Well I Had That Conversation With *Someone*

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Do you ever have conversations with ppl and they'll say "No, you never told me" with reference to something you think you've told them? And then you rack your brains trying to think who it *really was* you told?

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 9 September 2004 12:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I do this quite a bit and it annoys me. It doesn't just annoy me coz it's a little bit of evidence that I might be losing it. But also because it reflects badly on me - the act of telling someone looks more important than the person I told, ergo I value my conversations more than the friends I had them with!

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 9 September 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

It bothers me more when I tell someone something as if new when I have told them before, and forgotten, but yes, it happens fairly often. It's especially true with conversations at FAPs, where I sometimes remember telling a story or offering a view without knowing for sure to whom I said this.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 9 September 2004 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Thank god no-one at work tries that with me as my memory is so bad that I'd be well and truly baffled.

Martin OTM about repeating yourself. I feel a fool when that happens, and I know it happens A LOT on ILX.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 9 September 2004 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I worry less on ILX, since any two threads will have different audiences to a degree, and people can easily skip a longish story they've seen before, whereas in person you either endure it or say "You know you've told me this before," or some such.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 9 September 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not sure that this happens to me at FAPs, but this may be linked to the fact that my appearances at FAPs (in London) are rarer than yours coz I don't live there. Whereas I might have several conversations at work at the same location at different times and I think this might be where the confusion arises. If several different ppl come past my desk and stop and iniatitate a conversation then I'll confuse these occurrences.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 9 September 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I do this all of the time. I'm sure I have the same conversations just with different ppl!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 9 September 2004 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel like this quite frequently. Sometimes I feel like I'm just having one long conversation in my head, and the conversation will be the same no matter who I talk to.

I think this shows that I have some kind of fundamental disrespect for my friends, and that I'm a bad friend, and that I should stop having friends, and just dress up brooms in hats and clothes and talk to them instead. I don't know.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Friday, 10 September 2004 08:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"Have I told you this before? Are you even interested?"

― marianna lcl, Friday, 10 September 2004 08:27 (twenty-one years ago)

heh, I do that to Chris all the time, but he usually has told me, it's just that I'd switched off ;0)

― Vicky (Vicky), Friday, 10 September 2004 08:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"oh my god, i've officially run out of stories. i never knew becoming boring would happen so early.."

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Friday, 10 September 2004 08:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I've always told J stuff & he never remembers, but this is because he never listens! grrrr

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Friday, 10 September 2004 08:56 (twenty-one years ago)

All the time. Also, when I don't know how I know something but want to say it anyway, I usually say "someone told me...". The someone is just as likely to be television or ILX as anyone I've actually spoken to.

― Cathy (Cathy), Friday, 10 September 2004 08:57 (twenty-one years ago)

haha, i so that!!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Friday, 10 September 2004 09:06 (twenty-one years ago)

so = do!! *slaps forehead*

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Friday, 10 September 2004 09:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I've always told J stuff & he never remembers, but this is because he never listens! grrrr

i think this an U&K thing to sort out, the thing is (conjecture ahoy!) men don't comprehend information in the same way as women give information, hence men are accused of not listening, when, it could be argued, the conversational framing of women is not conducive to male recall...

...or we could all just be deafaids who ignore our better halves...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 10 September 2004 09:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Deafheads, i prefer to name you all. I'll tell him something in the only way I can & then he swears blind i haven't told him! deafhead!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Friday, 10 September 2004 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to suspect Joe of just not listening when I told him things, despite the fact that he insisted he had some actual problem with his memory retrieval, and I would get a bit upset about it. But then when he started telling me the same story 2 or 3 times and being perplexed that I already knew the end of it, well, then I actually started to believe him.

Maybe no one really pays attention, I don't know. :-(

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Friday, 10 September 2004 09:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I've discovered that Sarah has developed the necessary switching-off powers with me - I do repeat myself an awful lot (particularly if we're driving past, say, my old school, and I point it out the the 86th bloody time). But her talents aren't quite flawless yet ;)

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 10 September 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

of course because i am bad, there are certain people at work who are *so* verbose, that after 5 minutes i do actually switch off, because i know nothing interesting or useful is going to be said. the problem is, i then find myself doing this when i'm talking to my mother, which is *fatal*...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 10 September 2004 09:54 (twenty-one years ago)

when i'm talking to my mother, which is *fatal*...

yes, your mother, anyone's mother *shudder*.

*my* mother has told me some stories about relatives and her childhood at least 20 or 30 times. I'm wondering whether this isn't deliberate tho. Maybe she wants to be sure that it imprints itself so that the family history will be past on to future generations. I'm not sure whether to be pleased or frustrated by the fact that she thinks there's still a chance I might marry and father children.

But maybe that's rubbish tho. She could just write it down after all.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 10 September 2004 09:57 (twenty-one years ago)

my mother knew that from an early age I switched off, and was very indignant when the doctor tried to tell her I was deaf when I had a hearing test at the age of three.

― Vicky (Vicky), Friday, 10 September 2004 10:01 (twenty-one years ago)

tales of childhood/family are, i think, perfectly acceptable to be repeated ad nauseum, because they are oral tradition. however, my mother tells me about stuff that happened last week three times, occasionally twice in the same phone call...

...it's her age...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 10 September 2004 10:49 (twenty-one years ago)

hmmm, and then they pass on a tale from your sister, only it was you that told them....

― Vicky (Vicky), Friday, 10 September 2004 11:08 (twenty-one years ago)

hehehe, best thread mutation for ages ;)

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 10 September 2004 11:12 (twenty-one years ago)

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