what should i say in my cover letter?

I'm sure it'll make me memorable, just not in the "good" way.

god i hate writing these things.
thank god it's almost cocktail hour

"Please explain why you are so awesome in a way you never would in any other context except a fucking cover letter"

otm

Do all jobs require these? I often wonder if some jobs just want your CV and a short I am writing to you to apply for blah blah, please find enclosed my CV.

I've been doing them for all jobs tho in fear that the above idea was damaging my chances.

I mean some jobs specifically ask for a cover letter, but many don't or say "a short cover letter"

I assume that most jobs "require" one in the sense that it's just another way for employers to filter out candidates (especially right now, when the amount applicants are skyrocketing)

my only advice is tailor the cover letter specifically to the job you're applying for. This was one of the things we looked for when we were hiring recently - we put in the ad that we wanted the applicant to reference certain specific things, and if they didn't do so in the cover letter we just threw their application out. Narrowed the field considerably.

ie it was more of a way to find out which candidates could follow instructions/actually read our ad than anything else

fuck this

every word is painful and yet it's hard to keep them short. good luck.

sympathies

"I am frequesntly visited by dreams of a gray-skinned man with slippery skin. He wants me to take his suitcase but the suitcase always disappears before I can reach it.

I am proficient in Excel merge tables and Powerpoint."

i would be a good content producer why because i produce contnt

hire me i good

I have that grey skinned man dream too but usually the dude is doing pushups

you know what freud said about pushups

Cover letters are SUCH a pain in the ass and usually a waste of time, but everyone does them anyway.

Ugh.

when properly stimulated i am able to produce volumes of content

As a public relations specialist with Wolfe & Crone I was required to produce, on-demand, copious amounts of content which I deftly inseminated into several accounts for multinational corporations.

out of practice : (

inseminated is a glaring word, use seeded instead

"24/m/NYC"

I don't get this what do I do

str8 up, aren't we at the point where we just write a nice email?

and attach yr resume obv

"Hey I'm fairly smart and I vaguely literate, even though that doesn't carry any weight at all as I'm applying for a barista job, but I thought I'd just throw that out there. Also, I'm really good at pretending to be nice."

"I vaguely literate" — see, it's hopeless

I hate working :(

do what shakey said upthread

LOL at 'I vaguely literate'.

'I work well as part of a team' is always good.

if i looking for job

"You will find me a hard-working, personable employee." I kind of enjoy coming up with this bullshit.

"I am not a sexual predator" can't hurt your chances, just in case you got weird facial hair and they think that.

"I am only sexually attracted to people above the age of consent."

"I have never knowingly been involved in a genocide"

"My only weakness is that I am currently unemployed"

"My main weaknesses are extreme idleness and a chronic lack of focus"

I always see what they're looking for in the posting, and then address point by point how my past experience concretely shows I meet those requirements, while at the same time trying to seem both confident and polite. After having written over 100 cover letters using this technique in the past 90 days, I have netted one job interview, as a part-time employee in a Tandy leather shop. Ok, good luck everyone.

I never get the impression they're looking for concreteness, more a haze of invented and slightly bizarre platitudes.

'In five years time, I see myself in a much better job than the one I'm currently applying for.'

"I will bring to the job a set of experience and skills that can only be gained through a lifetime of masturbating ocean mammals"

I basically just wrote a paragraph saying how I'm not a fuck up or a moron despite how shitty my resumé looks.

Friend of mine in a interview for a charity job was asked what superpower he would have, and replied he'd like to be able to freeze time so he could rob banks. Didn't go down too well apparently.

Christ, I fecking HATE shit like that in interviews. I was once asked to tell a joke, so told a bad joke about the Scotland football team that I'd heard on the radio that weekend, figuring that if the bloke interviewing me didn't want shit football banter then he wouldn't want me sitting in his office for 35 hours a week. I got the job.

I always see what they're looking for in the posting, and then address point by point how my past experience concretely shows I meet those requirements, while at the same time trying to seem both confident and polite. After having written over 100 cover letters using this technique in the past 90 days, I have netted one job interview, as a part-time employee in a Tandy leather shop. Ok, good luck everyone.

i did a pretty long, point-by-point redress on an application a while ago, the instructions mentioning that you should comprehensively address the criteria. i was really bummed after not hearing back so requested feedback and got a letter in the mail saying, you did not meet the following criteria:

C5 - Manual Handling

the ability to move things around was implicit in most everything i'd written.

" I saw your ad - marvelous - expect me, on time and smartly dressed. Also, if you had any doubts about my performances, please note my gait upon entry - quick, neat, lively. Feague for success!."

Haha, the job for which I was writing this cover letter called me in for an interview tomorrow afternoon!

I basically just wrote a paragraph saying how I'm not a fuck up or a moron despite how shitty my resumé looks.

― third-strongest mole (corey), Sunday, October 3, 2010 4:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

how did you accomplish this? looking for a 'word for word' answer.

I basically just detailed what I've mostly done in the workplace and what my past employers have thought of me, and also wrote a bit about my interests outside of the workplace.

I just was at an interview and because I didn't put any job history before 2006 the interviewer thought I had been in jail.

If you asked him, he’d tell you that I’m “not very likable, (that I) hate people, (that I) just want to be left alone, and (that I) feel too superior to mingle with the average person.”

That is wonderful.

making a lot of phoned-in & obligatory recession references, hip hop style

ok i just need like a non-awkward first sentence, i've pretty much got everything else together but for some reason i can't find a way to set it up that doesn't sound super contrived

Pay attention carefully: your life may depend on it.

when I was writing lots of these, I always started with something like, "Through the Whatever web site, I learned of your need for a Whatever Job Title. I believe my skills and experience would allow me to serve effectively in this position."

really boring, but helpful if the recipient is trying to fill several different jobs and needs to be reminded which one you are applying for

Mark my words: one day you'll pull this letter out of a drawer and show it to your excited friends. My signature will be worth a lot of money in the future. The reason why? It starts with your wonderful, profitable corporation!

I saw what you did.