If you were really rich, would you have a urinal installed in your home bathroom?

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PROS: Convenience.
CONS: Somewhat tacky.

I think if you could pass off the tackiness as willful kitsch, it might be worth it.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:43 (nineteen years ago) link

supposedly Rick Neilsen of Cheap Trick has. I think it's genius.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:45 (nineteen years ago) link

Some friends of mine did, except they have moved house now and haven't repeated it. Seemed no great advantage to me.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:46 (nineteen years ago) link

I was thinking about this, and then got started thinking about other things and have just remembered that I once knew a woman who forced her husband to sit down to pee, and if he didn't sit down, he had to get on his knees and do it so he didn't miss.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:48 (nineteen years ago) link

She had several other weirdo rules, too, as I recall, and my only conclusion is that she must have given a NASTY blowjob, because who would put up with shit like that?

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:49 (nineteen years ago) link

This sitting down to piss is the fate of Jack Nicholson's character in About Schmidt. After she dies he joyously stands up and pisses all over the bathroom floor.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:50 (nineteen years ago) link

sadly I know guys who don't need to get blowjobs to endure crap like that

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Rick Nielsen is one of the few people I can think of who could pass this off as cool.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:53 (nineteen years ago) link

I'd be surprised if she didn't impose that rule on guests and do surprise spot checks to make sure they complied.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:53 (nineteen years ago) link

If I was really rich there'd be 1,000,000 other things I'd buy before a pointless item which will only make it more likely that people will piss all over my bathroom.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:54 (nineteen years ago) link

In answer to the thread q, however, no, I wouldn't.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Who would win a battle of Rick Nielsen vs. that chick that Luna knows?

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:54 (nineteen years ago) link

The main drawback, I think, is that it makes men less likely to wipe after they piss.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:55 (nineteen years ago) link

If you're rich enough to have a urinal installed, you're rich enough to have a butler to wipe for you.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:56 (nineteen years ago) link

For a couple years in college, I lived in a suite in the dorms that had a urinal in the bathroom. It was a cool novelty at first, then I never really thought much about it.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Well, it doesn't really require much thought.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:56 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm sure 30 years of touring has made Rick Neilsen rather desensitized to the power of the nasty blowjob.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Some friends of mine did, except they have moved house now and haven't repeated it. Seemed no great advantage to me.

< annoying TV housing-expert voice >
But did it *add value* to their home?

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I'd want a drain in the bottom of the floor, public restroom style. Then if I pissed all over I could just hose it off.

― andy, Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:03 (nineteen years ago) link

my friends converted an old office into their home so they have urinals, but they turned them into planters instead! silly twee friends!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:05 (nineteen years ago) link

also the answer is you bet your ass i would.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:05 (nineteen years ago) link

ts: golden urinal vs. scarface poster

― amateur!!st, Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:06 (nineteen years ago) link

if he didn't sit down, he had to get on his knees and do it so he didn't miss.

This is fantastic!!

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:08 (nineteen years ago) link

did she watch? i mean wtf, how did she know?

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:09 (nineteen years ago) link

PPTV?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:09 (nineteen years ago) link

i mean if I was married and my wife was making sure I pissed in the right manner I think it'd be kind of tempting to go all R. Kelly on her and remind her who wears the piss wand in this family.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:10 (nineteen years ago) link

I wish I followed R.Kelly's exploits more closely.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:11 (nineteen years ago) link

you're missing out

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:13 (nineteen years ago) link

I wouldn't stop at a urinal -- BIDET BABY.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:17 (nineteen years ago) link

http://homepages.cwi.nl/~steven/julian/italy/itbath.jpg

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:19 (nineteen years ago) link

did she watch? i mean wtf, how did she know?

Beats me. Probably burst in on him at random moments, just to check. She was pretty freaky.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:20 (nineteen years ago) link

Maybe she just checked the floor.

If I am already nude I sit, but I do it facing the tank, like I did when I first learned to pee in the big kids toilet.

― nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:31 (nineteen years ago) link

kinky!

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:32 (nineteen years ago) link

PPTV?

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:32 (nineteen years ago) link

posed penis television

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:38 (nineteen years ago) link

i don't really know how having a urinal is more convenient.. i mean unless you have an actual cubicle too in the room.. so two people can piss+piss/piss+poo together. otherwise how's pissing into a normal toilet different?

the one q i kinda want to know the answer to is.. if you were really rich (and your house doesn't already have one) would you have a bidet installed in your home bathroom? i would be tempted.. i used one about a month ago and it was a very pleasant experience.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:41 (nineteen years ago) link

You don't have to lift the seat or flush and it's angled better.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:44 (nineteen years ago) link

Dude if I were really rich I'd just pay some guy---no, no some really foxy lass. yeah--- to follow me around with a golden pee-bucket.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:46 (nineteen years ago) link

I meant that the bucket would be golden.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:47 (nineteen years ago) link

urinal recipe: drill a hole in bathroom floor, into insert an upturned traffic cone.

― cºzen (Cozen), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:49 (nineteen years ago) link

It worked pretty well, as I recall! They just needed more of them.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:50 (nineteen years ago) link

he's not talking about my house.

― cºzen (Cozen), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Google's top hit for urinal recipe

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:54 (nineteen years ago) link

30/60

― cºzen (Cozen), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:57 (nineteen years ago) link

i guess that is slightly more convenient. esp for those with poor aim. (i slice my pee through with the seat down no problem.. not a drop that doesn't go down the toilet)

toilets with auto-flush exist too.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:58 (nineteen years ago) link

I disagree with some of their answers. I think (2) is actually trickiest. Standing at 6 is like saying 'ooh - I'm paranoid about being within 15 feet of you in case you think I'm gay'.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:58 (nineteen years ago) link

25 out of 60
Well, you barely passed. Odds are in favour that you are actually a female and have never experienced a male rest facility in all it's glory. That, or you're a guy who doesn't get out much. If we were you, we wouldn't be showin' your score off to any of our friends, since they can probably pee way better than you can.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 22:59 (nineteen years ago) link

for 2, I said stall 'I'm okay with being gay but let's not, ok?' 4.

― cºzen (Cozen), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 23:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Ken - I don't believe that. There are micro-droplets. Shine a good light on the seat afterwards and see if you're still such a hotshot.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 23:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Alba - I'm with you on the not going to #6. We can form a homo club.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 23:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Skipping 35 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Shy bladders represent?

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 2 September 2004 12:58 (nineteen years ago) link

Hmm.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Is no one concerned by the fact that the baby in that picture has NO GENETALIA????

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:07 (nineteen years ago) link

What would be really tacky would be a mirrored urinal, so you could look at your schlong while urinating. I guess a gold urinal would be pretty reflective.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:21 (nineteen years ago) link

i was at a wedding reception at maxime's de paris and they had mirrors in back of the urinals so you could clearly see your schlong and the schlongs of those around you WTF

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:23 (nineteen years ago) link

I would have engineered for me a DIAMOND URINAL inside which were contained the SOULS of the 3000 AFRICAN CHILDREN THAT DIED TO MINE SAID DIAMONDS.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Dude, ams, that's why you keep your eyes leveled on the wall and never under any circumstances drop them anywhere near wang level.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:24 (nineteen years ago) link

But you gotta check out your own wang. For self-assurance that it's still there, and even aesthetic appreciation.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:28 (nineteen years ago) link

ha ha, next time I'm in a public restroom, this is what's gonna happen:

*walk up to urinal directly next to whatever other man is in there
*drop trou
*assume usual looking-forward-not-talking stance
*glance down at manhood
*do a double take
*exclaim "man, I'm fucking HUGE today!"
*tap the guy next to me "wow man, you've got to see this"
(*get shit beat out of me, wake up from coma six months later*)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:31 (nineteen years ago) link

i was at a wedding reception at maxime's de paris and they had mirrors in back of the urinals so you could clearly see your schlong and the schlongs of those around you WTF

Perhaps this was to facilitate the peeing contests of which the French are so fond ("les marathons de pi-pi").

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:32 (nineteen years ago) link

except this was in chicago

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:33 (nineteen years ago) link

MAXIMES DE PARIS.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:35 (nineteen years ago) link

A home urinal with a lid. What's the fucking point?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 2 September 2004 18:38 (nineteen years ago) link

Je4nne ƒury, surely that baby is too young to have genitalia yet?

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Thursday, 2 September 2004 21:51 (nineteen years ago) link

I didn't like to look too hard the first time.

Now you've made me stare at a baby's crotch on the internet for a good half-minute. I hate you.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 2 September 2004 21:55 (nineteen years ago) link

I've always wanted to - totally - drop trou in the bathroom. Take off the belt and boxers, let the pants fall to the floor. Stand with my bare-ass exposed and pee, jiggling my ass for maximum effect. Never had the guts, tho.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:03 (nineteen years ago) link

I guess a gold urinal would be pretty reflective.

I thought gold wasn't reflective. Which is why well-to-do vampires have goldware instead of silverware.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Jesus, just lock the bathroom door if you're that worried, jeremy.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:05 (nineteen years ago) link

Err, forgot to mention that I want to do this in public.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:06 (nineteen years ago) link

in a urinal, somewhere crowded.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:09 (nineteen years ago) link

do it at a jail urinal.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:11 (nineteen years ago) link

You're not wanking as you write this, are you?

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:11 (nineteen years ago) link

not to the best of my knowledge.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:12 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't think that's quite definite enough for me.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:14 (nineteen years ago) link

Well, if I said "NO!!!!!" it might look a little too emphatic.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:15 (nineteen years ago) link

I've always wanted to - totally - drop trou in the bathroom. Take off the belt and boxers, let the pants fall to the floor

I used to know a retarded boy who did this in high school. The rest of us just got used to it.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Ha! Ha! I had a Downs Syndrome kid in my elementary who did this, too, and I think that's where I got the idea.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:29 (nineteen years ago) link

I used to know a boy who kept his hands down his pants except when he was wiping his nose or running around the playground waving his arms being a dragon.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:29 (nineteen years ago) link

And no, that boy was not me.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 2 September 2004 22:30 (nineteen years ago) link

The test's phallacy

Best misspelling ever. Or did he do it on purpose?

Come again? I don't understand the thrust of your comment.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Friday, 3 September 2004 04:21 (nineteen years ago) link

That boy is about 80% of ILE, don't feel shame.

― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Friday, 3 September 2004 04:29 (nineteen years ago) link

This thread is my favorite child, the apple of my eye.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 3 September 2004 13:28 (nineteen years ago) link

nine months pass...

I've got one now.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 13 June 2005 21:24 (nineteen years ago) link

classic, no more splashing on the seat. also you get to put them yellow cubes in it.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 07:27 (nineteen years ago) link

three months pass...

: o

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 15:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Urinals use a lot less water than toilets per flush. It's environmentally more friendly and one would suppose more economical.

― dewey, Wednesday, 28 September 2005 16:45 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.exego.net/notes/gadi/user/Urinal%20-%20mouth.jpg

― elmo (allocryptic), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 16:46 (eighteen years ago) link

http://regressoaofuturo4.blogs.sapo.pt/arquivo/Marcel%20Duchamp%20-%20Toilet%20ready-made%20-%20Dada-Movement%20-%201917%20-T1.JPG

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 17:01 (eighteen years ago) link

I would do this in a second.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 18:31 (eighteen years ago) link

I already own a urinal. It looks like this:

http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/9639/backyardjuly20041pt.jpg

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 18:39 (eighteen years ago) link

exactly 1 gallon/3.8LPF !!!

also, i think one of these'd be nice:

http://img.urinal.net/mcsorleys/mcsorleys-urinal.med.JPG

and:

"If I am already nude I sit, but I do it facing the tank, like I did when I first learned to pee in the big kids toilet. "

i thought i was the only one who did that!

also, i would do it.

― AaronK (AaronK), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 18:41 (eighteen years ago) link

I'd like to have a men's pee room for the guys in my family (and I am the only female, including the dogs)—an entirely tiled closet with a hole in the floor and showerheads all round that would come on automatically after each use.
That's how I would spend my personal fortune.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:45 (eighteen years ago) link

ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR THE FAMILY PEE ROOM? YOU THINK YOU'RE ABOVE YOUR OWN FAMILY'S PEE?

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:49 (eighteen years ago) link

I may not be rich, but I've got a urinal in my house, in a small bathroom not far removed from the dining room. the oddest thing about it is that the bathroom doesn't have a normal door. instead, it's got one of those swinging western bar-style door that goes from roughly my knee to shoulder. so, while my guests are over for dinner, I can relieve myself without missing leaving the conversation. classy!

― tobo (tobo), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:13 (eighteen years ago) link

that is very clever

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Pleasant Plains OTM. Peeing outdoors is so very enjoyable.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:19 (eighteen years ago) link

The joy of my childhood in the Sierras was walking onto the front porch to pee on the 'lawn'.

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:24 (eighteen years ago) link

i thought i was the only one who did that!

We accept you, we accept you, one of us, one of us!

I too used to pee outside my door in high scholl - my bedroom was in a converted garage. But I was out there late one summer during the day and it stank! I learned not to pee there in the summer (no rain for months in So Cal).

― nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:31 (eighteen years ago) link

Unnecessary synonym for urinate: micturate, also derived from Latin, and meaning precisely the same thing.

― M. V. (M.V.), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:43 (eighteen years ago) link

an ex-plumber from new york married into one of the wealthiest families in michigan. he got into refurbishing houses. he was very proud of putting 12 bathrooms in a ~4000 sq ft house. no urinals, but i'm sure that's only because he didn't think of it. tackiness... didn't seem to bother him. (here's his pool.)

― Matt B. (Matt B.), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:44 (eighteen years ago) link

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