Omigod, I wasn't paying attention and I accidentally pooped in the Ladies room today!

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I was walking around the Shrine Auditoriumat the setup for the Emmys, and I had my headphones on and was listening (and really, really diggin') to this Wilson Pickett CD I'd sent to my mp3 player, when the urge to poo totally came over me.

I ran to the loo, dropped trou in the spacious stall, and

― ex-jeremy (x Jeremy), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

err, should read:

I ran to the loo, dropped trou in the spacious stall, and let 'er rip. As I was halfway through it occured to me that I was in the ladies room. And it was a particularly digusting emission, for what it's worth.

I had to time my exit perfectly, and was stared at by about two dozen rent-a-cops on the way out -- who happened, perchance, to be holding their afternoon meeting twentyfive feet from the door.

― ex-jeremy (x Jeremy), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

this post reads like an everything2 node

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:21 (twenty-one years ago)

hehehe.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:25 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not a crime, man.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:28 (twenty-one years ago)

By the way...WHAT WAS IT LIKE IN THERE??????

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I hear they all have carpet and potted plants.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:29 (twenty-one years ago)

It's very, very, red. Almost like a bordello. Actually - exactly like a bordello. Perhaps I've stumbled upon the secret of the Shriners?

― ex-jeremy (x Jeremy), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:35 (twenty-one years ago)

You lascivious loo-user.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

pooing with your headphones on is fun though, is it not?

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

There should really be a separate thread for that.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but I'm too ashamed to start it. One's scatalogical self-consciousness drastically decreases with audio accompaniment.

― ex-jeremy (x Jeremy), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"Reign In Blood" should be played in bathrooms everywhere at top volume. Nobody likes to hear a plop.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Thats so true! I have terrible trouble "going" at work, if I know someone else has walked into the lavs I um, seize up so to speak.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:43 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah i get stage fright too if someone else comes in

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Me too.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I accidentally took a piss at the ladies room in the Oakland Coliseum once...
"Hmmm, that's weird. There's no urinals in here. I've never seen so many stalls before! Oh well." *zip* *piss*

DUHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

A woman at the bar gave me a funny look as I was walking out the door, and I finally realized what I had just done.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

While I was pooing I heard a woman come in and pee next to me (even in spite of the headphones), and it was the girl-sibilance that announced to me my error.

― ex-jeremy (x Jeremy), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

This might not be the appropriate time or place to raise this, but male and female urine smell different.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Save it for a dinner party please.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

TEH POO SMELLS DIFFERENT TOO! I SWEAR!

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

No need to conceive me!

― ex-jeremy (x Jeremy), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

how could you possibly know this?

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

By "different" I mean "horrible", worse than any manpoo. But I'm sure manpoo smells worse to teh ladies.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Really? I had always assumed that ladypoo was a far more terrifying olfactory prospect.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Once I deliberately went into the ladies. It was a bomb threat, and I had to get everyone out of the bogs. It was a horrifying experience. I crept slowly into the room and said 'EVERYBODY EVERYBODY OUT THERE'S A BOMB EVERYBODY OUT,' but it was empty.

It's weird. They have no urinals, and each cubicle has its own rubbish bin.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not enjoying this Vegemite sandwich.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:54 (twenty-one years ago)

how could you possibly know this?

You've never gone into a private or unisex bathroom after someone of the opposite sex has used it?

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:54 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost haha when i was at boarding school we dispensed with "yeah and so's your mum" insults and replaced them with "the best job you'll ever get is as a bluebin lady"

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

there's an opposite sex?

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

link plz

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

(xxxpost)

It's not a rubbish bin, it's a candy jar! (I recommend you all try it, ASAP!)

― ex-jeremy (x Jeremy), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Them bins is for teh napkin/tampon wrappers, innit.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, if its a normal trashcan, it might have been one of those tampon-disposal chemical jobbies (i never bother with those, I flush mine! Am I going to hell?)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:56 (twenty-one years ago)

You've never gone into a private or unisex bathroom after someone of the opposite sex has used it?

ummmm not so's i've noticed what their urine smells like. and certainly not so i could compare/differentiate it with the opposite sex.

also we don't have unisex bathrooms here.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I had to go rescue a b/f from being passed out in the mens at a nightclub once and DEAR JESUS ON A POGO STICK it smelled rank. The pee smell was this horrible sort of cat piss mixed with Bovril stench.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think I've ever been more confused. I must get drunk immediately.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:57 (twenty-one years ago)

i usually don't flush mine if there's a bin as i don't think they're terribly good for the community's sewage system. i don't think it's hellworthy though trayce

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Americans* call serviettes 'napkins.'

'Can I borrow your napkin when you've finished with it?'
'Uh, no.'

* sorry Gaz

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah I know its very naughty to flush the gubbins, but ugh the thought of tossing them in a bin - even tho I know thats what those bins are designed for - gives me the heebies.

xpost haha eww Adam ;P

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I had always assumed that ladypoo was a far more terrifying olfactory prospect.

Me too. I think that's because you just figure there has to be an unseemly underside to the external serene beauty.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

ooooh yeah i used to retch a LOT when checking the men's loos before locking pubs i have worked in, they smelled BAD. but i just thought it was a dirty boozy unflushed urinal smell rather than "different" from ladywee

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually at my primary school, which was built in the 50s or 60s and never updated because state schools get nothing, we had AN INCINERATOR for the pads to be thrown into. And then burnt.

!!!!!?!!?

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Me too. I think that's because you just figure there has to be an unseemly underside to the external serene beauty.

Oh no, I think for me it's a throwback to when I was three and I had an unshakeable conviction that all girls were just smelly.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

i never ever ever use "napkins" only tampons, the thought of those napkin thingies makes me shudder

also trayce we had them incinerators at my boarding house at highschool, i think it was built in the 70s

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't go to Athens, Trayce. It doesn't have a proper sewage system, so after you wipe your arse you have to throw THE LOT into a bin. I'm not making this up.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

And I hold my hands up and admit, I was dead wrong.

xxpost

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

ummmm not so's i've noticed what their urine smells like.

I'm talking about poo here, gemily! Surely you can smell that right after!

Oh and you can smell the pee if they forget to flush. It's dif'rent.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I ain't throwing my soiled cloths into a BIN! EEUUGH.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I the only one here who tries NOT to smell my own poo?

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm talking about poo here, gemily! Surely you can smell that right after!

heh this is funny. ummmm yes of course you can smell it, but how can you differentiate the olfactory badness between sexes??

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Good lord this thread is odd.

xpost no, you arent - I get the hell out of the lavs before I can smell anything, lest I hurl.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

(I am very very squicked out by pee, poo and puke)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

(This is why I could never have kids)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I the only one here who tries NOT to smell my own poo?

no!!! ewww i don't like any bad smells and in particular poo.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

me too trayce!! kids spew and poo all over the shop, grotty little creatures

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I need to smell my own poo. I need to know that my body has rid itself of the foulest of elements. It's the only way I can feel pure and true.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, how dare they, bastards.

xpost farken

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course, i would never...

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i was in germany for quite a while and a lot of the loos had this funny "inspection shelf" thingy in them that you would have liked adamrl, i think germans must like smelling their poo too. better for it to go straight in the water if you ask me!

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I check my wipe for blood, because it's an important thing to do. But I wouldn't discuss it with anyone.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

but how can you differentiate the olfactory badness between sexes??

TEH LADYPOO COMING OUT OF LADYBUTTS HAS A VERY DISTINCT ROTTING SMELL ABOUT IT

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Is this how one develops some kind of reputation.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I cant read this thread anymore, I feel ill :(

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

as someone who is a poosmeller adamrl? yes i think so

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm really not you know

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

BUT..we all know that every time you smell poo, it does actually mean microscopic particles of poo are going up your nose and sending signals to your brain. We all know that and yet somehow we just carry on with life.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

And you get to thinking that poo isn't such a big deal.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, I know I do.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

ok i don't really want to think about poo anymore today, i think i have exceeded my poothought quota

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

You guys are insane. You can't help but smell it on accident once in a while. It's not like you have to go out hunting for it like Grenouille and his virgins.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Exactly. Everyone ever has smelt poo at least once, and probably thousands of times more than that.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:12 (twenty-one years ago)

The art of building a robust immune system is underrated. If you mask yourself from poo, then one day you get a whiff of stool vapour, you'll get hep C and die.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:12 (twenty-one years ago)

haha way to chuck a suskind reference into a poo thread!!

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Is this thread political?

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

poolitical

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha!

sorry

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Having seen Bush's face on the telly today, yes.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Ladypoopdom is sexy. Just ask James Joyce.

― Collardio Gelatinous (collardio), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

or milan kundera

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to be a cleaner at a primary school, and was surprised to find out that the girls made the place much messier than the boys. There usually wasn't a smell other than pee though, unless they had been really unpleasant.

Maybe ladies poo smells worse because they hold their farts in?

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Ahahahahahahahahaha!

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck, I'm crying with laughter.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread just goes to show how deep kindergarten psychology runs in modern adult society.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

If you read this post, you will get germs.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:19 (twenty-one years ago)

come on everyone loves bum and poo jokes

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:19 (twenty-one years ago)

they are rather...how you say...liberating

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

haha way to chuck a suskind reference into a poo thread!!

You had to know that Perfume ref. was coming, this thread getting bogged down in "smells" and such. THE BOG OF ETERNAL STENCH!

Ladypoopdom is sexy. Just ask James Joyce.
Where does he say this? Ulysses? If so, I just started it but I haven't got to that bit yet.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Once I had a Mr Bean card that said on the front something like 'Let me say these three simple words...' and inside it said 'poo bum bottom'

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Yesh... also some of his letters to Nora are lady-poo-laden.

― ex-jeremy (x Jeremy), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

haha bum

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Right, well if there's no more talk of lady poo I'm off down the shops.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

This is why ILX rules, on the ILE new answers page there's a thread discussing Jung and the existence of God, and then there's this.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

well we managed to insert several literary references in here too, it's almost highbrow

― gem (trisk), Friday, 17 September 2004 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Which is why only hipster intellectualls should discuss poop.
It's classier that way.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 17 September 2004 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i dunno if manpoo and ladypoo smell different, but despite it generally being thought of as the other way around, people who eat meat have WAY more revolting stinky poo than people who don't. this is why dogpoo smells so much worse than personpoo.

― emsk, Friday, 17 September 2004 07:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Is the handwriting much neater in there, or is it an urban myth?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 17 September 2004 07:49 (twenty-one years ago)

They're doing lots of electrical and air-con work in the library at the moment, and the toilets are often closed on my floor, so the other day I washed my hands in the ladies. It was before opening time though. I can confirm that it was quite pleasant in there.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Friday, 17 September 2004 07:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i nearly walked into the Ladies last week. what made it even more embarassing was that the Gents door was right next to it and T1m H0pkins was coming out at exactly the same time (of the Gents).

― the neurotic rassafrassa of harrumph (blueski), Friday, 17 September 2004 08:38 (twenty-one years ago)

If T1m H0pk1ns was walking out of one door I think I would automatically walk into the adjacent door too, rather than wait and then go through HIS door. You cannot be to blame here, Stevem, for doubting your masculinity next to T1m's.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Friday, 17 September 2004 08:39 (twenty-one years ago)

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