"You're on to plums"

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The headline to a Sunday Herald magazine piece on growing plum trees.

What can this mean? Is there a reference I am missing?

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 6 September 2004 13:27 (twenty years ago)

It's a warning.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 6 September 2004 13:28 (twenty years ago)

I know - it does have a menacing air to it, but what could the warning be?

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 6 September 2004 13:39 (twenty years ago)

It sounds like the kind of thing someone would say in one of those late 90s East End gangsta films, innit?

"You better watch your back me ol' China, or you'll be on to plums!"

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 6 September 2004 13:42 (twenty years ago)

Perhaps it simply means that you are aware of plums, and what they may be planning.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Monday, 6 September 2004 13:52 (twenty years ago)

What are plums planning??

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 6 September 2004 13:56 (twenty years ago)

hyperobscure Glasgow band Dawson had an album called "Barfmarket : You're Ontae Plums".
this isn't helping, is it?

― zappi (joni), Monday, 6 September 2004 13:58 (twenty years ago)

Paul Weller might know this one.

― Bumfluff, Monday, 6 September 2004 13:59 (twenty years ago)

I'm not sure what plums are planning. Perhaps its similar to what apricots are anticipating.

You have to be on to them to know.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:00 (twenty years ago)

This is going to be bothering me all afternoon now.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:10 (twenty years ago)

Is it similar to being well into plums? A bit like saying "You're up for bananas" or "You're down with cherries"? All the same I would like to know how the paper knows how much we're all onto the plums.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:12 (twenty years ago)

OK, I do actually know the answer now. It's a Glaswegian thing, I wouldn't understand.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:13 (twenty years ago)

Um, 'yer ontae plums' means that you're not getting anything. For example:

-I'm waiting for a bus.
-Well, yer ontae plums, The last one's been.

Dunno if this is just a Glasgow thing or not.

― scotstvo (scotstvo), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:13 (twenty years ago)

http://www.google.com/search?q=%22you%27re+on+to+plums%22&btnG=Search&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:13 (twenty years ago)

I think it means "you are of course, aware, being a hip young gunslinger with an IV drip connected to the zeitgeist, that plums are the Next Big Fruit, aren't you? Eh? Eh?"

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:14 (twenty years ago)

a 'plum' used to mean £100,000, and therefore (apparently) the "best part of anything" according to Brewers. That doesn't really help, does it.

x-post. Hmm, okay that makes sense. Never heard that in Glagow - not that I doubt you.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:14 (twenty years ago)

it's a phrase.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:14 (twenty years ago)

oh ok.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:16 (twenty years ago)

No, it is indeed what Scotsvo says. It's in the Complete Patter and all.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:22 (twenty years ago)

I immediately thought of Paul Weller when I read this thread title.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:27 (twenty years ago)

Does this explain why the ScottishJobs.com billboards picture an enormous plum?

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:30 (twenty years ago)

You're up plum creek my friend.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:32 (twenty years ago)

Plum plum plum plum this is my favourite sounding word.

― Madchen (Madchen), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:46 (twenty years ago)

Hey madchen! ILX break?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:58 (twenty years ago)

one minute to five bye bye

― Madchen (Madchen), Monday, 6 September 2004 14:59 (twenty years ago)

It's a Glasgow thing, as stated above, means you're on a loser pal

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:20 (twenty years ago)

Yes. Do you think it comes from fruit machines?

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:25 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I think it's fruit machine thing too - or to use the vernacular, a "puggy" thing

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:26 (twenty years ago)

I thought this too. In the course of trying to corroborate this theory, I came across this frankly disturbing page about life in the Royal Marines: http://www.sharpecopy.com/tips/walkingthewalk.html

This mind-set was also shaped during my troop's time off. Out on the town, our training team encouraged us recruits to be competitive in two pastimes greatly admired by the Royal Marines -- procuring women and drinking large quantities of alcohol. Those of us who frequently slept with different women were envied as being "stacks ratings." (A rating is a rank in the Royal Navy.) To spend the night meant to boast next morning of having got "all-nighters." To have slept with a woman was to have "trapped." Those who could not trap were mocked as being "plums ratings," a phrase coined after a popular fruit machine notorious for coming up all plums but never paying out any winnings. The machine is still located in a Plymouth-area pub where marines find that they can both drink and trap parties at the same time.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:27 (twenty years ago)

Another great Scottish word:

PUGGY - Fruit machine. Derived from an old word for 'monkey' and originally applied to an organ-grinder's instrument ('puggy machine'). Thence used for fruit machines but now applied to bank machines.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:29 (twenty years ago)

(you should hear the whoops of joy whenever an ATM pays out cash in Glasgow)

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:31 (twenty years ago)

I thought "puggy"'s root was in "pugilism".

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:31 (twenty years ago)

That might be "puggled" you're thinking of

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:32 (twenty years ago)

People refer to ATMs as puggies?!

― scotstvo (scotstvo), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:36 (twenty years ago)

Yiddish has more than a dozen words to describe jerks. Inuits have 400 words to describe snow. Scots have MILLIONS of ways to tell someone else they're getting nothing.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:38 (twenty years ago)

Ouch, many a true word etc

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:38 (twenty years ago)

Oh, did they grow plum trees in Underground stations, around 1978, by any chance?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:47 (twenty years ago)

'Yer Tea's Oot' is also a fave Glasgow saying.

― mzui, Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:53 (twenty years ago)

Whereas, "You'll have had your tea?" is more of an East Coast tight-fisted bastard thing

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:54 (twenty years ago)

Ye'll huv hud yer chips.

― scotstvo (scotstvo), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 09:59 (twenty years ago)

i dropped me chips

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 10:00 (twenty years ago)

or is it "spilled"?

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 10:01 (twenty years ago)

We used to refer to Speed Cops as 'The Litres' because of the extra capacity of the Sierra engines they had.

― mzui, Tuesday, 7 September 2004 10:03 (twenty years ago)

Also, has anyone ever heard of a Fish Supper being referred to as a 'Mud'?

― mzui, Tuesday, 7 September 2004 10:04 (twenty years ago)

"I don't want to pish on yer chips, but..."

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 10:10 (twenty years ago)

the messages.

― cºzen (Cozen), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 16:33 (twenty years ago)

"The messages" is a good one

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 16:35 (twenty years ago)

when my sister moved to london, she told a girl she was working with that she was just off to the supermarket to get her messages. weeks later the girl was disappointed to find out that sainsburys hadn't started a message service. she'd been to enquire about it!
i say "pictures" instead of cinema which confuses a lot of people.
also "you missed yourself last night" etc

― zappi (joni), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 17:01 (twenty years ago)

The other day, I discovered that you 'take an epileptic fit' up here.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 17:16 (twenty years ago)

you go for jags.

― cºzen (Cozen), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 17:22 (twenty years ago)

ah, taking an eppy...

― zappi (joni), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 17:26 (twenty years ago)

The other day, I discovered that you 'take an epileptic fit' up here.

Or "eppie" - to use the vernacular vernacular.

My granda used to say "Don't take a hairy canary" - if you asked what that was he'd say it was "a canary fit". I'm still none the wiser.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 17:26 (twenty years ago)

We go to the shops for the messages in Ireland too (and go to the pictures to see a film)

― Joe Kay (feethurt), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 17:26 (twenty years ago)

Indeed, and "you missed yourself last night" is not unlike the Irish "it's yourself"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 17:40 (twenty years ago)

Oh 'eppie' is down South too.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 18:06 (twenty years ago)

pictures too

― Porkpie (porkpie), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 18:08 (twenty years ago)

'Pictures' is a bit more old-fashioned in England, though, at least in the South.

My favourite Scottish thing is "Is that you?" (as in "is that all?"), ubiquitous in shops.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 18:09 (twenty years ago)

That and 'outwith', of course.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 18:09 (twenty years ago)

(I like 'outwith' because it's a nice, precise word, and even features in formal writing, public signs up here)

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 18:10 (twenty years ago)

My favourite is "Naw, ah'm urnae" which translates as "No, I am are not"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 7 September 2004 18:11 (twenty years ago)

seven years pass...

You're on to plums

― the most astonishing writer on ilx (roxymuzak), Saturday, 10 September 2011 04:24 (thirteen years ago)

you're onto plums more like

― Yo wait a minute man, you better think about the world (dog latin), Sunday, 11 September 2011 00:05 (thirteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://i.imgur.com/RMAS2EI.jpg

is anyone else on to the rare lemon plum. I bought one last week but ate it before it ripened & it was bitter and gross and I think they're out of season now :(

― garfield drops some dank n' dirty dubz at 2am (unregistered), Wednesday, 13 March 2013 03:16 (twelve years ago)

plums was like, "everything you do is fake. you're so affected. you always just have to be on."
"you're on too, plums," i cried.

― Mordy, Wednesday, 13 March 2013 03:35 (twelve years ago)

what a horribly formed "plum"

― batteries not included (flamboyant goon tie included), Wednesday, 13 March 2013 13:04 (twelve years ago)

six years pass...

you're on to plums

― ciderpress, Friday, 22 November 2019 13:17 (five years ago)

hahaha!

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Friday, 22 November 2019 13:40 (five years ago)

Excellent revive.

― Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 22 November 2019 13:44 (five years ago)

you don't know you're born

― YOU CALL THIS JOURNALSIM? (dog latin), Friday, 22 November 2019 13:52 (five years ago)

in Russia plums onto you

― fetter, Friday, 22 November 2019 13:53 (five years ago)

jo swinson: yer ontae plums

― -_- (jim in vancouver), Friday, 22 November 2019 22:01 (five years ago)

nine months pass...

The venue manager for the club I organise with my friend emailed me to ask if we were still on course for organisation with regard to the Hogmanay party we do every year. I feel he might be...

― Gerneten-flüken cake (jed_), Sunday, 6 September 2020 02:33 (four years ago)

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