. And if you hate the cliquey aspect of all this then feel free to ignore entirely.

― Tom, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Will the people recieve their awards with a curtsey?

― rainy, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But of course!

― Tom, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

pipe smoker of the year

― Ed, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

however on a meta point:-

why does western society, particularly but far from exclusively, feel the need to hand out pointless awards to itself?

― Ed, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What makes them seem "pointless" to you Ed?

― Tom, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

validation. absence of deity elevates human as higher/highest form, not sublimated to 'god'.

my hair will have grown a bit by then, so i suggest a coolest hair category

― gareth, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

and i'm sure you'll all agree with me that a coolest hair category is anything but pointless.

― gareth, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Surely the classic number 1 cut would rool any Coolest Hair Category award. Versatile, stylish, easy to maintain - a haircut that's straight to the point.

And it's useful if you're a bald fucker.

― Mark C, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sponsored by Vladivar Vodka, it's the EXPOSED AWARD for the most intense, gut-wrenching, over-honest piece of intricate self-analysis or humiliating revelation during the year on ILE.

― chris, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And Editors Choice, in which those with the power to moderate each choose their single favourite thread and single favourite post.

― chris, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best use of the word cockfarmer in a dramatic situation.

― Alan Trewartha, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

an award for the post that made you snort the most coffee over your keyboard?

― chris, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

An award for the post or posts that got someone in most trouble (with boss / other half / mates / whoever).

― Emma, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best poster called James with freedunit@hotmail.com as their e-mail address!

Or bad pun of the year.

― james, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

coolest vegan. Toraneko's on the other side of the world and eats veal anyway, so i should at least get that one! otherwise there should be a Wisdom award, and Funniest When Drunk award.

― katie, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah, screw you, Chris! That "Too Much Information" award will be right next to "Most Sarccy Put-Down" won't it? (please note the smile on my face as I post this which you obviously cannot see.)

― Ugly Wife, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What would we actually get in terms of "awards"? Money? Free Hamill on Trial CD? £15 MFI voucher? Night out with Tanya Headon?

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sorry, missed best hair category. Yes, Gareth wins best hair. And longest eyelashes, as well. Bastard!

― Ugly Wife, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

poster most likely to be in tompaulin

― Alan Trewartha, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Same prize as at Trig Brother: a date with Hanle y Deus.

― RickyT, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

bad pun of year = me no trubZoR ("plato dinner" as i recall)

― mark s, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best Thread Of The YEar (though we all know the strong favourite for this).

Best Thread To Stay On Topic

Best Thread To Go Off Topic

Best Post

Best Poster (In a dramatic / serious way)

Best Poster (In a comic or musical way)

Lifetime Achievement Award

― Pete, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best posting nickname.

― Tom, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Most humiliating photo of self posted by self to IL* (a certain pair of very pink leggings spring to mind).

― Madchen, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

grumpiest asshole of the year!

― Geoff, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm making a late run for best name!

I think there should be an award for most overall use of exclamation marks!!!!!

Also, best link.

― sleepy seaplane, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Worst Speller. Person you'd most like to meet.

― stevo, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Longest unanswered thread: Give Sundar some loving.

― Graham, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best use of CAPITALS. Best SpellXoR!

― Sarah, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

sundar's question is only a week or two old...
ILM's unanswered q.s go back to October 2000...

― m jemmeson, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best new addition made to English language

― m jemmeson, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Rear of the Year.

― Nick, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best use of blue letters.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best coprophiliac pictures.

― Kodanshi, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

thread killer

― chris, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was gonna say rear of the year too. But only cos it's the only category I have a chance in.

― Ally C, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Most irregular poster/Smallest contribution to the board.

― Steve.n., Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best odd couple.

Best text freestyle.

― Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There are backs and they will be slapped.

Predicted list of awards:

Ally Award - Ally

Best Newcomers - joint award to Dunedin posse

Hanle y Award - Hanle y

Best/Worst/Funniest/Most Moving Thread - picked from whatever's on the current board that particular week as no one will remember anything beforehand

Suzy Award - Suzy

Tom Award - Tom

"Think of a Name for it" Award - Mark S

Another Ally Award - Ally

Fatnick Award - Fatnick (to be accepted by DG in his absence)

Booze-Up/Get It Up With The Cock Award - perm any 12 from 9

Special Life Achievement Award - to the solitary IL* poster who hasn't been tempted to look up Friends Reunited

― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, I think I've got that pipe smoker category in the bag...

― DG, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Special Life Achievement Award - to the solitary IL* poster who hasn't been tempted to look up Friends Reunited

That'd be me, then.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You're American so it would be pretty pointless. Have you looked on US equivalent (schoolfriends.com or whatever it is)?

― Nick, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

who has used it to post rude messages tho? (= news story which made me chuckle most in last week)

― mark s, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Have you looked on US equivalent (schoolfriends.com or whatever it is)?

Nope. I guess I win or something.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Can I just please have an award for being me? It's not easy you know (*sniff*...hopes to get sympathy vote ;)

― james, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I never looked up that stupid friends site either.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That's cause you only left this summer or something, Ronan. What a lame reunion that would be.

― Nick, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I looked up earlier this week (classmates.com in us) and was amazed at how many of my former classmates had kids. multiple kids. And all I had was a lingering feeling of illness from the weekend's excesses. . .

― Samantha, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah I know. If I wanted to see my schoolmates I'd go to "The Palace" shit nightclub on Camden Street. Actually I go there sometimes, their 1.50 a drink offer buys my soul.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best Pedant
Best Namedropper
Best Filth, Non Sexual
Best Filth Sexual .

― anthony, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best Cajoler
Best Thread Resuscitator
Best Comebacks
Best HTML
Most Varied
Most Consistent
Most Stupidest

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best tease.

Best flirt.

Least comprehensible.

Best straight man.

― Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Unfortunately poster X couldn't be here tonight, so I'm happy to except this award on their behalf, because Heaven knows I should've won it. I'd like to thank..."

― james, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Most Fictional

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Biggest user of IL* slang
Two most likely to be the same person
Most succinct
Most long-winded (longest-winded?)
Biggest whiner

― Vinnie, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is someone going to put together a ballot for this?

― Samantha, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes. I'm working out how to do it best.

― Tom, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I hope you don't forget l'il ole me! The Old Crow!!!! lol

― Gale Deslongchamps, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Shyest, chubbiest, hungirst, most loutish, AMMON, the Bascom memorial 1907 award, the almost death award, flourest, Bushmiller cheesecake chick award.

― 1 1 2 3 5, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

can i be best op-shopper? or most rash poster?

― di, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Most likely to turn down the "honour" on "ethical grounds".

(which reminds me...)

Most flagrant abuse of "quotation marks".

― Kim, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I win Ugliest Poster.

― rainy, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Most blatant lie resulting in torrent of compliments.

― Kim, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

no, I just looked in a mirror. I havent showered today and I cut my own hair with a pair of childs scissors.

― rainy, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

most ethan-y kim retort.

― ethan, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Are those the scissors with the rounded points so you don't cut yourself? I couldn't cut cheap construction paper with those damnable things. Dear lord, why subject your hair to such things?

― David Raposa, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

don't encourage her.

― ethan, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes they are. I did it to cheer someone up. It was funny at the time.

― rainy, Wednesday, 14 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best flow

Most consistent

Realest stories

Hottest interviews

― Tim, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best flow = Pinefox! He's been practising along with Beanie Siegel. SNERK!

― Sarah, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think you'll find I'm uglier than all other posters put together.

Why isn't there an award for "Person You Wish Would Post Less"?

― Ugly Wife, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Because that would be mean.

― Tom, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

what about Best Blog/Site?

― gareth, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

most outspoken supporter of Bis despite the weight of opinion

― Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Best Blog is a good one actually. I'd thought about putting that in the FT poll though rather than in this cliquey thing.

― Tom, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

there could be something to encompass people who are more prominent on ILM, because some of the people who say loads of good stuff aren't hugely on ILE.

― gareth, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Best ILM Poster" has been added!

― Tom, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes! Now I can get a vote for my true love Sean the Janet Fan in. It's such a pity I'm engaged to another, now he'll nevah be mine!

― Nicole, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Excuse me, but how can we have awards without Most Fanciable Male/Female categories?

― Graham, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh hang on, we have, just INCORRECTLY NAMED grrr.

― Graham, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Certain categories have already turned mean, but then again, meanness solely towards me never counts, does it, Tom?

― Ugly Wife, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

For goodness sake Kate of course it counts. If you find the comments on the ego thread offensive then I'll get rid of them - but you did reply to them implying you didn't.

― Tom, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oop, sorry, there's something on "love to hate" too which I didn't notice.

― Tom, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

>>> Best flow = Pinefox! He's been practising along with Beanie Siegel. SNERK!

????????

― the pinefox, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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