I'm building a Time Machine! Where do I start? And POO/DOO S/D?

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I'm thinking TARDIS type 40 and also a Delorean, but I'm not sure where to go with from there.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:08 (twenty years ago)

There definitely needs to be stuff that spins. Big swirly disks, like in The Time Machine. Will it make a noise?

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:19 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.canadians.ca/celebs/joni_mitchell-slide.jpgihttp://www.darknebula.org/writings/review_timemachine/morlock_sm.jpg

latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:22 (twenty years ago)

There will be spinning stuff, probably in a variety of colors. Noisewise I'm split between an absurdly-loud oscillating whirr, an electric purr, and a steam-powered hiss.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:23 (twenty years ago)

http://www.darknebula.org/writings/review_timemachine/morlock_sm.jpg

latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:23 (twenty years ago)

Oh dear, Morlocks are discouraged. I'll only be travelling into the past for a while, I think.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:24 (twenty years ago)

they're descended form joni mitchell you know:

http://www.canadians.ca/celebs/joni_mitchell-slide.jpg

latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:25 (twenty years ago)

Mission # 1: I'll have to travel to February 1943 and interrupt her conception!

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:27 (twenty years ago)

Needs a series of wheels that spin to show the intended point in time, and a big red knob that says GO.

Plus a few esoteric buttons and levers here and there, and some mad bloke with wiry hair who's the only one that can drive it.

Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:38 (twenty years ago)

Also an EMERGENCY RESCUE button, the simplicity of which defies the entropic complexity of all the other 2398742398794 knobs and switches.

Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:40 (twenty years ago)

A needless amount of antiquated-looking time-keeping devices should be crazy-glued to the dashboard....along with a Brak air-freshener.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:41 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, like hourglasses and such.

And when you move from one time to another, without changing relative displacement in space, the whole cabin still has to go THWOMP and send everyone sprawling on their arses.

Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:46 (twenty years ago)

Exposed critical electrical wiring.

Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:49 (twenty years ago)

I'd bring some quarter-sticks of TNT for that effect, if the machine couldn't end it on its own.

And Alex - YES on the Brak air freshener, and at least a dozen pine-tree ones, too. Time-travel could get pretty stinky, especially if I end up in a tar-pit or something.

On what principle should it operate? A manipulation of the general theory of relativity? Riding high on the Goedelian crest of closed time-like curves? Wormhole time-dilation effect? A massive spinning cylinder built into a cosmic string? Harnessing the EPR paradox? Freezing myself until time ends and reboots, and thawing myself earlier in the timeline than the present day (but I'm not too keen on this last one, I might get cold)? What?

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Sunday, 5 September 2004 21:50 (twenty years ago)

Have you posted this to craig's list too?

http://miami.craigslist.org/wan/41243973.html

rainy (rainy), Sunday, 5 September 2004 22:03 (twenty years ago)

No, but should I send a reply?

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Sunday, 5 September 2004 22:04 (twenty years ago)

please!

rainy (rainy), Sunday, 5 September 2004 22:06 (twenty years ago)

Send this:

Where's my $1,000?

...

Oh, you haven't got back yet, have you? I'll wait here then.

Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 5 September 2004 22:15 (twenty years ago)

Is this a Joke!??? I hope not! I am thrying to build a machine to travel through the chronomorphomystic sphere, accesseble only as far as I know through the harnassment of an EPR paradox (and coupled woith a Goedel time-curve principle.) Alltogether I will be leaving BCE 2006 or BCE 2007 if I acn finnance this adventure + work out a way to insulte the chamber........ thats the hard part :}! Do you have luck over-coming the Novikov SELF-constincency problem? I am stuck on it but I have some, leads. I saw that you were in Miami and I'm on Los Angeles so we can't probably meet up, but if you can pick me up it would be very aprreciated.

Okay, write back and good luck,

J.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Sunday, 5 September 2004 22:20 (twenty years ago)

I really want a response.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Sunday, 5 September 2004 22:24 (twenty years ago)

You have a vision.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 5 September 2004 22:25 (twenty years ago)

I saw that you were in Miami and I'm on Los Angeles so we can't probably meet up

Brilliant.

Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 5 September 2004 22:26 (twenty years ago)

"Louis, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Sunday, 5 September 2004 22:27 (twenty years ago)

I'm all about that massive spinning magnetic column thing that tries to build a cosmic string.

Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 6 September 2004 07:23 (twenty years ago)

The freezing myself cryogenically, waiting for the endtimes and rebirth of the universe seems to be the best route, followed by a few sequential excursions before another deep immersion to wake me in 2004, redux. But I'm worried about shrinkage, muchly.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 6 September 2004 07:40 (twenty years ago)

OK, this is the problem that I have with cryogenics...

Get some fresh broccoli, and eat it raw. Yum.

Then get some frozen broccoli, thaw it out and try to eat it raw. Yeurgh!

I mean, sure, it tastes about the same if you boil it, but if they boil you to bring you out of cryogenic freezing, that will surely kill you!

Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 6 September 2004 07:43 (twenty years ago)

Oh. And the middle's always overcooked, the edges still unfried. It would suck to wrap all the way around the end of time and space only to loose a toe to frostbite.

Back to harnessing the GPR paradox (per my psychotic letter above to the craigslist poster), and also making tacos for the trip.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 6 September 2004 07:45 (twenty years ago)

The GPR paradox remains unresolved, but I'm working on a transconductor this morning. It's mostly made of a ceramic flowerpot, but it's got a lot of impressive wires sticking out of the middle, and an antenna this homeless guy tried to hit me with.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 6 September 2004 15:55 (twenty years ago)

Paul Laffoley's your man:
http://fusionanomaly.net/paullaffoleytimemachine.jpg

sexyDancer, Monday, 6 September 2004 16:11 (twenty years ago)

This will send me light-years ahead in my research! Laffoley's alien implant proves to be great for me!

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Monday, 6 September 2004 16:13 (twenty years ago)

Don't forget to get legal permission from the appropriate authorities.

jel -- (jel), Monday, 6 September 2004 16:45 (twenty years ago)

I wrote a letter to to CHiPS and told them I will be speeding, but only after the inverse big-bang, and they'll be totally dead by then, anyway.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 02:29 (twenty years ago)

Must I simply say "best thread ever?" And I also recommend an iPod. a massive iPod.

Ian c=====8 (orion), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 02:34 (twenty years ago)

While I'll stand by my conviction that Anton LaVey was for the most part a blithering idiot, he did have an interesting idea about "total environments", a sort of surrogate time travel. Like you would have a room or a house where everything inside conforms to a certain time period - like say the 40's or whatever - down to the smallest detail. All the furniture, appliances, music etc., and everyone would have to wear the authentic clothing of the time to be allowed inside - you get the idea.
I think it would be a fun project if you had the money to do it right.

AaronHz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 02:47 (twenty years ago)

Yeah sure - fun until some alien ship hacks the system and Data runs amok.

Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 11:57 (twenty years ago)

I've got a strict no-robot policy to which I will be adhearing during the flight.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 13:25 (twenty years ago)

Where.in.time.is.Carmensandiego?

Girolamo Savonarola, Tuesday, 7 September 2004 14:11 (twenty years ago)

Oh. my. god. I got a response to my baiting email upthread:


Its nice to meet fellow chronofile! I do actually live in los angeles, I just thought the only people desperate enough to leave this continum would be from FLA. As far as the technical stull is concerned, I dont know how to answer you, as I did not build the machine myself. The gagues are in english, so as far as I can see it was built by an American (or Americans). I suppose this makes sense as I would not have to build the machine myself. as long as someone at some point has built one, and brought it back to me. As far as insulating the chamber, there isn't a need for any with this design. The walls are no more than a mm or two thick, and very rigid. As far as the theory of "casual loops" and such, I don't care much. I don't have any children or family, or friends either, so if I cause a paradox, then I am no worse off. Honestly, my intent is to stir the primortial bucket so to speak, and see what happens. This is why I would like to bring someone with me... to see if anything changes. I do most of my work out of Venice Beach, so let me know when you are available to meet, and you can see it for yourself. I will need to have a non-disclosure agreement for you as uncle sam is always watching, and I need to cover myself. Hope to hear from you soon,
A fellow time traveler

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 02:17 (twenty years ago)

Man, he totally wants to have anal with you.

Girolamo Savonarola, Wednesday, 8 September 2004 02:18 (twenty years ago)

that totally recodes 'wormhole' in my head.

Also, I'm particularly fond of:

don't have any children or family, or friends either, so if I cause a paradox, then I am no worse off.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 02:21 (twenty years ago)

Also, tell him to re-watch the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode with the time travelling toaster.

Girolamo Savonarola, Wednesday, 8 September 2004 02:22 (twenty years ago)

You kind of have to go through with this now, you know.

Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 02:25 (twenty years ago)

Tell him to read this and get back to you with his thoughts:

http://www.timecube.com

wetmink (wetmink), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 02:27 (twenty years ago)

"The gagues are in english, so as far as I can see it was built by an American (or Americans)"

Aside from the spelling mistake, surely he must have more reason to assume it's from the US than that. Maybe there is a parisan bumper sticker on it.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 02:27 (twenty years ago)

"partisan". Hoisted by my own patard...

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 02:28 (twenty years ago)

I wonder if I could interview him in one of my production classes... would make some good footage, natch. (xpost)

and man, gotta love timecube. But we're so highly evolved in our Time Travel theory that Timecube is to us like tinkertoys to a kodiak bear. Rowr!

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 02:29 (twenty years ago)

I wonder if I could interview him in one of my production classes... would make some good footage, natch. (xpost)

I was about to suggest that! Maybe that's the voiceover project taken care of as well.

"He was from another time."
"No, our time."
"ANOTHER TIME."

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 03:27 (twenty years ago)

I'll need some serious insurance for that project, I think.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 03:27 (twenty years ago)

Put up that one lousy teacher as collateral and then sic yer acting teacher on anyone who complains.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 03:29 (twenty years ago)

! fantastic ! I will have to build a mock-up out of a refrigerator box first, but I can write it off as a tax-break "production expense."

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 03:33 (twenty years ago)

It will rival a Dalek.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 03:34 (twenty years ago)

I suppose this makes sense as I would not have to build the machine myself. as long as someone at some point has built one, and brought it back to me.

This part is weird - in the rest of the email he speaks as if the machine exists, but here it's just theoretical.

Maybe he just expects you two to sit around and wait for it to show up.

wetmink (wetmink), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 20:33 (twenty years ago)

He might be invoking the Bill & Ted Principle here.

Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Wednesday, 8 September 2004 20:44 (twenty years ago)

That Time Cube site...it's like an inversion of Donnie Darko's book, the Philosophy of Time Travel (or something similar).

Girolamo Savonarola, Wednesday, 8 September 2004 20:50 (twenty years ago)

I will be leaving next week. Where should I go? I'm thinking my first excursion will involve 1897 and opium.

x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 9 September 2004 05:46 (twenty years ago)

Weimar Berlin, 1927ish.

Crap Bootie, Thursday, 9 September 2004 05:57 (twenty years ago)

Some time-travel advice. Find a place post-Pill and pre-AIDS! Don't wear a condom!

Crap Bootie, Thursday, 9 September 2004 05:59 (twenty years ago)

That kind of thinking would have got Dr Sam Beckett in an awful lot of trouble with Sam. Though thinking about it, Sam always seemed kinda up for it...

Craig Gilchrist, Thursday, 9 September 2004 06:51 (twenty years ago)

Al even... d'oh.

Craig GIlchrist, Thursday, 9 September 2004 06:52 (twenty years ago)

five years pass...

If this guy is still reading, plz go to 2006 and keep me from going to any Oakland A's games w/ an ILXor.

A Patch on Blazing Saddles (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 29 September 2009 17:19 (fifteen years ago)


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