oral sex - search and destroy

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teabagging, deep throating, biting, tugging, etc etc, S&D! (this post is for men and women)

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:55 (twenty years ago) link

Oh no, I'm so sorry to have brought this up now. :-(

I'm not going to read this thread because it will only depress me further.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:56 (twenty years ago) link

sorry.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:57 (twenty years ago) link

"Cackle my gladys"

― JimD (JimD), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:58 (twenty years ago) link

"shove your balls up my nose"

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:00 (twenty years ago) link

"chow down on the furry burger"

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:02 (twenty years ago) link

i dont think anything can beat the sensation of deepthroating for a man. i mean, seriously, i think its untoppable.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:04 (twenty years ago) link

im trying to think what the equivalent of deepthroating for a woman is, but im not sure. i guess it would be when you ply your tongue as far as it can go.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:05 (twenty years ago) link

And then men wonder why I hate receiveing oral sex.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:07 (twenty years ago) link

hmmmmm, well i dont mean ramming it down there or being hard and forceful or anything. my GF seems to like being gently french kissed down there (which is what i meant).

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:09 (twenty years ago) link

is this about the terms or the acts?

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:10 (twenty years ago) link

will someone please explain teabagging for hanna?

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:32 (twenty years ago) link

Fine...

When a guy squats down over his partners mouth and drops his beanbag into partners mouth like dipping a teabag.

Theres also Arabian Goggles.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:35 (twenty years ago) link

once your educated on the art of teabagging we'll move on to lesson two "Arabian Knights: Arabian Goggles".

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:40 (twenty years ago) link

Destroy - teeth on the glans.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:41 (twenty years ago) link

I mean someone else's teeth, obv.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:41 (twenty years ago) link

Hahahahahahahaha! I don't think I'd be able to engage in 'teabagging' without laughing myself senseless! Thanks for explaining!

― Hanna (Hanna), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:42 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.batworld.org/worldbatline/images/dw.side%20teeth.rs.jpg

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:43 (twenty years ago) link

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:43 (twenty years ago) link

ok so to tea bag someone, are you the person with the dangling balls, or are you the peron wih the open mouth, in other words who is the tea bagger and who the bagee? I always thought the one lowering their balls was the teabagger, but friends have it the other way round, who is right?

― lukey (Lukey G), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:53 (twenty years ago) link

i thought teabagging was when the girl filled her mouth with hot water and the guy lowered his balls into her mouth.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:54 (twenty years ago) link

thats delving too deep. just drop and enjoy.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:55 (twenty years ago) link

yeah i forgot the hot water part.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:55 (twenty years ago) link

so what are the dos and dont of going down on women?

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:59 (twenty years ago) link

The thing is, when I'm making a cup of tea, I don't dip the bag in and out. I just pour the water on it, leave it for a few seconds, and then squish it against the side of the cup using the back of a teaspoon.

Ouch.

xpost

― JimD (JimD), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:00 (twenty years ago) link

Sometimes I put two in at the same time if I fancy it a bit stronger.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:02 (twenty years ago) link

Two is difficult because they often overspill, and it's hard to manage, but it makes for better tea, I find.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:05 (twenty years ago) link

Sometimes I put two in at the same time if I fancy it a bit stronger.

Yes but how do you like your tea?

― Mr Obvious (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:06 (twenty years ago) link

Exactly

xpost

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:07 (twenty years ago) link

scarfin on the beef curtains!
eatin man chowder!
blastin man shampoo!
"Watch out, my testicular tea is about to fly!"

― brock (brock), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:07 (twenty years ago) link

call me ThRED KILLA

― brock (brock), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:41 (twenty years ago) link

so what are the dos and dont of going down on women?

Do.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:44 (twenty years ago) link

i never would have thought it, being completely against facial hair, but the soul patch can be a really good tool when going down on girls...

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:47 (twenty years ago) link

God, no, don't.

I know that this will lead to the endless accusations of mentalism, but although I don't mind and even actually enjoy giving, I do NOT like receiving.

Lick my toes, oh yes. But put your mouth anywhere near my sensitive bits? I don't think so.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:47 (twenty years ago) link

i wasn't convinced either, till i met mr. soul patch...

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:48 (twenty years ago) link

I didn't mind beard on my thighs, it was nice in a sort of sensitive tickling sort of way.

But I don't like cunilingus, I never have. That's something that I am really indifferent to disliking of, and have felt like I had to endure to make partners happy. And that's possibly the *worst* bit - when they act like they're doing this huge deal of a thing for you, even after you explain that you DON'T LIKE IT.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:50 (twenty years ago) link

I know quite a few women who don't like receiving. Whatever mows yer lawn.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:51 (twenty years ago) link

yeah, I've known one or two girlfriends who didn't like cunnilingus, too. Which, unfortunately, is probably what most guys (not all, and not THIS GUY) want.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:53 (twenty years ago) link

okay that's not really fair of me, but hey.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:54 (twenty years ago) link

I don't think that's true, hstencil.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:55 (twenty years ago) link

yeah probably not.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:56 (twenty years ago) link

No, it's not true at all. Most if not all guys I've been with have this weird macho "look how little of a problem I have with licking pussy!" attitude when deep down, almost all guys suck the cat.

(OK, this is when the non-cunilingus guys on ILX come out of the closet, so I know who I can date and be happy...)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:57 (twenty years ago) link

Is it possible that those who don't like receiving oral sex simply haven't found anyone who is any good at it yet? It seems so good to me that it's hard to imagine that it can't be good for everyone else too.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:58 (twenty years ago) link

whoa, if dudes say "look how little of a problem I have with licking pussy!" then they probably don't like it. I honestly like it, but if a girl doesn't want me to, that's fine too.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:59 (twenty years ago) link

i hate doing it. i have to date a girl a good long while before she gets so much as a lick.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 13:59 (twenty years ago) link

i think most guys like doing it tho. most my mates think i'm crazy.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 14:00 (twenty years ago) link

omg if I had a gf who didn't like cunnilingus I'd die :(

(sorry Kate, I unconditionally and unequivocally love it, no messin')

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 14:01 (twenty years ago) link

if you unconditionally and unequivocally love it, that's a lot of messin'!

(sorry)

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 14:02 (twenty years ago) link

No, it's not a question of "not finding someone who is good at it".

That's what EVERY guy always claims, and sorry, but the answer is still the same.

I just have some kind of deep-seated, possibly psychological DISLIKE of it. It makes it impossible for me to relax. When I've been with a guy a really long time, and it obviously means a lot to him, I can learn to tolerate it and not freak out or be uncomfortable. But it's not something I'm ever going to learn to like, and I resent the implication (not you, obviously, Martin, but guys I've been with who have taken this tack) that some particular "technique" or something is suddenly going to change my mind.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 14:03 (twenty years ago) link

Kate is OTM, unless you figure out a way to get rid of the psychological aspect (which may or may not be possible, and even if you do it is not possible to get rid of it ALL the time) then no supa special technique* is going to do anything for you.

* I still kind of find this hysterical, I mean yeah there are BAD ways of doing it but still, what does this exactly mean?

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 14:05 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 274 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Lauren is using sex as a weapon?

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 2 September 2004 23:20 (twenty years ago) link

As well she should!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 2 September 2004 23:21 (twenty years ago) link

"meet my friend?"

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 2 September 2004 23:22 (twenty years ago) link

perhaps "say hello to my little friend" should be a euphemism.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 2 September 2004 23:23 (twenty years ago) link

It already is, isn't it?

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 2 September 2004 23:23 (twenty years ago) link

I thought it was!

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Thursday, 2 September 2004 23:24 (twenty years ago) link

I guess so!

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 2 September 2004 23:24 (twenty years ago) link

it is now

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 2 September 2004 23:24 (twenty years ago) link

Yeah, hstencil. You know all those times people said "say hello to my little friend" - did you not notice that they were always waving their genitals at you and there was no 'friend'.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 2 September 2004 23:25 (twenty years ago) link

it's only a movie, alba.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 2 September 2004 23:26 (twenty years ago) link

Did I just read this right and there was some confusion over whether that phrase was a euphemism? Are we next going to ponder about whether "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?" has a subtext?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 September 2004 00:48 (twenty years ago) link

three months pass...

DOUBLE-HOORAY FOR THE SEARCH FUNCTION!!!!!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 19:34 (twenty years ago) link

aw you guys started this thread on the day I got married! how thoughtful.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 19:56 (twenty years ago) link

This thread is a piece of art.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 19:57 (twenty years ago) link

aw you guys started this thread on the day I got married! how thoughtful.

*wonders what exactly the ceremony involved now*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 19:58 (twenty years ago) link

Rimjob?

-- R.I.M.A. (b4rim4_...), September 1st, 2004.

― contribute, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 20:09 (twenty years ago) link

Yodelling in the Valley

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 20:12 (twenty years ago) link

ABE LINCOLN

WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP WORLD DO WE LIVE IN THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED ENOUGH TO WARRANT IT HAVING A NAME!?!?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 20:28 (twenty years ago) link

Since I can't click on any of the links, will some one please explain this Abe Lincoln thing? I assumed it meant that you pulled out and shot your load at the back of the lady's head, which sounds, umm, underwhelming to me.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 20:31 (twenty years ago) link

ABE LINCOLN - This is where you find a woman who has passed out and jerk off all over her face, then shave her pubic hair off and put it on her face in the shape of an abe lincoln beard

― I will never forgive MR DJP for the link which led me to this knowledge, ever (n, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 20:33 (twenty years ago) link

That is punishable by chemical castration.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 20:35 (twenty years ago) link

Although I must also thank the man for the link, else these eyes might never have witnessed the glory of the phrase "Ejaculatory Inevitability".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 20:37 (twenty years ago) link

B-b-but aren't people saying Lincoln was gay? Surely a sex act named in his honor would have to be for male-only couples.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 23:04 (twenty years ago) link

I'm sure you could cum-paste pubic hair on a guy just as well as you could on a gal.

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 23:11 (twenty years ago) link

I bargain that nobody has ever actually done an abe lincoln. just ridiculous.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 23:23 (twenty years ago) link

search: Loretta (the fact that she had this Eliza Dushku thing going didn't hurt!)

destroy: Kristen (gahhh! teeeeeth!)

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 23 December 2004 01:02 (twenty years ago) link

receiving: i'm all for it, but i like to be freshly showered beforehand.

and yeah, ears, neck, toes... it's all fair game. :-)

― definitely not stockholm cindy, Thursday, 23 December 2004 01:28 (twenty years ago) link

B-b-but aren't people saying Lincoln was gay? Surely a sex act named in his honor would have to be for male-only couples.

-- j.lu (jlut...) (webmail), December 22nd, 2004 11:04 PM. (j.lu) (link)

or rather, something hetero couples could do but is suspiciously gay

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 23 December 2004 01:47 (twenty years ago) link

i really want to contribute more to this thread but my natural reserve prevents me

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 23 December 2004 01:49 (twenty years ago) link

UNLEASH THE BEAST, AMST

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 23 December 2004 01:52 (twenty years ago) link

In the meantime, during the Dan Perry presidency, I plan to set up pools to wager, during the President's State of the Union addresses, how many minutes before he includes the word "bootyflakes" in his speech.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 23 December 2004 01:54 (twenty years ago) link

UNLEASH THE BEAST, AMST

-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), December 23rd, 2004 1:52 AM. (Ned) (link)

you never relate any information about your sexual preferences or experiences or opinions! why would you suggest i do so?

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 23 December 2004 01:56 (twenty years ago) link

My virginity makes me frisky
My simplicity holds me back

― Carmina Amateura (Dan Perry), Thursday, 23 December 2004 16:03 (twenty years ago) link

is that a paraphrase from carmina burana?

― Clueless Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 23 December 2004 17:04 (twenty years ago) link

Yes; it's the English translation of one of the women's verses in "Tempus est iocundum":


Mea mecum ludit                     My virginity
virginitas,                         makes me frisky,
mea me detrudit                     my simplicity
simplicitas.                        holds me back.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 23 December 2004 17:15 (twenty years ago) link

I'm still scratching my head over Arabian Goggles...

― Rumpster Pumpster, Thursday, 23 December 2004 17:17 (twenty years ago) link

one year passes...

[spam]

― Stocks, Monday, 1 May 2006 02:28 (eighteen years ago) link

dammit why do i keep clicking these >:-x

― fandango (fandango), Monday, 1 May 2006 02:32 (eighteen years ago) link

one year passes...

This thread is kind of amazing, guys.

"TURN IT UP, YO" = one of the funniest posts ever

― HI DERE, Friday, 28 September 2007 13:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Any thread that kicks off with a couple of BJ references gets my vote.

― Just got offed, Friday, 28 September 2007 13:54 (seventeen years ago) link

This reminds me of a couple of weeks ago when I was drinking with some friends and they started talking about how "Sphinx-ster" was a gross word and I was like "IT'S SPHINCTER" and they were like "STOP SAYING SPHINXSTER ITS SO GROSS"

― Will M., Friday, 28 September 2007 14:20 (seventeen years ago) link

"SPHINXTER"

Does it ask people riddles?

― HI DERE, Friday, 28 September 2007 14:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Is it the new Friendster?

― xero, Friday, 28 September 2007 14:58 (seventeen years ago) link

one year passes...

I am amazed that so many of the links on this thread still work

― her performance (ie, her pubes) stood out for me (HI DERE), Thursday, 9 July 2009 13:47 (fifteen years ago) link

oral sex - search and destroy [Started by dickvandyke (dickvandyke) in September 2004, last updated 8 minutes ago by her performance (ie, her pubes) stood out for me (HI DERE)

i'm only here to post this.

― 51 logins to SB Jol (darraghmac), Thursday, 9 July 2009 13:56 (fifteen years ago) link

Ned's catch phrases for the two poles of cunnilingus are something special.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 9 July 2009 13:59 (fifteen years ago) link

tmi but this year i had the first shit blowjob I've ever had. Mmmm toothy.

― The Sorrows of Young Jeezy (jim), Thursday, 9 July 2009 14:20 (fifteen years ago) link

"shit blowjob" brings up evil images, don't do that.

― Beanbag the Gardener (WmC), Thursday, 9 July 2009 14:27 (fifteen years ago) link

tmi but this year i had the first shit blowjob I've ever had

jeez, that was a good run you had. it's rare to evade these in the first few years of fumbling (be that yr teens, early twenties, whatever)

― 51 logins to SB Jol (darraghmac), Thursday, 9 July 2009 14:41 (fifteen years ago) link

The Space Monkey is exhibit A for advancing the democratization of space travel

― I hurt your arm and now I want to dress your arm, please (dyao), Thursday, 9 July 2009 15:03 (fifteen years ago) link

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